S/fur

s/fur

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Hi

Hey.

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Hey Diesel.

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Howdy. How're you?

Pretty shitty, how about you?

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About the same

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that looks pretty gay to me

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How's it goin?

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Awful, how about you?

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I'm doin pretty good, just got a copy of the next book in a series that I really enjoy.

Why you doin awful?

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It's a long story. Basically, I've had my eye on one person for about 8 months now. They were waiting on someone else to turn 16 so they could be together. Turns out their birthday is this weekend, so they're probably going to fuck. It makes me very sad because I truly love this person. I wanted to be the person to take their virginity.

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Ah, been in that kind of situation before or at least pretty close. I ended up cutting it off, I regret nothing. It helped tbh, was a pretty toxic thing I think. Have you considered something like that? They don't sound very interested

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They like me quite a bit. They say I'm not the right type in terms of personality, but I hide my true self, even in text. I know what they want.

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Do you feel Christmas in the air?
I can't wait

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You shouldn't have to do that, hide your personality. I used to do that, not much anymore though. You should just be yourself

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Kek

I know I should. But it's hard. I hate myself. For fucks sake, I can't even force myself to say "him" because I'm a fucking faggot in love with another dude, and I hate myself for it.

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Yeah you do sound like a faggot, real gay men are proud of who they are.

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Any kind of pride in something out of one's control is stupid. I have no reason to be proud of myself, and all the reason to be ashamed of myself.

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It is hard, I know. Not many people would say it is, but it is. There's nothing wrong with being a faggot and some good advice right now would be to reflect. Find what makes you YOU, what experiences made you the way you are. You might hate yourself because of your past and you have to come to terms with that

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You have control over how you handle what's given to you in life, and you clearly don't have anything to be proud of because you act like a faggot crying about your situation, stop acting like a faggot, be proud of not acting like a faggot despite being gay, THROW THE VICTIM COMPLEX OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW.

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Beat your thoughts to the mould of your will.

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I can't come to terms with it. Never. I was abused in multiple different ways throughout my whole childhood. They made me hate myself and everyone else, stabbed me in the back when I was just a child. They permanently damaged me. I can never forgive them.

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I'm not gay. I'm bi, and I hate it as much if I was gay. And I'm not crying for attention. Someone asked how I was, and I told them the truth. That's not being a crying faggot.

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Diesel? As in diesel wolf? I know you. You shaved your beard today

What the fuck?

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There's your first problem. You can't blame other people for being the way they are. No one can ever "damage" anyone, the change the way you think. It's human nature, to do what you know how to do. But what you can do is this: Remember, never forget, always forgive. I can say that I was sexually a bused as a child. Until recently, I hadn't told anyone and that was a mistake. It was having to admit that it happened and it changes you, it really does change you. But you can't let it rule your life, you can't let it affect the way you perceive yourself. Trust me

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Bullshit. I was abused enough for my sweet, sensitive personality to become a jaded, cold prick. If that's not damaging then I don't know what is.

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>I'm not gay
Irreverent.
>And I'm not crying for attention
Still crying though, your attitude needs some serious adjustment, I suggest pic related, your give a shit meter is off the charts, turn that shit down and tell more people to fuck off, including any part of you feeling "ashamed"

How old were you when it happened?