Hey Sup Forums. I'm drunk. Retired Air Force para jumper and military contractor with over 10 years of experience...

Hey Sup Forums. I'm drunk. Retired Air Force para jumper and military contractor with over 10 years of experience. Thought I'd share a story.

>Be me
>Making decent salary working as a contractor on a SANDF project in a pretty remote location.
>Things are good user. Some weird stuff happening around work, other than that cut and dry, and good paycheck. Usually get put on daylight patrols, so nothing to spoopy. Enjoy beers with the guys in the little town down the road after work.
>lifes good.jpg
>Here's where things get weird.
>Out patrolling the perimeter one afternoon.
>Partner needs to take a piss. Though we are always at raised security levels things are always super lax in the non-affiliate and AIS zones.
>Wait 15 mins for partner to get back
>Starting to get irritated and radio him directly on the non-secure channel.
>No response.....
>Starting to get late in the afternoon and shift change is coming quick.
>This guy is putting my ass on the line too, and I'm starting to get freaked out.
>Thinking about radioing ACCM, but still dont want to get my buddy in trouble. We spend a lot of time together outside, he's been my best friend for about 6 months now. Also USAF background.

will continue if bumped. Cheers!

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/4Qy7fPGKCNU
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

cont.

>anyway, here's where things start to get weird.
>Dispatch radios out a warning of possible insurgent activity.
>rushofblood.jpg
>No shots fired or actually movement sighted, just suspicious activity.
>Enough is enough, my buddy might be injured, compromised or worse.
>Go to radio dispatch and feel something hard hit me in the back, right at the base of my neck.
>Everything goes dark and I drop.
>Wake up in and out of consciousness for some amount of time.
>I'm being transported and can't really get and idea of what's going on at given point in time. It's like a really weird dream, but I was sure that I was in the hands of our group and everything was going to be fine. I knew I wasnt injured.
>Well while I wasn't hurt, I was dead fucking wrong about where I was and what was happening.

Bump, nigga. Post more.

inb4 aliens
inb4 rednecks
inb4 kkk
inb4 dropped spaghetti
inb4 dinosaur

bump

I called your bullshit.
I'm in the Air Force right now and there is nor never was NO such thing as "parajumper".

go on dude. bump

...

Please go on

That's your evidence that the entire story is bull shit? Because he used lingo that a newfag such as yourself isn't familiar with... Kys

Samefag here.
OP is lying and either creating a story or using some HQ copypasta.
Only the Army has "para jumpers".
This whole thread is a troll.

cont 3niggaaaa

cont

>wake up pretty standard hospital room lacking in equipment.
>Groggy but I get out of bed, now in a set of scrubs, which was weird looking back. Head shaved, no shoes, no injuries.
>Door was locked but there was a nurse buzzer by the door.
> I'm a military dude, so I understand that hitting the buzzer doesn't necessarily mean I will get a response right away.
>I figure I'm somewhere back on the main campus, away from the compound I normally patrolled.
>After getting my bearings back I saw down on the bed and turned on the tv that was built in the wall.
>This was the first clue something was off.
>Like I said before, I was on a SANDF project in a undisclosed location in Central Africa. I was flipping through the tv seeing Madagascar channels, Chinese, Australian, Indian, you name it.
>This wasn't any satellite television either, some antenna level.
>Doctor in wheelchair comes in with two guards.
>Sit up straight expecting to be debriefed and possibly fired.
>Doctor examines me and tells the guard I'm "Ready for staging"
>tf.mov
>Guards escort me out and walk me down some hallways to a super cold interrogation style room.
>Now I'm starting to freak out a bit. Wtf happened to me and where tf am I?

PLEASE shut the fuck up. I am telling you, there has NEVER been "para jumpers" in the United States Air Force. I know this because if he truly was, he would've never used the term "para jumper". He would've called it exactly what the Air Force calls it.

sounds like a fucking movie I've seen...

PJ kid, pararescue. Maybe when you get out of Lackland and get the opportunity to see Hurlburt you will know our lingo. You will probably get stuck working in a shit desk job pushing paperwork though ;)

inb4 dinosaur

stfu faggot. I like the story

Samefag.... then you had to nerve to check me, like I'M not the one IN THE fucking USAF RIGHT NOW. I wish I could beat the fuck out of you in person right now.

Prove or GTFO

Prove it.

Dude don't even fucking reply to me. Like you didn't just Google it.

