I want to kill myself. I am doing horrible in school. Pretty much everyday sucks. I'm sometimes able to laugh or smile...

I want to kill myself. I am doing horrible in school. Pretty much everyday sucks. I'm sometimes able to laugh or smile, but I still feel depressed. I've always wanted to be a marine biologist, or maybe even a surgeon. But at the rate I am going, I know that will not be possible. I am in 8th grade (mods please dont ban me) and my grades are as follows:

P.E. - D-
Science - B
Reading - D-
Math - D+
Social Studies - B+
English - B-

I have two study halls. For the record, I'm not sped. But I feel like a fucking idiot. Of course, my teachers and parents tell me that I'm smart, but I know I'm not. I guess deep down I see some intelligence in myself. I started this semester off very depressed and I failed a math quiz miserably (32%). I also didn't hand in a lot of work. Lately however, I've been doing okay on most assignments. I don't want to live on to see what I will become. I know it won't be good. I am stupid though... How could I have two study halls and these grades? It sickens me when I see these groups at school, mostly narcissistic girls, who compare each other's grades and cheat on tests. They laugh at me and - I'm obviously not going to be able to get a girl. I guess I look decent but I am too... I don't know what the word is, I guess you could say reserved. I walk with my arms crossed and I have been told that girls want to see someone who's "open". I am in counseling. They know I'm suicidal, never have been tested for depression or anything, but medicine has been suggested. Whenever I try to talk to someone my age about it, they tell me to do it and laugh. Can't tell if they're joking or not.
My dream is to be a surgeon and live in Germany, or some other Western European country. But obviously, that can't happen. Why even try? Why go on? Why go on to live a life I don't want to live?
I just don't want to do it anymore. I want to die.

Other urls found in this thread:

poll-maker.com/poll924181x0Fe44785-38
literature.org/authors/shelley-mary/frankenstein/preface.html
losrios.edu/class_schedules_reader.php?loc=arc/fall/Chemistry-CHEM.htm
product.half.ebay.com/Introductory-Chemistry-Concepts-and-Critical-Thinking-by-Charles-H-Corwin-2010-Hardcover-New-Edition/78391260&tg=info
strawpoll.me/11886498
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

self-bump

Do it

Tell me why and how. Also, I was anticipating for Sup Forums to say this.

What good would giving up do?

No good I suppose. But what good would failing do?

*RETARD ALERT*

MOOOOOOOOODDDDSSSSS

>P.E. - D-

you must be a huge fat fuck

I'm actually underweight. 5'3 and 90 lbs

Just a bit. But being on this side of the coin is better. More stress and suffering here.... but here you have a purpose.

I have 3 degrees and was a highschool teacher for a while. You just have to understand how to actually internalize information and you have to be really motivated.

How motivated are you?

you're not helping the OP

OP dont worry about it just go thru it, none of this shit will matter in the future

you're welcome OP

You're in 8th grade, your grades don't matter. I went to one of the best state schools and had friends who failed their way through 10th and 11th grades and managed to get in because they pulled it together in community college and got guaranteed admission. Your grades probably suck because of the depression or some learning disability that hasn't been diagnosed.

I can be VERY motivated. However, when I get bad grades I'm not motivated at all because I feel like giving up and accepting myself as a failure. Seeing my grades hurts myself, badly. I'm paranoid and I check them every hour, and every time I do so I feel worse.

It's like taking notes too. I can be a VERY good note taker, and a lot of independent notes I do for recreation looks fucking beautiful. But in school my notebooks are shit. Because the one time I put something in the notebook that I think doesn't look good or I number the pages wrong, I give up and stop trying to make it look good.
For me it's like perfection or failure and depression. Thinking about being a surgeon while getting good grades motivates me a lot.

Kill yourself pussy

I was a dumb fuck back in junior high up till high school and had shit grades in most of my classes even though I used to study for them, I'm now finishing up my engineering degree
you're far too young to be thinking about doing an an hero, shit changes at a flip of a coin
>you'll grow out of this phase

This post is written well enough that you're obviously not stupid. Shit gets better and the things you think matter now wont matter to you once you make it through high school.

