ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
i fucked your mom xD
Cant handle a little scratch without flipping.
"Alpha".
This.
...
>be me
>cry myself to sleep every night
>wake up everyday sad cause not dead
>alpha dog
not really a flawless victory if you got scratched user.
but this never happened so it doesnt mater.
I was at the strip club and a girl walked up to me trying to sell me shots and to buy her a drink (I was wasted already) she remembers we went to high school and acts all cute about it flirting with me and asks if I remember her and I said yeah and told her her old nickname and she smiled. I ended with a smooth "I'm still not buying you a drink"
She messaged me on Facebook the day after
fuck as alpha
...
YO ELLIOT!
>Lol I kicked an animal which is way smaller than me, and couldn't defend itself against a human anyway
Kys
I'd be alpha if you killed an aggressive bulldog, but a fucking cat? You're cancer
>be me swimmer
>setting up to start swimming
>friend try's to push me in the water from behind
>not strong enough to get me in in
>turn around and push him so fucking hard into the water that I here his ribs crack
> learn to green text
LOL he must be a lil dick cuck pussy.
Let me get this right, instead of standing up to your neighbor and claiming the kill like a true alpha. You chuckle and shittalk it on the internet and claim to be alpha. Also you kicked a cat 1/10th your size...... guess the cat wasn't the only pussy that day.
OP you asked for alpha stories, don't come to us with beta shit.
I know how I'm laying in bed on my phone and I just don't care
>SuggaMaPeepee
who that?
>being this new
>i want to lick d.va's asshole and her feet
big buff man
when i was 16 i took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend. then we were fuck buddies for quite a while. also fucked 2 of her other friends once in awhile
>seriously you have no idea how badly i want to lick her asshole and her feet
i'm telling the teacher on you
And this is what we were to as a cunt.
>be me
>cat being a cat scratches my arm
>autism activates
>kick the living shit out of animal literally 1/16th my size
>animal never had a chance in a real fight as i am much larger/more autistic than it
>laugh (internally not out loud cuz I am the embodiment of a faggot) as owner who loves animal tells me they have to put it down
>tell /b I killed an animal and claim i am alpha
> few years go by
>kill more animals
>feels good man
>start luring gay men to my apartment
>behead them in gay rituals
>take snaps of their disembodied heads with my dick in their mouths
>faggots
>get caught by cops
> jail seems pretty certain
>bring up screenshot of me being "alpha" on Sup Forums
>case gets thrown out because I am mentally unstable
>profit.
snitches get stitches
That's not even beta, it's omega. He'll grow up as a fucking cuck. Letting some other guy fuck his Mrs.. He'll only be good to clear up the mess and raise someone elses children.
Awwww did a little kitty hurt your skin :( you so alpha.
You got issues...kicking a cat as hard as u can because you saw a cat as your equal, it hurt u so u show your alpha strength....faggot.
>walking down street
>two old asian men behind
>start talking shit about me
>"that Im a fucking american, Obama is a shit president, they all are poor teachers, shameful"
>turn around and rip them apart in flawless mandarin
>one drops of a heartattack, the other gets ran over by an out of control asian lady in a SUV
>walked home
>Flawless victory
though I did agree, Obama is shit.
>Being on Sup Forums for over 10 years and being called "new".
Hows it feel that your only way to be happy is by saying stupid trendy things from Sup Forums to fit in? I bet you walk around saying this shit in person too.
I can't wait for you to reply with some other dumb shit or an overused meme. Or don't; because that's just as good
>claiming to be an oldfag when you're actually THIS NEW
man you're a faggot, i thought summer was over
>run inside
protip OP: any story that includes the words "run inside" is not alpha
Cat needs to know its place.
Well done sir. I would have just given it a solid punch to the face, but I hate cats anyway so w/e.
>Join Royal Marines at 17
>Get my lid by 18
>Deployed to Iraq at 19
>1 week till I kill someone
>FuckingAwesomeHeadFlipsOpen.jpg
>Do another tour there and the three in Afghan
>Deffo ping 12
>Last two weeks of deployment out for a Bimble with the lads
>See some gopping OD's (all fat knackers) enter a compound
>Have two "winks" with us, but I'm their sea daddy
>It's 45 degrees (totally redders!)
