Party stories thread

Party stories thread

>be me
>party hard as a mofo (so this story is from friends perspective)
>04:00 am black out drunk with bro
>pulling out mailboxstands from the ground and hulk throwing them out in the streets
>fast forward to 04:30 smoking in an alley
>still no memory
>police pull up
>cliche cop comes over to us
>fat, mad and ugly
>"only two kinds of people walk around these parts, police and criminals"
>i reply with "im still waiting for the second type of person" mfw
>he got mad and started searching us
>i had weed on me so i paniced
>kicked the cop in the knee and yelled "goodbye mr. pigman" as i fucking bolted out of there
>10/10 weekend

wow.

you are real cool.

ITT: Things that never happened.
/Thread

I kissed my gf on the cheek before we both drifted away in sleep while our bodies became one.

have own

>be me
>on the party
>2 friends with
>very much drink an alcohol
>very much fire the weed
>neighborhood is no goodness
>very much bad man at the party
>bad man be pirates
>there is big fight to start one half through
>man has pirates made mad
>man has pirates have the gun
>priates shoot the gun at the man
>man has the gun also
>big gun is fight in the party
>be on the hide behind chair so hope not to become shoot
>become alive how dont know
>millitary police is on the near
>arrive the party to shoot the pirates with the gun
>millitary police dont arrive
>every one has been left the party
>am the last
>return to the home
>most wild time in my one whole life

>Sup Forums
>friends

pick one you fucking tard

>goodbye mr pigman
fake or not, I still laughed

what the fuck did i just read

I can't tell if this is real or not but I am laughing my ass off, what the fuck man

I really hope this is real, god bless you user

>be me
>wearing a cool party shirt
>just doing me
>being relaxed and enjoying myself
>girl randomly pulls down my pants and starts deep-throating my dick on the staircase
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>host's father walks past and sees it
>friend walks past and sees it
>we stop and go to the washroom
>have sex on the washroom floor but i can't really get it up for some reason via intimacy issues
>friends later imitate my shirt game

cool party bro

man i miss having friends

nice

oh shit checked

...

>>girl randomly pulls down my pants and starts deep-throating my dick on the staircase
things that never happened for 800, alex
>daily double

plot twist it was actually the father blowing you

>be me
>drinking at home with friends
>boring, decide to take car
>drive to another city
>gets pissed at club, black out
>wake up, we want to get home
>friends puking, drink some more
>black out
>wake up, 100km/h into roundabout
>flying with car, almost crashed
>pretty good driver when drunk
>flat tire, drink some more
>how we get home? dont know, more vodka ok
>5 minutes later, cops pulls up behind
>we ask what they want
>they ask how the fuck we got the car here
>we dont know, everybody was sleeping
>"well someone drove the car"
>we dont know
>got alot of beer and vodka in car, so i crack a beer, the police was not happy
>black out, wake up and im changing tire, the owner is gone
>policeman is angry already, "you know who drove the car? easy answer, yes or no"
>"can i say maybe?"
>thats when they took him in, he was pretty fucked up too
>black out
>i wake up at home
>wallet lost, apparently the police had it
>went there, got it, license there
>yeah pretty good

couple of weeks later, i was so fucked up blackout i broke into a car

this is now a get thread

if you drink and drive you deserve castration, get a fucking cab you moron, or use public transport

This is some of the most broken speech I have ever read, I commend you on your complete butchering of the English language

yeah it was awesome
only happened to me a couple of times, back in the day

oh shit lmao
ugh it was my friend's ex though

i used to be really sexy
girls would randomly start sucking my dick, follow me into the washroom to have sex, take me home to cheat on their boyfriends with me. been "raped" while too drunk to get it up a few times. damn, i forgot how sexy i was

>pirates
>millitary police

where the hell did you come from

>most wild time in my one whole life

>be danish 17yo
>living in mexico working as a programmer cause I'm alpha as fuck
>living dat tequila and taco life
>also be gay
>drink tequila with a friend
>go to gay bar
>friend of a friend has bought a table
>party with them
>black out
>fast forward
>wake up in a bed with super white sheets, the room has white walls, white floor, white curtains, good air conditioning, giant flat screen
>I figure I must be at a motel, has happened b4
>a chubby ugly mexican lays beside me
>i'm wearing a opened shirt and nothing else
>wtf.jpg
>see that I'm laying beside the oldest part-bald poodle dog
>realize this isn't a motel
>ugly mexican wake up
>I recognize him as the dude who bought the table
>I ask wtf happened
>He tells me that I left the club and then hours later they found me sleeping in the street
>WTF!!!!
>I freak out and get outta there
>When I get out in the street I realize that I'm a few blocks from home
>Figure I took a cab, then felt bad just before I got home, got out and then fell asleep in the street - and the it happens that this fucker lives near me.
>GreatCoincidence.jpg
>I lost my phone
>The faggot wants to see me again, but I'm like NOPE
>no matter how drunk u is you always know what happened to ya dick
>I'm sure the fat mexican tried to suck my dick that night while I was passed out drunk
>I don't reply to his fb messages
>fast forward 2 months
>friend tells me to be careful who I send nudes to
>i realize wtf happened
>afraid they jizzed over me, put me in girls clothes, stuck banana up my ass and took pictures
>I go to his place
>beat him up
>find the photo on his phone
>happens it's only one photo, and it's not very bad.
>alpha as fuck
>except not, cos faggot and raped by fat mexican.
>still alpha though

