Quick /b how do i get rid of a body. i mean no traces, not dump it in a ditch

quick /b how do i get rid of a body. i mean no traces, not dump it in a ditch.

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Crabs

Go to Jamaica.

Pigs

get sulfuric acid
dissolve it
youll have a lump of carbon though
but that can just be thrown away

I live in a city, so those are not options.

>no trace
fucking idiot

where do i get sulfuric acid from?

car battery

buying mass quantities alerts authorities im sure.

1. remove: teeths
2. burn finger prints
3. make the body unidentifiable
4. dig a huge hole in the middle of nowhere
5.put every thing relates to the body (clothes, accesory, body parts) in bags
6. throw the bags in the hole
7. throw some gasoline in that hole on the bags and burn everything
8. put the dirt back in place to covee the hole
9. you need to put seeds on that dirt to make it look good
10. you buy wolf piss on internet and throw this all around the place you buried the body so no police dog can smell the body

11. drink a good whisky and celebrate

Olive Garden

cut it into pieces in your bathtub faggot, geez. Cut off the limbs at the articulations obv, regular kitchen knife. pour bleach in the tub when you're done so even if you get CSI'd the dna evidence will be too damaged to analyze.

dark, moist caves. they'll foster bacteria growth.

its that shit only like 30%

seems likely

>blood in your personal tub at home
>tainted evidence will absolve you
not how culpability works. people get convicted with corrupted evidence all the time. juries dont give a fuck.

Once met a guy who had a weed plantation and he bragged that he buried a dude out in the country who was tresspassing - apparently dumping lime on the body before burying is better than burning. Lime the corrosive stuff, not the citrus obviously

Good God in the city is even better than the country. Fill tub with water and bleach. Dump the body in for an hour. Pull the body out, put it in a trash bag and seal with duct tape. Place package in a cardboard box... take off your Amazon Prime Label first... and wheel on down to the dumpster. CSI is bullshit. If they ever even find the body... they won't be able to trace it back to you. It's like people don't even kill hookers anymore.

youtube.com/watch?v=JyR0xjCFb3g
youtube.com/watch?v=ppmeZjj2j9o

not a bad idea you got there

9 and 10 are shit but 1 is so important.
put the body in the hole, cover it with a few layers of dirt, then put the body of a dead animal on top and fill the rest of the hole. false positive and profit.

Watch Breaking Bad

No DNA tho, evidence wouldn't be traceable. Decent lawyer would not allow the tub blood to be admissable in court.

obviously.

thanks friend user

thanks for the +

I just wrote what I remembered from an old post but was not quite sure about it

Dig hole really deep, put body+all other objects in. Fill up to about 2 ft. from surface then put a dead house pet like a dog or a cat in there. The police will find the hole, but rule a false positive, due to the dead animal.

Not much in car batteries Im afraid, however
So a few....

...

Burn with high octane fuel. You will have to make a makeshift 'oven' you could use sheet metal. This will hold the heat in to get it hot enough to completely burn. Just to be sure take through ashes with hard rake and collect any small pieces of bone, teeth, metal ect and scatter in remote/inaccessible place of your choosing.

>implying any of us could afford "a decent lawyer"
>implying juries will give a shit
imagine if your wife thinks you're molesting your daughter. does it really matter if you get a DNA test to confirm the semen on her panties doesn't belong to you? not anymore. the damage is done. now imagine that x12 and you have yourself your atypical jury experience.

light body on fire,this way they dont have to pay for em to get cremated

In a hypothetical situation like the one I am replying to:

There is no "quick" way without having procured the required items ahead of time. Dealing with the body and the clean up process requires more information. Is the corpse damaged? Is there bodily fluids / blood to take care of? Was the crime scene in your home or somewhere else?

A lot of this information is important when considering your options on what to do with said hypothetical dead body.

Whoever you killed dump them at home steal some valuable things set the house on fire
Police will think it was a home invasion gone wrong

P.s. shouldnt have to say this but dont keep the valuables dump them somewhere 10-15 miles away from both of you

kek

now what this deal with a carbon block?

well no body fluids leaking, OD. but i can still get sent up for this shit.

mods

>does it really matter if you get a DNA test to confirm the semen on her panties doesn't belong to you?
absolutely does, yeah. Not saying they couldn't destroy your credibility but if the semen profile is analyzable and doesn't match you then you're breddy much off the hook, no?

i dont even buy christmas gifts for my family. why would i give a shit how affordable the cremation is for their family?

Itd be similar to a reaction with sugar...
Sugar gets dehydrated to form a giant carbon block

So the body burglar breaks in, steals some valuables, brings them 10-15 miles away, then comes back, to mysteriously die in a fire? Foolproof.

faggot

Dont be a retard youre setting it up to look like it was a home invasion they struggled they died you paniced so you set the house on fire to destroy the evidence

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

relevant here.

burn it smash the bones

uhhh shes some bitch I barley knew. pumped herself full of shit in my bathroom, have "other" shit going on and can't have the cops poking around. so this fake b&e isn't possible.

great. so you'll have tiny shards of forensic evidence WITH intact DNA for identifying the body instead of one single piece. regular einstein over here.

we're not breaking any laws here. we're just talking, in the same manner Sup Forums has always talked about this subject. lurk moar.

