QUICK! I need $1,000 in one week to do Christmas shopping!

QUICK! I need $1,000 in one week to do Christmas shopping!

What do?

pic related: if you a movie buffy

stop buying such expensive shit and get a job

jobs need three weeks for security before they can pay you, tooo slow

That's one strike bitch

that's step two
step one is stop buying such expensive shit

What did your surger daddy leave high and dry

And cant buy less expensive shit because I'm too insecured about my self worth so i must buy it to impress. LOW SELF ESTEEM BITCH! STRIKE TWO

THE LAUNDRY

times TICKING

if you're trying to impress some girl buy spending the last $1000 in your bank account on presents, you're doing it wrong

didnt have the father support growing up to learn how to save money and not focus too much on women. DIVORCE OLO

strike two or three?

she'll figure out that you're broke after your spend all your money on presents and your card gets declined at starbucks

She knows my banking info COMPLETE HONEST AND TRANSPARENCY. 1095 days dating

then she knows you can't afford to spend $1000 dollars on gifts
if you go ahead and do it anyway, she'll know you're an idiot

run lola run

But i dont have the money, i need ideas! not THERAPY!!

Never seen it

suck 50 dicks for $20 each
it should take about 15 minutes per dick
so by this time tomorrow you could have the $1000
or you could take it in the ass for $50 each go and have the money before tomorrow

NOW WERE TALKING now how do i find 50 dicks?

FLIP A BRICK NIGGA ! SHIEEEET I CAN DO DAT IN 5 DAYS TOPS MAH NIG

I DONT HAVE THESE THINGS PEOPLE!!

Stupid hipster friends are all "oh you've gotta watch run lola run it's like a video game and so mindblowing" I finally watch it. I notice instantly it is some low budget euro garbage hipster shit. Sit 45 minutes in and finally turn that shit off. Why are hipsters so unAmerican now that they want to recruit people into their weird cult of worshiping anything that is not American? I've seen tarantino movies that are more tolerable than that slop.

grindr
craigslist
backpage
go out to a major street with a sign that reads "get it here"

FIND A NIGGA , SHOOT
DA NIGGA , STEAL HIS SHIT , SELL IT , REPEAT , NIGGA I CAN GET U 20k in a night shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Tried that

How about you just give me 1k?

...

YOU GOTTA GO DO YOUR SHIT NIGGA , U THINK BEING A STRAIGHT OG NIGGA FROM DA HOOD IS EASY ?

I only know how to make $100 at a time

so do that 10 times

HOW

Ask 1000 people for 1 dollar. Or simply change the ratio to your liking but keep in mind the number of people you could possibly ask and the amount people are willing to give up without needing it back and the income of people. For instance, I think a neurosurgeon would be willing to give you more than 10 dollars if you look like you really need it.