Waifu Claim Thread
Previous: Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per user
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, ALL HAIL LELOUCH!
Makoto Claimed.
Other urls found in this thread:
vocaroo.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
...
JIBUN
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
yea, only understood about half that stuff, pretty sure it's new in 5th edition, i'll work some of his attacks in, I like that dreams of madness
Sameji claimed, but going to bed, g'night everyone
OHAYO
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
Cuuuute
Why not do your promos?
you're pretty good
You get it??
>the thing ;)
Claiming my Harem
1/8
OP has good taste
Things that Waifu virgins will never have, Go!
>a girlfriend
>sex
>their own money
>good dental hygiene
>clothes below size 42
>a face free of acne
>friends
>a pillow that doesn't have a cartoon character printed on it
OHAYO
Ranked LoL just pisses me off too much. I get too into the game and leave the game frustrated and angry, hence why I only really play normals and ARAM
2/10
LeLouch is dead
AT LEAST WE HAVE LELOUCH!!
YOU SERIOUS?! HE IS ALIVE IN THE NEW SEQUEL!!
Pic related is me, faggot
JIBUN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
NOU!
WHY THANK YOU!
>I'M NOT AUTISTIC ENOUGH TO FIGHT OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS!
WRONG! HE'S COMING BACK, IT'S CONFIRMED!
I understand I really just try and have a good time and get better regardless but I'm still silver 3 so idek about league competitively.
Wanna play soon maybe rn lol?
timestamp nigger
Yep, thanks bro.
>
Wew, Radiohead sure does make some sad/lonely music.
>a healthy diet
>a mom who they only talk to when she calls
>the ability to use a toilet by themselves
>floor not covered in piss bottles
>non greasy hair
>fingers free of cheeto stains
>LoL
There's your problem
...
I'll play a game right now, lemme hop on
I've only listened to like one Radiohead song.
You... yelled at me...
> Cute seemingly without effort beckons me to give up the (you)
3/10
Whats so big about LeLouch? Code Geass is shit
>Yes to all but the first
Try harder please.
>All yes
Please user
Claimu!
Hi, Luluco.
4/10
Yeah, no it's not. It's sad that you have to pretend to be someone better looking than yourself in a desperate attempt to boost your self esteem. If it is you, you look like a try hard "punk rock" kid who made his parents buy him all these gay ass clothes so he can pick up high school chicks. I know it's not really you but the guy in the pic looks like a complete try hard faggot, and will look back on this phase in his life and cringe so hard his face will mold into the expression, kill ya self my dude
My friend got me hooked on Kid A album.
5/10
I guess since Alice2 is not being claimed I'll claim her again ITT too.
I can only imagine how ugly you are, pretending to be some British faggot names Rat boy as your alter ego. Goodness fucking gracious
Stay mad faggot
You're jealous that I look better
Hey, now I get free publicity, thanks faggot.
ok, looking what to do next
I AM HYPED AND EXCITED! I AM NOT USING CRUISE CONTROL, THIS IS ALL SHIFT KEY! SO I AM YELLING EVERYTHING!
>STILL NOT CUTE REEEEE!
BECAUSE SOME OF US LIKE IT AND ARE HYPED!
>pretending to be a brit bong faglord to make yourself feel better about you neck beard and acne ridden self
I like alternative rock, but their stuff is a bit too soft for my tastes, I guess.
>he's still going with it
This is just sad as fuck lol
This was clearly your back up reply for when someone called your bullshit, if it's really you you wouldn't have a problem with a timestamp. You won't do it because you're a fat virgin who got caught pretending to be someone else
Yeah man I'm too hard core for that trash. Mommy told me to shower or I get my body pillow taken away, I told her to frick off and shut the basement door in her face. Can't play that soft garbage in MY basement dweeb
Not even gonna lie, this faggot's getting half good with these trolls
Stay mad homeboy
Still needs to work on his vocabulary though.
Still waiting on that timestamp
>implying you need a decent vocabulary to troll an imageboard and succeed doing so
Okay but, the first 3 aren't trolling. He's really using a random pic of a British musician to disguise his true neckbeard self
Not gonna be called a fag by some weeb who has never even felt a vagina before lol, you haves dozens of images saved of an obscure cartoon character that you obviously beat off to
Idk. You're sure to find something eventually.
I am the other way around, I sometimes like slow, depressing music. Massive Attack, How to Destroy Angels, Radiohead, Trentemøller.
But then again other times I like upbeat shit like deadmau5, Fox Stevenson, Glitch Mob, Justice.
This
>obscure
You must be new here.
Kaga claimed
Curious, how many pictures do you have?