That is rediculous shit non-advice. Don't worry about it is the attitude of gay wads and fuckfaces.

Keep your dirty lay down and die faggot philosophy to yourself.

My sister has been an English teacher over 20 years so I can tell just by the coherency of your writing that you're fully literate, so what the fuck is with the D- in reading?

"Doing an an hero"?

Thank you that means a lot. I try my best to have good English.

Pretty much all missing work.

Middle school doesn't mean shit. Math is the only subject you really should step it up on. The other two you raise just by minimum participation. Get friends and work on assignments with them.

I've tried getting help from friends. They laugh at me and call me 'sped', 'stupid', etc. So I've just been asking kids at my school for help.

get off Sup Forums, stop being edgy and talk to someone about it, youre too fucking young for all of this shit

There are many others just like you. They are not doing it, why are you?

You are no one special, so, just keep doing what you are doing just like every other person in this world.

As far as YOUR dreams are concerned, I repeat, YOUR dreams, change them if you cant achieve them.

If I talk to someone about it they could send me to the funny farm. This has been going on since 3rd grade, which was the worst year of my life (so far).

Dude, just end it. If you can't do middle school you can't do high school.

Start simple. Pick one or two subjects you want to master. Make an effort to read ahead. If possible, attempt to read a textbook before you start a class. Even if you don't get it you will acclimate your mind to the progression of concepts and when you actually go over it in a class it will click more because your not wasting time with just the first shock of exposure to a concept.

The real trick if you are learning text based classes, which biology and the like are centered on in the intro levels, is making your own questions with each paragraph or two and answering them.

Every paragraph or two ask yourself a question in your own words and answer it about the content. Then advance to the next few and repeat. You can write them down if you want, but if you can't develop a question about the key concept and answer it, then you are taking away nothing. Each chapter will probably have about 30 questions or more.

This approach is provenough to increase reading retention past 90 percent and they force you to use it as teaching tool since it's been proven in studies.

Exactly... How should I do it? Not a lot of suicide attempts are successful, and I REALLY don't want to fuck it up. The odds are not in my favor.

Okay, I will do this if I don't kill myself.

serisouly man, as someone who was considering suicide at an age similar to yours, I can tell you right now, Im so glad I never went through with it, you have so much of your life ahead of you and you shouldn't throw it away.there is so much more in life that you dont even know, for the sake of yourself and all the people clsoe to you, talk to someone who can help you

I won't do it. Not for now at least. But what the hell do I do if I start failing high school? What do I do if I fail collage or aren't able to become what I want to be? If I can't go where I want to go or if I'm never able to find love?
I just want to live alone in Berlin or something. Or Paris. I went there a few months ago and it was beautiful. I'd do anything to live there.

everything you have described here happens to 75% of middle schoolers, dont worry just bullshit your way through

So perfect is the enemy of good. It's impossible to be perfect all the time, you understand this intellectually.

Focus your time in counseling on overcoming avoidance. It's obvious the big issue is not your intellect, it's giving up or refusing to submit work that's merely good enough. All or nothing is the most poisonous attitude in life and it can ruin the potential of anyone.

Get the fuck off the internet and go to bed no later than 10 every night whether you can sleep or not. If you absolutely can't sleep read a book, a regular fucking book on paper. Attend every class, turn in every assignment. Quit moping and just fucking hang on.

OP, degenerate fag here. Currently I'm 18 facing 2 felony charges. The 8th grade isn't shit, high school is what defines your academic future. Quit being a goofball and work harder at shit you struggle with...like fucking reading come the Fuck on dude. English is your first language and you're struggling? I believe in you just quit being a victimed little bitch and say Fuck the world. Do what you want and what you need to do to be happy or go through with this pussy fucking plan of killing yourself. Love you bud but don't be a bitch and end it so young. You're in fucking middle school, chill out and get determined.

