/metal/

WHEEL CHAIR DOMINATION EDITION

>thread theme
youtu.be/b0SPda0PgNQ

Other urls found in this thread:

soundcloud.com/collapseofchristus/sets/final-snow-the-violet-dawn
youtube.com/watch?v=O_fJ5SSV_Vo
deathmetal.org/article/lucky-charms-metal/
deathmetal.org/review/abigor-nightbringer-thy-darkened-shade-mortuus-split-2017/#more-28934
deathmetal.org/news/sadistic-metal-reviews-dark-descent-into-uranus/
youtu.be/o9v5qFRA6Gw
youtu.be/D6exw6xT0oo
youtu.be/BXkP4WS8Y_Y
youtube.com/watch?v=tTpSCVM33og
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

old thread

REAL METAL HAS A SOLO EVERY SONG

BUMP SOMEONE WATCH THE VIDEO

looks like he's slipping into a paradoxical spiral

i think everybody has now. did you record it or something?

post god tier grind

no this kid comes in to where i work so im aware of his "hijinx", the whole audience was crying with laughter apparently

Oh boy

OP is a fag

How does Dark Descent get everybody to love their releases?

Has anyone else listened to this fucking piece of shit?

no that cover looks fucking horrific

It's real goddamn bad.

soundcloud.com/collapseofchristus/sets/final-snow-the-violet-dawn

the vocals were cool but within context of the otherwise garbage song

Who here /hype/?

I've been trying to listen to melodeath with the whole shitshow in this general lately

I don't think it's the subgenre for me. Most of it is a little too simple and poppy and it seems like most of it lacks the depth and complexity I usually find appealing.

Strangely though I love melo-black, pic related is pretty great

what does he listen to /metal/

>inb4 power metal

most underrated Priest?
youtube.com/watch?v=O_fJ5SSV_Vo

classic rock radio

glam metal + Motorhead

i love that one, the whole album is decent as a 80s hard rock meme album desu

That is an Iron Maiden tier bad album cover

Cucksphemy - Fallen Angel of Dick

This is literally funnier every fucking time please stop posting it before my lungs collapse

>when he goes into his normal voice at the end

This is probably going to be a piece of shit and I'm going to listen to it anyway, just to be along for the ride.

Mastodon are the new Metallica.

>Most of it is a little too simple and poppy and it seems like most of it lacks the depth and complexity I usually find appealing.

Persefone.

the only melodeath i can tolerate is late era death and heartwork by carcass

80s buttrock

Hard As Iron would fit right in on Painkiller

>melodeath
>late era death

Which bands qualify as buttpower?

Sonata Arctica

Has anyone ever included picks with an album before? They should get a Grammy for this.

if abruptum didn't get any grammies for razors, these nu males ain't getting shit for a pick

Metallica. They used to call themselves power metal before it was a thing and had a live album called metal up your ass

Now that the dust has settled we can all agree that this is the best Death album right?

True

80s Metallica? That's not butt anything.

Scream Bloody Gore is better

It's Scream Bloody Gore, no questions asked.

Scream Bloody Gore is the only good Death album

you are all wrong, Human is indisputably
the best one

>tfw no childhood visions

Symbolic

this or leprosy are the only real answers

Not butt in a shitty way, but a literal way.

...

SPIRIT

CRUUUSHHHEEERR

Why are all nu-Death lyrics about how everybody is a meanie?

Is there a DMU pasta? There should be a DMU pasta.

making fun of prozak and averse sefira has gotten old. You don't make fun of the old raving lunatic in the park.

chuck was a sensitive man

The Jester Race is the VH1 version of Slaughter of the Soul. In Flames are not a poorly-done, warmed over Iron Maiden or Artillery; In Flames are the type of lame sing-along lite rock that can otherwise be found on the heavier Motley Crue LPs. The closest comparison I can think of would actually be the speed metal influenced Skid Row – Slave to the Grind but In Flames have more estrogen in their bloodstream. Medical literature reports that listeners testicles retreat into the body cavity upon hearing the opening riff. To make an In Flames album one must merely kidnap five relatively sane beer metal fans in Iron Maiden t-shirts, inject them with potent cocktails of various benzodiazepines, and buy them an afternoon of studio time. The Jester Race is what would result. In Flames were not a band who wanted to kill everyone like Metallica in 1983, rather they were the assholes in Animal House with the acoustic guitar attempting to make New Wave of British Heavy Metal music a few years later for born again Christians. In Flames are the Swedish Stryper.

