How do I drink beer, Sup Forums?
I want to get shitfaced, but for fucks sake, that horrible bitter taste. Nothing about the drink seems appealing to me, except the drunk effects afterwords.
The best I can manage is a few sips before I start gagging.
>inb4 "pussy"
if you have cans you can shotgun
also there are many different kinds of alcohol that are not beer
go to an ale house or a brewery, make sure it has aleast 10 taps, sample it them all, cheers you just got fucked up and probably found a great beer.
really really really cold beer for you
>, that horrible bitter taste
What are you talking about, I think it's delicious. Are you gay or something.
>wants to get shitfaced
>drinks beer
Drink beer because it's tasty. Drink this to give your friends and family even more reason to hate you
ops probably drinking some 80ibu ipas lol
thats how i was but not as bad as you, eventually the urge to want to get drunk will over power your disgust, plus, if you have ever gotten drunk at all, off beer specifically, it won't fucking matter after about 3 or 4 and you will drink it like it's soda because you start feeling more and more inebriated
>that horrible bitter taste
As people age the "sweet" taste buds on the tongue die, meaning that people's taste moves to the more bitter and savoury end.
You're simply too young to appreciate it - stick to jelly shots with your schoolchums
Drink cider instead, you cuck.
Butt chug it, with your butt. You'll probably love the taste.
>80ibu ipas
I have no fucking clue what you just said.
Beer normie here. I guess.
Start here. Work your way up.
>that horrible bitter taste
Don't drink IPA then. Drink extra pale shit like Rolling Rock and PBR, shits cheap and tasty, or just buy Popov and tonic if you want to get fucked up.
I don't drink to get fucked up anymore, so beer is perfect for me. Good taste, when it's made right, and very weak effects that hit almost instantly (it normally takes up to 20 minutes to feel the effects from a shot or mixed drink) and it's a very good filler if I can only afford a light dinner. Honestly next to weed and masturbation beer is the best way for me to calm down at the end of the day.
actually you can get pretty fucked up off beer, but if you want the beer to pack a hell of a punch drink a quarter of that bottle first then drink beer the rest of the time
Take shots of liquor faggot
Or drink bitch beer. Mike's Hard, the flavored Smirnoff and Jack, Twisted Tea, etc. You can't even taste the alcohol.
oh wait i just read that it's fucking ever clear, nevermind just drink like 2 shots of that first rofl
>Rolling Rock and PBR
American beer that has to be served ice-cold to give it a semblance of taste.
Don't believe me? Try it warm - it's piss.
Or he's still a kid, like 18. OP you fag just get a vodka soda.
you fucking pussy
Pour it in your butt.
I've drank lots of warm beer, and at that point I don't care for the taste but the effect.
>94.5% alcohol
are you fucking kidding me...? rofl what is that one shot drunk? strongest i've had is some moonshine and that was like 80 percent
International Bitter Units
the more its got the more its a punch in mouth
Even to a seasoned alcoholic, a quarter bottle of what is essentially moonshine is enough to wake up shirtless in a ditch
The last time I indulged in that fucking paint thinner of a beverage I tried to get into the wrong house on the way back from the bar, broke a window in my frustration because my damn key wouldn't fit, and I really just wanted to go to sleep.
Didn't get arrested, but the cops showed up, and though it still baffles me to this day, drove me home and never filed charges. I didn't even have to pay for the window.
The only part of the exchange I remember is telling them my name and where I lived, that I would pay for the window, and one of them saying "I don't have time for this shit"
All in all would do again
try some darker beers, like stouts ales and porters. they usually have less hops and have a different sort of bitterness thats much less fucking horrid.
Dont get that pretentious IPA style bitter shit. Get regular bud or bud light and add bloody mary mix and salt and lime to it. Fucking delicious
its pretty a little more than two and a half shots in one. shits awesome as cold as you can make it
Oh hell. I did post the wrong one. I accept your beratement.
Thas the gud shit rite there.
