BRAVO TARZAN

BRAVO TARZAN
BRAVO YATES

>Like John Carter and The Lone Ranger before it, this movie packs in so much generic derring-do that there's little time to focus on what made the character so memorable in the first place.

>As Tarzan, Alexander Skarsgard has a torso that looks like it was sculpted out of marble; too bad his performance is just as stony, even when embracing Margot Robbie's Jane.

>A disagreeable effort, made more so by turning Margot Robbie into a full-time hostage.

>A dreamy looking film filled with fear -- of offending someone, of disappointing audience expectations, of failure.

But could a man fight a gorilla?

What did he mean by this?

>waaaaaa tarzan is racist

seriously america?

This movie actually looks pretty decent judging by the trailers.

>Christoph Waltz
>Gorrillas wrecking shite
>Some cool fight scenes
Not a fan of the actor they chose for Tarzan but I'd def give this movie a shot.

What a complete fucking hack.

The guy doesn't even have a visual style outside of HUR DUR TELL THE CINEMATOGRAPHY TO WASH EVERY SLIVER OF COLOR OUT TO ENSURE THE MOVIE IS AS JOYLESS AND LIFELESS AS POSSIBLE

>This film was always going to be inherently problematic. If the studio spoke to any 13-year-olds, they would discover that there’s hardly an itch for a Tarzan film, even if it’s that most shimmering jewel: a dormant intellectual property everyone has heard of. The producers have bent over backwards to mitigate unease as much as possible, and not only by keeping Samuel L Jackson in every other scene so we can say: “Well, if he thinks this isn’t racist, it must not be.”

>great white savior

>white savior

>shilling for Disney inside of a review for another movie
jesus

The reviewer believes it's racist. Therefor it is

>white savior
>literally the story of Tarzan
lol fucking leftists

I got a free movie ticket n a coke-a-cola box. The Neon Demon wasn't playing anywhere near me so i'm seeing this tonight.

This is literally the stupidest post I ever eve read. Think about what you just typed user.

ahh now I see why the critics are hating and not praising it

Their version of Jungle Book is going to get totally shat on, just watch.

What the fuck did he think Tarzan was about? It was written during a time when Africans still resembled something out of the 5th century BC. And that's not racism talking, that was just the scientific thoughts of the day.

I like how this reviewer is literally saying he doesn't like the movie cause the main good guy is white.

you white faggots deserve to get racemixed into shit

I guess I'm seeing The BFG this weekend instead. Shame.

t. The aforementioned shit

Because Warner Bros. sucks.

Even an user who works for them said Tarzan is a bad movie, mainly because Yates wasn't able to finish it because WB wanted him to direct Fantastic Beasts around the same time.

Nope. Us Asians are pure blooded as shit. We don't fall for your jewey "racemix or you are racist" propaganda.

White guilt is for you beta white faggots.

It's time for a black gay Tarzan
---America 2016

>We don't fall for your jewey "racemix or you are racist" propaganda.
>White guilt is for you beta white faggots.

true.

White guilt = extremely effective social manipulation. This affliction does seem to be limited to whites... hell the japs raped the Chinks and they're successful as shit & apologize for nothing.

Amazing what social manipulation & guilt can do to a society.

>Us Asians

Couldn't get past that part, my slant eyed man. Here's your (You)

It's time for a black gay everything

I for one, am all in for a black gay Tarazan and the same I'm all in for a black gay Batman. Sick and tired of the generic straight white male. In 15 years it will be abnormal to be straight and white. Studios should be on the right side of history and get with the times.

>Nope. Us Asians are pure blooded as shit. We don't fall for your jewey "racemix or you are racist" propaganda.

I'd rather be half nigger than full chink. pretty sure 90% of americans would agree.

>RT
>2016
>critics
>2016
ill see it an make up my own mind

On the other hand there are all those young Japanese who protested against Abe's amendments to the constitution to remilitarize

stop samefagging, it wasn't clever or interesting the first time.

Nobody likes your shit.

What a novel idea.

At least the chinks, despite their social retardation, aren't niggers

>cocky nip trying to lecture about beta qualities

>not including Asians in major roles
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE why does Hollywood keep giving blacks main roles and not Asians?

I'm jap. I'd probably also choose half black over being Chinese... lol

Hell, being half black gets you tons of free shit and opportunities in 'merica. Not a bad life.

Triggered as fuck because of 'critics' like these lmao

>Nolanfags btfo

>Asians weren't impressed for years and years by whites
>Asians aren't constantly the subject of ridicule and racism here in American
>Asians aren't killed by police for being Asian
>Asians aren't arrested for being Asian
>Asians aren't sentenced to prison for being Asian

It's time to give back to the people who essentially built this country. The African Americans.

who the fuck thought it was a good idea to do a grim dark version of Tarzan in the first place?

>>Asians weren't impressed for years and years by whites
>>Asians aren't constantly the subject of ridicule and racism here in American
>>Asians aren't killed by police for being Asian
>>Asians aren't arrested for being Asian
>>Asians aren't sentenced to prison for being Asian

LOOK AT ME!

I LIKE TO SHOW OFF MY IGNORANCE TO THE WORLD!!

Is that the Principle from Saved by the Bell??

As a black guy, why would I pay to see some white saviour shit like this? It's borderline insulting.

>who the fuck thought it was a good idea to do a grim dark version of Tarzan in the first place?

White boi raised in TreeDetroit by a bunch of apes tries to learn manners and how to behave like a real human.

