My girlfriend doesn't want to have a kid (plan to get married)but yet I really do...

My girlfriend doesn't want to have a kid (plan to get married)but yet I really do. We are both 18 is this too early for me to presume she has made her mind up? Anyone with any experience?

Also general relationship and advice thread

Problem is I really fucking love her

Give it time children, you don't want a kid yet, you can't even buy beer

She just seems very persistent on the idea

>america is only country

When guys get their midlife crisis and start fucking around, women get their and start wanting to have children. Only dumb her when she is between 25 and 30, then its pretty sure.

And under no circumstances marry her in the next 3 years. You will regret it. Why do you want it?

>the kids want to have a kid

I want kid(s) because I want to be a father. I want to give my kid everything I didn't have and what I was never given. Something to be proud of. And I imagine I couldn't have anyone else but this girl. We have spoke every day for over a year and a couple months. I love her and want to spend my life with her. This is the only issue

Op here.

She says she doesn't want to waste her time on a chukd which would be spent on me and her. She doesn't know if she will care for it and thinks she may regret it.

I am really torn here, any advice?

She is right and you are wrong. Pretty simple.
Marrying wont protect you from losing your girl because you grow apart. Get adult and then talk about marriage. Wtf is wrong with you?

You're right. Thanks

Regardless of who's right, you don't agree on a fundamental decision in your lives. You're probably not going to work out.

>america has largest economy and best millitary

So yeah, its the only one that matters.

>implying you aren't on an american website made for americans.

I hope this isn't true. I'll give it a few years until that time. I just don't want to have wasted my time on this

WTF
Why the hell do you want a kid at 18

You do realize you will fail every goal you put forward bc you don't have capital to properly and comfortably support an entire family

if you want to give something to your kid, build your career first. my parents waited until their mid 30s, now I'm 23 and retired.

>Anyone with any experience?
Wife and I decided not to have kids. I kept checking periodically, just in case she changed her mind - many years later and she didn't

I made sure that she was serious before we got married as, to be honest, child rearing would fall mainly on her.

I think this could be a real relationship breaker, and you have to be careful that a girl who says "no kids" won't be overruled by her hormones, biological clock and peer pressure.

How good is she at ignoring what her friends and parents say to her?

I do agree about building a career first and being financially stable. I worry about when I do get to that point and it's still the same decision

Very good at ignoring what they say. She would used to do things her parents would say not to do simply out of spite.

so she doesnt respect her parents, but you want to be a parent with her?

She would be a good mother. I know that.

At the time of when I knew this was happening it was her earlier teenage years and probably end of puberty. She was also depressed and this changed her way of thinking

Cont

Her parents were also asshole to her. Mother and her would argue and she told me her dad drank a fair amount and argued with her mom

>i'm 18
>I know someone will be a good parent.
lol you'll see.

>We are both 18 is this too early for me to presume she has made her mind up?
Yes
And virtually EVERY woman wants to have kids, Just probably not at the time you do.
My advice: just keep dropping loads into her. She'll forget or "forget" her BC eventually.

That's a good sign, imho. Do not underestimate the pressure of the parent's desire for grandchildren.

Shush - adults are talking. Run along and play, now.

>And virtually EVERY woman wants to have kids
Mine didn't. And the percentage of childless couples is on the rise.

This is why I wanted a kid, I had mine at 22 solely because my wife and I had decent jobs

Find out why she doesn't want kids
>Is she insecure?
>Did she have a bad relationship with her parents?

Giving them what you never had is the best feeling, but if you do that too much with toys or games they end up spoiled, I grew up kind of poor in a shit apartment and always remind my kid that she's lucky she has what she has

At 18 you are still a fucking child and so is she. Dont get married. You're a fucking idiot for even considering breeding at this point. KYS Faggot.

She doesn't want them because she feels like she would regret it and would have wasted the time. Etc.

hes not really an idiot, just a compulsive teenager that wants to do something idiotic.

at 18 she will regret it. she'll have no young adulthood to remember.

OP do you still live with your parents?? If you do why the fuck are you asking about this shit?

