Be 30

>be 30
>wake up 3pm
>tummy in hungy
>MUMMY I WANT TENDIES FROM WENDIES
>Mom busy helping Granny with her healthcare provider
>no answer
>still_hungry.jpeg
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Mummy tries to explain to wagecuck on phone that the noise is nothing
>being ignored
>thinks she can get away with this
>use my cum crusty blanky as a cape
>doesn't wave when I fly
>waddle down stairs
>TENDIES IN TUMMY OR MUMMY EATS UNDIES
>Mummy realizes what she has done
>mfw too late
>mfw prepping undies for launch
>a liquid brick descends into my undies
>5 lbs of weight visibly hanging
>Mummy runs for door
>me thinkth not
>Screech a REEEE that stunns her for a second
>Farting and drooling as I run for the door
>mfw I'm blocking the only exit
>"Mummy is very sorry. user, if you settle down and promise not to hurt Mummy, you will get 50,000 GBPs.
>she thinks she can bribe her way out of this
>jewish scheme deserves extra punishment
>fall unto Mummy, my 400 pound body gently crushing her body
>mfw I hear cracks
>shes sobbing slowly as she knows what is to happen
>"Mummy was a bad girly. Bad girlys need too be good"
>"Please have mercy!" she cries
>while on top of her chest, I take of my shit ridden undies and shove it into her mouth
>shes gagging uncontrollably
>pee pee exposed
>look at Granny
>shes terrified
>horny now
>take my pee pee and poke Mummys eye out
>blood but I still continue
>fall asleep from moving so much
>wake back up a few hours later
>Granny is gone and Mummy isn't moving
>must have thought my body was a pillow
>silly Mummy
>get up and streak my shit stained asshole across the wall to spell out TENDIES FROM WENDIES
>waddle into the kitchen and take the trendies out from the freezer
>remember I wanted Wendies Tendies
>too hungry to care and eat them raw

no way

I don't think that happened

no shit retard, we're here to read these and laugh!

>cont.
>edit: i can't believe this made the front page
>thanks for the gold gift stranger my first time getting gold because nobody besides nerds and people with too much money to know what to do with would buy it

It's supposed to be a joke

its a meme you dip

>we're here to read these and laugh!

Cringe

>replying seriously to an obvious sarcastic post

Kek

Taking the bait

>i-i-i-i was just trolling!

>be 31 year old big boy
>moaning sounds wake me out of my custom made race car bed
>my tum tum is growling with pain (ouch ouch)
> go upstairs to axe mommy for some sweet sweet tendies
>find her to my horror wrestling with new daddy
>she look pissed as fuck (maybe she is losing as she was pinned down)
>"get the f**k out you retard" she said (i censored the no-no word just like mommy says)
>"no bitch go get me some grub you slut"
>she gets up and slaps my big boy big cheek (im big boned well fed)
>i unsheathe my katana and chop off her ugly head in a swift move (naruto fan here)
>new daddy looks at me in horror
>"you buy me tendies you are now new mommy cause mommy is asleep" i saw with a hard pee pee
>"you are fucked in the head" he says while lookiing in horror
>"you are new mommy i will have to make some...adjustments..." i say while doing evil gestures with my evil hands (like doctor evil)
>i chop his pee pee off and give him some cummies and poo poo comes out
>"now you are new mommy go get me tendies"
>that bitch really goes to wendys to buy me tendies..what a loser
>just learned that mommies are replaceble
>now i get daily tendies with some poo poo on pee pee on the side

Someone please screen cap this! This is a masterpiece of a tendies story we must save for future generations of Sup Forums!

Fucking normies

anyone have the meme of the nigger baby getting thrown in the trash?

...

>actually took a screenshot

For what purpose?

because master told me to

>hes 30 years old and still lives with his parents

Yes that's the joke

taking the bait

>watching Barney in my room when suddenly my tummy starts hurting
>"MUMMYYY ME WANT TENDIES!"
>"Sorry user, but you don't have enough GBP. Why won't you go with stepchad to McDonalds and grab some?"
>REEEEEEEEEEE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT GOOD BOYS DON'T GO OUTSIDE
>but i also ran out of piss bottles and shit jugs
>in the end i go with stepchad
>fucking normie listening to some normie shit in his normie car
>arrive at McDonalds
>"Hello sir, how can i help you?"
>"20 tendies and honey mustard"
>"What is tendies?"
>stupid bitch makes me wanna reee
>"Just get us some McNuggets with ketchup"
>WHAT?! FUCKING STEPCHAD NORMIE PIECE OF SHIT
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING NORMIES!"
>run at stepchad and put him down with my big boy body
>"POOPOOPEEPEEREEEEEEEEEEEE"
>peepee all over the place while hot chocolate is sprinkling everywere from my bummy
>people start running away and McFucks employees try to hide desperetly
>police officer comes later and takes me back to mummy
>she starts crying
>tell her to start doing those tendies or else
>she want's to make me the greatest tendies ever and even properly examines them by putting her head in the oven
>go back to my room to watch Spongebob
>hour have passed and mummy is still watching over my tendies in the oven

Makes me wanna REEEE but as long as the tendies are good, im ok. I didn't spend GBP afterall.

