Hey Sup Forums

hey Sup Forums

im schizphrenic and since i havent been on here in a while i figured id start a mental illness thread

>please dont be a cunt in this thread lets keep it mostly positive

what are you going through Sup Forums?

Well, I just kicked methadone about a month ago. Life is shit and I'm depressed as fuck.

My body doesn't work properly anymore.

>what are you going through Sup Forums?

Your private thoughts.

ASPD and some other shit. Not really the most friendly of people. Sometimes I space out for no reason.

>PTSD
>Mood Disorder
>Sociopathic Tendencies
>Minimal Depression

good meme friend

Felt the same way after LSD and huge dose of speed, I even thought that I had a major brain injury, I had psychosomatic aphasia and felt anxiety/depression at all time. It lasted about one year until it vanished gradually

drugs are a large part of what made my psychosis worse than it was when i was a teenager.i was a heroin addict for 2 years and was able to get off it almost a year ago. now im focusing more on taking my meds and improving myself. addiction is hard but you'll get through it if you try. i hope you don't give up user.

Got it

...

That is a disease... Too bad half the people on Sup Forums have it

...

We should kill them all

What caused your PTSD?

...

I've been on and off junk for 10 years now...I have to get better, next time I'll die.

I don't plan on giving up, but the emptiness is horrid. I live mostly for my wife. Anyway...I'm tired.

source?

didn't read op, just downloaded his picture as a reaction image

>Fucked family life... seen some shit thrown down
>In a grocery store at 4:00 AM with aderol induced mom with police outside and baby brother
>Alcoholic aggressive father
>Witnessed Double Homicide across the street on neighbor's porch

Legitimate PTSD and Depression, not bullshit that tumblr cunts whine about. Can't decide whether or not I should break up with my gf, trying to move up in my job but no avail, wishing my childhood didn't go by so fast, wanting those who died to early in my life to come back

It's all yours my friend

Very severe depression (the unironically kms kind), social anxiety disorder and general anxiety disorder. I wish everyone would just have a mental disorder for just a few days of their life, just so that we could understand people who do have it much better

Bipolar Schizo here. Lost my first love and my job because of it this year. Surprisingly the only thing that treats my symptoms is taking drugs like psychedelics. Otherwise I spiral out of control, just down and down till I get extremely suicidal.
Been applying to places for a while for a new job but no place will contact me back. I'm broke as fuck, I can't get my psych fix, and I can feel the next wave coming soon.
Heading back to college next semester after taking a 3 year break.
I just wish there was a way out of this cycle for good... Every script I've been on for it just adds on way too many side effects that are way worse than my bipolar symptoms, and daily. I can dream can't I?

That's good that you have an outlet for positivity. Once you stop using and the withdrawal passes, you'll feel so liberated, it's incredible. Keep your wife close and push through, I promise you it's worth the struggle.

Both BPD's
GAD
SAD

Have you tried lithium?

I'd say ease up on the psychs user.

Was your schizophrenia caused by psych usage?

I just wish the shit heads of the world could be killed off... those narcissistic middle class people who never had a single challenge in their life. I'm just waiting for the real world to hit them so they can truly see their hypocrisy and cunty behavior as they spiral into a shit storm where not everyone gets a trophy just for showing up

Especially those tumblr faggots who talk about how their life is so hard because they lost a friend once 10 years ago.

OP here.

I've got nothing to do, so would anyone be interested in reading a greentext of a pretty bad psychotic episode?

no
before my psych usage. I began self medicating with dxm which works for about 1-2 weeks of symptom relief when I trip decently. Mushrooms work better than lsd, lasts a bit longer.
I make sure I don't take too much. It's an interesting balance. Don't trip, lose my mind. Trip too hard, lose my mind. Trip just right, I become absolutely fucking normal for a limited amount of time.

Sure, why not?

I only have like bad thoughts day by day about how to hurt someone, rob something, or destroy someone's life.

Psychedelics are known to cause psychosis in people who don't already have a psychotic disorder. That could be making it worse.

Court appointed doctor diagnosed me with ASPD 5 years ago, everyone knows and treats me like a serial killer waiting to happen.
I don't care, they aren't like real people anyway.
On the upside, whenever I get caught for something everyone seems to just nod sagely and says that obviously "He can't help it", having all the kids in my town shit-scared of me is hilarious, they buy me weed and booze so as to hang out and show how badass they are.
I go berserk for no reason sometimes, it feels like I'm watching the TV when it happens and it's not me doing it.
How about you?

