Story Time
>be 15
>go to counseling because want to an hero and have anxiety
>get put into crisis and sent to physiological hospital
>arrive at hospital
>walls look like a 5 year old smudged paint with his hands on them
>get put in room with 2 other guys
>pretty cool guys
>get put into a room called the day room
>dayroom just has alot of plastic chairs and we talk about stuff in there
>then i see him
>Tardosaurus enters the room
>tardosaurus is about 6 feet tall
>turns out tard is in there for anger management because he hit his dad after losing in madden
>meeting begins
>discuss why we are all in there
>tard tells why he was in there
>one of my roommates laughs at his story
>tard stands up and throws his chair at the kid
>tard freaks out crying and runs down the hallway to his room
>staff goes to get him in his room
>all we hear is crying and screaming that sound like murder
This was only the beginning, more?
Story Time
more more more
first word of every line
Moreeeee
Day Two
>wake up and get vitals checked
>told to go to the dayroom for some morning free time
>walk into the day room and it hits me
>the smell
>it smells like a dumpster full of dead babies
>turns out tardo took a massive shit in the corner since there was no staff in the room
>we all have to leave since the staff have to clean up the shit
>eventually we go back in
>i go over to my roommates and they teach me some card game named thirty one which is somewhat like blackjack in a way
>tard approaches
>"can I pway the game?"
>we clearly dont want him playing with us so we think of an excuse
>"sorry but there isnt enough cards"
>the tard is angered by this, i mean really angered
>he starts throwing a stomping tantrum like toddlers do
>the staff come over to calm him down and he literally punches one
>staff call for a kind of security,more like just tougher guys but you know
>tard gets put into the "quiet room"
>quiet room is just a room where they can calm down
>quiet room is also right across the hallway from me and my roommates room
>staff tells us to go back to our rooms before breakfast
>one of my roommates starts taunting the tard from our room
>tard has had enough
>he rushes my roommate an kick him straight in the balls
>tard gets put on watch in a single bed room now and cant leave the room
>roommate is in nurse station for the rest of the day
That was day 2
More
why yes, I also bggawgpgdttttmdtottsa
Bump
Bump
Type faster
This sounds like an autistic rendition of one flew over. So when do you and big chief tardosarus make a breakout.
Please continue
Moar
Day 3
>New kid arrives
>we will call him Joe
>go to dayroom after lunch
>joe is okay but has some anger issues
>they give us suncups as a drink
>see joe go around collecting the foil from the top of the suncup from people
>go ask him what he is doing
>"im making a shank"
>joe is making a shank out of fucking foil
>in a hospital
>finally tard comes in
>tard is off watch now
>the staff member watching the day room leaves to ask a nurse something
>tard dosent like joe for some reason and does a cut throat to joe
>joe flashes his tin foil shank at the tard
>i instantally go to the nurses station to ask if i could just go back to my room since i didnt feel well
> they allow me to so im safe from whatever hell was going to happen
>nothing happens as far as i know
Dinner time
>go to cafeteria
>food is amazing and unlimited fountain sodas
>we can get plastic knives but have to give them to staff after we are done or we cant leave
>tard has a knife to eat chicken
>before we leave staff is collecting knives
>staff notice tard didnt give up his
>they check him
>no knife
>they tell him to give it up or he will get extra days there
>tard proceeds to pull knife out of his underwear covered in shit
>i nearly puke
End of day 3
How much more do you have?
>inb4 everyone walk the dinasour
Bump
MOARPLS
moar
>physiological hospital
all my keks
This sounds promising, do please carry on.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
that re tard will prob rape a nurse and then put it in Sup Forums
you guys must be new here
do you think every greentext is first word of every line and dinosaurs?
also a hint for you mr dubs
walk the dinosaur is only for lewd/raunchy stories otherwise you're doing it wrong....
more
Hurry up op the third Reich is getting impatient
more !