You need to find an older guy 30-40 years old .... straight, gay, married, whatever. he helps you with money, smartphone, homework. You help him rub his dick all over your 5'3" 90 lb little boy body. You won't have to look hard.

school isn''t everything, all that college does is give you a specialised qualification, if you fail then it doesn't really matter, find a job somewhere you can endure or even like doing, if you do that you'll be making money and getting experience you can use for your next job, keep working and meeting new people, you'll find a place where you belong and with people who'll love you.

It only gets worse.

Well maybe. Some got better, others got worse.

Some where down the line I feel like you're going to be sucking black cock though. Something about the void inside needing filled and weighing 90 lbs that makes me think so.

I won't, thank you.

Thank you. I will be going to bed shortly.

poll-maker.com/poll924181x0Fe44785-38

>Not using strawpoll

if you fail school there is always mcdicks brother

Notes are ok, but they are next to meaningless compared to the strategy I mentioned. The real trick is to memorize the questions you develop too. A typical chapter is about 30 pages or so. If you memorize 5 to 10 questions and answers a day you will tear through any classes like it's nothing. Just remember to review the questions and answers you develop.

Most teachers suck at teaching, don't rely on them to organize concepts if it's obvious their strategies aren't working. Consider reading supporting text on a tablet too. If you hold down on a word on a tablet you can get a definition easy without having to look it up.

Hey OP,

You write better than the average American. With that said, you're just slightly less mediocre than a brain-dead retarded transsexual dog that identifies with being a straight cat in the closet.

Life's pointless. Just kill yourself and take as many niggers/Jews/muslims with you as you can.

who tf has a reading subject in 8th grade I stopped having a reading class in like 6th

Yeah my math teacher is ah.. Really not the best. Last year (we have the same teachers for two years in MS) we had a lot of problems with her. She was grading stuff so damn harshly and no matter how hard I tried I'd end up with a F or D+ at best.

Ikr. Again, not sped. Every 8th grader takes it.

Think of it as
Doing an "an hero"

Dammit you didn't consider my suggestion about doing gay stuff. :(

Highschool math teachers are fucking terrible. Consider getting some used books or other materials. Thrift stores have a ton of math books used for a few dollars, just tell your folks you'd like to get some. You can buy a college library worth of text books 3 or 4 years old that college student give away at thrift stores. You could see if there are any good math tutor apps online too. Like ones that ask you a question then show you the solution if you get it wrong.

You want to live in Germany? Don't bother, there's nothing special here, everything good comes from other countries, everything germans make is shit.
Shit music, imported tv shows, shit movies, average people, the only good games from germans are decades old...

Oh, the only tv shows I know are made in germany are literally cancer, I would prefer playing shitty facebook games over watching these

Gladly would do this for a 30-40 year old female dominatrix :^)

For English, I have to write a poem about my future. I have to write what I want my career to be and what an average day will be like. What do I do for it? Write about me as a success or failure?

bump

Success, if you write your future as a failure people will see you as suicidal even more, you have to hide your suicide tendencies from everyone until you're ready to do it, or they will try to stop you. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know

Get a few lists of words related like science word list or biology word list and mix things around until something speaks to you.

Try getting some things like a "poetry word list" then use them like refrigerator magnets to make something good.

ok ty guys

I was like you once OP 1.8 gpa in middle school.

Luckily in high school your grades reset and I was able to get accepted into college.

My advice smash your phone and computer and do nothing but study

Based on what you've said, your grades aren't the problem. Depression is the problem, your grades are a symptom.

The depression is what's gotta be dealt with. I don't know you and I'm also not an expert but I do have a little experience with this. Think of the things that you like. Hobbies, places, people, whatever, anything that makes you happy. If those things still aren't making you happy there's probably a chemical problem. Talk to your family and a doctor.

Once you're got the depression under control, then you can start worrying about stuff like grades.

Good luck

Nah this is gay advice. Focus on getting good at something and you will feel better about yourself.

Would you like playing baseball or soccer in a professional league? Probably not, no one likes to feel they are doing shitty compared to everyone else. That's a natural thing. Don't go taking drugs and fucking with your natural system.