More GBP stories I need them

Anyone see that Xev video where she talks about tendies and good boy points? Apparently someone from Sup Forums paid her to make that video kek

are you the fat majin buu?

it's a dip you meme

>wake up at 4pm
>fill piss bottle
>waddle out to check GBP board
>finally reached 100 for not shitting in the car yesterday
>REEEEEEEEE in excited delight so loud and high the window cracks
>too out of breath to walk
>roll into kitchen where mummy is doing the budget
"MUMMY MUMMY NOW IS FUN DAY TIME FOR TENDIE SPECIAL SUNDAE"
>mummy slowly looks up, her eyes wide and quivering
"b-but I-I have to work today and that takes four hours to make..."
>heave myself upright, all 450 pounds
>face is bright red and sweating bullets from exertion and fury
"NOW I SPEND MY GBP, SO MAKE TENDIES TO PLEASE ME"
"I c-can't... we don't have any..."
>what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch
>begin quaking with apoplectic rage, like a triple decker jello mold
>throw mummy to the ground and start tearing off her only dress
"YOU FORGET TO BUY THE MEAT, SO NOW IT'S YOU WHO MUST EAT! I AM NO LONGER BENDY, SO NOW YOU SUCK MY TENDIE!"
>shove my cock in mummy's mouth
>haven't washed in months of course
"TOASTIE ROASTIE! DUMMY MUMMY!"
>mummy pulls away gagging and sobbing
>it's ok, five seconds was long enough
"SPRAYO MAYYYOOOOOOOO"
>blast all over mummy, grunting and moaning like a semi passing on the highway
>inexplicably have huge volume despite jacking it eight times a day
>make sure to get it everywhere
>point and laugh
"CUMMY TUMMY! CUMMY TUMMY!"
>laboriously turn around and shift backwards
"STUPID BITCH COLD LIKE ICE! NOW MIXED WITH CREAM THAT'S NICE! REMEMBER I'M THE BOSS! NOW ADD THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!"
>spray diarrhea all over mummy for solid minute
"ROASTIES MAKE ME WARY, CUZ THEY LACK A CHERRY! NOW SUNDAE IS COMPLETE! ONE IN CHARGE IS THE NEET!"
>wheeze and collapse from exhaustion, falling on top of mummy and trapping her underneath layers of fat
>takes three hours until strong enough to roll back to couch
>piss myself five times
>grind trail of filth into carpet while rolling
>mummy gets hose and mop, starts cleaning me up
"w-who's my b-big boy..."

Noice

some one has a piss bottleflip

>sitting in room
>finish plate of tendies mummy just made for me
>hmm, I want some more!
>decide to play a prank on mummy (might cost some gbp, but fun is fun)
>rig one of my pee pee bottles to pour on whoever opens my door
>position my wittle bottom towards the door as well and pull down my diaper
>bang my steel drum to get her attention (at 30 gbp I simply had to!)
>MUMMY MUMMY, I WAS HUNGRY, NOW I'M FULL SO RUB MY TUMMY!
>Hear mummy coming
>A grin grows across my face as she draws near, my eyes crinkle and a "teehee!" slips out
>Mummy enters the room
>my pee pee pours in a steady stream on her head
>At the same time I begin blasting her with my nasty poo poo, coating her in a thick baby waby green layer!
>heehee! messy mummy messy mummy I say rhymically as she is covered in my nasty
>She doesn't say a word as my prank plays out
>finish my poo, turn and sit bare bottomed on the floor, leaving a wittle poopy stain
>mummy, did you wike my joke? ga ga goo goo!
>I begin giggling and drooling while slapping my wittle feetsies together as applause
>She does say anything
>Mummy, waugh at my wittle joke!
>I can see tears running through my pee pee and poo poo on her face
>Mummy, you don't want to upset your perfect wittle boy do you?
>She is still fighting
>My eyes sharpen and I drop my voice do a gravely, gutteral tone
>Listen you normie cunt, laugh at your sons prank or I'll kill you and kill myself, I'll drag you into the bath and slit your wrists while I fuck your fat whore ass
>Mummy sees reason and lets out a chuckle
>heehee! I think that deserves 20 gbp for being such a funny and creative prank, don't you mummy!?
>She does a sort of weird nod and walks out of my playpen
GBP is too easy to get, even when being a naughty boy!

>it's okay I was only pretending to be retarded!

> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> mfw its 03:00am
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "NOT NOW SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> challenging me at this hour?
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair.
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.

mooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaar

>be 28
>mummy's good boy
>12pm
>woke up late that day because of exhausting excercise of walking down stairs a second time that day to grab some honey mustard for trendies
>go to mummy's room
>bust down door by whipping my strong, chubby cheeks against the door
>start bouncing on bed shouting, "Tendies, trendies, trendies!"
>mummy tells me it's to late for trendies and that she has work in the morning
>start to get flustered about lack of trendies on plate, but to tired to let out a reee because of intense stair excercise yesterday
>mummy still won't make trendies but goes to bathroom for pee pee
>hatch plan like chicken hatch out of eggs to become trendies
>reach into size 43 sweatpants to pull out enourmous, sweaty adult diaper I've been filling up since yesterday
>place it in mummy's pillowcase
>run back to bedroom like a chicken runs without a head
>4minutes later
>hear splat from mummy's bedroom followed by scream from mummy
>I hope she'll make my trendies now, guys!

Trendies:Tendies with ranch dressing

>playing some call of dooties tree
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"user, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"user SMASH!"
>just like my hero, saitama, knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on the 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello user how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"user NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"user ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO

Damn dude. Is that 50 TB up, down or shared?

>taking the bait

>in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"user, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicken nuggets are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is user" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey user, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and Sup Forums
>"what's Sup Forums user?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicken nuggets
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"user, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken nuggets?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside

Fucking normies.

...is your mum alright? Is she still alive?

You need to take a look at your life, your mum just wants what's best for you, she went through years if sacrifice to raise you and you repay her like this, you barely function as a human being, im sure your life would be happier if you just gave up this pretend shit, get outside and meet people. Don't ruin other people's lives just because you've ruined your own.

>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"

This is always my favorite when I read these threads