Tell me a weird story for a good laugh

Tell me a weird story for a good laugh

I killed a nigger once

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I killed a nigger twice

There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, then kill yourself.

i killed a nigger thrice

Op here, fucking loved it

Heat Death can't happen quick enough.

We should think of a way to speed up the process.

I asked out my ex gf out through fb once at like 3 in the morning and claimed I typed it in my sleep the next morning. She believed it. We were together for 3 years after that

another holocaust?

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bad story please kill yourself

Wrong kind of Heat Death, user. But A for effort.

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Here is a weird story for you.

thank you dad

No problem, son. Now go to your room.

Op, I want to die

op tell me a bedtime story

My first and only kiss was from some drunken skank in a nightclub. I was working that night.

well now I have an erection, where do we go from here?

Okay, once there was a man called Op, I just rolled trips. *dab*

inside eachother please

He'll yeah I like this,

Change the last sentence to:
>And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, then kill all blacks and Hispanics before they kill us.

whats your kik bb

This tickles my soul

when I was hitting puberty I once stuck my dick in a shampoo bottle while it was soft in an attempt to masturbate. my dick got hard and stuck in the bottle and it fucked up the base of my dick for life

10/10 would recommend
also it was my parents' shampoo lulz

oh... muh... god

kek

someone give me 10 mil gp on osrs or ill kill my fucking cat i swear to fucking jesus ill eat its ass pipe

HABEEB IT

hey

pics or gtfo

Thanks for 666

666

no u pussy

i want to be cucked more than i want to live please tie me up and fuck my cat in front of me ill do anything to see his ass tear open and the cum spray out the tear

fucking underage spic faggot

Habbeb

killwhitey.jpg

This is a meme now. Weird enough?

trips or rape

this

...

I hate you.

so close u cheezy cunt

prepare that anus

Trips for nudes?

kkkkkk

N0ic3 f33d

roll

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and the ugly people smell like poop and found a way to hurt people while inside the house AND NOT TOUCHING PEOPLE CAUSE IS A LITTLE BITCH AND IS UGLY BUT WANT TO BE BETTER THEN PEOPLE AND THERE UGLY AND HURT PEOPLE WHILE IS OUTSIDE EVEN WORKING AND THE UGLY PEOPLE SMELL LIKE POOP AND IS UGLY AND MAKE UP THINGS SO PEOPLE DONT CALL UGLY PEOPLE UGLY CAUSE IS SMART

poop in me

>be me at 20
>have new gf and looking for a place to fuck for first time
>still living at home, so that is not an option
>she is renting a room and some old ladies house
>old lady is a total bitch, hate going over there
>we start cruising flirting and talking about sex
>I can tell she is getting excited
>she starts giggling, super cute
>like outside the city
>pull into a soon to be construction site for a new apartment complex
>park and leave the radio going
>start kissing
>she is really into it
>she start rubbing cock on the outside of pants
>she undoes my belt and unzips me
>she got my cock in her hand and starts rubbing
>soft gentle feminine touch feels fucking great
>her eyes are a bright blue-green and the look coming from them melts my soul
>she tells me she is getting really wet
>diamonds

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clunt baby

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AND EVEN THO I WRITE UGLY PEOPLE IS OUTNUMBER EVERYBODY LIKE ON TV AND SMELL LIKE SHIT NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND CAUSE UGLY PEOPLE CAN CHEAT AND MAKE PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND CAUSE CAN HURT PEOPLE WITH THERE BRAIN LIKE POPULAR ACTORS TO HELP UGLY PEOPLE NOT LOOK LIKE PATHATIC UGLY DICTATORS

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nigger 66666666666666666

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i gotchu op not greentexting because mobile.

In a fucktown in brazil there were two friends that played a pos online game. One friend borrowed game money and never paid it back causing the other friend to sneak in to his house strangle him. sodomize him and then try and hide the body. the friend wasn't the brightest guy and tried putting the then passed out boy into the attic without a ladder it seemed nearly impossible. until the friend went to the garage and found a hacksaw. he then correlated the idea that cutting off the legs of the friend would cause him to be lighter and maybe then he'd be able to lift him into the attic. he began cutting the friend woke up from his beauty sleep to finding his legs being cut off while he was alive. he screamed and pleaded and passed out from blood loss but it was two late. both legs were amputated. the friend being a billy that he is gave up all hope and left the dead body in the hallway and went home. after being arrested and charged he confessed to everything besides the sodomy because he is not a fgt. the autopsy revealed he was a indeed a fgt. 3 years later he was out of prison for the murder.

sadly this is a true story look up gabriel kuhn pics of his legless body and all haha fuck brazil.