>be me
>20th birthday party
>bitches making out in kitchen
>huge gaggle of dudes cheering them on.
> I walk in with more booze
>best friend passed out on floor in purple footy pjs.
>upon hearing that I have alcohol he wakes up
Context: I live in a mostly black neighborhood because poor fag. And fuck it, we got guns because south.
> bestie leaps from floor like some kind of sleeping bear that knows karate or some shit
>grabs bottle of mc cormicks grain alcohol
>big bottle too. Cuz im not a bitch.
>proceeds to chug half
> screams and runs outside
>he's like lightning
>his got a pillowcase on his head.
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>he starts running down the street screaming fuck niggers at 2am wearing purple footy pajamas and a pillow case on his head with half a gallon of booze.
>He comes back after 15 mins with a black guy
>black guy wants to party too.
> mfw he made friends with my black neighbor by calling nigger

Keep this thread alive b/rothers. I want to read more fairytailes

Ayy Mac DeMarco

>be me
>17
>Drinking rum and whiskey with friends
>Holy fuck I'm drunk
>Decide to take a leisurely stroll at 3am
>Great idea guys
>Let's split up and see who can come back with the coolest thing
>Several hours pass and we all meet in woods behind my home
>Friend 1 comes back with a deer decoy
>Friend 2 comes back with an orange traffic barrel, lights are still flashing
>Friend 3 returns with 2 grocery bags filled with over 100 mail box flags
>Friend 4 a mailbox
>Friend 5 a concrete dog statue weighing in at over 100pds
>I returned with a door
>Overall pretty good night
For a few years after that we did the same thing a few times a year, but the first night was probably the best.

Too bad he didn't shoot you...
Party on , Garth

I have a new one
>be danish 15yo (first time I lived in Mexico)
>get shit drunk
>only fucked girls, but realized I'm gay
>end up in a party with +30yos
>get shitfaced
>some +33yo is charming
>get me shitfaced
>start making out
>ends up on roof bent over
>ass hurts
>I get to cum in his eye
>goodtimes.jpg
>wake up next morning
>paranoid about having gotten aids
>mfw I lost my gayinity to a grown man
>mfw I realize he's a pedophile

seriously what the fuck user

On a scale of one to ten, this user is foreign as fuck.

>girlfriends friend throwing a party cus parents gone for week blah blah
>Ment to be like 20-30 people
>Entire school ended up at her house
>Someone smashed the TV attached to the wall
>roughly 200 kids outside all of the sudden except me and passed out gf because we were upstairs previously fucking in her friends bathroom

>Drunk af

> lifted couch cushions

> shit inside couch

>toss that motherfuckin seat right back on like a turd sammich

>Went back upstairs and passed out next to my gf

Nobody found it until the next day and nobody knows who did it to this day lmao

mfw

Screencap when?

lol'd hard

Cool story bro.

>Be me
>Pulled over by ego tripping cops
>Cops is acting like a cowboy
>Out of nowhere I tell him ' You know, you are alone, if someone pull out a gun you wouldnt be able to save yourself '
>Get out of it laughing with him about it
>He get shot 2 weeks later
>survived
>Get executed in his patrol car 2 days ago

A good cop is a dead cop. I would shit on his grave.

working on it

Put me in the cap

...

>Be me
>20 yo white male
>In D.C.
>2:00 AM
>At a Friends Weed legalization party
>Am getting dick sucked on second story
>Look out window
>Feds roll up
>Ohshit.jpg
>But this feels so GEWD!
>Hits blunt.
>Continues watching feds as one of my friends goes outside to talk to them
>Still getting dick sucked
>Girl has no idea whats happening.
>I'm getting close to orgasm
>My friend outside looks distraught and raises his arms in frustration.
>I hit the blunt again
>Watch feds wrestle friend to the ground and cuff him
>OHSHIT.JPG
>Orgasm furiously as he is being put in the squad car.
>Take one more hit off the blunt, run to my clothes and dress rul quick.
>Dip out the fire escape. in the back as the house is getting raided.
>10/10 night

>

Good cap.
Proud hundres

ty
have another caped by me

I laughed myself in a wheelchair

I can't tell if you're a piece of ghetto trash with a second grade education or if this is just for the meme

The best one is probably one of the best nights of my life.

>17
>Find out there is no school on friday
>Lets go smoke that weed
>We go to my friends house
>2 people were new to weed there and we all rally to the garage to light up the bong
>One of the new guys takes a hit and walks away
>We're all high af so we don't notice him
>Keep smoking for some hours
>"Where the fuck is Jim?"
>We hear a voice behind us
>"GuuUuuuUuuuYyyyYs... I CaaAAaaAaant FeeeEeeEeeel my leeegs..."
>We all stare at him for a couple of seconds before starting laughing like crazy
>We carry him eventually inside and stuffs him next to a wall
>He passes out while we're fucking around in the house, eating chips just chilling.
>A meter long horse doll start to fly everywhere and we toss it around, laughing like idiots
>All of a sudden the guy who had the house ran into the bathroom and started to puke
>We just laugh like crazy
>After a while he tosses himself out of the door, only his upper body showing on the floor outside the door frame
>"DON'T TOUCH THE FUCKING CHIPS!!!"
>Makes us just laugh even harder.
>Jim wakes up but then passes out again
>Makes us laugh even harder
>We take a toy cross bow and starts to shoot him with it while the home owner is still puking
>Makes us laugh even harder
>Then towards the end we impersonated a news report
>Made us laugh even harder when we came to the lottery numbers
>Everyone sleeps
>We wake up to Jims girlfirends friends making us pancakes upstairs.

Fuck this website

Get me in the screencap bois

i know exactly what you mean bro
used to happen to me all the time a few years ago

REMOVE THIS

updated

k