Sup Forums, could you beat a Kangaroo in fight?

Sup Forums, could you beat a Kangaroo in fight?

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Only if I don't get kicked, once you're kicked then you're fucked.

So, probably.

Unlikely. Look at the cunts arms. You're fucked either way.

why's that roo so jacked

Relieve

Because they are fucking monsters. Most Kangaroos are jacked.

Most Kangaroos are small Cunts.
So I'm gonna go with yeah.

The big ones, they don't normally hop right up and attack. There'll be a pause as they get balance on their Tail to kick.
Still pretty quick, but not as quick as say someone spear tackling you. So you should be able to notice when you've pissed one off and it's going to attack.

Their legs will fuck you,
But I'm a tall cunt, So i reckon i got reach on them.
Should be alright.

Why this kangaroo look like he just served 5 years in county

Um, dude, have you seen what they're actually kicking you with? They have fucking knife feet. Those kicks straight up disembowel you.

I consider myself a reasonably capable person, but my knife tolerance is pretty fucking low.

They don't punch, they kick.

And yes I could. With relative ease.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=hGsFdh1SPOA

Where is the gift of that guy knocking one out? Also saw the news store of the guy saving his pupper by decking the kangaroo. I kek'd.

>implying your reach is longer than a kangaroo's kick and that you can reflexively spear it faster than it could kick you
Nobody likes a bogan, mate. Go have a beer and some Macca's. You cunts couldn't even beat a bunch of emu.

See

Fuck that I'd rather go toe to toe with a cassowary

Anyone here who actually thinks they could take a roo like the one in the picture is delusional

One single kick will fuck your shit up.

And you will die slowly without medical care

Kicks ain't the only thing you gotta worry about though dude. Their claws are pretty damn formidable too, and they're strong as hell. All muscle, kangaroos.

He gets his hands on you, he'll rip you to shreds. Claw you up, kick you with his knife-feet, spill yer guts. rip and tear

Emu are 20 times more dangerous han kangaroo. An emu damn near disemboweled Johnny Cash if he had been alone it probably would have killed him.

See this damn things? Rip and tear, rip you to shreds.

This. People seem to think Roos are fluffy and cuddly. They are fucking giant assholes.

I could beat a kangaroo in a fight. I would just teleport behind it

Yes, I could beat a stupid kangaroo.
They congregate in mobs with 1 alpha male to fuck all the females. The only big, muscular ones like in the pic are that alpha male, and even then, not every mob has a dude like that in charge.
The average kangaroo, a female that weighs 30kg, I would fuck her shit up.
Those big alpha's have two weapons - the kick which has been known to gut hunting dogs, and they also choke each other out. Both easily avoided by a male human in his prime who knows anything about kangaroos.
Fuck, I really want to fight a kangaroo now and test my medieval hand to hand combat skills

And try to strangle you. as anyone see that video with that guy who straight up punches a roo to save his dog?

...

I have a webm here of a roo choking another roo unconscious but I can't upload it, it's over the size limit

Yeah, but this was the Australian military. Fuckers had LMGs.
Look it up.

Nvm
      That was an ostrich

mega it or some shit

...

You think kangaroos have to fight for thier right to party, or do people just let them party anytime because they're intimidated?

these fuckers kill more people than roos, emus and ostriches combined

whys the puppper's got flourescent blood?

yea that vid is sick.
He punches a it and the Roo just give him a "you wot m8" look and then the bloke legs it.

scaling it down now... (old computer, it's taking a while to process)
But it looks pretty similar to what this roo is trying to do to the dog

Yes, I've heard they can be much more aggressive than emu's, and they attack not just with their feet but with their bony head. Shorter than an emu but almost as heavy, they're heavy, thick-set bird

That Roo hardly gives a fuck when the bloke hits him

>knife tolerance
>my sides are in orbit

What kind? A red roo I wouldn't fuck with I rather not be disemboweled/drowned

While I believe that you believe that

>Though many humans have been seriously injured by cassowaries, there is only one recorded fatality.

>on average 7 peole are killed every year by ostriches

This guy did

youtube.com/watch?v=2b26bi1wDVY

Honest question. Who would win between a kangaroo and a platypus?

Fuck it, here's one roo strangling another, jewtube

youtube.com/watch?v=Jt1C9qmuh_g

Ostriches are dicks, my neighbor had two and they kept jumping the fence and attacking cars

It's not blood. It's a chest guard to protect from the boars they were actually hunting.

If they were my neighbors they would have had two dead ostriches

l was talking to someone about the time that l sparred a kangaroo yesterday and then l see this thread. wow.

...

They're really not that strong, just don't let them kick you. See here;youtube.com/watch?v=Uca_CKuTHQc

If you just charge the fucker and beat the shit out of it in close range it can't do anything at all.

