Can we get a crazy stories thread goin? I've already got cancer so the other threads are boring to me

Can we get a crazy stories thread goin? I've already got cancer so the other threads are boring to me.

>Be me back in highschool, 15
>Right before christmas break (NE Ohio, its cold as fuck that year)
>Hanging with friends during 1st period, excited for the break so we can chill and smoke weed
>Look out window at light snowfall
>See janior climbing on roof to fix some heating equipment
>"Hey guys, what if we climbed ontop of the school during the break?"
>Friends around me, call them Mike and Dave, think its a good idea
>(we were into "parkour" at the time like a bunch of 15yrold fags right when it was getting popular online)
>Teacher yells at us for not paying attention to her lesson
>We all hated her. All had solid A's in her class, it was just boring as fuck
>This is important for later on

cont? The story is kinda long and I don't wanna write out the whole thing unless someone is gonna enjoy it

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=p38zUOyHWVQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

No. You ARE the cancer.

Ohio bro here continue

bumping for slight interest

bored and tired, cont

Fuck off

Bookmarked

Pizza just came in, others should be a bit faster

>Half-hearted pay attention to lesson, pretty much doze through classes, waiting for school to end so we can plan our climb to the roof (only had 1st period with Mike and Dave)
>School ends, all 3 walk a few minutes in snow to Mike's house to plan
>Decide to wait until Saturday night when school would be completely empty (teachers still come in on weekdays even during break)
>Know the perfect spot to get up initially using a bike rack to help
>After that roof is multi-leveled with ladders letting maintenance to go up/down when they need to fix stuff
>Agree to meet up on Saturday night to do this
>Saturday comes around, snowy as fuck and cold as shit, ice everywhere
>All meet out back of school by the bikerack, really dark, thankfully streetlights illuminate enough for us to see but someone from a distance would have a hard time picking us out

>Our builds as their important for the next part:
>Mike: Tall (5'11'') skinny fuck who likes climbing shit
>Me: Slightly shorter (5' 9'''), also skinny and a bit more muscle than Mike
>Dave: Huge motherfucker at (6'1'') and fat as shit (often called him Big Dave)
>Mike goes first, he's a tall (6ft), skinny fuck who likes climbing shit so he gets up easily despite ice being on the bike rack
cont.

k

Friend, there already is a cure for cancer:

youtube.com/watch?v=p38zUOyHWVQ

You don't have to die

moar

cont

what cancer you got op? are you still virgin? have you ever seen boobs? how long they given you?

cont

hi. how did mike grow in that short space of time?

>Didn't think this through initially, Dave may have a hard time getting up there since he's a fat fuck and all
>Decide dave should go next, mike pulling him up and me pushing from behind
>dave gets on bikerack and puts hands on ledge of roof
>Tries to be a big man and pull himself up solo
>Too fat doesn't work
>Dave now huffing "fine guys.. huff.. huff.. you gotta help lift the lard i guess... huff.."
>Laughing with him as Mike grabs his hands and I try to use my hands as platforms for him to boost-up on
>Dave goes to shift weight from bikerack to me
>Mike pulls, slightly loose grip
>she's_too_fat_for_me.nope
>Dave slips on icy bikerack, falls, narrowly misses crushing my ass beneath his fat
>Fall to ground, scraped up to hell laughing my ass off
>All remember we aren't allowed to be doing this, try to quiet down but chances are somebody saw/heard us
>ohwell.jpg
>Dave decides to try to bring a big trashcan he saw half a block down to get himself up
>I climb up with ease and am standing up there with Mike chatting for a bit while we wait for dave
cont.

Continue climbanon

cont

Continue parkour boy

>Be me
>13 or 14
>Smoke weed and also sell it at the time
>In my friends apartment
>1am its pitch black out
>Have 18" Bio beaker bong
>Go onto the deck of the apartment to smoke a few bowls
>Friends apartment
>Other friend texts me, he ran away from home and wanted to chill
>"Sure"
>Comes over
>Buys a gram off me, I offer to smoke him up so he leaves his gram on the couch
>We mix tobacco and weed in our bowls
>Friend takes two bowls
>Starts acting weird
>Asks for water
>Get him water
>Motherfucker starts puking into the half dranken cup of water
>I shit you not he puked until it started overflowing
>Puke all over himself
>He ran away from home so he wants to crash at the apartment
>Mr. Pukey didn't smell too good
>Give him a blanket and he passes out on the balcony
>His mom, dad and a cop show up
>First floor balcony, they can see him lying there
>Think he overdosed on hard drugs
>4 more cops show up
>Had 2 bongs and a quarter ounce in the apartment
>Parents and cops want to search the place
>Cop climbs up balcony
>We tell him to fuck off
>comes in anyways
>ohshit.jpeg
>realize the kids gram is still sitting on the couch
>Cop looks around apartment
>friend makes sure he doesnt go down the hall and find the stuff
>2 paramedics show up
>another cop comes in
>totally think we're fucked
>friend who's apartment it was hides the gram before the cops notice
>paramedics take other friend out in a wheelchair
>cops ask for my name and phone number
>Prior to this I had smoked around an eigth
>Right blasted out of my mind
>give them fake name and my real phone number
>ohfuck.mp4
>havent called me since
>moving soon. gg

Fucked up the post initially forgot to delete it, my bad, point is mike is pretty much 6ft

>Mike and I chatting, enjoying the scenery/ christmas lights that are up
>Dave finally gets his trashcan and gets himself up with both of us pulling
>Finally
>We climb 2 sets of ladders to get to the 3rd-level roof (three story school, roughly a city block in size)
>Staring out over the small town, lights all up, snow flying, car driving by
>Beautiful.jpg
>Try to be careful to avoid the edge near major roads since someone could see us
>Dave:"Man its so nice up here, too bad this place is a shithole"
>We bust up laughing
>Conversation turns towards our teachers
>Eventually arrive at our first period teacher, Ms. F
>Mike: "She' such a bitch, god I can't wait until this year is over and we don't have to deal with her anymore"
>Me: "Guys you know her window is connected to the roof right? We could go over there and see if the window is open"
>(Her window had a sizeable bit of roof that we could walk over to and use to climb into the classroom)
In retrospect this was a bad idea but I was 15
cont.

will continue if interest

Go dude sounds fucked

Type faster user. My buzz is wearing off.