I don't know what I have
symptoms from almost all of the illnesses, luckily no hallucinations, I'm not hearing voices (I think) but have experienced grandiose thoughts a couple of times. Ridiculous ones.

mania an dep from time to time... etc

I don't even have the guts to seek professional help

also phucked up around 20 interviews, and my college grades paper looks like 2 2 8 5 2 9 (out of 10). it's gonna chase me forever.

College grades don't matter as long as you pass and get your degree.

Try getting on lithium,it was the biggest increase to my livlyhood.It took the biggest chunk of manic/mania episodes,its alot more manageable, like i can feel them comming on but its no where near as hard.I have other meds to take with it,but it was the biggest positive thing i have ever had happen in my life. Plus its cheap and you can buy it online for ~$20 if your psych is a retard

I've been a little sperg all of my life.. now I reckon how stupid I was when I was 20, 21 years old.
really fucking annoying.

Severe PTSD from childhood which is flaring up from recent abuse. Smoked daily for a month+ trying to deal with the recent and ended up with a nasty and lingering case of THC psychosis.

Because fuck me and my shit genetics. Like being trans wasn't enough of a shitshow.

You should get professional help. They have dealt with this before, so they're not going to be judge mental or rude.
P.S. Why does captcha like street signs so much?

it depends on the place...
being the mental fuck I am I wouldn't like not fit in the industry. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I might be the academic type: investigating and/or teching.

Mfw when I read >Please don't be a cunt in this thread.
And after I get into thread and see no one trolling the shit out of him

we are teaching google's artificial intelligence bots
not even memeing

I just feel the American system for education is actual garbage. I wish we could choose classes we already excel in and plan on taking in the future, instead of these shitty courses I'm required to take that just bring down my GPA. I excel in Philosophy, Buisness, and mathematics

Schizoaffective and intrusive thoughts OCD. Been on 50ish medications before finding a good cocktail. Now on lithium, lamotrigine, seroquel, cymbalta, and propranolol. I smoke pot but don't do any other drugs.

Narcissism Defined Just For You:

>Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy

>cockiness

Why even question if they have had challenges you know they haven't!

>manipulativeness

Not seen in post.

>selfishness

You're better than these shitheads!

>power motives

I know I am right, so they should suffer!

>vanity-a love of mirrors

Not seen in post

also

>Psychopathy

Kill them off!

Well I hope you have seen some
>hipocracy
>cunty behavior
in your own post now. Though I don't hope your life spirals anywhere bad.

advice: talk with people that are researching in those fields near you and ask them what are your options. you could get some valuable experience to counter-effect that shitty stain on your resume that will be your low GPA. specialize. you still need that bachelor, tho.

My grandfather is dealing with late onset Huntington's disease. Watching him slowly waste away is so horrible.

>Wake up in the morning with a strange feeling in my stomach.
>Not anxious or scared, just feeling off, as if something was gonna happen.
>Have a strange sound in my ears, almost like white noise but not really.
>Off from work so I have the day to myself.
>Order takeout, play video games, etc.
>At around 12 PM, I was watching TV and I went to my kitchen to make something to grab something out of the pantry.
>As I close the door I hear a female voice.
>"Huh?"
>I turn around and see no one.
>Start to panic.
>Peek out windows to see if anyone is outside.
>No one.
>Someone is watching me, and they know I'm onto them.
>Walk to the bathroom, close the door and lock it.

continue?

Yes, please cont.

bump so we can see this story

>Narcissism: IDK if I have it or not, even though I try not to have it
>Cockiness: I know them from research of their home life and such. Yeah that is a bit crazy.
>Manipulative: I agree
>Selfish: Don't know how that makes me selfish
>Vanity: None
>Psychopathy: I meant by kill them off, by hoping that they could be separated from society so they can do what they want without them fucking with people, because they are assholes

>go to rejects thread
>still ignored

Dealing with anxiety and episodes of sleep paralysis from time to time, all due to working in EMS for years. I've been keeping up with it good, but I feel like I'm slipping again

21Male
Most likely NPD, quite narcissistic but in prolonged episodes. Sociopath more then likely. On and off depression. Drawn to drugs because they level me out, mainly opiates, which I quit hopefully for good about 2 weeks ago after 3 years. Disassociated from reality often, I attribute this one to being run over at 7 years old and seeing my organs hanging out of my body. Episodes where I think about being truly evil, murdering, just for fun, feel no emotions during these whatsoever, like psychopathy mixed with disassociation. I'm pretty strange, but nothing that really makes me stand out in a group of people and on the surface everyone thinks I'm just a normal, intelligent and funny charismatic guy.