Ok, now somebody needs to adjust it for Burzum or Sammath

are In Flames /glam/?

deathmetal.org/article/lucky-charms-metal/

Inspired by this article, I’d just like to thank the true supporters of the funderground for being unwilling to put in the effort (and/or lacking the ability) to differentiate between shit and quality music, as well as funneling their money, attention, and praise toward useless idiots, egomaniacs, has-beens, shills and scam artists so they can keep up the horrible farce that has been the state of metal music for many years. Please keep supporting wannabe rock stars, hipster douchebags, egregious masturbators, corporate shitheads and your stupid friends so anyone who wants to hear some quality heavy metal has to wade through a nearly limitless sea of excrement, soullessness, and pre-chewed candy corn to find something remotely interesting. I know you need something to distract you as you while away your meaningless lives, and I’m so very glad you’ve chosen heavy metal to be your host.

Welcome to Costo, I love you.

The Burzum S/T is the VH1 version of Deathcrush. Burzum is not a poorly-done, warmed over Thorns or Bathory; Burzum is the type of lame aaarggh-along atmoshit that can otherwise be found on the heavier The Cure LPs. The closest comparison I can think of would actually be the black metal influenced Destruction – Infernal Overkill but Burzum has more estrogen in their bloodstream. Medical literature reports that listeners testicles retreat into the body cavity upon hearing the opening synth line. To make a Burzum album one must merely kidnap a relatively sane Norwegian dude in a Venom t-shirt, inject him with potent cocktails of various benzodiazepines, and buy him an afternoon at Grieghallen. The Burzum S/T is what would result. Burzum is not a band who wanted to kill everyone like Metallica in 1983, rather he was the asshole in Animal House with the acoustic guitar succeeding to kill only one dude and make casiocore music a few years later for born again heathens. Burzum is the Norwegian Enya.

>the type of lame aaarggh-along atmoshit

...

>In the Nightside Eclipse is the VH1 version of Burzum. Emperor are not a poorly-done, warmed over Immortal or Mayhem; Emperor are the type of lame sing-along lite rock that can otherwise be found on the heavier Motley Crue LPs. The closest comparison I can think of would actually be the speed metal influenced Skid Row – Slave to the Grind but Ihsahn has more estrogen in his bloodstream. Medical literature reports that listeners testicles retreat into the body cavity upon hearing the opening atmospheric noises. To make an Emperor album one must merely kidnap five relatively sane beer metal fans in Iron Maiden t-shirts, inject them with potent cocktails of various benzodiazepines, and buy them an afternoon of studio time. In the Nightside Eclipse is what would result. Emperor were not a band who wanted to kill everyone like Dissection in 1997, rather they were the assholes yelling at eachother in an unheated basement, trying to make some sort of "powerful" music by trying to make the instruments inaudible. Emperor are the Norwegian Stryper.

Does anyone know what that techdeath album is that has the red background and the guy with ropes or something c9ming out of his head? Kind of looks like the image in this guys post

I like prog metal

Nespithe.

not tech death at all. It's second album carcass on some very nasty drugs played by some sort of clive barker monstrosities

delet this

No, its not nesphite. It looked more like power lines running through his head. He also may have been carrying a sword or somerhing

Nespithe is tech death

Is there a more pretentious band?

Jute gyte. Also sunn O))) outside ouf soused and black one

Dude, how's it fucking not nespithe. There's literally a red background and ropes coming out of a guy's head.

The only power lines / death metal connection I can think of is Epitome of Darkness, but no swords there. Note: World Demise may have some power lines in there, but it's a funmetal record, not death metal.