>instructing op to drink like an even bigger faggot than he already is
yea lol that was before i read the bottle that it was everclear, i thought it was your typical 40%,
I understand that ipas are an acquired taste.
but stop being a product of capitalism and drinking the least beer possible. that shits made of rice dude, hardly able to be called beer
>in order to be a man you have to like the taste of beer
okay faggot
Ah yes, the "Bloody fairy"
Fuck outta here, Cleatus
>Thinking masking beer with fucking tomatoes doesnt make you a faggot
>implying thats what i meant.
that pic is depressing but you know what also sucks? is the fact that when we get clean and are coming off drugs our "cubes" are still jumbled and we still aren't right in the head, aren't used to feelings, emotions come back ten fold after numbing them for so long
>implying it doesnt have the same alcohol content
Try a wheat beer, they're not nearly as bitter.
How old are you OP? Not even bantzing, beer is something you just have to grow into. Up until I was about 19 I couldn't stand beer either. Then suddenly my tastes just changed and now I can't get enough of it.
Also what are you drinking? If it's that bitter then you may be drinking some shitty hipster IPA. Try a light beer. Also making it really cold will help you overcome the taste/smell better.
>implying thats the problem
Ive never seen a bloke order a cocktail that didnt strike me as a rod smoker.
In that case, why not drink appletini's you fucking fairy.
>Then suddenly my tastes just changed and now I can't get enough of it.
>I can't get enough of it.
Protip - that's just alcoholism talking
>our "cubes" are still jumbled and we still aren't right in the head
Thats being a person sucks shit, and for so long we indulged in escapism. Most of us have must become the liquor to survive. Perpetuating the industry of distractions.
>Most of us have must become the liquor to survive
YOU ADOPTED THE LIQUOR. I WAS BORN IN IT. MOLDED BY IT.
>80ibu ipas
Not hard to look it up... IBUs are International Bittering Units, which is a measurement of the effective transference of (primarily) alpha acids (but other acids too) from hops into beer. Alpha acids are the primary bittering component in beer. There are lab tests that can get an exact amount, but brew boil times and hop type and amounts can give you a reasonable estimate of the end result. And people can't distinguish differences below around 5 IBUs anyway.
>IPA
That's an India Pale Ale, which is a typically bitter beer. English varieties are much less bitter, on average, than American ones. Especially PNW pale ales, which are as bitter as they come (out of balance, imo, and not very good most of the time). Since you don't like the bitterness in beer, user was assuming someone fed you an IPA, probably a bitter one around 80 IBUs
There are other beers out there. Some are super low on bitterness: look for a traditional Scottish ale, any German wheat beer (particularly a dunkelweizen, especially if it uses a traditional decoction mash), red ales can be mild, brown ales, and English bitters are not so bitter, despite the name.
TL;DR: I'm a brewer, and I've been able to find a beer for literally every person. People just have different tastes, and beer requires a developed palate to really enjoy. Keep trying.
drink sake
>why not drink appletini's
>spending 10 dollars on a drink instead of a 2 dollar happy hour beer
>missing the point entirely
youre fucking retarded. just stop
I'm glad yours came back. I'm all but certain I'm permanently warped at this point. Cheers, mate.
maybe start with bland beer.
stella artois is mild.
if you do ok, try carona extra.
any light colored beer is going to beer least beerish, not light beer though, that isnt a real beer, at all
pilsner is ok even though some have more flavor than others and sometimes have a feint weed-like taste.
amber tends to be more pronounced and straight forward tasting depending on the grains and preservatives used.
cider, its not exactly a beer but can get you fucked up if it was brewed strong, much like i do in my once in a while setups. i drink cider dry so it doesnt taste sweet.
ipa can be bitter due to an additional hops used when brewed. take care if you consume since some people get noticably numb when drinking and can get wildly stupid.
porters are smokey, taste can resemble salt or bacon
there are smokey beers that have a bitterness like ipa, look almost reddish or black like porters and bitter like ipa.
hope this helps op
>I'm a brewer, and I've been able to find a beer for literally every person
Blue Moon has been my favorite for a long time but now that it's become a meme beer, it's getting more expensive and /ck/ mocks me as being a beer """enthusiast""". What is a cheaper alternative that could replace Blue Moon?
