TT: Crazy stuff you've done to your genitals or crazy places you've put it in because you were stupid horny

>TT: Crazy stuff you've done to your genitals or crazy places you've put it in because you were stupid horny

Round 2. Egg fucker edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=hWToW9ZNOpo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Posted in the last one right before bump limit here it goes
>Young, stupid, put tip of liquid soap dispenser in the tip of my liquid love dispenser
>Pumped hard, twice
>MFW cried trying to pee it out mom thought I had a UTI that miraculously got better after a half hour.

mfw I didn't get into the cap

SCREENCAP FOR ???

I GOT INTO CAP.
NICE

which one?

Samurai Jack

>be me
>family gets treadmill
>running on treadmill because i am a fat cunt
>look down at moving soft material of the treadmill
>childhoodcuriousity.jpg
>penis goes here
>bend down
>get out penis
>accidentally put my knees on the moving treadmill
>faceplant into concrete floor with my dick out
>dick gets caught in treadmill
>itburns.jpg

cool

>mfw you made it into the cap

This isn't even funny though. This didn't deserve a screen cap. Stop forcing this shit.

>NO FUN ALLOWED
Fuck off

Eh, i thought it was funnier the possible troll trying to tell people that was normal for a boy to suck off another boy before age 10 and that 'the majority of boys do it'

He fucked a egg and a beer bottle
how the doesn't make you kek

Why the fuck is this a thing now?
>wow mom look at this I finally got in a screencap on Sup Forums
>who said you could some down for turkey user? You're running Thanksgiving.

Make me ya Lil bitch

haha, comma's are important

It's epic.
NEVAR FORGET

"make me your little bitch"

You know when you buy raw chicken in the market and they removed thier head and so theres a hole. I fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt good

Remember Thanksgiving is celebrated in 2 countries you fucking autist

>fucked a dead chicken's neck
Kek

...

>thanksgiving in us
>posts this
>ill pass dinner thanks

> mfw first the egg fucker now this
> mfw Sup Forums will never die

HAHAHAHAH fuck me sideways bro you need to use commas

>be me
>be 16 years old
>summer camp
>haven't fapped in like 4 days
>stupid horny
>it's night
>everyone is sleeping (together with 3 other kids in a cabin)
>want to jerk
>don't want to make a mess in the room, because you don't want to be the camp loser
>toilet is a outdoor cabin and always smells like shit in it
>see other cabin member's shoe
>stupid idea
>take it
>put dick and press the shoe with my hands, so that it put force on my dick
>rub it
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
>Repeat
>Finally came
>Half of the shoe was soaked with it my cum
>was afraid that someone heard anything
>put shoe silenty back to place and hope it gets dry until tommorow
>night goes over
>Said cabin member put on socks and shoe
>"My left shoe feels wet somehow. Strange"
>He didn't gave a fuck and walked with that shoe for the rest of the camp
>mfw

>fucked a dead chicken's neck

why the fuck would you think that was a good idea??

FUUUUUUCKK

>fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt good

You devilish bastard.
10/10 story

I think ,i will pass thanksgiving dinner

>be 7
>no idea what my penis was for
>just know I like touching things with it
>be taking bath one day
>I'm alone because big boy
>grab bar of soap, wash body
>go to wash genitals
>penis touch
>das pretty good
>continue to fuck bar of soap for about 15 minutes
>dick is now bright ready
>have to piss, feeling dirty, piss in bathtub
>accidentally piss on my face while laying in bathtub
>go back to humping soap for a while
Fast forward 30 minutes.
>go to piss
>feels like literal fire coming out my dick hole.
>mom is worried and confused
>dad lays me naked on his knee and begins splitting open my dick hole to see if anything is inside
>I then had to confess what I did.
>wasn't allowed to be alone in the bathroom till I hit puberty.
Oh man, dick got me in so many troubles.

Finally some recognition!

I feel you. This was me.
See

> till I hit puberty
your parents should watch until you decided to move out

>fucked a dead chicken's neck

>be 15
>home alone
>kinda horny
>cat walks in room
>Pull out muh dick
>cat looks scared
>put dick back in inventory

Already moved out. I am free to fuck bars of soap as I please.

you shoulda fucked the pussy

>I fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt good

Thx man.

>he didnt give a fuck
>he didnt
>he
>HE

faptime ruined

Meant to rply to

I'm done for

I know. That weirded me out. He just said this fact and putted it on anyways. But that thought that he walks around with my cum on his feet was quite delicious

youtube.com/watch?v=hWToW9ZNOpo

>fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt good
>fucked a dead chicken's neck
>dead chicken's neck

>fucked a dead chicken's neck

Put me in the cap

You little devil

I fuck a vase on a regular basis

>>fucked a dead chicken's neck
Thx m8, you ruined Thanksgiving for me

[spoiler]Was it still bloody?[/spoiler]

>fucked a dead chicken's neck and ut felt good

Which part of "from supermarket" did you not understand? It was not

>>fucked a dead chicken's neck and it felt good

Who the fuck eats chicken on Thanksgiving

No, we have turkey, but it's still the same

Is this a thing now? Repeat the phrase invented by someone, until the "fun" of it gets dried out?
Where the fuck are these niggers comming from?

>lel le epic bread

All these faggots

Who came (cum) first? The chicken fucker or the egg fucker?

They should make a /tw/ board to these hivemind niggers, so they could spam KAPPA as they please.

>this post

Keked and checked

How do I become a mod so I permaban these fucking Bananaposters?

First you have to become a banana...

Top milkdude

John, haha. Where did you find this one?!

Oh somewhere online haha. It just cracked me up! Thanks for joining us tonight Bill.

I'm literally going to become a Janitor and work up the mod position to eliminate your kind. See you in the /trash/ buddy.

>>See you in the /trash/ buddy.
>implying one person

Holy shit all these responses how new are you?

The dark SJW rise

>this arouses zhimner