Not really much else to it but the ending was pretty fucking funny
>Paramedics and cops are all gone
>Friends mom (the apartment owner person) comes out
>"Turn the fucking TV down"
>TV wasnt even on
>"That wasn't the TV"
>Tell her what happened
>goes back to bed

no its ok. cheers tho

answer the sailor chick question op you niggwe

>Walk over to Ms. F's room very carefully
>We fall on our asses a few times since its icy as shit
>talking about what we could do that wouldn't fuck us over completely if we were caught but would still teach the old bag a thing or 2
>rearrange classroom? break stuff? hide things? didn't reach a consensus
>finally arrive at Ms. F's window
>"Its creepy as shit with the lights off user"
>Turns out window was properly locked, no way in aside from breaking that
>Big Dave is a wild cannon and thinks we should break it to get in, he really hates Ms. F., multiple suspensions from her
>niggayoucrazyasfuck.gif
>Calm Dave down and get him to realize its a bad idea
>Dave:"Well what should we do? we didn't come all this way to pussy out"
>Dave is right, we need a plan
>Being dumb 15yrolds, decide it'd be a great idea if we stuck our asses and dicks all over her window and pissed on it
>wonderful_idea.jpg
>We all do it, laughing our asses off the whole time
>Enjoyable time, we all high five and decide that's pretty much the high point of the night
>now time to go back and smoke some before passing out
cont.

fuck off to bed you boring cunt

I have many other stories from that time period but it wasn't really the best time of my life. Used to smoke weed just to pass time and then my supplier (also the person I was closest to in my life) died in a tragic car accident so i've really advanced as a person both spiritually and morally.
Pic related, Mario Rutschmann. The nicest person to ever live. may he rest in peace.

Kek

answer op nigga

op iz kike

answer op you faggot

sailor grill has spoken op

Bump
hurry upp!!!!!!!

this happened today:
>be me having a voucher for electronic store over 468 eur
>pick a notebook that costs 499 eur
>going to chechout, expecting to pay 31 eur
>girl in the checkout: "ive never done this voucher thing, let me ask a workmate
>workmate comes and tells her: "you just take the difference between voucher and price"
>big surprise
>she does mental math and says: "so its 21 eur"
>i say: "yes, ecaxtly" with a big smile.. as a joke
>the workmate: "do it again"
>she does mental math again and says: "its 21 eur"
>workmate: "exactly"
>i pay 21 eur, leave the store and laugh my ass off

fuck OP and this shitty board

Lung cancer from cigs, not too much to talk about there, seems to be under control for now according to the doc

>We treck back the way we came in back until we get to the 2 ladders again, all in all its been ~45mins since we started from the bikerack
>Right before we start heading down the ladders
>WEEEEWHOOOWEEEEWHOOO
>red and blue flashes
>deargodno.jpg
>We scramble back from the edge and wait to see what comes around the corner
>Cop car, cruising by slowly looking around the school
>someone must've heard us climbing up, cop isn't looking at the roof thankfully, must not know we're up here
>we wait up there for a solid 15mins
>no sign of the cop since then
>decide its a good idea to head down
>Mike gets down easily, so does Dave with Mike's help keeping the trashcan steady
>I'm the last one, really afraid of jumping down since I broke my ankle as a little kid jumping from a similar height
>plus its icy as fuck which only adds to the fear
>Mike and Dave: "Come on dude, lets go before someone shows up"
>Psyching myself up to try to climb down slowly
>Some car turns to conrner with brights on
>No idea if it was the cop, no time to sit around and ask
>"DUDE NOW!"
>Mike and Dave takeoff running
>shitnigga.why
>Fuck it, jump and barely hold my balance as I stumble and regain footing
>Take off down the road after Mike and Dave, car is following us, red and blue flashing
>nonononono.jpg
not over yet boys

Ooh shit !

pls cont.

Keep going op

>Dave's already on probation for weed, Mike's got a bad rep with authority in general, I plan on applying to ivy league shit, none of us really want to be caught
>We all bolt, racing down nearest alleyway trying to lose the cop
>Stays on us pretty well despite it being narrow alleys and icy
>We finally jump a fence into a yard once we lose cops' line of sight
>Wait a solid 5mins until we can't hear him anymore, luckily dude who owned the house never came outside
>Jump back over fence, bolt to Mike's which is a few minutes away
>Smoke and try to relax, can't get us now

>Few weeks later once school starts up
>Talk of some kids climbing on the roof of the school
>Apparently our dicks left marks on Ms. F's window, had to be scraped off, also smelled like urine and had to be cleaned
>School just embarrassed about the whole thing, install security cameras around the bike rack/ rest of the school to be sure no one can climb up there again
>Ms. F spent the rest of the year trying to figure out who it was
>Too many people hated her, she suspected us but never pinned anything on us, always tried to overhear our conversations to see if she could catch us
>never did
>graduate high school, no one ever found out aside from the 3 of us

good times

kek

Nice