You're on your bed

>you're on your bed
>it's summer in a suburban neighborhood
>your girlfriend just left you
>you know you gotta move on now

>you're in your car
>it's night on a long winding road
>she never came back
>you never moved on

>new years eve
>your on the way to your buddies house
>you're already kinda drunk
>looking forward to the next year but also somewhat nostalgic for the last one

forgot pic

>you go back to school
>you start doing better for yourself
>you see her riding your bike
>your getting older

>you go back home
>scroll through your social media feed
>realize it's all futile bullshit
>look back at relationships and how meaningful they rly were
>cry
>contemplate suicide

>everything reminds you of her
>everyone is her in the distance
>everything reminds you painfully

>you're sitting on your porch
>2 AM, summer night
>2 months after bad breakup
>still haven't moved on
>proceed to dwell over the past

>you woke up at 11am on a saturday but haven't gotten out of bed in 3 hours
>the room is lit by sunlight through the closed blinds
>lay in bed imagining scenarios from the past, but with better outcomes
>finally get up and take some drugs

>it starts to rain
>go out onto the porch and watch

>You got pussy through your chest
>You die

>you're in love again
>you're marching hand in hand
>the water levels are rising up

>I simply fucking hate all the shit that society and pseudo intellectuals say I should do.

>I don't give a shit about gigantic boring as fuck paid by the word Victorian novels or trivial as fuck of their time ranting Russian novels or motivational speaker tier edgy philosophers who would never get away with their shit today by the same pseuds who praise them so much. And I can't believe that late 20th century PoMo has managed to be worse than all that came before, but I'm supposed to worship that as well.

>This isn't 800 AD anymore. The pseuds pretend that wanking over the Greeks and Bible is 95 % of what an intellectual is. They never acknowledge anything that isn't academised. They note STEM as a trivial footnote while using it as a launching pad for their own contemporary flailing about within the infinitely large unfalsifiable space of ideas.

>I don't care about psychology, macroeconomics, psychiatry, the Education system, wars in far away places, and lots of other stuff.

>Life truly does end after university. Every fucking issue is sent through the prism of universities these days. Humanities and social sciences are all bullshit and they try to monopolise so much common sense and twist it. Of course you can't say that and society will defend them.

>I am not entertained by TV shows, video games, or movies any more. Novels are mostly narcissistic barely disguised memoirs.

>The working world is 1 % intelligence and 99 % a test of normality.

>Women have lives on easy mode. People actively hate introverts. University prestige is the main factor for success in life. Most of culture is now too ephemeral to have any significance at all. Travelling is the new alternative to reading big books. Coffee is wagie fuel. I lift heavy weights but I can admit it's a sign of betaness. Working is horrific.

>Guys, intellectually I'm all spooked out. I can't stand philosophy because of all the unfalsifiable garbage. Many fields like economics etc are just applied common sense and stamp collecting. I see novels as nothing but entertainment despite pretentious people claiming life / philosophical insights and tonnes of people will consider you a disgusting plebeian if you don't initially read shitloads of boring as fuck canon novels.
>I think I am painfully adapting to the idea of the Internet age / information overload by abandoning any pretension that I can be an all rounder or even dilettante in everything.
>Has anyone else had similar thoughts? The spooks are powerful and must be removed but their removal leaves your mind in a promordial state that is more susceptible to spooks than before.
>I go to the city centre and see people shopping and the streets are busy, which is comforting compared to when they're empty, but walking through then brings no epiphanies.
>And obviously I have an existential crisis but society is fucking pathetic in demanding that anyone who has one should immediately "grow up" and become a monotheist and wageslaving. I fucking hate wageslaving. Seeing attractive young people is humiliating. I tell myself every day that I'll soon work intensely on one thing but I can't bear to do this. If you're really good at one thing then there are people lining up to call you a tard for not watching opera or being able to run a marathon or whatever shit. So I do nothing.
>Every "thinker" is at their core an utter fucking fraud. Nietzche is a Tony Robbins tier Rorschach test. Science and mathematics provide non trivial insights but only in ultra specialised ways that probably require autism to appreciate. I listen to In Our Time podcasts and Bret Easton Ellis podcasts and I think at heart everyone cares about nothing more than social drama.
>Apart from money, health, and time, there are very few non trivial concept.

Fuck

>You have no idea what's going on

Are you okay, man?

gay

t-t-thats not how I spend my mornings at all desu

ouch

>it's been over two years since you broke up with her
>you've slowly grown completely numb
>you don't love anyone anymore
>you still listen to new music but it never reaches you the way it used to

kek'd

stop these

don't stop these
it's a good way to discover new shit

no I mean the breakup shit

agreed

how could any of those be new to you?

well i'm waiting for new ones
you never know

>you still listen to new music but it never reaches you the way it used to

Fucking this, please tell me I'm not the only one

Not even to do with breakups I'm just rarely in the mood to be enjoying new sounds

You might be going through an apathetic period. I'm in one.

yeah, it can come and go, nothing really to worry about.

>you've accepted that you're never going to "make it" socially and have long since retreated to solitude, having made no lasting impression on anybody you've ever met
>you have family who love you but not much else for lasting company
>you feel an emotional wall between yourself and any lasting connections you made before you gave up, having mainly bonding over shared interests
>opening up to any of them would probably lead to a trip to the nuthouse
>you've been in your shell so long you forget what you were like before

>you still have smouldering traces of a will to connect to somebody on a romantic or even just a friendly level, but no way of meeting them and nothing to talk about if you did
>you wouldnt know what kind of person would settle with somebody like you even if you could

Perfect

>I literally couldn't care less for anyone
>The world is a big mess and there is no one that can actually see that
>and what am I doing here gibbering shit like and old man?
>I have a shitty job, but it's nice to go to that place and feel alive for a second when I see people doing the things they like
>Sex is just fucking without meaning
>there is nothing I can do to help, and we all die knowing that
>I'm sad but that's common for a saturday night

you need an album to go with it

BECAUSE ITS JUUUUUNE
TWEEENTY FIIIIRST