Ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything

Ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything.

Would you send nudes

Got 7 more years until you reach my level, buddy

How is that possible? Do you have a micropenis? are you obese? Ugly? send some pics. Interested

why are you alive?

Too lazy to make some. Have some underwear pics.

>How is that possible?

Autismo

>Do you have a micropenis?

No.

>are you obese?

No.

>Ugly?

Average

What's wrong with you, faggot? Most women are stupid surely you should have been able to find one to plow.

When was the last time you affectionately hugged someone that wasnt a relative/family?

>Most women are stupid

But not _that_ stupid

Women love retards. Quit being a retard, faggot.

How old are you?

19.789 years old to be exact!

Never

Surely you jest. Woman are fucking retarded. Why are they not fucking your retarded ass?

Still can't believe how that's possible. I lost my virginity at 19. She was a 8/10.
I'm also chubby, tiny thin 6 inch dick, kinda assburger's, and also average looking.

When was the last time you held a girls hand? (relatives/family dont count)

This. And when they're drunk they're even easier...

Don't ask me.

I've spent my late teens alternating between nerdy and horribly drunk.

Never

>when they're drunk they're even easier...
Also when they're drugged or dead.

>Don't ask me.

I am asking you you excuse making asshat. Quit making excuses and go fuck a chick! There will be one willing I fucking guarantee it. FUCKING Sup Forums GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE

>There will be one willing I fucking guarantee it

How do I find that one?

Is your name Harry? Because you sure as fuck are a wizard

Tinder, bars, pubs. You name it. Even from your workplace

> assuming I never tried Tinder or hitting on chicks in bars/clubs/parties.

Im in the same boat at OP. I am only 24, but successful with a pretty high reaching future, average looking but fit, aspergers but can kinda hide it/learned to act like normal-ish.

Just when it comes to girls, I cant pick up on their signals. Ive asked 4 girls out so far that I thought really liked me, but all said no (rate around 1/year). And my friends still tease me about that one time I didnt ask a girl out when she was clearly attracted to me (i didnt know/didnt care).

I am retarded at picking up signals. Cant they just get on their knees and give me dog eyes to make things clearer and avoid all confusing? Why do normies act so weird?

>but successful with a pretty high reaching future

I am not. But I am average looking and fit.

>Ive asked 4 girls out so far that I thought really liked me

Have the same problem with overestimating my likability. As soon as a girl smiles, I think she is into me.

A girl went as far as literally semi-hugging me and caressing me in a bar. Asked her out next day

>Sorry, got a bf

Why the fuck were you caressing me then

Yeah, that's bullshit.

How does it feel knowing i'm 18 and had sex two weeks ago?

Grats. I envy you.

Because user, there isn't a single girl out there who's truly loyal. Hit it and quit it if you do ever land a girl

20 and heading the same direction, OP. The problem with me is that im too socially retarded and i dont want to settle for a shit tier whore. I know i could get an insecure bitch easily and fuck her if i wanted to but i never go out and even when i do i dont have any motivation

>I know i could get an insecure bitch easily and fuck her if i wanted to but i never go out and even when i do i dont have any motivation

OP here. Tell me of your secrets.

Too paranoid to do that. Honestly I dread having sex with someone then finding my name on the sex offenders list cause she reported it as rape or some shit

I was like you OP (younger though). Go on a cruise or in a situation where you can say "fuck it I'm never going to see any of these people again" and try to come out of your shell. Get the unlimited drink package and it becomes a great way to get a girl to talk to you.
Met my current gf of a year now on a cruise. I'm gonna marry this girl. There is hope soon

Are you a horribly disfigured mutant?

You can't, upu would've if you could. Trust me.

KEK you neckbeards are no end of amusement. When girls go out they want to have fun and dance and seldom are they thinking about getting with guys. If you can't tell the difference between wether a woman's being friendly or hitting on you it's hardly the girls fault you got zero experience with pussy.

obviously in your neckbeard world it's the woman's fault you're useless at talking to them.

Did you accomplish something you're proud of during the last 10 years?

>or in a situation where you can say "fuck it I'm never going to see any of these people again"

I live in a city with millions of inhabitants so thats's a given. Also, it's about getting somebody to want to see me again.

Well it's a trial that you can most likely win or spending the rest of your life a virgin, OP.

No. Average in any respect.

No. Half-assed my life including my education.

>If you can't tell the difference between wether a woman's being friendly or hitting on you

What's the difference?

That's actually a hood question. Confidence comes from success. And girls like success.

No im just not a nice person or a motivated one. I knew quite a few girls that were into me but i never did anything and they always ended up finding someone else. I could just get drunk and get one but like i said i have no motivation and i only care about fucking. Which is why im considering getting an insecure cunt that wont bother me afterwards

why dont you fuck some hoe, just to loose it?

>What's the difference?

different user here. it's a bad move to mistake friendliness with flirting, if you really wanna start a relationship become friends and move on from there. help them when they need it, be there for them, basically don't be an inconsiderate prick and believe me the time will come when they hop on your dick

What superpowers did you gain upon being endowed as a wizard?

>If you can't tell the difference between wether a woman's being friendly or hitting on you

Dude, this same girl was looking at me like no other girl had before. Like she would look at me from my face to my feet slowly, then back to my eyes...

>OK this isnt something common, right?

Then on another occasion she semi-hugs me and caresses me. I mean, no one has done either of their stuff to me, ever, so you can understand where Im coming from.

I definitely misread shit, but now I am not even sure what signs a girl can send to tell me
>Hi user, I like you
Other than maybe literally getting on her feet and unzipping me.

