Sup Forums, sell me this pen

Sup Forums, sell me this pen.

Buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

No. You sell Sup Forums that pen

jfc /thread

Stick a pen up your pooper.
>He has no pen.
*Shrug*

thats what im talking about, all nuns are lesbians

You now don't have one, and you need a pen.

No, I need it.

fuck

thats just wrong man

But why?

Because if you don't buy this pen, I will use said pen to stab your mother to death in her sleep tonight

Gather round Ladies and Gentlemen,
What you see before you is a marvel of modern mathematics and science, a true revolutionary product. This pen here, crafted from the finest metals and the most luxurious soft rubbers, will delight the senses when used. The pliable, soft rubber feels like you are writing with a truly well crafted instrument. The jet black India ink flows smoothly from the fine pointed tip, its ink distribution on paper is second to none. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my personal guaranty that this pen here will last you one whole year without ever needing to replace it. This comes with my very low price of just one single dollar!

I will torture you and kill all who you love if you dont buy this pen.

...

>guaranty

Sorry, I only buy from people who can spell guarantee.

>Hey, do you want to buy this pen for ten cents?
>Yea, fuck it; why not?
>Sold.


Done

Check this get and buy this pen.

I can has get?

you can have this pen for one penny. I got it for free so I don't give a shit.

Kill yourself.

ONE OFF

That doesn't make me want to buy that pen, user.

Who got it?

Well... It isn't THE get, but it's A get. Nice dubs.

Thanks, fam

Ay you buy dis pen I give you Spiderman 2 on DVD for free eh?

You ruined it, moron.

The pen is blue... the pen is blue...

THE GODDAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!

>you see this pen huh?
>you want this pen huh?
>i have a pen huh?
>you want me to give it to you huh?
>i will give it to you huh?
>but you have to sign this contract huh?
>but you need a pen huh?
>buy this pen huh?

Sold

I will giv u the sukk if u buy dis pen

Jussepe get to eat good tonight eheheh.

Hey faggot, you dont get any pussy do you? what if i told you that this pen, not that piece of shit...
>Tosses shitty ballpoint pen at the wall
Could get you ALL the pussy you want. eh?
This pen is MAGIC baby, I've owned it for a week and i've had sex with 28 different women while its been in my possession.

Now what do you say champ? Interested?

Why don't you take that fucking pen and shove it up your ass ya jagoff

You fucking piece of shit, why the fuck should you use a pen like a degenerate. It's 2016 everyone has a fucking laptop or a cellphone which you can type shit on and draw with. You don't need this pen unless you're completely autistic and deserves to die you fucking autistic spasm. You know, just to lift you of the burden to reading this shit to get me to sell that pen I'm going to buy this pen myself and throw it of a cliff.

SOLD!

If I get dubs, you buy this pen.

If I don't, I post my cock.

You don't want that pen

It was always ruined, friend

Good on ya, user.

Sold

W-wanna buy this pen?..

i'll buy

I'd buy a pen if someone used that reference as a pitch.

But that's my pen

Why buy a pen when you can buy a pencil?

>implying that wasnt the old timey snake oil salesman way of saying it which, being conveniently mispelled, allowed a salesman to get out of lawsuits

I present to you the pen. The dual tool you can use anywhere you choose. You can write with it AND you can fuckin' take out the ink stem and butt end and there you have it.... your personal straw. Don't waste your time, buy two tools for the price of one, you could save a ton!

...

Shit, OP you gotta

damn

I like my pen better op.

Post cock anyway

no, not implying that at all. IMPLYING that I don't buy from snake oily cunts like you.
Impligni implogno