ITT: Post actual shit you've done that nobody else knows. Preferably sexual.
I'll go first
Used to use household objects as dildos when growing up at home. sharpies. small flashlight. glowsticks, a spinning disk of LEDs in a ball that vibrated, a chair leg once, a maglight, a aluminum baseball bat handle.
Post tits or vag of yourself or Sup Forums isn interested.
Fucked my Mother in Law
>no vagina here
didn't say my gender faggot.
You can feel free to assume either way
point of this thread is to post stories, idiot.
I've been at her place and she had to go for around 10min, but was still in reach. Couldnt hold back and searched through her stuff lying around. Cocked as much of her clothes as possible, highlight was a pair of bright panties. Nearly came into them but could hold back in time. Unfortunately that was the only chance I've ever had..
Tits or gtfo
You text like a female
>tits or gtfo
eat shit.
Not looking for attention. Not stating my gender. Looking for fucking stories. Literally. stories about fucking. Now get to work or gtfo you cancerous faggots.
I have a similar fetish but with food. "tastes salty! mmm"
both funny and a turn on
I used to play with my cousin, she was 8, I was 9, we played naked touching our bodies, we even used to shower together, so we had curiosity why i had a "stick" and she had a "hole", we only touched and talk about it but we did it a lot and nobody knew it, but nothing sexual apart from that, inb4 some faggot will say it's fake, but hey, if you want to believe me do it, if not then I don't give a fuck
did that effect how you feel about nudity later in life?
Me and my cousin always thought it was something natural, and we were both very unite, we were like brother and sister so we did not have shame, I still think nudity is normal, I don't know why they censor tits and shit, there's a lot of taboos but that one is the one with least sense
Sage
I feel like the more you try to make something taboo the more the youth will revel and end up making something initially harmless suddenly harmful. "you shouldn't drink until you're 21. at all." alcohol abuse is rampant in young adults in the US. Most other countries actually allow minors to drink under supervision. way less taboo and less abuse in those places
Would have been a really good thread, OP. If you would have just started out with timestamped tits.
bunch of faggots who don't know how tits or gtfo works.
If he/she/it does not outright say they're a femanon then you don't get your wank material.
Sage
That's true, I think we need more sex education, (people will fuck anyways at whatever age they want to) so we have less young mothers, they don't know why they got pregnant in the first place just because her bf stuck out his penis before cumming (but there's also something called precum which can also get you pregnant), we have that as taboo just because some faggots are afraid to see a penis and a vagina and they think if kids see they will be future rapist or some shit
Sorry, clicked wrong ticket number, but you still get the idea
>If he/she/it does not outright say they're a femanon then you don't get your wank material.
I love how you believe the bullshit excuse. It's always been rule 31 and nothing more. Sage
OP here
I'm a faggot. You're all faggots for demanding tits. I'm a man you retards. I shouldn't need to pull gender. Never stated my gender = you don't get to ask for tits.
I just wanted a thread where everyone has something to fap to. And you shit heads go ruining it by demanding tits when you don't have the right.
>Would have been a really good thread
yes it would have been had it not been for you faggots.
THERE ARE NO TITS. good night. Go fuck yourselves.
Timestamp and all.
Doing it wrong
I used to let my dog fuck me in the ass while I jacked off. I never feel gay or have gay tendencies. I was just a horny teenager
>I'm a man
>I just wanted a thread where everyone has something to fap to.
The internet is a rough place user. Now if you don't mind, pic plus timestamp.
seriously. Where are you "tits or gtfo" faggots in the threads that actually need it. where a outright admitted femanon is getting the attention she is fishing for. I see a million of those go by and maybe one person calls for tits.
But along comes a thread where you merely suspect OP might be femanon and holy shit. You're out in droves
hang on fucker
Sucked on my wifes dildo until i came
that's all you're getting faggot
now post a motherfucking story
A balls shot? Good enough.
Today OP wasn't a faggot...well, he is a faggot but...nevermind.
kek. I can't get it up rn and more of a grower than a shower. haven't even trimmed the hedges. wasn't planning on doing a timestamp today.
my original plan was to get hard and timestamp my dick for the lulz but that didn't work out.