You will feel better when you get good at doing something and find it rewarding. Don't let people like this trick you into drugging yourself into complacency. You feel bad because you suck at something. So just take off the kid gloves, don't wait for other people to make you smarter or tell you to read your next lesson. Pick some shit and master it and you won't feel like a dumb ass anymore. You just have to grab your balls and take charge of your life.

What are somethings to get good at?

End it all, considering your grades you wont be able to go to a decent college and even if you did it's not like you'd pass those classes either, your best bet is to end up working at a fast food chain slowly working your way up the ladder. But is that even worth it, no it's not.

There are two main things. Personal goals, things that you want to do because you really enjoy them. Then there are career or educational goals, things that make your life easier and can get you good pay. Both are pretty important.

For a career look up the required classes for a degree posted at a local college to get an idea of what you have to know. Most colleges even tell you the exact books they use so you could get them used for almost nothing in advance (an old version if nothing else).

Language and vocabulary stuff helps a lot. Again in my opinion a tablet helps a lot, but it's not necessary. An easy way to build some reading and language skills is to read something you like online and click define any word you can't look at and give the exact definition of.

literature.org/authors/shelley-mary/frankenstein/preface.html

That site has lots of free decent stuff. That's Frankenstein. Any word you don't know click it and get its definition either through a long click and Web search or a definition app that defines any words you copy

How the fuck do you have a D- in PE? I was a fat fucker back in high school (300) and i still managed to get an A.

Math i can understand.. but PE?

Dude I have restarted life so many times you don't need to kill your self just leave humans have survived on this planet for a long time and only recently gotten our advancements you can stand up one day walk out and walk as far as you you want and nevertheless have to go back or talk to anyone you don't want to you are the only person who can make sure you get what you want and when your starring down The barrel there's now further bottom than dead so understanding that any direction is up is a first step now you need to just pick the next and if it's not the way you like you are always free to move in a different direction find your lane and if it dosnt exist carve it out make it your way. And for anyone'sgonna say something on age I started taking care of my own life at 12 so ya it's not that bad

Grade schools a joke. I suggest you look at the requirments of marine biology courses in your local community college and work from there. Just study. If you have questions, ask! I feel bad because you arent getting a proper education. Hopefully highschool will help you better. Life is a dick. Long and hard. Chill out and enjoy the rest of your semester. Study. Be happy. Ask questions. You will be okay:)

Just make sure to graduate highschool okay? Thats literally all you need to do

If you kill yourself you're not ending your pain your passing it on to others. Fuck you faggot just git gud

before you die, wanna play something on steam?

Hes in grade 8. College looks at 12th level grades. This shouldnt even be on his mind.

>Drop out
>Get a GED
>????
>Profit

Dont overwhelm yourself. Just focus on getting through the semester. Get good at math. Thats all you need to do. Get good at math and get great at science

All colleges will have a course catalogue and lay out the classes they require for a degree. Then look at their class schedule list. Most colleges disclose the required book for a class. If you have to buy an older version of it so it doesn't cost anything.

Say for example chemistry. I look up all the classes and see I have to take intro to chemistry. So I look up the fall class schedule and see what book the teacher requires. Then I go to half.com and find the cheapest used version possible. In your situation now you can buy a copy a few years old. In my example intro to chemistry by corwin 2010 is about 4 dollars.

Here's a copy of all the chemistry classes and what book they require.

losrios.edu/class_schedules_reader.php?loc=arc/fall/Chemistry-CHEM.htm

product.half.ebay.com/Introductory-Chemistry-Concepts-and-Critical-Thinking-by-Charles-H-Corwin-2010-Hardcover-New-Edition/78391260&tg=info

Get a GED, school is for cuckfags that like liberal dick.

I think you guys are forgetting he is only 13 years old. Not 20. All this information is very overwhelming for a pre teen boy. Hes not going to college hes trying to start highschool. This is why its an 18+ website. Because we cant relate to people this age anymore. Its unfortunate. He should be asking his parents what to do. Not us

>I am in counseling. They know I'm suicidal, never have been tested for depression or anything, but medicine has been suggested.

