So I know this is really messed up, but lately I've been fantasizing about having a stalker

So I know this is really messed up, but lately I've been fantasizing about having a stalker.
I've experienced such total emotional abandonment from my spouse who is a narcissist and potential functioning sociopath, that I've been really longing to feel...longed for.

Don't get me wrong, my husband is a great guy (attractive, intelligent, talented), but all he cares about in life is success and earning money and looking successful. There are no hugs, kisses, touches, "I love you's, or "how was your day's?" It's left me feeling unwanted, depressed, and drained.

I'm young and good lucking. Currently enrolled in school full time (going for BSN or NP) and am basically a full-time mom to our 10 month old daughter.

I would never cheat or want any harm to come to my daughter, yet I have these sick fantasies about being watched. Sometimes I will walk quickly past the living room in my negligee even though I know there are blinds missing and someone in the apartment parking lot could see me.

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Don't know if you're familiar with a You Tuber named Tana Mongeau, but when I listen to videos about her stalker experience I feel jealous. It's so weird. For the record,

I live in Chattanooga TN, and commute to school in North Georgia.

I suppose it also has something to do with my need to be controlled. I am highly sexually submissive. My spouse doesn't really fulfill this because we never really have sex anymore because if I make some small mistake like make a "C" or get behind on laundry we won't talk/be intimate sometimes for weeks on end.

reporting for duty

what do you mean, make a "C"?

I'm school. If I make a C on a quiz or something he will be disgusted with me. Because part of looking successful is having a successful, smart wife.

Where do I find you, stalker-san?
Won't you keep a lonely girl company?

the best way to get stalkers is to become involved with someone and abruptly cut ties with them after having given them your address and personal information

but that would mean I have to give someone my address...that doesn't just pop up in casual conversation

is this you?

hmm, i really do think that if you go looking, you will eventually find one

All pictures I post are me
it kind of defeats the purpose if I beg for one hehe

He punishes you for laundry and grades by not giving you sex?

bump

I kind've get you but I'm more looking for a relationship in which my girlfriend obsesses over me everyday like I obsess over every girl. I want them to text me as soon as I wake up with "Hey handsome. I thought about you last night" I've never met a girl who cared about me that much and probably never will. (I think I'm a 1/10 but every girlfriend I've ever had says I'm just putting myself down.)

he's not aroused by my failures. He's also highly suspicious and paranoid. I spilled ice cream or something in his car once and he was convinced it was semen and that I cheated on him. I begged to take a polygraph but he said no. If baby has a slip (just learning to walk now)and bumps her head, he will be convinced that I am abusing her to get his attention. I don't understand why he married me if he thinks I am such a despicable person. Or maybe he doesn't and it is all part of his manipulation.

in my experience of abusing women ive dated, letting go of restraint when being suspicious is part of my sociopathy. completely knowing and understanding the unlikelihood of these paranoid accusations ever being true, yet screaming or arguing with her over them as if she had actually done them was a way of satisfying myself.

that's totally understandable. But good luck finding that, I feel like many people only want to receive that kind of devotion and not give it.

does it matter if he's really ugly?

What does he ultimately want? Should I cry and beg forgiveness? Act unaffected by it or laugh/roll my eyes at his stupid accusations?

It wouldn't matter because he shouldn't be seen. Wearing disguises/masks, or small glimpses behind tinted glass, far away watching, in cars, at night masked by the dark etc.
we are all ugly in some way

Yeah, I've discovered that but if a girl loves me and shows it, I'd do anything for her because even in the household I grew up in, it was closer to living in a house with 3 friends. We never did the whole kissy huggy thing and I just feel like something was taken from me then that I need back now.

I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. Maybe look for a girl that was in a similar family environment or prior abusive relationship? Sounds a little messed but she will be craving the attention

the best bet is to keep it together until you can make an accurate determination if things are going to get worse or not, and then bring in a mediator. if i was him and knew i HAD to have therapy, id prefer it to be someone to come to our home to take off from the burdon of having to go anywhere to talk about my problems which i may or may not at that time even admit exist. emily and i made it three years until i finally hit her(not during sex). she had given me reason to be suspicious, but spent a long time proving that she had just made one mistake, and did anything to make up for it. people do make mistakes, i dont know if you have or not, but i know that eventually, it can get worse, and usually only someone from an outside part would be the best bet to help him realize what hes doing, and what effect it can have on the future. once the wedding vows are spoken they must be upholded. his job is to love you to matter what, and in the bible it says that man is to protect woman. scaring you away or emotionally abusing you is not what he is meant to do.
-meklin

Yeah, I've got to work on my appearance and personality though. I'm a pretty well educated person, straight A's through high school, I care a lot about anything anybody wants to talk to but I'm also the most introverted, socially inept person on the planet. I assume everything will work out though.

S-Stalker-san...are you out there? Should I post my address?

I was a huge introvert with no social skills also. This is cliche advice but you really have to just put yourself out there. I will think to myself "what will happen, will I die? If they laugh at me will it really matter? Will they even remember tomorrow?"

then again to get over my intense social anxiety I decided to become a stripper for a little while. So my methods are a bit...but hey, it worked for me.

I would be a stripper but there isn't a huge market for out of shape male strippers, is there?

no for straight women, I don't think so. We females really do have it easy in that regard I'll admit that.

President, and the rest is a great day out with a few minutes to any other information you have any questions or comments only the highest quality Japanese, I will be able to get the most popular properties in my job file view of the year

You're a cunt. You're getting bored, so your brain wants to fuck around with your life. Good relationships are boring and bad relationships are exciting. You knew what your husband was like before you got married and you still decided you'd be okay with that forever. Instead of inventing drama, how about you work on some skill. Go fucking rock climbing, or something. The fuck do you need sexual attention to have any self-worth for? There are more important things than having people around you that want to fuck you, you vapid piece of shit.

wat

To be honest with you and your business is going to be able the same way as the other side effects and a bit like to know about it is not rated yet but I'll have been trying for sale at work or not the case of any available voucher codes for January at least

he was totally different when we were dating/engaged. He admitted that after he 'got me' the 'chase was over'. I have zero time for hobbies I am a full-time student, basically a full-time mom as well, and I do all the cooking and cleaning.

mmmmmmmmmm

imgur.com/a/lNDI9

my birthday is in January

Shit changes when the career starts, when you have kids, and when you're in school. If you weren't prepared for that, you weren't really ready for a relationship. The chase is literally over. Now he's chasing his career. Are you so narcissistic that you need to be the center of your husband's focus to the exclusion of all else? There's apparently a lot of shit going on in both your lives. Why do you need to add drama to that? You each have your fucking role and you still get Cs. You're not holding up your end. Stay in your fucking lane, or crash.

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but like he doesn't even want to talk to me for a week, I really don't think that's normal married or not. You must not have kids. She will cry if I look at anything but her. She will only sleep on the boob. It makes studying a bit difficult. Yet I still make great grades overall

okay well...I don't have any idea what you're on about user
but

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