Carried my drunk gf to the car because she was drunk af, she ended up puking on herslef so I stripped her down and threw her in the shower and then carried her to my bed and tried to put a shirt on her but fuck it too hard... She rolled over and spread her legs... LIGHT BULB, I go and get my lube and end up fucking her passed out pussy for a whole 5 min before busting like no other hahahaha wanted to do anal but she would know with a blown out asshole
Still doesn't know
pretty decent of you to do that much for her. I mean kinda shitty you drunk raped her but hey. It didn't even occur to you till she was in fucking position (literally).
I have done this, but with my sister
I had this knockoff iPod called an iRiver or something with an inbuilt recorder. Used to hide it in this spot under the bathroom vanity when female friends or my sister's friends where around so I could hear the sound of them shitting/pissing.
Haha right had to get rewarded some how
she knows. that or you're full of shit, or she didn't say anything out of shame
you have pics of you sis???
Sounded my urethra past the prostate and to the bladder sphincter with a piece of 3-core electrical flex
Tried electrostim, but it does nothing for me - I find it uncomfortably harsh
Managed to milk my prostate with a posidrive screwdriver handle
Made a vagina with an inflated condom and jar top then used it with lube - a bit harsh on the glans but orgasms were had
haha, fag
Naaa she doesn't know wiped her pussy of all the lube and went to sleep..
Next morning "user why am I naked bb?
Me: You puked last night from the bars so I threw you in a shower, have you ever tried putting a shirt on a lifeless body?
her: Truuuu
Never found out
Actually, no. Never touched another man and I'm married.
Just wanted to make some fap and edge sessions more.........interesting
I'm not putting them on here, no way do I want her recognized or get them traced to me
Watched my wife fuck my car while giving me a hand job
I bang tranny hookers
its not excuse, its fact
for centuries it was rule if they is femanon looking for attention its tits or gtfo
but op didnt state gender and it could be OP faggot putting things in the pooper and newfags jump right away to tits or gtfo
You must be new here.
What the fuck.
I had an english teacher that was pretty hot when i was 14, and a couple of times when she left to the bathroom, i used to lick inside the top of her water bottle
Go on! Your butthurt is making me hard.
He's fucking right you moron. Op was a fucking faggot. Point made
That is just sad
Scream for me! Louder!
It's not rape if it's your gf, dumbass.
...
It is if she wasnt willing. Can't give a verbal yes then can't be consenting. This isnt SJW bullshit. This is actually law. He could be charged with rape
>rule
by mail?? I have some of my sister
You are the Cancer here. Take your lame ass story time to another site.
My ex loved to be beaten. One day shes all drunk and tells me she wants to be beaten up before we fuck. I was hesitant at first, and the punch I threw was a bitch punch. She called me out on it, so I let one fly and her nose started gushing blood. I followed it up with a vicious hit to her gut and she doubled over. Hit her in the face two more times, and that last one was a winner because I knocked out two of her fucking teeth. Then as she lay there swollen and bloody, sobbing... I fucked her so hard. She went home and told her parents that she got jumped and robbed by some Mexicans. They took her to the hospital and filled out a police report. Had to have dental surgery. Told me it was the best thing that ever happened to her. We broke up anyway, because I refused to do it again.
Well by now Sup Forums knows, but I managed to still a whole folder full of my roommate's gf's nudes from his laptop. Fucking goldmine
pic very much related
your car? wtf!
All of those pics suck. You should feel bad.
Let's see you timestamp faggot I already did it. Read the fucking thread
>your car? wtf!
It's a troll post you numbnuts.
I think it was a pretty good story
>Fucked my Mother in Law
And she doesn't know?
What are you getting her for Christmas?
That's all I wanted. Gives me more to imagine your house hold objects story with.
>Let's see you timestamp faggot I already did it.
OP's right, he paid up. This fag is alright.