nice feet

The Club Penguin Massacre

One day after school I walked to my local gamestop to buy the latest expansion for club penguin, u see we had just entered warlords of ice berg and the expansion was shitty as usual so they rushed out the next one called the taken iceberg.
The story for this expansion was a group of radical Islamic penguins stole the iceberg, when I enetered the gamestop I saw the manager laying on the ground, I poked him on the belly and said what are u doing you stupid fuck little did I know he was dead!!!!!11!!1111!1!1!1!!111!
Beside him was a note with his username and password for his club penguin account the username was cpman666 and I cant tell u the password that’s illegal so don’t friken ask!
When I logged in to his account I noticed he had already had the latest expansion which is illegal because it comes out in 6 months 6 days and 6 hours, when I selected his penguin named greg666 pt.1

pt 2 I noticed he had a gun which im pretty sure u cant get guns in club penguin and if u can u prob have the sandy hook expansion rumored to release in 666 years so if u have this I will be calling the police because that is illegal.
I went to the night club to see what was good I obviously put the gun in my inventory so I wouldn’t scare the kiddos when I entered I saw a giant satan goose orgy with little penguin babies suspended from the ceiling which ya know that’s pretty normal since the Satanist dlc 3 days ago which I didn’t pirate because that’s illegal. I went over to the big sweaty satan and he grabbed my penguin penis and tore it off little did he know I was a transgender demi queer male so it was a fake penis anyway that my mom gave to me. At about 666 am yes my clock said 666 mutahar my lord and love posted a new episode of haunted gaming I proceded to jerk off for 18 hours until my penis was raw which I just peeled the skin off like a snake and continued for 12 more hours because of the weekly penis regrowth dlc.
But that’s not importaint. I continued to travel the vast world of club penguin with my trusty m4 carbine and my tec 9 hand revolver any penguin I met would soon be deader than disco I found the shady dealer and bot some good good from him allowing my penguin to gain the kush dlc 19.19$ then I turned around in my chair and a black man shot me in the head and I was dead the end.

bumppppppppppppppppppppp

Them butts though...

bimp

I jacked off in a concentration camp historical site

>she leans over and puts my cock in her mouth
>so warm
>she started circling her tongue around my cock
>starting at me with those amazing eyes while she is doing it
>feel like I am gonna nut
>sit her up and take off her shirt and bra
>perky.jpg
>her tits are perfect solid b-cup
>start by putting her nipple in my mouth
>she moans
>dick is so hard
>we make out for a bit more getting heavy
>lay her back in her chair and climb over
>take her pants and panties off
>best tasting pussy, soft and warm
>suck on her lip and she squirms
>she starts getting louder
>she squirts
>so fucking hot
>puts her hand around the back side of my neck and pulls me toward her

>another

I'd typed up some of the background info for this but had a posting problem and I CBA to re-type it, so I'll just leave you with this photo.

you are right there was never one to start sorry i failed u my love

edge. So much edge.

>we are rubbing on each other
>I am willing my cock to penetrate her
>finally slowly slides in
>her eyes!
>she is still fucking wet, warm and she feel so good
>we are fucking really hard, her legs are up over my shoulders
>keep fucking
>”i wanna ride you”
>we switch
>fuck this girl knows what she is doing
>grinding and rotating her pelvis on my cock
>need to cum
>”wanna fuck me outside user”
>fuck ya
>lay blanket from back seat on the hood
>she lays down and I enter her once more
>sogood.webm
>she get loud, really loud
>squirts all over me
>keep fucking her
>cum buckets on her stomach
>hear something

Moar?

>start to get worried
>”maybe we should get back in the car”
>ya think!?
>start packing up, looking for someone around
>feels really uncomfortable, like we are not welcome
>start trying to hurry
>throw blanket in the back and she gets in the car
>start walking around to get in
>see a blue flash of something
>def not the cops
>feel like something is behind me
>turn around and see an old man from the corner of my eye

more please.

aosid aposidupowqd upqwudpa uosd jsgudg

niggerererererererererer

Auyyyyyy

asdasdas

Jjhhhu

asdasdasdas

REPLY TO THIS POST OR YOU WILL NEVER GET A GF AND YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE IN HER SLEEP

niggers are worthless

K

1q3214

666

I killed two niggers once

i killed 9 niggers 42 spics 2 gooks and 19 philipino whores

888

nigger 888

reply

>he looks like he is riding a bike, but only saw it for a second
>dafaq.gif
>dive in car, not even dressed yet
>”we need to go user”
>I am trying
>bitch turns and looks straight through me
>those fucking eyes, fucking scary as hell
>”there is a spirit her user”
>pushing the gas petal, car is not moving
>fucking construction sand
>i feel like i am in some fucking horror movie
>am I gonna have to get out and push?
>finally get car to move
>book it outta there
>we are both quiet the whole way home
>finally manage to chuckle a little when we finally park.
>awkward laugh “so that was interesting”
>she smiles “if you wanna try again, call me”
>she still wants to make plans for another date
>still haven’t called her…

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night matt