Sup Forums I'm going to bed

Sup Forums I'm going to bed
Please can you tell me a bed time story

Once upon a time, one English woman went on hunger strike to protest about something that was dear to her.
Nothing much happened to that, but she received dozens of love declaration from Irishmen.
La fin.
Sleep well user.

In 1845, people in Ireland no longer owned most of their land. The Irish countryside, with its green pastures and wonderful farmland, had been turned into English plantations.

Land-owning Irishmen, who worked for themselves, had become English tenants. “Penal Laws,” which governed the conduct of Irish Catholics, restricted a man’s ability to manage his family’s affairs.

To Irish potato-growing land renters, the potato was both food and cash. Part of the crop was sold to pay the rent and buy what families needed. The rest of the crop fed the family. Tenant farmers had little, if any, crop diversity.

A plant disease, called “Late Potato Blight,” ruins potato crops every year and severely impacted the Irish potato crop in 1845. Only potatoes were adversely affected, but famine became widespread.

News of the crop failure was first reported on September 9, 1845. No one could have predicted that report was just the first episode in a years-long tale of national misery.

Unable to pay rent, thousands of families were evicted from their dwellings. Poor houses were filled beyond capacity. Mansions of the wealthy were flooded with needy, starving, homeless families.

Some of the evicted, with no place to go and little to eat, tried to shelter their families by living in holes dug in the Irish bog. Others constructed scalpeen inside abandoned, roofless houses. Millions of people died or fled the country.

Fin

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

Quid fecit tibi stupri irrumabo dicunt animae meae parum canis? Iam faxo scias lectus caput meum genus in classe signaculis et iam plura arcana involvit Al Quaeda populationes et confirmavit super CCC necat. Crocodilus militiae exercitatum et ego sum in toto vertice US militum pellentesque. Tu mihi nihil aliud signum. Delebo te irrumabo cum praecisione similia quæ numquam visa sunt super terram, verbis meis attende in stupri. Putas me posse in stercore quod egredietur de Internet? Cogita iterum irrumator. Sicut contingentes arcanum meum locutus sum: exploratores estis trans USA et IP network of ordo est, ita nunc te, melius parandam hiems, vermibus. Deleo misellus exiguus vocas tempestate tua. Vestibulum stupri mortuum malit haedo. Possum quoquam quisquam, et interficiat vos septingenti super vias, et ultricies nuda manu. Non sum admodum exercitatum inermes pugna, et Civitatibus Foederatis Americae accessum ad totum Marine arma sua amplitudine, et illam miseram extergere asinum facie continenti parum stercore. Utinam potuisset scire nefas retributionem vestram "callidus" comment erat detraham te forsitan lingua habuissent vestri stupri. Tu non fecisti, nunc tibi solvit pretium, malique ineptus es. Ego cacas in ira super vos et ero vobis in obruent illam. Tu fucking mortuis, Kiddo.

once upon a time i got dubz

PLEASE STOP I JUST WANT A NICE BED TIME STORY ;-;

no but i did

STOP

no i did

But it's 4pm...

What about my story (first post) ? Was it not good ?

NO IT NEEDS TO BE NICE!
And long

When I was a young boy

I'll show you something long and nice then
*unzip dick*

Don't tell anyone this but I'm a fairy. Nobody knows you see because I never transform around other people. My name is Pixie and I am a green fairy. You see in the fairy tribe I come from they have three different types of fairies: the purple fairy, the green fairy and the yellow fairy. The purple fairies are the queen fairies the fairies that live inside the Queen fairies castle. The green fairies are just normal fairies and the yellow fairies are people such as nurse fairies etc...


I am glad I am a green fairy because I get to do whatever I like and I have a really nice fairy house inside a giant mushroom. I usually transform at night when nobody is around. I started transforming into a fairy one day when I was about 9 and I think it was because I ate this crab apple and you're not supposed to eat them! I am 11 now so that was 2 years ago. Now that I'm a fairy it gives me the ability to fly around which is great because at night I go to all my friends houses and check that they are okay.

Sometimes if they are having trouble getting to sleep or they are feeling ill or anything I use my magic to help them. The house I go to most often is Amie's house because she's my best friend.

There are three different types of magic: the healing magic (that helps people), the touchstone magic (that makes things appear and disappear) and come along magic (that brings you anything you want.


This is my friend Ee-oor he is a little pocket dragon not like his cousins who are Wedge dragons (this means they are big and purple!) or like his other cousins who are minute dragons (this means they are almost invisible!)

