Hey guys, how do I become more successful on Tinder?

Hey guys, how do I become more successful on Tinder?

Pic related.

put nice pics with your shirt off, fake ones if you are ugly and fat. Set the range to maximum.

Yeah man I ain't as cool as John who hates all of us.

i am the kaos. i am the almighty. i have returned from my slumber because you have summoned me. i put all of you on notice. my power is reaching out to you. you cannot escape. your age is at an end. mine is just beginning.

Become a woman- enjoy thousands of matches a day

Wtf does that gibberish say?

Fuck serious comment here:

Step 1. Get in shape. 'Omg why are women so vain' shut the fuck up fatty. Do 20 minutes of exercise, the kind that raises your heart rate, and cut out white sugar. There's more to it, but that's a start.

Step 2. Get a good haircut. Unless you're a hairdresser, don't cut your own hair. If you're balding, forget the scraps and Willis that shit.

Step 3. Wear nice form fitting clothes, if you're still a fat fuck then repeat step 1 until you're not. Don't dress like you're twelve, have at least one nice suit and try and avoid vomit colours.

Step 4. Take nice photos. Too many guys will do a selfie in their wank cellar. If you're going to take a photo of yourself, make sure it's well lit and has a good angle of you. Have another pic of you out and about and having fun, and one more of you with a dog. Bitches love bitches.

Step 5. Don't be a cynical ass hat, doesn't work- trust me.

Step 6. Contact the girl within 24 hours of matching. Don't say 'hi' or some boring shit. Break the ice with a witty observation, unless you're stupid in which I suggest complimenting on something specific in her on one of her photos.

Step 7. Ask her how her night is going/what brings her to tinder/how's the app. To have a conversation going.

Step 8. Keep things flirty, easier when late at night.

Step 9. Trade snapchats. Get her to send regular pictures, then slowly make yours and hers more flirty. (chicks like collarbones strangely)

Step 10. Tease her. Don't send fully exposed dick pics, just get her all hungry. Suggest a meet up, but don't suggest it's for sex, the subtext is there and saying it upfront can be off-putting (which is still fukcing stupid.)

It's dutch

Use filters - black and white etc. Put your bio to on this for a laugh and lastly take pictures of yourself like a precessional photographer bitches love rhat

Forgot to add one last step:

Step 11. Fuck up on the date because you're actually really shit at meeting strangers.

Well how the fuck do expect us to help if you're posting in English and having Dutch in the picture. Fucking translate it and if you want advice, quit being a beta fag and have some confidence.

it is Dutch for "you haven't found any matches yet" "Discover new people"

Thanks man I can do most these things, I'm not fat so that helps(1.73M / 74kg). But I can definetly spice up the profile with your tips! I got suits and dogs :).

Haha I'm not actually that fucking awkward or bad at talking to people. It's just that I've been in a committed relationship for the last 5 years and now that i am finally done with that bitch I need to learn this Tinder shit.

I also recommend having a few allocated throwaway girls, the kind where you can fuck up the interaction and it doesn't matter.

Try different degrees of flirting, see what works and what doesn't. Best part of Tinder is you have a wide pool of girls to practice on, even if it's just your texting game.

Should I use this pic?

I hate these group pics. Are you the bottle, the bar stool or the shoe?

I am the candle behind the bottle and glass!

I have no problem getting matches, but it's just getting them to talk is the issue, and the girls who do reply some only give one word answers; what do I do to get them more involved in the convo ?

Honestly don't use this pic. Doesn't show your face, or body, anything really. I knew a girl who would post similar pics thinking it was 'mysterious'. Trust me it ain't. People want to know what they're getting.

Persist with talking for a bit and once they are more comfortable around you, they will open up more. Do the texting on the down time, when they're bored.

You could also challenge them. Be provocative.

Really think about the sort of messages this girl would get, try and be different. Think hard about what your genuine interests in her are, don't ask questions when you don't care about the answer.

If the camera is above her head facing down and you cant see her arms/shoulders shes a fatty 110%

Valid point thanks mate!

Koop wat nieuwe pattas mattie. Een paar sneakertjes.

Yeah I always try to ask questions I don't think anyone else would care about and I get engaged in the conversation but it just gets to the point where I'm struggling to even continue the conversation