Yeah... that will go over real well as a family movie.

Its david yates the guy who is about to surpass nolan as the fifth highest grossing director, with half the films and not look back

>Tarzan gets clotheslined by a gorilla
>doesn't instantly get his neck shattered
>somehow ends up winning

Bravo indeed
Not even the plebs fell for that one

As a white guy, nobody gives a shit what you find insulting.

Don't watch the fucking movie and go cry to somebody who gives a shit.

The book took it's self seriously in the first place.

>grim dark
Kill yourself you regurgitating little chick.

>it's a chink calls someone else a beta episode

>TreeDetroit

topkek

Obviously all these critics give a shit seeing as they are backing up my claims in agreement. Go cry somewhere else white boi.

>tarzan should be real
>TARZAN REAL

Did anyone have any hope for this anyway?

Wow. What a surprisingly great film.

Great performances from supporting cast members Margot Robbie (rocking a redhairdo) and Samuel L Jackson as real life figure George Washington Williams (who has, obviously, been fictionalized)

What mad this a real treat was how original it felt. Sure, it's a "Tarzan" movie - we've seen a million of them but this one is different

it's not another origin story... It's it's own and I give director


David Yates and the screenwriter a lot of credit for creativity.

Characters are underwhelming and Skarsgaard wouldn't have been my first choice for the role but this was a pretty enjoyable movie with some stunning action sequences and cinematography.

See it. 8/10

>As a white guy,

Top KEK
or should I say KUK

David please

vs......

MUH SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

Asians are the most beta race and their eyes don't let them act plus people will always think they have tiny dicks, that's your answer chink

Thats the top review on imdb, i just wanted to see another opinion. it has 19/25 likes.

the only thing I'm getting out of this thread is:

Would you rather be:
1) A full, pure blooded Chink?
2) A half nigger half white 'merican mongoloid?


I'm going with chink... math skills can make me bank and chink women are submissive as hell

I see you're one of the 18% that liked it
You should feel very proud of yourself

Don't disrespect the 5th Century BC, the Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Asian civilizations were doing pretty well back then. More like 30th century BC.

FOUND THE REDDITOR

>percentagecuck
>hasnt even seen it

I'd rather be a mix of every fucking race on earth except for nigger, just so I can keep laughing at dumb nigger antics.

The whole thing feels almost endearingly old-fashioned in plot and execution, despite a few winky nods to more modern ideas.
Full Review… | June 29, 2016
Leah Greenblatt
Entertainment Weekly

ok... seems levelheaded

'At last, a Hollywood reimagining with a point.'

Hmm is this something most critics cant even recognize?

>'Who knew that Tarzan and Jane once again could become the screen duo of the year? '

is this an animated "film"? No.

The ignorance and entitlement on this comment section is on different level lol the people that complain about PC culture are always the ones easily offended lol

>that matters
every live action film is real


FILMS ARE REAL

>actually found a guy who likes it
>not even the pleb filled voting system that is online movie ratings agrees with him

Taking a break from capeshit today shit for brains?

Are you implying the media isnt 100% worthless and therefore movie critics are as well

>Watch the animated Disney™ "Tarzan" instead
*hyperlinks to itunes movies and amazon*

Are people so fucking retarded that they don't see critics are paid off to shit on every blockbuster that isn't Disney?

>it's a Tarzan gets cucked again, episode

>frogposter
>rt cuck
>film critics connoisseur
nice bait faggot

some stuff can only be accepted on animation

a rat that becomes a little chef who controls a horny teen bu pulling his pubes would be too ridiculous for a live action film. If Tarzan is played by an actor it should be more realistic

>tarzan
>more realistic
Its a tarzan move why would it be realistic you fuckng ape

do you know that feral children raised by animals is something that actually happened? why not work a character driven film centered on that concept instead of LOL LE FLYING MAN WRESSLING MONKEYS IN THE TREES WHILE CARRING AROUND HIS SUPER SEXY GIRLFRIEND

Just from looking at her, what do you think Margot Robbie pussy smells like?

Go spend your money on it then
And don't forget to order the special edition Legend of Tarzan uncut blu-ray DVD with director commentary and never before footage, numbnuts

So how how many illiterate, uneducated SJWs though that Tarzan was supposed to be played by a non-white guy?

>$200m production budget
>$100m+ advertising

Who greenlit this?

salty coins and milk.

why make a movie about a white saviour character in the first place? Same with the Frozen defensors, "it's based on european floklore, don't you read books and stuff?" Well how about dropping that eurocentrism for a bit and explore the world, isn't adventure what movies are about?

>still frog-posting
>absolute cancer
thanks

>another movie I will have no idea how good it actually will be because reviewers are SJWs
for fucks sake.

its 2016

The trailers are terrible

Movie about a fucking cishet white male saviour type gets bad reviews!

News at 11.

Ive seen much much worse senpai

how about watching the thing, and being your own personal critic?

>all vaginas smell the same

Spotted the virgin

woah woah this is TV

home of ROTTEN TOMATOES

The whole point of reviews is to screen out bad movies to save you time from watching them.

Called it

>year of our lord 2000+16
>being this new

where the fuck have you been the last 10 years? the media is absolutely garbage. why do you actually hold critics to a high regard? they arent special look at their 'reviews'

Yeah, real redpill films like Tarzan the Legend Continues, Independence Day 2 and Captain America always get a raw deal

SJW's need to go