>Snurgle to the Tali's
>They have no "dickers"
>caught them unprepared
>personally pinged three
>the lads vittled up the rest
>get a brag-rag for it
>MiD, mum's got it on her wall!
>Alpha as fuck civvies
1 /16th, lanky ass fucker.
> taking a stroll with 2 buddies in the city center which is full of people.
> see a group of stupid shits (about 7) coming towards us.
> we get out of their way but one of them splits from the group and gets our way walking with his shoulder right into mine. I don't clinch.
> they begin saying shit like watch where you're going.
> I say maybe you watch where you are going, you walked straight to me.
> they all rush to me. My buddies get out of the way. I was holding an apple and I say to one of my buddies: hold this.
> they proceed to kick me with all they got then they got the hell out of there.
> mfw I got beaten by 7 faggots in front of some hundreds of people.
> didn't cry, followed them as long as I could. Called the cops. They came fast but agresors where far already.
Speak American English you cunt.
Where is the Alpha part user?
Le funny meme thread about killing cat xD
Gamma as fuck.
"Hold the apple"?
Got into a fight with 7 guys?
>Kicking animals
>Alpha
>MFW
Attempted to be alpha, went full retard instead. Don't pick a fight with 7 guys unless ur some UFC MMA motherfucker.
>be me 16yo
>walking around hallways in school before first period, bumping 21 guns by green day
>some dumb fucking dickhead cunt trips me
>i fall, and hit the ground but i do a quick roll after i hit the ground so it seems like i didnt fall, but i did make a loud noise when i fell anyways so yeah
>i turned around and face three dumb football playing fucks and say "...who just decided today was going to be their last day on earth..."
>stupid fucks laugh at me
>i pull out my credit card knife (see pic related if you dont know what it is) and try to stab one of the guys
>i miss but thats just because i was disoriented due to staying up late last night
>seriously though any other day and i wouldve stabbed him perfectly 10 times out of 10
>one of the cunts swings at me
>i attempt a backflip but it was too slow due to me being sore from exercising the previous night, so he hits my nose pretty hard before i backflip
>my backflip makes me land on my head, but i do a backwards roll to try and play it off again idk if it actually worked though, i think they knew i hit my head
>i get up and tears start coming up but thats just because when i fell something probably got in my eye
>i attempt to engage the fools but a security guard picks me up and throws me on the ground
>my stomach fucking hurt so bad after that because the impact made my stomach digest my breakfast too fast, not because the guard hurt me or anything
>the three guys pretend like i started the fucking fight
>my honor is tarnished by them, and im suspended for two weeks for starting a fight and having a weapon
>the suspension kind of set me back on homework so i focused my energy on more important things and ignored school, i could just try again next year
>kind of sucked though bc i failed that year and didnt graduate on time though lol but no big deal haha
so i beat them up good. but yeah the getting held back thing kind of sucked but whatever, every failure is just to bring you towards success ;)
Speak?
It's typed you fucking mongoloid.
I'm English, so I speak proper English you cunt.
Not the dumbed down whiny shite you yanks call a language, now fuck off you minging knob-jockey.
It's not like I started it.
So, this guy punches you in the face and you try to do a fucking backflip?
So even americans hate being called americans
>an aggressive bulldog
The fuck.
if a cat weighs 5 pounds then 5x16 = 80 pounds
>chilln' in da loony bin
>big psychosis happenin'
>alpha as fuck dawg
>checked
>be me
>was so horny that time...
>I texted a gay friend
>Hey m8, i'm home alone, would you like to "WATCH" a movie or something?
>yeeah! i'll be right there in 10 minutes
>ding dong
>I open the door...
>Hi :) May I use the bathroom?
>yes, go ahead i'm so fucking horny...
>alright
>I go to my room
>I look for condoms
>my friend shows up naked
>ohh my, your dick it's way bigger than mine!
>yeahh bitch, alright give me the condoms
>what? r u fucking kidding me? I just wanted a blowjob... and fucking you a little
>hahaha why did u think I was passive tho...