But even then, I would still not be sure, maybe she just wants to see if my zipper works?

If you want your life to change, here are two things you must find by yourself :

P A S S I O N
A
S
S
I
O
N

& &
&

S E L F
E
L
F

D I S C I P L I N E
I
S
C
I
P
L
I
N
E

shit this was meant for

I just want some casual sex.

Increased arm strength.

But what if a chick, unprovoked, looks down and smiles every time you pass her and plays with her hair? For the last 3 months.

Self-discipline is possible, passion probably not.

Go have sex now and get it done with.

I had my first kiss/sex at 33, so you're not alone.

Trust me, it's a relief the way all that insecurity and alienation you feel towards sex just goes away.

Also, sex is good, but overrated. It's like if you grew up never eating chocolate, and your imagination takes the praise others have for it and blows it out of proportion.

Did you go to a hooker?

do you have any superpowers? can you cast spells? talk to animals?

Its picture time, op.
You gotta post one.
You can obscure your identity if you like, but we, the Sup Forumstards need to know what you look like.

Face

Body

What is the meaning if life?

>looks down
>and
>smiles every time
>and
>when I am passing
>and
>she plays with her hair
>and
>for several months

How the fuck can I catch all these signs in one glance at her? I am already overwhelmed with my senses when I am just walking, never mind walking past a girl, or having to look at her and evaluate her feelings, head position, arm position, add that temporo-spatially and correlate it with me walking by.

Dude your body is definetly not the problem

Not bad

Never claimed it was.

sorry to tell you user but there's almost no woman out there who's just gonna have sex with you upon first sight. unless it's a prostitute. in any case if you reach your 40's without sex then you're better off paying for a whore, preferably an expensive one. wouldn't too many STD's.

Talk to as many women as you can. You can only tell by experience of which you have none.

Look you seem genuine so I'm gonna give you some advice my nigga.

I'm 34 oldfag and I've fucked like 300 women, I don't know how many exactly so I've learned a thing of two but still get caught out now and again so you gotta know there's no exact science to this but here's my guide to being an absolute king of the gash.

You sound like you got zero confidence which at your age you shouldn't be giving a fuck. When I was 17/18 and first started going to night clubs we'd have a group of us and we'd play the blown out game.

This is like conditioning for your self confidence, you go up to a girl try the cheesiest line or sexually aggressive line to see how big a reaction you could get from a girl. The winner usually had a drink thrown over them.

After a while being able to walk into a group of girls is just easy all you need to do is not spurt autism everywhere. That I can't help you with, you sound like you're fucked in that department. Something you can however do is hang out with guys who are genuinely good at charming women and study the way they talk.
I'm by no means tall or good looking but I guess I got nice eyes so when girls tell me I have nice eyes I give them a cheeky grin and tell say "they're alright, but they're nothing on the eyes I'm looking at" from there I can predict the rest of the conversation as it goes one of three ways. I know this from talking to as many girls as possible in my 20's

Dress well, it doesn't matter what style you go for but you gotta own it. If you got a beard get it in shape, if got a 6 o'clock shadow keep it neat and for the love of god have regular haircuts.
If you look good, you'll feel good and the confidence goes up

As for closing the deal I'd try running before you can walk. You ain't even gonna get near that pussy until you can converse with its owner.

Your goal for now op is to get a date.

KEK that's how you saw it. The rest of the bar I'm betting saw something completely different.

I find it odd that no girl has ever expressed interest in you.
We can be dominant, when necessary.

just forget about the bitches bro,
your main quest for now is to find something you truly enjoy doing, then have fun while doing it and somehow the magic of life will bring you a gf

>This is like conditioning for your self confidence, you go up to a girl try the cheesiest line or sexually aggressive line to see how big a reaction you could get from a girl. The winner usually had a drink thrown over them.

I did this on my own when drunk enough. To convince myself that I don't give a shit.

>all you need to do is not spurt autism everywhere

Yeah. That's the problem. I've never had any issue walking up to girls and (deliberately or unintentionally) being a retard. Not being a retard is an issue.

I enjoy climbing, running, reading, cooking, vidya.

Post a picture of yourself I wanna see what the deal is looks wise.

52 and kissless virgin im dead inside

that can't be true

Maybe it's time to go in a monastery now... but wait, priests have more sex then you!

...

here

I never been able to talk to women and when i did i would always end up OG friendzoned it killed me everytime i watched a girl i thought i could have something with fuck around with a bunch of shit guys then end up in a loveless marriage while im here alone with my dog

timestamp+pic of eldery hand or fake&gay

Im not here to impress you young cunts just telling you my story

how does it feel to lie on the internet?

OP here. Bump

Sounds like you need a wingman

Don't even have friends at the moment.

Where are you from, OP? Do women just not exist where you live?

Germany. Lots of women around.

bump

Fuck "Signs". Seriously, these signs are given off by girls unconsciously. Therefore, they are not there to be consciouly analyzed by you but to be recieved by your subconscious.

Learn to listen to your gut.

If it tells you a girl is into you - she is.

If it tells you to kiss a girl - do it.

if it says that now is the time to whip out your dick - do it.

It's not easy. I'm somewhat in your position, but just letting go and trusting my own instincts has gotten me further in a month than overthinkig and believeing there is some sort of manual in years before.

The only things you consciously need to do are:

A) Talk to girls (doesn't matter where/when/about what)
B) Suppress your flight reflex. And believe me, it'll kick in hard once you feel that you're getting closer to a girl. Whatever you do, DONT RUN AWAY, stay with her and make a move so you know whether it's a"Yes" or a "No".