That's true, but that also seems to track with inflation-adjusted personal salaries, which have been on the decline since the early 1970s.
When those circumstances change for whatever reason (she marries someone rich, salaries start going up, children become a new status symbol or what have you) you will find women opening their legs and throwing their BC to the wind.

hey, dumb bitch
u need to stop thinking about having kids.
U need to start thinking about not having kids.
Why would u marry any1?
Why would u marry a woman, that isnt gonna give u offspring?

18 is too young, wait till you're 24-26 so you can live little, like someone said earlier you can't even drink

First things first though, make sure you have stable income that can support a third person, kids are expensive especially when you want to give them things

op seriously go and live life. I had a 3 year relationship end when I was your age and it sucked but I went off to college and now make 30$/h with awesome benefits. Now I'm dating an awesome girl who has a 2 year old from a previous SO and so it takes off pressure to have kids. The difference? If we did have kids I could support everyone as a family. I couldn't have done it at 18.

You are presuming my wife and I are poor, or could not comfortably afford children.

Actually, if you look at the stats, birthrates are falling most amongst the well-educated and affluent.

>i love her
what a fucking faggot

mate trust me, you are just thinking with a pre conception of progressing to the next step in your life. trust me. if you love her just wait the time will come later ... maybe 4 to 7 years . if you dont care about her then still dont do it shes not ready either getting married is easy it just takes a lawyer to get divorced but it takes a knife a vat of acid and a limepiit to take back a kid

u know why?

To clear up his statement up, for a man to get custody of his own kids, he must prove that thr mother unfit to be a parent
Even if he is more qualified and the numbers show single fathers do a better job

Wanting a kid is a mental illness and should be treated as such.

...Which, coinicidentally, is where there has been the most erosion in salaries.

The poor have always been poor; it's the middle and upper classes that are seeing their dreams being eliminated as their salaries never rise to the level of their similarly-qualified parents. This makes it impossible to start their families without going into even more soul-crushing debt than they already have.

No, I don't. And I don't think the sociologists do either. It seems to be happening and many countries are investing in fiscal stimulae to try to encourage the birth rate.

Without coming over like a eugenicist, it could be argued that because the well-educated and affluent are choosing not to procreate, or procreate at a lower rate than required to maintain their population, mankind is breeding itself to be more stupid.

thanks thats what i meant... i think

its cuz having children is a chore, having them early is a problem and men r starting to figure out spending money on yourself is more fun, than spending it on wife or a child

...

because people are smartening up and realizing that having children IS NOT for everyone. Some people have absolutely no fucking business having children.

There needs to be a test in order to qualify to have children, and if you don't qualify then you have to get a vasectomy. If this could happen we could breed a race of geniuses.

Its not that. And those lazy welfare fuckers are smarter than you might think.

People with kids can get a better living being a single parent-making 29,900/year or less and getting all of the welfare and benefits-than a pair of people can by killing themselves and making 69,000/year.
Any social worker who gets paid to distribute welfare will tell you that the magic salary cutoff is 30k. Where I work I've even had coworkers quit their jobs in early December rather than go over 30k per year because the extra benefits are worth so much.

>people are smartening up and realizing that having children IS NOT for everyone.
>If this could happen we could breed a race of geniuses
You don't see the disconnect in your logic? You'd have to force the intelligent to breed against their will and better judgement and forbid the stupid. And that presumes we need a world of geniuses.

I'm only going to tell you this once OP, and I know you are 90% likely to ignore me, but this is the best advice you will ever get in your life:

Do not get involved in a long term relationship, especially married, to a woman that you have a fundamental agreement about something as serious as whether or not you will have children, thinking that you will "persuade" them or they will come around to your way of thinking naturally. People are individuals, and if you go into a relationship like marriage thinking you will fix them or persuade them, you will be lucky if you only ruin your own life. Maybe she will eventually change her mind, but you can't bank on that, and you have to be prepared and expecting that she is telling the truth and does not and will never want kids. If she does change her mind, it won't be because you constantly bring it up and try to persuade her, or that she loves you so much and sees that your so great that she just can't help wanting to bear your children. If you do convince her, and she is really not into it of her own accord, she will hate you, and maybe herself for letting you convince her, and maybe most tragically, hate the kid(s). You are 18, and you will resent hearing it, but you are a baby yourself, and your fucking with your future, your girls future, and potential kids future, so get it together and figure out whether potentially remaining childless is a deal breaker or not, and if you decide that it firmly is, stop wasting your time and hers with long term talk.