Going back to college Sup Forums. What should I put in my personal statement to guarantee that I get in?

Going back to college Sup Forums. What should I put in my personal statement to guarantee that I get in?

>I'm alt-right.
>I voted for Trump.
>I frequent Sup Forums

Surely this will benefit you.

dubs of truth

also
>pedophile
>pizzagayte investigator

just write exactly that

Also mention the Trumpcuck slogan:
>Hail Trump, Hail our people, Hail victory
Whatever that means.

Tell em you're American Indian and you will definitely get in.

Alright now what? Im not putting nazi shit i'm sorry

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

OP, you're giving them money (or getting loans and grants so the gov'ment is giving them money) they're not going to not 'accept' you.
i'm not even convinced they read them, but it would explain why the counselor/class choosing person assumed i was a 'gamer'
(also that tech cringe thread is shit, i'm the guy with the shitty internet)

this

>Berserk Dual Audio
I didn't know they let people with awful taste into college.

It is done. I think will genuinely save this statement since they'll only deny me anyway

bump

(contribution ignored)
calling it: you actually don't want to go to college, and you're trying to be denied so you can tell your parents you tried.

Its not a college you pay for and i failed all my exams therefore its likely i wont get in anyway. You didn't post a contribution you just said they probably don't read applications

that's the spirit. why risk failing if you can set yourself up to fail?

Niall you're a retarded faggot

okay, i was talking out my ass, actual research done.
A. you actually WILL have to pay tuition to the actual school, UCAS just forwards your app to different schools.
B. this C. if college careers sound like they suck, just learn a trade or craft instead. whatever people say, college is not the only way to earn a living.

say your are a big supporter of the alt-right, neo nazis and that queer nazi yani

Say "Trump grabbed my boipucci but I didn't press charges because I'm that much of a bootlicking cuck."

This will show you are an ultra right-winger, the epitome of Sup Forums, the alt-right, and republicanism in general. It will let all know that you can take the president's dick up your ass like the true cuck that you are.

Goddamn it.