If you were a true pararescueman, never in your life would you have said "para jumper".

PJs make it known they are PJs.

As a double whammy, if you REALLY are telling the truth, the fucking jokes on you because I know damn well your contractor position will not pay close to mine. Im in the 3D field. What's that? Of course you dont know.

Go patrol around, making less than 50k a year. Waste of a life.

You're in the Air Force, what are you going to do? Hit him with your handbag?

Such pride for being a government pawn.

I just fucking proved it by telling you that ANYONE IN THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE, THAT WAS A PARARESCUEMAN, WOULD HAVE NEVER CALLED THEMSELVES "para jumper".

That is an army term.
They are a type of army grunts. Bullet targets.
The USAF pararescue position is a special operation like the Navy Seals. I promise you he would've told you "I was a PJ in the USAF" or "I was a pararescueman"

Brain washed pawn

no one fucking cares shut up and enjoy the story faggot

You'd never tell that to me in my face.
Never make generalizations like that unless you're joking. There are skinny guys in every Branch but I am not one of these beta man bitches you think you are talking to.

You can't prove something just by contradicting it, asshat.

WHO gives a shit anyway?

1. about to continue story
2. I'm retired USAF
3. PJ stands for para jumper, though we are Pararescue. This is a fact, and also, I used this term to make my position a little more obvious to fags on Sup Forums.
4. Youre enlisted, so suck my dick for life basic. I was academy. Cont story now

Thx my nigga

I'd love to see the idiot threads youd post in /biz/. No money and no knowledge.

I joined to get a bachelor's degree. Then when I get out, I can get ANOTHER or get a masters. All free.

The 100-350k job offer is just bread and butter.

>>he doesn't know "military experience" is a plus on resumes.

Jokes on me, I'm probably arguing with a 13 year old Thai ladyboy.

>
this is now a cringe thread.

No

U really think it's free? The moment the us calls for war ure the first on the planes

Damn it, he's on to us. Ladyboys! FLEE!!!

Like I said, arguing with a 13 year old Thai ladyboy.

It's idiots like you that are first to go vote, not having a fucking clue about nothing.

But I'll help you out and inform you.

Not every one in the "air force" deals with planes.
Not every person in the military goes to war.

Bugger

Why are you so obsessed with money and work? It is all you talk about. Why do you measure your worth in dollars?

OP can you continue the story? Why don't you just ignore these fucks. They're the cancer of Sup Forums and don't care about OC.

Please continue, there are many here who are lurking.

moar

ur a low brain pawn go kill yourself

GTFO you little shit. Nobody wants your shitty opinions here.

Love
Dicky

Not the same guy, if you couldn't tell by the obvious typing differences.

Yes cont..

nah, u absolutely wrong my little usaf nigga. I'm in Europe, 34 years and never voted for a political party.

I want to meet these 13 year old Thai ladyboys... for reasons.

I believe you now. I was just defending our Branch. Salute.

You don't get cool points for going to the Academy though. I KNOW that shit sucked for you. Fucking basic training and tech school for 5 years.

And you're a late 30s early 40 year old man on Sup Forums. Hahaha haha a.


Salutes.

You're an idiot.

There u go, show some respect for oldfags

And you're nothing you cunt

Angriest kid in the sandbox.

STOP BITCHING A FINISH THE FUCKING STORY!

I need this story to end. NOW PLS OP

>see military contractor OC
>somehow ladyboys are involved

ok

Okay, not to start rolling on the hate train, OP, but this is starting to sound a lot like The Manchurian Canidate.

derailing aside, here we go.

>In staging room
>Older man enters and sits down with a clipboard.
>White hair but not that old, wearing civ tac gear, but has a military feel to him.
>"You were involved in an accident son, and I'm going to ask you a few questions to see if everything is alright with you."
>Continues to interview me for about an hour, asking about my experience in the Air Force, my experience with my current outfit. Where I was in life, political affiliations etc.
>"I'm going to cut to the chase here son. You messed up and you messed up pretty fucking bad. I'm glad to say your med and psych tests and background all check out, and you are okay, but you won't be working for (X company) anymore.
>fuck fuck fuck. Despite earlier user's sassy remarks, making nearly 6 figs at this piece of cake job. Outside of US so no Taxes, and living was cheap.
>Man says to me"You knew your clearance,and you knew the risks, and your going to be working with us now. Your not free to walk out the door yet, but you'll see our outfit is a much more competitive one in every aspect."
>Okay.......
>"Come with me, let's get your assignment."