>O_O ... i don't know
>he pushes me agaisn't the wall
>and penetrates me with his 25 cm dick
>my ass got destroyed,
>my ass start bleeding a little
>ok, stop it!
>why? I didn't cum yet you little fag
>I just want him to leave my house
>he didn't want to leave 'till he cum
>alright then, I made him a blowjob
>swallowed his cum...
>pretty much I become gay, he becomes alpha
>also, if you don't reply your mother will die
weighing 80lbs = lanky fuck
you dumb cunt
explain yourself faggot. jesus christ the autism is real. no one is inside your world only you you fucking autist.
>Be me at yearly festival thing
>Drunk as shit
>Chill with friends
>Some some dude I know
>Go talk to him
>His phone rings
>The person asks to talk to me
>Calls me a disgrace
>Search for an hour after him
>Find him
>Beat him the fuck up
>The bitch is crying saying he's sorry
>Go drink some more and have fun for the rest of the night.
...
are you being serious right now
do you know how light 80lbs is? do you know what an 80lbs man looks like you dopey cunt
He should have put a bullet in your worthless, retarded brain.
LMFAOOOOOOoooOoooooOOOOoooOOoooOOoooooOOooOoOooOOOooOOooOOOOOOOOoOoOOOooOOO
80lbs~40kgs
Implying that Euro English is the only proper English is like saying Mandarin is the only proper Chinese.
Your slang isn't even close to proper.
IF you guys become relevant again we can talk about your English being the "proper English"
LOL sounded hot
>break up with gf
>months later tell me shes fucking an old friend of mine
>confront friend two days ago
>denies everything
>toomanycoincidesces.jpg
>ride past his house
>text him to comeout and talk
>calls me out for riding by
> dosent respond for an hour
>tell him im gonna buttfuck his pussy ass
>no responce
>been up all night waiting on a text
All this after i got drunk and actually buttfucked another guy.
Here's another one:
> be 16
> walking down the street with 3 buddies
> guy with a porsche which the whole city knew he is a faggot (made black gay porn) passes by. But he is one of the big shots in the city.
> I shout : " faggot!
> he rolls back.
> 2 buddies try tu run. I stay chill with another one.
> guy gets out of car holding a gun (illegal in my country) and goes after the 2: "stop or I'll shoot!"
> when I see that I go to gay shit and tell him to chill the fuck out, I was the one who shouted.
> he says with tearing eyes: "how do you know I'm a faggot". Strikes me with his gun. Gets in car and gets lost.
> old lady with a kid witnessing is terrified of what happened and can't move from her place.
> we keep it cool,mind our own business.
> I got a bruise on my face and a wound on my inner cheek.
> heard later on everybody laughed at him for threatening a kid with his gun.
Ok we are seriously at an impasse right now.
I was saying that an 80 lb fuck nut being alpha is about as fucked as anne frank saying she is a hero. What are you saying? that my fractional exxageration is somehow throwing this thread?
samefagging
Nigga you asked for it when you back talked back to a bunch of meatheads, the one who walked into was just hoping youd say something.
Don't you know what a setup is? Not talking about installing an operating system.
retarding
Replied to the wrong person, dumbfuck.
you got a 25cm dick, bruh?
This takes being autistic on a whole new level eks dee.
I hope this is a troll post.
That or your just Aspergers/autistic as fuck.
Kek i could not make up this shit.
Yeah, and?
>be me
>trying to take pic of dick and an enlarging angle
>cat is 10 feet away
>my alpha in me roars like the mighty fedora wearing lion
>jump up and somersault to mcwiskerley with neck-break speed
>target aquired
>"ow!"