No I don't think every green text is walk the dinasour I just think this one will be
>saved and named
love at first bite.gif
Tard stories are rarely shared now, pls continue
>being such a newfag you think you can dictate Sup Forums culture
kill yourself, honestly.
Bumpolowski
When is day 4
>staff call for a kind of security,more like just tougher guys but you know
site stewards?
okay well i could understand why you would think that
i hope it will just be some good tard stories, been a while since we had some, however if it does turn into dinosaur then by all means point and laugh at OP for being a faggot
It never came, op will not deliver
bamp
What do you mean laugh at him walk the dinasour is the only acceptable ending you fucking 9fag
...
>Sup Forums
>culture
pick one
Where tard art thou
jesus christ give us more green text im fucking on the edge of my toilet here
Sup Forums culture is the only one that matters
Next time, type up your entire story and copy paste it in sections.
Day 4
>>Joe puts his fat dick into my asshole
>>I like it
>>Tard get's jelous
>>I let him cum in my mouth
>>We all live together now in my house
Always like a happy ending :)
...
b culture = collective retardation comorbid with tourettes
The waiting makes it better
>newfag
>not knowing how walk the dinosaur originated and was used
>kill yourself
not sure if shitposting
or just retarded
>Sup Forums
>Culture
You don't take this place seriously do you?
That's why it's the best
...
So how would one come to acquire hormone replacement drugs
This thread
Why would you ask that here?
Op is kill, abandon thread
1/3
>Okay, so be me a few years ago, can't complain about life.
>perfect girl, a small home we can call our own, make enough that we don't have to worry much about money.
>every so often she likes to surprise me with random kinky shit right, costumes, toys, bondage, etc.
>notgonnalieshitwascash.gif
>Take her out for a nice dinner one night, just having a few drinks some good food.
>half way through she is already starting up her dirty talk, about a surprise she had waiting for us at home.
>every now and then running her heels over the erect penis beneath the table.
>Diamonds.jpg
>okay so dinner done, we're both about 5 drinks in and feeling good, she decides she can't wait to get home and gets the dessert to go.
>order a cab while she hits the washroom, get our coats and leave.
>riding in the backseat of some cabbies minivan, her licking and nibbling at my ear, grabbing at the penis pressed against the pants, sloppy drunk chicks are the best aren't they?
>Guy driving is trying to make small talk butt fuck him right? she's already on her knees on that dirty ass floor, pants unzipped and my dick in her hand.
>enjoying the feels, head back, the default bj position, just let her go to town working it and talking dirty, every so often catch the driver looking back in the rear view and just shoot him a grin.
>taxicabconfessions.webm
>Only about 10 minutes into the ride, dick out for harambe and most likely gonna die in wreck, when suddenly feel a chill run over my deek.
>now picture this, us in the far back seat, her stuffed down on her knees on the floor, covering my dick with our tiramisu and then licking it clean.
>Tiramisu, makeup, and cock smearing all across her face, and thanks to the nice buzz we have going her dirty talking has gone up a few decibels.
>hhnnnggg.png
>enjoying the backseat bj and doing my best not to let loose the flood gates before we get home
cont?
TARD FOUND HIM
.
Somebody has to keep us occupied while we wait for op
moar
Jar Jar was a sith lord.
No since its just dinosaur tales...
2/3
>Fuck i loved her, so anyways we about 10 minutes from the house, cab filled with a silent driver, sloppy sucking, and some overly lewd talk, good times.
>"look me in the eyes while you fuck my face in this dirty cab"
>"open up that slutty mouth and eat your dessert you kinky bitch"
>often our dirty talk even goes as far as to taunt the driver and the other fun things you say to rub your sex life in others faces.
>ready to bust when she just pulls me out of her mouth with that wet pop and just grabs my balls and grips the base tight as fuck.
>Enjoy it but god damn she has a death grip on me and no way she is gonna let me blast her in the face yet.
>vehicle finally comes to a stop, made it back alive somehow, driver tells us it would only be 12 bucks for the ride, look at fare total was somewhere around 30.
