Feels thread

Feels thread

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>Be me
>Wake up this morning
>Mom tels me my grandpa died in Hospital 5hours ago
>His oldest son (19yo) Got in his car and hasnt been seen al day.
>Youngest son (10yo) Now has no biological parent in sweden.
>By law .. He will be deported to Tailand to his mom.
>His daughter (30yo) Worked at the hospital and saw him get rushed to the Emergency room and then to the morgue.

Whats wrong bro?

>miss my ex gf
>don't have a purpose in life
>smoke joints everyday, at every hour
>feel lonely and alone
fuck it all

>be me
>trying to get my life together, 2 months sober
>have cops at my house today about a bullshit case from when I was using
>step mom who was sober for years started drinking again. At first she was hiding all her empty bottles in her room but now she's more public about it. Has gone through half a bottle of wine in the last day and hasn't been going to work
>wouldn't be too worried about it but I have half sisters who are 4, 6, and 10 and they're gonna have to deal with the shit too
>I'm just trying to fight my way to success. I've enrolled in college and have been working at a bakery to make money to pay for it

Shits hard man, it really bothers me but I know all I can do is have faith and make myself a better person.

> 3 years ago
> be me, 21
> little bro, A, 19
> A gets a bearded dragon, mom freaks out but he doesn't care. Him and the dragon become inseparable, took him everywhere. Grocery stores, game stores, social events, other people's houses etc. He even let his bearded dragon sleep in his bed with him
> "I know mom isnt too happy I got a reptile, but all in all it was worth it because spending time with him gives me joy."
> A begins to work as well as school plus a gf
> Lived at home for 1 week, then at gf's for 1 week, rinse and repeat
> Gf breaks up with A after 2.5 years, A starts to go out even more to who knows where
> No matter how much time he spent away from home, he always spent time with his bearded dragon on his shoulder or stomach
> September 3rd, 2013
> A went out late at night (he did this regularly, assumingly to help get his mind off of his ex)
> Next morning I get a call from my dad at work
> Tells me A got into an accident last night, drunk driver T-boned driver side at 65 mph, my brother died, my heart sank to my toes
> No one in my family liked reptiles, they wanted to get rid of his dragon, I tell them no and take care of him just like A did. His dragon loves turnip greens and blueberries.
> Fast forward to a month ago
> Dragon isn't doing too good, vets think it's some kind of internal infection, gives me antibiotics to help clear it up
> He gets better and begins to become active once more
> 4 days ago
> Dragon starts acting sporadic, runs around tank headbutting the glass, endlessly running around and around take him out and he calms down. Goes to the edge of the tank (he does this when he wants back in).
> Put him back in and he begins acting strange once more.
> Take him out and on my chest, lay down and cover him with a blanket, A used to do this all the time to put him to sleep
> Wake up the next day and put him in his tank so I can go to work

> Come home and pet him on his basking rock, he's unresponsive, no twitch, no turn of the head to look at me, nothing
> He's dead, my brother's dragon is dead.

He loved that dragon with all his heart, and so did I. The last piece of my brother is gone Sup Forums. I swore to never touch alcohol again after what happened to A, but there's a hole in my heart I haven't felt in 3 years, I've drank every night since Merlin (the bearded dragon's name) died. I miss my little brother Sup Forums.

That won't help bro. Drinking never really helps anything. I'm sorry about your brother. You'll make it through one day at a time.

Family losses are the hardest to adapt to. You'll never be better user, you just learn to deal with the pain
At least you're improving! Keep it up, at least one Sup Forumstard thinks you can make it
This. What's on your mind op?

I know it wont. Only time can. But damn it hurts