But if it was as suggested an OD that will still come out.

Since only a fool would think this is real and not a work of fiction, I'd theoretically consider dragging them out to a park or woods and let them be found there... preferably days or weeks later.

GETTING RID OF CORPSE 101
>Leave Corpse lying under random shrub
>Call CNN News Anonymous Tip-line
>Tell them you just saw Hillary kill them
>Corpse Disappears
>?
>PROFIT

Although they would probably see she was a junkie and look no further.

>"other shit" is more important than homicide charges
...

Of course, make sure to annihilate fingerprints. Wash the body thoroughly with gloves, and make sure it doesn't touch anywhere that your fingerprints could be. If that is necessary, sanitize the area. If you want, you could go so far as to buy some new clothes online. Handle only with gloves.

Perhaps. But its not like junkies can't ALSO get murdered. Any "decent lawyer" could get the drug tests thrown out if they wanted to.

you do have a point. maybe i could dump her in the alley behind the building. maybe they wont check around if it's just a dead junkie

Yeah but with no other signs, probably call it OD and be done. I'd be worried if anyone knew she was at my place if I was op.

Didnt see it was a OD till i posted, figured it was some fag who did a emotional kill

Cut her up package her up u and your crew take different pieces and drop them in random dumpsters 30-40 miles away in random directions,or feed her to your animals cause id just feed her to my dogs wouldnt have to buy dog food for a month

maybe. big gamble.
good point to ponder, OP.

1. buy ethylene poly sheeting 4mil or thicker with cash at store several miles away, also get duct tape while your at it.
2. Buy saw and extra blades in cash at a different store also away from home.
3. Find secluded spot like shed or garage that you can readily access without causing suspicion.
4. Use poly to cover floors and walls, seal seams with tape.
5. Bring body in, remove teeth, cut off hands and feet, cut off limbs and head. If you can, drain blood into buckets or barrels prior to cutting up to reduce mess.
6. Wrap all body parts in poly, seal with tape. Place teeth in bottle of acidic drink.
7. Go outside city, find dirt road, go off the path as much as you can, try to make it so your car can't be seen from road.
8. Bring shovel, a gallon or more of live culture yogurt, a funnel for baking or oil draining and a pickaxe if you already have one.
9. Burn feet, hands and head in a fire.
10. In same spot you started fire dig a deep narrow hole, maybe six feet deep by three feet wide.
11. Place burned head, hands and feet in bottom of hole first.
12. Place torso in with anus facing up.
13. Pour live culture yogurt into anal cavity.
14. Fill whole up until about one foot up.
15. If you have a pet, kill it and place body in hole.
16. Fill hole all the way up.
17. Cover hole with large rocks.
18. Go back, clean up butchering site, use wrapping poly as way to minimize contamination of site.
19. Clean area with 1/10 bleach water mixture.
21. Take all poly, cleaning items and what note, place in trash bags. Pour some bleach in bags.
22. Take bags to a separate location out of city, burn bags, place in hole dug in same spot, cover hole.
20. Take your car to place where you can vacuum and clean it. Clean that mother fucker like there is no tomorrow. Vacuum everywhere, wipe down all interior surfaces, clean car overall.
21. Buy new tires for your car of a different brand than those you already have.

so like sprite wouldnt work?

shit ill be right back guys

They won't check around, not without a warrant, if you indeed didn't kill her just dump the body intact in a nearby alley, best bet.
>sprite
probably would, but over a 10-year span, too long. And make sure it's not diet.

Get a car
Get a bag
Get a poker face

If I was going to kill someone i'd consider this before killing: buy what you need to get rid of the body BEFORE you kill (don't buy everything at the same place or you could be suspected). then I would make a plan : WHEN,WHERE,HOW?

For me my favorite W/W/H are: at nights, abandoned place or hardly accesible place and my weapon of choice would be a small caliber with a silencer (quick and easy).

Then here is what I would do to get rid of that body: I would drain all the blood out of the body, stock it in bags and put them away for the moment.

Then I would cut ALL the fingers of the victime, burn the finger prints and put the fingers in another bag.