Sorry man when people steal Valor (lie about military service) it makes us that are actually in the military VERY pissed off.

told u i know from a movie...

i live in san diego and we are infested with bubba redneck military shit bags
one guy i know claimed the british army had shittier people than the usa army
have you ever been around the uk army and is it possible to be worse than the shit bags in the usa army

name 1 Australian channel, i bet you cant. also how would you even know they are australian we just play the same shit as the us on repeat.

Insecure much?

I see. Be more patient and try to be more passive before the hole story is out.

Aim High DBA, we both took the same oath.

Salutes

Kiwi TV

Not seeing thai ladyboys figurimg into the story yet but sure

CONT YOU CUNT!

IM sorry man, I can;t name an Australian channel. But as soon as their was a plug for your local news between Jersey shore reruns I could tell that hideous fucking accent anywhere.

Wait, is this about Project Threadstone?

Wow you're a faggot. Don't believe for a second you're in the USAF

ALSO OP IS A FUCKING PARA JUMPER.

Winner!

Not insecure. You're probably overweight, living with your parents, and can't even pass the entrance fitness test, and we have the easiest one of all the branches.

Military brats love the military. You're saying the stuff you're saying because you're not in.

>>inb4 this civilian tells me why he's glad hes not in the military, saying some opinion he thinks is fact with no proof or source

This is the perfect thread theme...
KMAGYOYO
youtu.be/4Qy7fPGKCNU

Thai ladyboys though?

Quit crying about it. You're:
A. On the fucking internet
B. On fucking Sup Forums

No one gives a flying fuck about respecting you for being in the military. Only thing worse than stolen valor people are the roided up military asswipes that run around screaming about it, posting videos and beating people up over it


People idolize military guys, so get off your fucking high horse. You're not a fucking war hero, so no one gives a shit about what you have to say about stolen valor and integrity.


This is coming from a guy who has idolized the military since I was a kid and going to join the military in the next year.

...

Wish I cared. I was just defending my branch. When you join something that has done so much for you, and get off your moms health insurance you might understand.

Fuck you're gay dude... Kys

But who really was the hitman?

I didn't ask for respect at all. I don't even care about the rest of your post. I was defending my Branch and it had nothing to do with you.

Today op was a para jumper.. Wah wah I was defending my branch stfu fag no one gives a fuck

Cock not big enough to provide a good argument for being more than a betafag, trying to ascend to alpha via dollars. Kind of like a whore, pretending that that bj or hj or whatever she did was just as normal as doing a cheeseburger at McDonald's, but with extra gravy and more expensive!

I"ve been in the air force for 3 years now. Over those three years, parajumper was used frequently to describe what op is talking about you gigantic faggot I didn't comethis far to have some punk a 13 year old thai ladyboy btw where the fuck are all the thai ladyboys?

Seriously man, we don't care. Enjoy the story or fuck off.

cont and final

>Follow old man up to assignment.
>"Everyone here is given call names to assure privacy, were a mixed group of folks."
>okay whatever. whereami.gif
>Find out my name is "Hissing Hippo"
>Despite years of weapons, CQC, and high-altitude jump training get assigned to R&D department on base.
>Fight break out there and people go to sick bay every day.
>Everyone speaks a different language and our base is literally a big ass oilrig out in the middle of fucking nowhere.
>Commander of the base keeps bringing back animals in a solid gold helicopter.
>Only met him once hand he put me in his iron grip.
>There was a super hot chick on base though, we all got to see her shower once.

But then who was phone?

Please cont op

You're late bro I already apologized and saluted.

Ugh, so is this thread ruined or do we get story?
Btw I'm in the navy and we have dibs on all Thai ladyboys.

Bump

OP, I still don't understand, where do the thai ladyboys fit into the story?

yep metal gear nice try tho had a laugh

LONGEST FUCKING STORY EVER BRO...Is there any juice at the end?

Shit game but got it.

>> gold helicopter

Guys I'm starting to think that other usaf guy "defending his branch" was right. This shit made no sense.

This is turning into some stupid jj Abrams shit. Maybe even worse.

How does a solid gold helicopter even get enough lift? Huh big guy?

>Only met him once hand he put me in his iron grip.
Did you ask him to "keep up the great work" afterwards?

good shit. man.SNNNNAAAKKKE

You're diamond.