...

Did you win?

>And yes I could. With relative ease.

it was an even spar the kangaroo was hopping around and landing jabs l was trying to dodge them having fun but then l gave it a right hook to the face and it's neck didn't even move. l ran for my life and it hopped after me jumped a couple of fences off of the property farm and ran for about 2 miles. it looked like it was going to hop kick me in the stomach so l ran for my life

As a male human.
I could crush that shit excuse for a bucket too.
I just don't because I'm not a disrespectful prick.

and they kinda slap you when they jab but we both wore gloves

>miles

l have been Americanised from all the propaganda

Yes, I'd grab a blunt object to you use as a weapon. As a human I have the capability to use tools and dont see why that shouldn't count.

>As a male human.
>implying there are kangaroo posters in this thread

>implying the australian posters aren't kangaroos because the humans/abbos over there still can't read or write

remember thats thing is like 5 ft standing at its tallest..... come on

I have read everything in this thread with an Australian accent

You would be correct

get your head out of the ground man

Good point.

careful, you'll start the fucking furries off.

Australia still casually uses miles, feet, pounds, and pints.

Who can't use a pint every now and then?

to be fair the kangaroo in the video is a juvenile

>Every now and then
You mean every half hour on the half hour all day everyday roit?

Could you...?

I have an 82" reach, so its basicly a matter of do I get tired of punching this thing in the face before he gets tired of getting hit in the face. I suspect I would knock it out though.

>all that feces all over the ground
do kangaroos really live in their own shit?
or do ausfags have roo farms lol?

It's probably also a matter of getting tired of getting kicked in the fucking face.

I said that you faggot

so you are saying that one of your arms is almost 7 feet long? Let me guess your dick is also 7 feet long

Never mess with a big red. I mean you might actually beat one... but the risk is that your bowel is on the ground. Not worth the effort.

You dont know how to measure reach do you

youtube.com/watch?v=Bb9K_HUnu2k&feature=youtu.be

YOU getting kicked in the face
youtube.com/watch?v=WCcLMNcWZOc
2:50++

Yes, because
>I will use anything I can get my hands on to beat that fucking thing
>I do not fight fair
>I get results.

All the people ITT saying they could beat a Roo in a fight obviously haven't seen one. They are freaks of nature. Americans always go on about how dangerous spiders and snakes are in Australia, a Kangaroo is much more terrifying to me.

Oldfags and country bumpkins

Genetic disorder, wipits and cows get it too

At least with a snek, you can crawl to a doctor.

If your Australian sure, usually have to fight 4 of the cunts just walking to my car in the morning


youtube.com/watch?v=GO38OEHiHeE

So how's life in the outer suburbs?

Discord for australians.
discord.gg/C5EKH2x

Can you beat a roo in a fight:

So lets put this in perspective for you people who what done think you could beat up a roo.

Firstly, the roo was in the process of STRANGLING A DOG TO DEATH. As the guy runs up to it, you see the roo attempt to DISEMBOWEL said dog offhandedly before starting another fight with the larger, more immediate threat, the guy running towards it.

Then it rears up to full height and only doesn't murder him because it's not been punched before, only scraped by other roos.

If he had stuck around, it's next opener would have been feet right into his guts, at which point he WOULD have died, no question about it.

Same poster: Source, I owned (and was repeatedly owned by) a kangaroo as a child.

Park ranger here, I have had to fight off roos a few times. I knocked one the fuck out with a single punch once. I would shit bricks if one managed to get me in a clinch though.

depends wether i am allowed to damage it propably, but thosefeet are pretty scary. Guess i would win to like 60%, but i never saw a kangaroo in real life so idk
shieet no i would run

11 years of 5 diffrent martial arts leave their traces m8

Are kangaroos agressive?

I have about 80 lbs on a kangaroo, so unless their muscle density far exceeds my expectations, I could probably just throw my body weight at it, get it to the ground, coil around it and choke it.

This guy knows what he's on about... Another 30 seconds of said 'fight' and that bloke would've been relieved of his intestines. No Christmas for him!

Damn dog, those are rather large gashes. Wonder if he had to be put down as a result.

That's Roger he's like 6'5''

My bad, actually he's over 6'7'' and he crushed this bucket in seconds

Go for his bloody balls mate

He's not going to spear it you dickhead. He mentions spear tackle because that's what a human can do to you. As in your reactions don't have to be as good as a real fight.

Some people are fucking retarded and don't understand the simplest shit.

I'm 5'9" and about 130lbs. I can literally jump up and down on a 5 gallon bucket and not even bend it.

Fuckin' roos'll rekt my shit

Not that steroid user, but this small one I can.