>he knows he got caught pretending to be someone that isn't his ugly ass self
Keep trying to dig yourself out of this hole home boy. We still waiting on that time stamp or you're pic related
Is it summer already?
Has desu died into obscurity?
>somewhat annoyed yui
He literally posts a meme girl you ignorant child
I am a fan of some slower rock like Pink Floyd, but most of my favorites are bands like Rush, Rage Against The Machine, Wolfmother, blink-182, etc etc
YYEEEESSSS
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up Sup Forums. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
reeeee back atcha cuter
hey there c:
10/10
cuuute
FUCK OFF KONATA
What are you trying to be by being the most retarded user in the history of /waifu/? I mean, you have a small dick that looks like a FUCKING MISSLE, you probably have a retarded wife/girlfriend, because she loves someone who has that dick.
You said you are fucking your girlfriend whenever you feel like, but that's a lie, because you always say you are bored, and that's why you are shitposting.
I fucking hate attention whores like you, nobody likes you except probably cancerous anons of this community, you are gross and your life sucks.
You didn't had internet for some time because YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB YOU FUCKING BIGOT, you are poor as fuck and that's why you live in america with your mother that you probably fucked.
I hope some nigger kills you, too bad that won't happen because you don't get out of your basement.
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
Just kinda irks me that its only the same insults over and over. I can deal with it because they are literally the opposite, but hes now showing any evolution.
>Fucking trips
...
Whats your thoughts on the newest blink-182 album? my alternative rock semifriend said he was disappointed in it, something about they making it more like pop.
I like a lil bit of Pink Floyd.
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3, I'm writing these as I go
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
If dubs I will post part 5 and write part 6
>Sup Forums
>Madness
Fuck it doing it anyway, fuck you man children you know these are all true and pertain to your life
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
Pt 5
How are you cutie?
>Im writing these as I go
NICE MEME
:ok_hand:
10/10 shit posting pasta
THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED
I have a wife an children.
Shit poster here, ask me anything
>lying on the Internet
Sad, strange little group of manlets
I like it a lot, it's a little more poppy, but it has a lot of fun songs on it.
great now that ur here :D
>that fucking watch
Watch costs more than your body pillow lil boy
Hey, you are a new one. Either that or you quit being a hipster shit.
How do you feel knowing you are blessed with the higher chances of dying at an earlier age than me?
I had the opportunity to go to their concerts twice, I turned down both, have I made a mistake?
Why do you smoke? Smoking is bad for you.
>manlet
Says the guy who's 5'11"
cute
put it closer to the camera i wanna see the model
I don't smoke often, but this autistic shit had me needing a cig. I work down the same street as my friend and he brought me a few
Says the guy who human girlfriend is hotter than your cartoon wife would be if she were actually real, let's see a pic of you then Manlet
Aww is someone mad I insulted his cartoon wife?
Nah man, just those pillows get real fuckin' expensive obviously, ever spend 3000 euros on one? :^)
Smoking doesn't work like that, you don't just "need" a smoke when you don't commonly smoke already.
Or are you seriously getting stressed out over a bunch of weebs?
vocaroo.com
Avatarfags get out of my thread
Aww, that's nice of you.
Whatcha up to?
I didn't say it was that expensive, just costs more than your semen encrusted pillow. Go ahead and damage control and talk shit about it knowing I bought it with my own money while you save up good boy points for chicken tendies you autistic fuck
SACHI
*hugs*
Yes. I hear their shows are fantastic. Lots of punk shows are high energy
I haven't spent a euro on anything. I'm not from a weak SJW country that let a bunch of Muslims in to be politically correct, if you've spent that much money to compensate for your lonliness and small dick, I pity you
Can respect Citizen is a pretty good maker, not rolex but doesn't need to be
8/10 would eye watch intimidated
>never smoked a cig before
Fucking shut in man child
I turned them down cause that alternative rock dude kinda had a thing for me, he also doesn't want to be a dude. I didn't want to make thimgs weird. I an asshole?
yeah the mussies and polit correctness shit kills it but what can ya do, i make the best of it, at least I can't get cucked but hey, if I can afford to spend that much, it's not too awful, I just don't wanna get stabbed/shot by the fucking silent jihad
Hahahaha you're country is the one getting cucked you buck toothed tea drinker. Fucking headlines every month about eurocucks dying from their own political correctness
Playing league with Yuuki
u?
dat filename
hello (Yui)
*hugs*
Nah, just lost a shitton of my family to it.
Me picking up smoking would be like me shitting on my grandfather's grave.
Nice damage control btw.