>fucker scratched me
>i drop kitty as fast as i pick up and back flip away
>wounds arent closing on their own
>pee on the cuts, pain is more than i could bair
>crying in corner of my room covered in blood and piss with sharpie up pooper reveling in my victory
>im aplha herd leeder
no, i just wanted to include him because i like him ;-)
Hope you die painfully in a fire OP
i'm not autistic you faggot
...
faaaaaaaaaaaag
most cats weigh more like 8-10 pounds
Let me translate this for you from Marine to English;
>Deffo ping 12
Definitely killed 12
>Last two weeks of deployment out for a Bimble with the lads
"Bimble" to wander/saunter
>See some gopping OD's (all fat knackers) enter a compound
>See some fucking ugly gentlemen of another faith (all big fat gentlemen) enter a compound
>Have two "winks" with us, but I'm their sea daddy
Have two inexperienced lads with him, but he's their designated older experienced soldier demonstrating good marining
>It's 45 degrees (totally redders!)
It's fucking hot
>Snurgle to the Tali's
Crawl/approach the Taliban fighters
>They have no "dickers"
They have no lookouts
>personally pinged three
He killed three of them
>the lads vittled up the rest
The other marines shot up the rest
>get a brag-rag for it
they gave him a medal
>MiD, mum's got it on her wall!
He was mentioned in dispatches and a copy of it is on his mothers wall
>Alpha as fuck civvies
He regards himself as superior to others who have not served and killed in this fashion
Hope this helps.
im telling MOOT on you for posting that
ill stab
You got your ass handed to you in front of hundreds of witnesses, gamma as fuck dude
i disagree and i hate that Sup Forums removed IDs
damn are you really that stupid ? You shouldve used the apple...
>lolz
>#newbetafag
when i was 13 i helped grandad to lynch a nigger
Maybe in america.
so do the simple conversion...
1/8
there equation makes sense jesus christ ever heard of TOLERANCE
A lot of that is marine slang, go back I have translated it into English
>be me
>be the good kind of piss drunk
>be in paradise; green grass, flowers, mockingbirds singing, beautiful shaped clouds in the sky and a lake.
>shitnigga.jpg gotta take a leak
>alright user, there is a lake after all
>start pissing into it, noprobs
>wake up pissing in my room
>alpha as fuck dawg
>First year of high school
>meet solid 9 junior
>me around a 6 or 7
>she has a bf that shes been with for 5 years
>her bf = not a fooken problem
>we talk from sun up to sun down and then some
>summer comes she breaks up with him comes with me
>we suck we fuck and then i dump
>boo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nigger
K I'll take it, handled it like a man.
Didn't go full retard this time.
Not very alpha, but here goes
>Be me
>driving thru parking garage
>giant SUV backing into a spot
>spot to small
>blocking traffic
>taking a long time
>somehow manages to fit, against all odds
>actually a little impressed
>give the driver a thumbs up as I drive by
>driver ends up being smoking hot lady
>she's smiling, blushing, embarrassed
>gushing everywhere
>parking garage flooded, whole mall shuts down for the day
>rescue squad called in, survivors evac'd to nearby hospitals
>mfw I'm not the evil patriarchy for teasing a woman about her driving
>only time in my life I've been cool/successful with women and it was a total accident
lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao ay bro u a real nigga
Whyd his post get deleted? lol
>try's
>here
Learn English faggot
Another one:
> be 23, med student
> had some shit going on at school and have to pay shit ton of money.
> try to get q job. End up dealing poker at a local club
> most clients are gypsy mafia, extortionists, villains, you name it.
> they always try to intimidate me by saying and doing shit.
> I love dealing poker so I don't clinch. Always penalise them when they do mistakes.
> one night guy pulls out a sword and puts it on the table. Silence.
> I ignore it, watch him straight in his eyes and say: "call or fold?"
> they are all surprised by my calm. Night ends. I get enough money for cab and a shawrma.
> go to my girlfriends house.
> fuck her good
> LG. Life's good.
im saving this to my fucking hardrive
Yeah it really did thanks, can't expect a civilian ot know what the hell your talking about.
More power to ya for killing those sand niggers.
Aside from that, the Marine talk my friends use here is completely different.
>be me
>be 16
>turning 17, its my birthday mothafucka
>get a samurai sword herewego.jpg
>swinging it around to train my skills; almost at the point where I transform to a super saiyan
>take my clothes of because its hot from all the fighting air
>training some more
>cut off my dick by accident
>being a eunuch ever since
>still I consider myself alpha