>Narcissism: IDK if I have it or not, even though I try not to have it

I was merely pointing out the narcissistic traits in your post, as you used it is a descriptive negative word on that person.

>Cockiness: I know them from research of their home life and such. Yeah that is a bit crazy.

Again cockiness exhibited, how do you know how life has been for them? You assure yourself from what you have seen in a (presumably short amount of time) that you're correct about this.
>Manipulative: I agree
k
>Selfish: Don't know how that makes me selfish

You're not posting this, doing "research of their home life" for your self? Who are you doing it for then?
>Vanity: None

K.
>Psychopathy: I meant by kill them off, by hoping that they could be separated from society so they can do what they want without them fucking with people, because they are assholes

Listen to yourself sometime.

Sorry this took so long.
>After about an hour I'm hearing distinct voices.
>"They know you know."
>"You're toast now."
>"So stupid, how could you let them know?"
>Get off the toilet I was sitting on, see my reflection in the mirror.
>My face is distorted and I run out of the bathroom.
>I have to get out of here.
>"You need to leave."
>"No, don't let him go!"
>"Leave the house."
>Voices contradicting eachother.
>Go to grab my keys
>"Find the keys."
>"He's looking for his keys."
>"The keys. Find the keys!"
>Can't find my keys.
>Walk out of the door.
>"I'm gonna be shot."
>"Someone is going to shoot me."
>"They know where you are."
>Walk down the stairs of my apartment building and start down the sidewalk toward a CVS.
>"He's going into the drug store."
>"Drugged up fuck."
>"Why would you go in there? You're so stupid."
>The cashier is watching me. He knows something I don't.
>He picks up the phone and I know something is up.
>Someone walks into the door a little bit after he hangs up.
>"You know you're useless."
>"Get out. Get out! You need to leave now."
>"He's going."
>Leave the store.
>I'm being followed, but I have nowhere to go.

At this point I'm having visual hallucinations too.

>Walking down a fairly small trail that starts in the parking lot of the CVS.
>Surrounded by trees, walking on a dirt path.
>See a figure out of the corner of my eye.
>Turn to look at it and see nothing.
>"They know where you are."
>"You're an idiot, why would you go here?"
>Somebody at the end of the trail, standing.
>He is staring at me.
>Starts to speak incoherently to me, listing random things.
>"One, Seven, Triangle, Watching Television." etc.
>I can't do this, I have to go home.
>"Don't go home."
>"He's going."
>"They know where you live."
>Walk all the way home.

bump

>Get to the door.
>"Don't touch it!"
>"It's going to shock you."
>"You're so stupid, you're gonna die right here!"
>Open the door to find the TV still on.
>The words are changed and I can hardly understand it.
>"What are you doing?"
>"You're supposed to be doing something, you idiot."
>Check the clock.
>It's been almost two hours.
>I want to call my mom.
>Reach into my pocket for my phone.
>"He's using the phone."
>"No! Don't do that! The phone is bugged!"
>"They know everything."
>Set my phone down.
>I can't use it.
>Close all the blinds and lock the door.

I stayed cooped up in my apartment for days. Auditory hallucinations continued to berate me, and visual hallucinations continued to appear in my peripheral vision mostly. Nothing much else different happened, as I stayed inside. Sorry if this is kind of a mess, but that's it really.

Wow that must have been hard to deal with user, I'm sorry you had to experience that. Was it just that day or do you have similar symptoms at other times?

I get psychotic episodes that involve delusions and mostly minor auditory hallucinations relatively frequently. It doesn't get bad like that too often.

oh, I have stuff like that too which is why I am interested. Well thank you for sharing the story I really do think it helps me personally to know I am not alone with stuff like this. Hope/wish the best for you.

bump for more stories

Glad I could help.