Anyway I just thought you might like to know a few things about what it is like to be a fairy.

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME

like BBC?

Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold.

Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say... it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help.

The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiin sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in.

He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue.

Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiin happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie.

Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope.

He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body.

Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in.

"Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently-behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

-- Introibo ad altare Dei.

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called up coarsely:

-- Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful jesuit.

Solemnly he came forward and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding country and the awaking mountains. Then, catching sight of Stephen Dedalus, he bent towards him and made rapid crosses in the air, gurgling in his throat and shaking his head. Stephen Dedalus, displeased and sleepy, leaned his arms on the top of the staircase and looked coldly at the shaking gurgling face that blessed him, equine in its length, and at the light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak.

Buck Mulligan peeped an instant under the mirror and then covered the bowl smartly.

-- Back to barracks, he said sternly.

He added in a preacher's tone:

-- For this, O dearly beloved, is the genuine Christine: body and soul and blood and ouns. Slow music, please. Shut your eyes, gents. One moment. A little trouble about those white corpuscles. Silence, all.

He peered sideways up and gave a long low whistle of call, then paused awhile in rapt attention, his even white teeth glistening here and there with gold points. Chrysostomos. Two strong shrill whistles answered through the calm.

-- Thanks, old chap, he cried briskly. That will do nicely. Switch off the current, will you?

I'd just like to interject for moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called Linux, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.
There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called Linux distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux!

I hate you all

This story is nice Why don't you thank Sweden for telling you a nice story about fairies?

There once lived a Canadian, who loved to roleplay.
He shitposted on the board, every day.

One day people got fed up with his shit.
So they then threw him into the fighting pit.

"Why, me? I did nothing", he pleaded.
"Enough out of you!", they said

The gates lifted, revealing a rugged runt,
"Oy mate, it's time to glass this cunt!"

The Aussie, riding a 'roo cocked his 'rang
The battle has begun, and the gun went bang

As they toiled and rumbled, the king watched near
King Dr daot ret triumphantly shouted, "Good show, my dears!"

The aussie cornered the canadian, surely he was dead
but then the canadian started shouting words, much to the Aussie's dread.

">tfw no gf, ANOTHER day wasted", he repeated,
"STOP SHITPOSTING, YOU LEAF!", the Aussie pleaded.

">tfw 22 year old loser, never graduated and a virgin"
Hearing this, the Aussie was surely at his wit's end

His began foaming at his mouth, his legs started to tremble
"FUCK YOU LEEEEAAAF" and so the aussie's body disassembled

Thank you for the nice story sven
Good night
I want to know more about minute dragons desu

Thank you RPC

I'm actually not him desu, he wouldn't be able to come up with that

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Shrek is love" I say; “Shrek is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s Shrek
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “This is my swamp.”
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says “It’s all ogre now.”
>Shrek leaves through my window
>Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

>implying there is more than one Canadian poster

>she is getting married in 2 months

Bit gay this

GOD DOESN'T EXIST, NAY SAY OBLIGATORY ULYSSES ODYSSEUS - TRAVEL AND DINE WITH THE DROWNED WOMEN, CITY, THE CITY, MY CITY. O' LEFT YONDER, TORN ASUNDER, THE MULTITUDE OF SCALE-SKINNED HORSES AND THE GORED BODIES OF THE CHILDREN. FORGET THE NIGHT, DANCE IN THE ASHES.

lmao'd

forgives Italian, I'm Poland.
I come to study clothing and fashion at the Italian University. I'm here a short time and I am the very difficult stress. I'm gay too, and this is very difficult for me, I am very religious person. I never act to be gay with other men before. But after I am in Italy six weeks I'm with my friend he is gay too. He was showing me the Italian fashion and then there are kiss.
Wwe sex together. I never before have I to tell my mother about gay because they are very ashamed. As I Fock this Italian guy is very good for me, but even I'm feeling so guilty. I feel extreme guilt as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I take my phone and call Mother in Poland. she gets up. It 's too late to stop so I'm Cumming sex. I'm very upset and guilty and cry, then his scream, "I AM CUM sex" (in Poland). You said what? I say "I AM CUM sex" and she say boy, do not you get married Italian girl, and I say "NO ARE CUM sex with the man, I'm in ASS, I cum in her ASS" and my mother was very angry at me. You do not get scared though.
Hanging up the phone and I'm very embarrassed. My friend also he is very embarrassed. I'm guilty and I feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I have with the gay man? But I keep because when splashing feels very well in Italian Job.

once serbian ufos abducted my cousin