G'morning user, hope you slept well. tell me why you will not KILL YOURSELF today

g'morning user, hope you slept well. tell me why you will not KILL YOURSELF today.

Might as well fuck a few more times before I die, eh?

I don't want to stink up the place yet.

I got shit I need to do man.

Starting a new job might as well give it a whirl

Because I do not have my dream motorcycle yet.

Girlfriend hasn't cucked me yet either.

So yeah, got things I want to do first

Well lets see...
>still a virgin
>signed for 35 year mortgage
>single
>lonely
>drinking problems
>depression
gee I dont OP, maybe today is the day actually?

Because I'm not willing to expend the effort it takes and because I'm not mentally strong enough to do it the painful/quick ways.
Plus, if I was actually willing to put effort into anything or try anything anymore, I'd like to think it'd at least be something positive first.

I hate myself so much, that I want to see me suffer.

What's your dream bike bruh?

Still got things to do. To contribute. To enjoy, to see and explore. Many a meme to witness birth of, many a time witness millhouse not ever becoming an meme. And also I'm only 12 so what is this, kindergarten?

I'm not killing myself for at least 4 years because I plan to become the liberal steve bannon and run such a shitty fake internet campaign ill convince everyone that trump is running an illegal email server and matthew mcconaughey is going to make america alright alright alright again.

What's your girl look like?

Idk I told my parents I want to kill myself last night and it kind of made me feel bad so I'm in a slightly motivated mood for the first time in a while

i'll be travelling in 2017 so maybe after that?

I have watched too many movies with sappy gay endings and I am too hopeful as a person to kill myself, even though I know I will never be truly happy with my life or myself as a person

>great wife
>child on the way
>good social life, many friends
>good job
>several vacations every year

Seriously, why would I? Life is awesome.

Why go through all the effort.

Video games are compelling enough to keep me alive.

Where you going? I've been wanting to travel lately

>child on the way
I give it a year, 2 max before you have that noose around your neck

I feel in dept for my mother, she raised me and my sister basically alone, and it would a real dick move from me if she had to bury me...

good luck brother

Grow up, kid.

Eh fair enough

no u, stop lying on the internet to feel better about urself

No

Waiting till after christmas and shit so I can just kinda disappear

Work yourself to death. If you survive you'll have money to kill yourself with drugs and hookers.

had a pretty successful tinder date last night.
don't see why I should just go out now?

You talk like a man.

Have enough hope for the future so that I don't go and buy a gun and shoot myself.

because looking at you makes me feel better about myself :^)

Parents already lost a daughter to a car crash, another one to drugs. I feel like it'd be unfair to make them lose another child.

Where the fu king grills?

seeing if 2017 can kick my ass just as hard as 2016

That's the spirit. Give those fuckers grandkids while they're still alive.

>bringing an entire existence onto this shitty planet so he can have a depressing life like you

Cry more bitch faggot. Not everybody is miserable as you.

Got shit that needs to be done before im gone, at some point though, soon

I am happy and provide an honorable and good service to the world as a counselor.
My family is made up of good people trying to improve the world, I would not wish to cause them the pain and loss of taking my own life
have you ever seen a pair of firm tits, poised inches from your face, open and inviting for all forms of consensual molestation? if that isnt a reason to stay alive, i dont know what is. If you havent, thats an even better reason to stick around.
and hell, ive got a whole planet to see and my species to watch explore the solar system and beyond. Goddamn if the advances in medical and space technologies keep growing, the world will be a dramatically different place in 20 years. Im trying to see that shit

Still trying to leave the country.

ah I see you ordered a number three

Gotta be at work later :/

Tomorrow might get better, I'm holding out hope

The world is worth fighting for

I told her once, when got really drunk at the age of 15, that if not her I'd kill myself, only reason I'm still alive is idea of how heartbroken she would be in case of my suicide. got slapped across the face then hugged really hard and passed out from the booze.

Your kid is going to grow up to be a huge ugly faggot just like dad

There was a previous suicide thread. I'll say the same shit I did there.

I don't enjoy this. I've been living with depression for quite some time.

But shit, I ain't got no reason to kill myself.

i'm waiting for my mom to die so she doesn't have to bury her child.

>I'm married to a beautiful woman who's my best friend
>we have an active and satisfying sex life
>I have three wonderful kids I adore
>I live in a comfortable home, drive a nice car and own both
>I have a well paying job I find fulfilling
>I work with nice people who respect me
>I have a fairly affluent lifestyle but live well within my means
>I'm on pace to retire in my 50s
>I'm in good overall health
>My credit rating is over 800

This

Not going to leave my toddler alone with his bipolar mother.

I hope you find out you have cancer soon, all your finances are drained to treat it before you die early anyway and leave nothing to your family.

And yes, it's because I'm jealous. Fuck you.

Was diagnosed with congestive heart failure around a year ago...each day is a struggle as to whether I want to just let nature "take it's course" or teach that rude bitch a lesson about fucking with me and blow my own head off...

Out of sheer curiosity, OP.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it prevents me from offing myself

holy shit. Kailin Currans child is a fucking glob