Don't fuck around with me pal, I have to fill out captcha for around 5 minutes to post, google thinks I'm a dipshit. Probably for noscript, but hey, fuck you too ZOG. Go ahead and send the whatever murder robot you're building with this crap, see how it works out.

Post-Nightside Emperor, any drone metal or proge

Found it, was feeding the abscess by martyr

Sigh

Voivod - Nothingface

literally any Prog Metal band

Terminal Redux is the VH1 version of Killing Technology. Vektor are not a poorly-done, warmed over Slayer or Exodus; Vektor are the type of lame sing-along lite rock that can otherwise be found on the heavier Motley Crue LPs. The closest comparison I can think of would actually be the speed metal influenced Skid Row – Slave to the Grind but Vektor have more estrogen in their bloodstream. Medical literature reports that listeners testicles retreat into the body cavity upon hearing the opening riff. To make a Vektor album one must merely kidnap five relatively sane prog thrash fans in Coroner t-shirts, inject them with potent cocktails of various benzodiazepines, and buy them an afternoon of studio time. Terminal Redux is what would result. Vektor were not a band who wanted to kill everyone like Metallica in 1983, rather they were the assholes babbling about Voivod and attempting to make prog thrash music a few years later for Pitchfork hipsters. Vektor are the thrash metal Stryper.

deathmetal.org/review/abigor-nightbringer-thy-darkened-shade-mortuus-split-2017/#more-28934

is this the best comment slugfest on DMU yet?

Some of these people are using words that don't even exist.

>periphery

P19: Sodomize the Weak

Has scenester ever been used anywhere else? Scene kid is how i usualy hear it. It seems like a buzzword on dmu.

Fucking hell man. I hoped ANUS would die by now, but it's bigger than ever and it even trickled over into the mainstream as evidenced by this general. Here I thought you fags thought up monickers like "pizza thrash" and "caverncore", but of course it's fucking ANUS again. Like a fucking cancerous mole that won't come off and keeps growing throughout the decades.

P20: DMU and dildos

Scenester sounds better to me

t. scenester

>just repetitive and noisy like I’m listening to the sound of an assembly line with some power chords thrown in and Soviet workers only pretending to work as the saying goes you know and occasionally fucking up the conveyor belts so they can go smoke cigarettes or swig shots of vodka from a flask.

Fuck, this sounds amazing. Too bad it sounds nothing like it. Can somebody make something like this?

I AM THE BLACK WIZARDS

>Dark Descent stopped sending us stuff after we started reviewing all the dreck they put out with John Belushi pictures of John Belushi expressing the only emotions the music is capable of conjuring up in listeners. Seriously, I would rather listen to nu-crossover pizza thrash band who just to have a crowd of miscreants hit each other to it.
deathmetal.org/news/sadistic-metal-reviews-dark-descent-into-uranus/

dark descent btfo

t. Speed metaller

What is your favorite DMU-unapproved record?

And since you are new, I must introduce you to our motto, guiding philosophy and oath of allegiance:


SODOMIZE
THE WEAK

We are a combination of elitism, idealism (Germanic) and realism. It is not a brew for many, but among those who are the 5% of civilization who make 90% of its actual contributions, it is very popular.

I like the split album. Is this good or bad?

Where does one go from here?

Gas

...

>tfw turning into a pizzathrasher

I grew up on dad rock and alt metal so im kinda new to the death metal scene. Can someone point me in the right direction? I really enjoy these three songs

youtu.be/o9v5qFRA6Gw
youtu.be/D6exw6xT0oo
youtu.be/BXkP4WS8Y_Y

Which one of you autists did this?

Holy shit. That 97% w/ 12 reviews on metallum wasn't some sort of ebin trole. How have I not heard about primordial until now?

Possessed - Seven Churches
Death - Scream Bloody Gore
Morbid Angel - Altars of Madness

Start with those

I actually openly enjoy pizzathrash. One of the most fun metal genres

L I S T E N T O D E A T H
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H youtube.com/watch?v=tTpSCVM33og