>Watches other men at the bar
>They don't order manly enough drinks
>Imagines how gay they are
It's nice out here user, crack that closet door
Not that guy, but thanks for posting this.
>or just buy a regular 2 dollar beer and not have the same taste in drinks as a cheap college drop out skank.
>missing your own original point
>being a queer
Op wants to figure out how to stomach beer, not replace it with a gallon of nigger jizz, you fucking retard
Bud Ice
you might just need more clean time, well depending on how bad you were, alcohol pickles the brain after chronic repeated heavy use
I used to not like beer either, but then I grew up and stopped being a pussy
>
i live in the pnw and holy fuck we have so many ipas. Super great flavor range but god damn do i get sick of being kicked in the mouth by hops after awhile
There are plenty of people who dislike beer at a young age, it get's better as you age. Start with a few beers a week, maybe one a day, eventually you will love it.
>implying
>implying
>implying
um, any other wheat beer?
>not understanding that pubs are social atmospheres
>defending drinking a beverage designed for 40 year old women
>assuming somebody who orders that shit at a fucking bar could be anything other than a fucking panzy
>implying implications
>panzy
I dunno user, I think WW2 era German tanks were pretty manly.
OP, the bitter taste thats throwing you off is probably the hops
lighter beers as a rule generally taste more of hops than darker beers
Ipa's are the hoppiest, followed by most lagers, then wheat beers
Darker beers have a maltier taste that over powers the taste of hops. Its more like black coffee, or baking chocolate.
The solution isn't lighter beers, try something darker, or stick to liquor
Imagine the driver walking into a pub and asking for a beer cocktail.
That might kill the illusion.
>order a cocktail
Vodka and Tonic/Gin and Tonic is gay, wtf?
blue moon has always been a meme beer. its always been made by Miller Coor
>understandingly perfectly that bars are social environs
>not judging others on what they drink because I'm secure in myself and I honestly don't give a shit
>Not bothering to make assumptions because I'm too busy GETTING DRUNK
You're just digging the hole deeper dude, stop.
drink faro
Theres nothing gay about that shit, i love g&t provided its at east 2/3 gin
Im referring to cocktails where the alcohol is beer., not 80 proof liquor
I order fruity drinks all the time at bars dude. If anyone gives you shit you just own it, nothing is weird if you act like it's normal.
I just like drinking really sweet things.
94.5
>pussy
Good luck picking up a girl, user.
the last thing a women wants when getting hit on at the bar is seeing the bloke with a more feminine drink than hers. Really shows them youre just fucking beaming with testosterone.
>Blue Moon
It was good before Coors bought it. But they cheapened it, which sucks.
>What is a cheaper alternative that could replace Blue Moon?
Honestly, don't go cheap. There are some amazing witbiers out there, and they are typically more potent and/or way better if you shell out another dollar or so. Some options, depending on where you live: Allagash White, Hoegaarden, Dogfish Head Namaste, Ommegang Witte (or literally any other beer they make), UFO White, Boulevard Two Jokers Double-Wit (at 8%, this'll kick your ass).
The other option is to upgrade to a Tripel. Tripels are similar in style (both Belgian, similar yeast, hops, and grains) and super heavy on alcohol (7.5-9.5% ABV). It doesn't take much to get going on these, and they taste amazing.
god damnit i stand corrected
Drink beers with higher alcohol per volume, I recommend Golden Monkey. But if you just want to get drunk, go for 211 Steel Reserve. Or as other anons said; stick with liquor.
No problem. Brewing is my life right now.
Ah, I see. Those drinks are okay i suppose, but they aren't nearly as strong. They're all about flavour and I never liked bloody mary's or anything of the sort.
