Waifu/Husbando claiming thread.
Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per user
>No stealing
>No sexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind
>Discussion is welcomed
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!
Other urls found in this thread:
vocaroo.com
youtu.be
youtu.be
youtube.com
youtu.be
twitter.com
Avatarfags get out of my thread
ey b0ss
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Why is she so perfect bros
>look mom I did it again
Kek, nice one mod
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Apologies we couldn't talk Nui, but I am very tired. I hope we have an opportunity for conversation tomorrow.
Have a fantastic night!
Were we just bamboozled?
Also hello again everyone
>no life
>Juvia claimed
Are you trying to be humorous?
Well you aren't
Wew lad
she still has dog eyebrows
read the filename mai
People who post their waifu's lewds are heretics
(Konata)
I can't really tell when you jest then.
It's fine, we should be able to do so soon enough.
I never jest!
I'm always serious :o
>complimentary (you)
I don't know any artists either other than myself but i'm lazy and have work...
is it said that often? then my 25% calculation may be wrong.
Should I write part 5?
Always. Nobody ever picks mine. Easiest claim. Somehow my waifu isn't a whore.
Now that i can that is a jest!
I see it said in most of the threads i see, it's really impossible to tell, unless we were to look in archives or something.
Its because no one wants that piece of garbage
that I that too :o
how was your day?
that'd be fun but also some work to keep track of
712709570
you only get 1, the others you have to earn
He says to someone who wants it therefor invalidating his statement. Git Gud scrub lol.
Alrighty /waifu/ I'm rather tired so it's off to bed for Juvia
I will wait as long as it takes
I have no problem with waiting, i have no life remember?
Whenever you can get around to it
goodnight
ironically I am the impatient one. which should actually drive me to do it...but it doesn't. eh I may do it eventually...
Was that supposed to be funny?
Its not.
Also its implied that only that one person wants it.
Now if you can um off yourself that would be pretty great
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Whoops, I suppose i'm a bit distracted.
It was quiet so that's nice, just listening to music now.
>Checked
Eh, it's not too important anyway i suppose.
>posts a pony
Reported
Also sage goes in all fields
whatcha listening to? :o
Kurome
QOTT: first time ever using the internet?
for me it was in 2012 when my family saved up for a computer together :o
things are expensive in mexico
HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL
IS THE LITTLE WEEB BUTTHURT
YOU NEED SOME BIORE
youtu.be
She gets fucked by the cookie monster
>he's a janitor
>on the internet
>on an anime imageboard
>he does it for free
>he takes his "job" very seriously
>he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
>he will never have a real job
>he will never move out of his parent's house
>he will never be at a healthy weight
>he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
>he will never have a girlfriend
>he will never have any friends
Thanks for reminding me why I don't disable adblock on this website mods.
true i just didn't want you thinking I said it too often.
I think 1997, we got dialup and had to deal with this, and god forbid someone had to use the phone.
welcome to /waifu/
I like the irony here so you get one this time.
"Off yourself because you uniquely like something."
Your density is biblical bruh! Good luck in life.
jesus I didn't even know it existed that early :o
everyone in our neighborhood got internet in around 2005
where did this meme come from?
If he wasn't autistic and banned for a real reason I'd be fine with it
"Circlejerk thread" isn't a fucking reason
2007 :o
Claimed.
forgot youtube link
youtu.be
it was the prime age of internet tbh
Please end your life.
No one loves you.
>lel im soooo unique im a speshiul snoflake omg did he tell me to kys that basyard >n
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I was like 5 :o
that sounds fun, what kind of websites were there?
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up Sup Forums. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
As of right now this.
youtube.com
I don't actually remember, 2007 perhaps.
Alrighty, well glad to hear you say that then!
It's safe to assume it's multiple people as it gets said in most of the active threads and i know you need sleep.
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
Lol. I am as average as they come bro. I realized that long ago back in 2004 when I found this site.
Question is, why u trying to edge me out? At least give me a reach around bro edging this hard is making my stomach hurt.
:o
THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED 5TH INSTALLMENT
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
Pt 5
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this was a fun battle
the theme scared me ;-;
I turned 29 last month :o
Imagine if you will if it was everyone's first time on the internet at once. that is the best way i could describe it. yahoo messenger was popular as hell and you could always get girls to show you their tits and shit. it was awesome as a kid. but there were dangers like pedobears and the like. also tons of porn sites oh and myspace instead of facebook and myspace was better. wait are you glad to hear me say post lewds or that i don't say it often?
>back in 2004 when i found this site
[x] Doubt
15 year old athiest who thinks filthy frank is funny, you'll look back on this phase in your life and cringe
Was this supposed to be funny?
You realise you're an unfunny faggot right?
youtu.be
Morning Syndra
Saying you've reported someone is against the rules
>:^)
that doesn't make sense
I've never heard of myspace :o
and wow that sounds awesome
how old is Sup Forums then?
It's 12am
maybe we should stop making sense :o
and start making love ^-^
why though
Sup Forums is thirteen as of october 1st 2016
Who got banned?
2003 iirc
hello Eli lovely
I think White and White 2 were the best games in the series.
It's fitting for someone like Ghetsis though.
I mean i'm glad you wish for me not to think of you like that.
Not sure why you would assume the first part, though you might just be a bit tired perhaps.
Yep, before that it was all contained on Something Awful.
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hello
Fucking hell, I don't miss those times at all. I kept on using those AOL free CDs until NetZero came along. We had crappy Southwestern Bell dialup when I first got internet access. 1998 for me.
those are my favorite too
sun and moon is pretty boring :(
wow I was like 8 :o
sex is fun! ^-^
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maybe you enjoy being desired in a lustful manner? but it is also 11 pm
how's it going
>southwestern bell
my nigga
i would have been 12
I'm sure it is
I'm tired
so you're 35? :o
let's do it?
Shut it.
Thanks, babe. I'm mostly here to ship with Akame.
-n-
alex :o
Theres a pic of Shiro (Deadman Wonderland) and Kurome (Akame ga Kiru) gettung gangbanged by a bunch of cookie monsters
m8 do the math again your off a bit
>babe
*blushes*
also is akame ga kill any good in terms of anime?
you should probably go to sleep though i would miss your pics
Lmao I don't even remember, it was many many years ago. I'm 28 now and was like 10 the first time I ever used it. It was probably to play a game or look up cheat codes for a game
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Don't go saying my name all willy-nilly.
I don't know but he sounds like a pretty chilled guy.
I was told no one will know.
Find it and bring it to me at once.
I thought it was good, but I think everything is good.
>
Here's a gif.
I'm good
I will soon
Mai
I'm not saying every virgin is a Waifu claimer, but every Waifu claimer is a virgin
but I'm 29 :o
wow you're old af
I didn't know that was your real name, just a meme u.u
I bet you're good in bed too
Is it as bland and easy as X and Y?
that's a shame, guess they were a bit overhyped.
I don't see how "post lewds" connects to that to be fair.