Then I would use some good tools and remove every single teeths of the victim and crush them until I have made powder of them. (put that in another bag)

now that nobody can identifiate the body you can start cuting body part, I suggest: Arms, Legs, Head

Now put every body parts in individual bags.

to finish I would throw: The finger, the blood and the teeth powder in a lake or something similar with a rock or something heavy to make them drown and dont come to surface at anytime.

for the body parts, I would bury them somewhere in the wood, not too deep but deep enought.. and yiu bury a dog on top of the body so it make the body indetectable.

p.s: you should get rid of the tools (I suggest you give them to a shop that sell used object or similar), I also suggest you to wear gloves so you dont put finger prints anywhere, and also never use the same location to kill. and dont let anything that can lead to you on the crime scene. thank you - E

Acid doesn't work, it doesn't work as fast as what it portrays in breaking bad, so that's a bad idea. What your going to need to do is cut the body up in the bath tub, and put the body in multiple trash bags. If you have access to get leeches dump them in the bags with the body parts, that'll help the body parts not bleed in the bag so much. Next thing is take each garbage bag and put it into another garbage bag, so double bagged. Take pepper spray and coat each inside bag with the pepper spray. That'll keep animals from trying to get the bag open to get to the meat. Next your going to have to drive around the nearest major city. Make sure all of your lights work, do not speed, and keep your seat belt on. Dump the trash bag's in different area's. While your dumping a bag in a dumpster try to remove as much trash as possible and bury the body bag under the removed trash, put said trash back on top of the body bag. Wash, Rinse, wipe hands on pants, repeat.

The song "Dead Body Disposal" by "Necro" outlines this procedure extremely well. Hope it helps bud, and god speed.

seems to be the easy solution. just hope it doesn't turn into a shes somebodies daughter or some shit. good thing i didn't fuck her before she went and did this.

Theoretically speaking, RIGHT user?

not diet! double fuck

>good thing i didn't fuck her
Indeed. In the event of you being the hypothetical dealer which caused the OD in this hypothetical event, put on some gloves and make sure there's no dope left, or baggies, paraphenealia etc on her, just in case.

Remove hair, nails, no trace.

>that options now off the table
oh. okay.

mods mods mods REPORTED!! omg everyones a murderer edgelord RUN FOR THE HILLS MODS MODS MODS

...

lime actually mineralizes and preserves the skeleton. your buddy is dumb

We're just RP-ing silly, we're doing a pretend werewolf play session next. rawr xD You start.

not about destroying the skeleton, it damages tissues and masks the odor of rot. Or so i'm told.

not what i sell, wouldn't it look better if I did leave her dope on her?

sure man, shits and giggles

>pig shit
>pigs digestive tract
>pigs entire pen now becomes trace evidence that they've eaten a body at some point
>pigs cannot digest bones
>pigs aren't even carnivores
why the fuck am i still typing? this isn't the movie hannibal. that shit doesn't work in real life. it didn't even work in the goddamn movie.

Ah, see i was thinking you killed her. You really should've just called an ambulance and have her taken away. If it wassnt your fault you wouldve been fine. But i assume its too late for that now. Good luck. Its pretty hard to despose of a body. Its just really unhealthy and unsafe, as well as very very illegal. Be careful if youre going to use corrosive chemicals. You can go blund with the fumes i think if theres enough. This person had a life and most likely a family that will be looking for her.

no. itd look obvious and therefore suspicious.

>not what i sell, wouldn't it look better if I did leave her dope on her?
then yes. i'd still search her pockets tho, in case she's a dumb cunt and wrote your burner number or whatever on a piece of paper

now im split, i say it would not seem strange to see somebody who OD have some drugs on them

good call on the search user

Yeah but your friend could sell that property 20 years down the road and all of a sudden the rock skeleton is now a reopened cold case potentially.

maybe. friend of mine "OD'd" in her apartment, with drugs on her, and the police still suspected murder because she had ratted out on her accomplices in a drug bust gone bad. it was her family that ended up pursuing the matter BUT without sufficient evidence the case hit a dead end. on paper, she OD'd. but the circumstances in her life led others to suspect homicide anyways. its a big gamble.

Just b yorself man

if she didn't OD on your shit, no need to hide the evidence she was a junkie, obv it'll seem like an open shut case if she has heroin and whatever needles and shit on her,
another thing, you know how jewgle is - what if she google-mapped your place before showing up? maybe i'd toss the phone, idk. If so, remove battery and toss phone in the lake. Hypothetically.

tossing it won't do anything if the phone was already on her at the TOD.

I have a really detailed response but I don't want to get put on any other NSA lists than I already am honestly.

well fuck me, my number is last one called, 5 hours ago

obviously.

Take the body to hawaii and dump it in an active volcano.

oh yeah if she's still in your house, her body is going to void its bowels if it hasn't already. thats also DNA evidence.

>last number dialed.
hmm, that's unfortunate. kind of out of my element here, not too tech-y... think it's a disposable or registered to her name or what? in the latter case they're going to look into it.

too late for that

that's very true, i think it was an outdoor grow-op tho, the clandestine kind. As in he didn't own the property it was just in the woods or some shit. Was like 15 years ago but good point.

tell me more Sup Forums

>dehydrated
Kek

cheap smart phone, could be prepaid

maybe i should prepare for a visit after dumping her.

well i mean its not a deal breaker. it just shows that shes shit at your house at some point. can't prove very much beyond that. unless you panic and do something stupid. the circumstances are already shady as shit.
>no pun intended

feed the phone to pigs.

wait, what am I saying.... Your number, the one she dialed, is a burner right? then you got nothing to worry about in that regard. But yeah, def prepare for a visit just in case. Maybe it's also time to retire that burner mane, next call could a bad one.