You are seriously depressed. Take the medicine, and if it doesn't work, change it till something works.

As someone who was in your shoes 20 years ago, trust me when I say you do not want that shit to continue for another 20 years. It's also unnecessary to kill yourself. Take the pharmacological route. You'll be amazed how much easier school and work become when you aren't an irrational self-hating suicidal mess.

Jesus Christ. Plenty of shit to read here but at least know that this shit is the god damn gospel whether you choose to believe it or not.

Your grades do not. Fucking. Matter. A diploma is a diploma no matter fucking what, only college degrees and THOSE grades concern ANY.ONE.

You are TOO. FUCKING. YOUNG. to be shitting on yourself this hard. Especially when you're in a part of your life that doesn't affect your future.

If you constantly say negative shit to yourself, you start believing it. Then you keep saying shit cause you think it's true, endless cycle.

You're just a kid, it gets better.

I was a lonely fucking fat shit, all the way from elementary to high school. I felt like I wasn't gonna do shit, but then I got to college.

I knew nobody there, I was away from my family, and started with basically a clean slate.

I made friends thinking I wouldn't, I became more self confident thinking I wouldn't, hell, I even fell in love, got heartbroken, and am dealing with that shit right now too. My grades are shit, but I'm still getting that degree.

Same cliche shit you hear from everybody is true.

It gets better. As long as you don't stop yourself from letting it.

Eh it's best to learn the strategy early on. You can still apply it now. Anyways if someone wants to be a doctor they need to know the right path as early as possible. You just look up the required info you need, buy used cheap books about it and read them. That's half the work.

FUCKING NEWFAG UNDERAGE FAGGOT

Where are the fucking mods? jesus christ.

lol and I thought this was a creepy P. E. -D- thread but instead Its an young people.

> So loli
Dont worry Trump will make sure your crappy school is too blame!

You don't know even have any F's. Quit your fucking crying, man. High school is fucking dumb anyway. Just look forward to college.

...

tldr

mods

and what the fuck is reading class?

grades dont even fucking matter till highschool, m80

Not even then

D's get degrees, even in collage m8. good grades is a scam.

Grades don't matter as long as you pass
-wise advice from a university student

lurk moar

Grades don't matter if you aren't trying to get into a top tier university, and college/uni grades don't matter at all. As long as you pass and get your little slip of paper saying you did, it doesn't matter if it was with a 65% or 110%.

HOW HAS EVERYONE MISSED THESE TRIPS?

strawpoll.me/11886498

>gene
its not a coding region, that's the loci, a gene can have multiple loci.

and gravity? in what world is someone confused about which one you are talking about? a vague concept of importance pulled the ship out of orbit, oh yeah its a metaphor for life.

>probably just the first thing you googled for science words, but still m8 real shitty pic.

Educated old fags have been here since before people tried making games out of posting numbers. We just don't care.

Instead of killing yourself.

Why not get a Tudor or try harder?

It's it for a science lesson, he just needs science or biology terms to scramble up to populate some words for a magnetic poetry style inspired poem.

Hey OP. Friendly words of advice from Rusfag.

First of all, grow a pair of fucking nuts. Second of all, if you want to be a fucking sob story, stop being a waste of oxygen and off yourself. If you want to be a real fucking man,
>Improve your fucking grades by studying, if you have the time to browse Sup Forums you have the time to study.
>Start fucking gaining weight, but don't lift, you'll remain short if you do.
>Stop going on here, it'll only degrade you.
>Start being a fucking man, have a proper attitude, stop being a beta depressed cunt.
>Stop thinking about being worthless. If you are worthless, then, once again, kill yourself and stop wasting resources, ya cunt. If you think you're worthless, stop fucking THINKING it then.

Now. MOOODS.

Well m8 the way I see it is that your grades are partially caused by your depression and partially caused by your own brain. You have no reason to worry since grades don't count until high school. Get your shit together once you become a freshman and things will go fairly smoothly. You probably won't be a surgeon in germany, but in the US it is possible. Surgeons don't require as much intellect as you think just wisdom.