Considering I'm literally a gay faggot who likes dicks, I don't really care what women think famalamadingdong.
HOLY SHIT op do not fuck with anything with the words "steel reserve" in it, i'm a beer drinking and i can't even drink that shit, i'd rather drink piss mixed with alcohol
Same user, im arguing this point from experience in which guys to hit on.
Says the guy posting on 4chin at 6 am
9/10 women want a guy who orders what he wants because it's what he wants. Ordering something you don't want because it appears more "manly" to the people around you is about the height of a being a prissy little faggot.
If you want whiskey, order whiskey. Long island, go for it. Fucking margarita, cheers. Fireball and 7up? Own that shit.
Being a man is about being a man, not about pretending to be one because you're a scared child at heart.
People respect the man who knows what he wants.
Steel reserve is terrible, but great for getting drunk cheaply on beer.
Same, I live in Portland. They put too much hops in everything here. I had a dry-hopped witbier, and it made me fucking angry. Wits are supposed to be easy going, the aroma is supposed to be citrus-y and coriander. And I got a noseful of what I figured to be Cascade hops. People here are going in droves toward cider to get away from the hop punishment, but they are starting to hop cider now, too. But I don't do that shit at my brewery. There are different styles for a reason, and not all of them are hoppy.
Oh no i cant poison myself with alcohol cause it tastes bad! Help me Sup Forums
Fucking hell. Just go smoke some weed. Not only is the high better than being drunk. You recover faster AND its delicious.
And no excuses about money. If you can afford beer. You can afford enough to get a .5 at least.
>followed by most lagers
Lagers are a fermentation type, not a beer style. And there are plenty of low-IBU lagers.
it is, but i would much rather buy some of that hard apple cider tall boys 8%, it smells like rotten apples because thats exactly what it is, but drink 2 and u got a solid buzz, 3 and up is the drunk range
>its always been made by Miller Coor
A brewer at Coors stated a brewery that made Blue Moon, but it was independent for a good while. Then it got popular, and was pulled into the Coors company... and subsequently ruined.
Stop drinking bullshit domestics mass-produced by villains who use cheap hops and cheap farming methods to produce cheap beer that is sold to your redneck assholes and pickup truck cock sucking broke back mountain ten gallon cum-dumpsters and drink some real shit made with real style and real hops.
And buy 750mL of nice Bourbon and take shots to kick you into hyperdrive if the beer is low in ABV since you sacrificed ABV for price and hopefully taste.
Steel reserve is still more cost-effective than a sixer of Hard Cider, at least here it is. Assuming cost is the main concern.
>drink a quarter of that bottle
>a quarter of moonshine
>grain alcohol/moonshine 95% ABV
you would die, I'm not kidding. that shit tastes like what rubbing alcohol smells like and it will kill you. it says so on the front of the bottle.
Op, drink früli, it's really good.
Or if you want something else try martini asti, it's a sweet wine that's about 20 bucks for a huge bottle just get it cold and chug it.
If you want to drink liquor then get popov and mix it with orange juice, or drink kinky if you don't care if people think you're a homo. Also try 4loko, most of the flavors taste like ass but some are pretty good.
I love a hoppy as shit ipa! Brewdogs elvis juice-grapefruit ipa. Mikkeler you will die 9.4% dipa aligator tugboat by pressure drop brewery.
Failing that get me a russian imperial stout .
Watched savages last night. Boomting
faggot drinks bullshit 'beer' that tastes like garbage and is advertised to kids
it is better here too, i would buy that but i literally cannot drink it lol, iv'e tried a couple times and i just tend to gag it back up after like a third of a can
lol that was before i looked at the bottle and saw it was moonshine, my mistake,
>drinking beer to get shitfaced
I'm not at that point yet, but I know its shit. I just use it to kick me into the alcohol consumption process and continue with cheap american extra pale beers. Either that or hard alcohols, which will take me down the rabbit hole quickly.
Pussy
Get real