My first kiss with my step sister, our first kiss. Was like 10 maybe
Smells like nothing but slut whoors that'll all be joining Hitler in the burning sulfur lakes when fate calls upon each and every one of your meaningless expendable souls.
Nice!
Most electro stings have low settings that are like static. You get those?
On holiday when I was younger (8 or 9), I met this 10yo girl and we hung out in the kids club. We would show each other our genitals like it was a game then take turns touching each other.
We went to the kids club toilet and locked ourselves in for an hour touching each other until she told me to lie down and grinded me. I had no idea what was happening at the time
I had more than 3 people commit to leaving Earth forever.
Stickshift?
As a grad student I took one of my undergrads to a porn theatre, got an anonymous female eat her pussy and then had her suck my cock on a dias under a blacklight. Then we watched some guy orchestrate while a sequence of men fucked his wife.
It's a common kind of car. You need testicles in your brain to operate one correctly.
I took video once when my cute friend had uncontrollable gas after chickpea salad and sold it to an internet fart fetishist.
Well I was desperate for anything that would feel good. I think I first took a mag light when I was maybe 16. But it all started with a sharpie in the pooper. And that was even before I met Sup Forums. I think I first started Experimenting taking it anal around 14 or 15. I had to figure out how to get "clean" on my own. Once I had manage that I started fingering myself a lot. Used a lot of candles. I would go to class with makeshift but look makeshift but plugs in all day
Bullshit. I go to porn theaters all the fucking time and it's always just dudes there. Dude on dude faggot action.
Didnt say shit about a time stamp. I think you have me confused with someone else.
>I had more than 3 people commit to leaving Earth forever.
How did you do it? Did you promise them new shoes?
Is this a confession thread? Oh boy, I have a real dousey of a confession about messing with a 17 year old when I was a little boy.
One night my sister and her boyfriend came home while i was watching TV and they went into the kitchen to get some drinks. while in the kitchen they were doing their whole lovey dovey thing and kissing and playing grab-ass and what not, and it was unappealing to me, so i went up to my room. a few minutes later, i heard them enter into my sister's room and then some rustling occurred. i thought nothing of it, they were probably just making out again on her bed. then i heard her scream and i got worried so i ran over to her room, and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM!
I know what one is...i was guessing that is what was fucked because it seems to be the only way she could fuck car easily. You shouldn't need testicles or a brain to understand that comment.
I've masturbated with the panties and nylons of all my female cousins. If they were dirty, I came in them. If clean, just a dab of precum.
I began watching internet porn regularly at age 11.
Neither did I, I just wanted to point out that your own opinion doesn't always reflect the majority's.
>Cruise homosexual theatres and do not see heterosexuals
I can only speculate that we frequent different venues. Because, you know, pussy.
>...The sound of a single hand clapping...
at least you tied.
I know those tits!
Give me a min.
Kek how much did you get?
Do tell
Found it.
$10, it was shit footage but I knew a friend I had would be into it
Haha! I used candles once too.
When I was a kid there was a sandbox next to the laundry mat in my apartment complex and I saw a line of boys with their pants around their ankles getting sucked off by a little girl slightly older than us. I was in 4th grade probably.
I got in line with the 3 other boys with pants down and an adult came out of the laundry room and started yelling. Boys were falling over trying to run away with their pants partially down and trying to pull them up I hopped the fence and immediately went to my mom and made up a story saying that I was just in the sandbox not doing anything wrong...
Basically telling I myself before I could get told on. To my knowledge nothing was ever said. Ended up moving to the Midwest months later. Never saw any of those kids ever again.
having internet/pr0n existing at the age of 11
fucking spoiled kids nowadays.
we had to trade SVCDs at school for 2 bucks per disk. because there was not more than one kid able to even burn shit on a CD.
>11
the age I lost my virginity
My 16yo neighbor became my slut for an entire summer. She tried so hard to prove herself, and I just kept pushing her further. Nothing better than seeing her reach back and help me get my cock into her ass. She moved away after that summer, but I like to think the next guy who got to have her was secretly thanking me.
Gotcha.
stale/10