Be me

>be me
>hate myself
>want to die
>don't have the balls to kill myself

what do?

I've considered suicide by cop, but not sure how I would provoke the situation.

>Pic unrelated, just some fawns I saw the other day while driving.

Why do you hate yourself user?

I am a failing uni student that doesn't do anything but drink, smoke weed, and take pain pills in his free time. Also 5'5 and have social autism so no gf

What exists in your life that you enjoy, or at least fends off the feeling of emptiness for a while? Have any dreams or aspirations?

I'm in a similar position, dropped out of high school because of depression, now I really don't know what's worth the effort. I smoke lots of weed too.

So you just want an answer to the pain? Dealing with my emotions is so hard honestly. My heart goes out to you user. You'll be okay. It'll be hard, but push through!

And the reason to push through the pain?

Quit being retarded mate, life has no meaning and suicide is the best option, but it takes courage. Just because you are getting cucked by 4 billion years of evolution telling you to survive and breed, doesn't mean others should be too.

I can't even tell you it gets better. I can only tell you that if you keep going you can make it better. I won't tell you not to kill yourself because I tried to drown myself a few months ago.

Suicide may seem like the right answer but it isn't. Sucicide dose more harm than good. If you want to live a better life than go see a therapist or something. Try and study, find people who have similar interests to you. And think about how sad your friends and family might be if you were to kill your self.

I used to feel the same way, and i think i figured it out. So you hate who you are, or at least who you are currently. So if you want to 'kill yourself' you could just 'kill' your current self by becoming someone else. I thought of it as "old self" versus "new self." I set a list of guidelines of who my new self was, and practiced it until my old self stopped existing.

As far as I'm concerned, the old me is dead and deserves it.

In all honesty, the only sympathy I have for you is the fact you were born. I'm sorry we were all thrown into this with no say.

Suicide only hurts the cowards and selfish, that do not have the balls to do it themselves.

Seriously mate, a global mass genocide would help all humanity's problems, as long as there were no survivors.

OP here.

Only thing I find solace in is nature tbh. I go on hikes whenever I can. I used to be able to hike daily before moving to the city. I have no motivation for anything anymore, I just like to sit and look at the plants and animals I see.

It's hard to stop being a suicidal drug addict, user. I'm scared to reach out to family or friends back home just because of anxiety about reactions and how they would talk to me afterwards

Oh and also, there is no better. There is only the satisfaction before it wears off again, and the cravings, whether it be for experiences, love, drugs, food, etc, start again. Life is a loop, and in my honest opinion, to continue the loop is illogical.

I really understand what you're saying here user.

So how do I man up and actually do it then?

cutting helps you get over the fear. once you start and get used to the pain, its easy to just bleed out

Thank you. You start by seeing death as you do the time before birth, they are the same. You need to know that everything will end in a cosmic blink of an eye, that it is extremely unlikely that you will change anything in reality.

But, don't be in a rush to get there. Think about it, do the things you want to do first. Mine was dmt, now I'm working on summoning courage.

Plus, read up on existentialist philosophers such as Schopenhauer

Looks like you habe nothing to lose then. Cut out the alcohol and pills, drop out of school, and use your funds to buy a bunch of weed and camping equipment. Go live in the woods for a little while, become one with nature, and then you might just find happiness.
A little determination goes a long way.

How would being a dirty hippy help him with gaining the happiness delusion, faggot?

>5'5.

Answer me this then. How often to you see a depressed wook?

Yes, because they are delusional. However once you open your eyes to the nature of things, you cannot close them again

the fact that youre thinking of making someone else carry the weight of killing you just shows how much of a waste of space you are. that said, stop being a pussy. man up. your life is shit because of you, but that also means you can fix it if you actually want. if not. kill yourself faggot

Why not look at it the other way user? He has to put up with his parents bad mistake of adding him to the 100 billion people that have ever live. His parents did that for their own fulfilment, so have sympathy.