>exiting the van her keeping a tight grip on the dick leading me out like it's a fucking leash, toss the driver 15 on the way out, 3 bucks for the mess of tiramisu and spit left on the seat.
>reach the door fumbling for the keys while she's teasing me and playing with the my balls on our doorstep, trying to be discrete but you know how it goes when your drunk, it's still obvious to everyone.
>"your gonna love your surprise baby, can't wait for you to see it"
>benis won't be able to take much more of this, get the door opened, pulled into the house before she pushes me back onto the couch.
>orders me to stay put while she get's changed and ready, even nice enough to grab me a beer before heading to the room.
>drinking my beer, taking a breather and trying to figure out what sort of surprise she had in mind, since it could be fucking anything.
>yiffy suits, dragon dildos, a horse suspended by an intricate system of ropes and pulleys accompanied by a marching band, who the fuck knows.
>Waiting about 20 mins now and starting to get that anxious feeling as well as reaching the end of my second beer.
Youre not fooling anyone except that one newfriend m80
no. we want tard stories.
It's a nigger or a dinasour
3/3
>all of a sudden start hear moaning coming from our bedroom down the hall and hear her call out "I'm ready"
>love her but i swear to god if theres a dude in there fucking her i'm killing them both.
>keep my cool as i set my beer down, stand up and make my way towards that door and whatever hides behind it.
>There is probably no greater moment of happiness and relief in my life than when i opened that door and saw what she had in store.
>her standing there in a slutty latex outfit and heels, looking up at me while she was bent over some bitch she had tied down to the bed in a matching outfit.
>everythinginmylifewasleadingtothismoment.heaven
>Didn't know who the chick was but later found out it was an old highschool friend of her's
>i guess she was talking to her for a few weeks before to plan the whole surprise, anyways
>not even 5 seconds into my pants hitting the floor before i was climbing onto that bed and pressing her face into her friends ass
>ok so to set the scene, two bitches in matching skimpy outfits, one tied to the bed, the other spreading her out and tongue forced into her asshole getting it ready for the penis that would be penetrating it soon
>so before i can even spit in her face she pulls her tongue from that fartbox grabs my dick with that kungfu grip and looks me straight in the eyes as she says
>"are you ready to fuck this cum slut baby?"
>ultimately the answer was yes (of course), simply give her a nod more focused on my dick pulsing in her hand than speaking, she finally let's go.
>reaching up she grabs my hair and whispers in my ear "yfw you read the first letter of every sentence." and i instantly came buckets
I Kek'd
This never happened you kiss less virgin.
Read every first letter.
Everyone thinks they are soooo clever.
This board is shit.
Are people even still coming here.
Right about now, newmoot is probably adding more ads.
Driving down the clicks with this shit.
Every time i come here its more bullshit.
Done and done.
WaNt mO rE t@rd stori plS
Welcome to post-meta culture. It's on a level you oldfags can't comprehend.
It says walk the dinosaur in the first letters.
Twink Faggot
...
Well I was in an hospital like this too and will tell a short story until op delivers
>be me
>18 years old that tried to kill himself and failed horribly
>lifeisgood.jpg
>police takes me to hospital and nurses are tieing me to a fucking bad
>telling me that it's for my own good while im screeming like a bitch
>morning
>they are letting me go to the dining room
>eating some ugly shit
>a kid with no eyebrows is coming to me
>telling me he is god and I am is son and I must kiss him to thank him
>keep eating and saying nothing
>he is starting to get pissed and shout like a mad man
>the irony
>the nurses are trying to calm him down but he keeps screaming
>some big russian alpha takes him to settle down in a room with pillows on the walls
>later that night
>some other kid wakes me up
>tells me to get ready for the war
>i tell him that there is no war and to go to sleep
>he starts crying and telling me that it's not a joke and to get under the bad
>trying to sleep but this idiot keeps crying
>he takes his blunket and put it around is neck
>i call the nurses
>the big ruassian guy comes in and noks him out
>lifeisgood.jpg