Shitty things during sex I'll start.
>About to go down on a girl and get a faint smell of piss.
>Hitting her from the back only to see she either doesn't shave her asshole or just sucked at it
>Working on getting that throbbing erection, only made more difficult by a shitty blowjob.
What's your biggest annoyance Sup Forumsrothers
I'm not gonna lie, I like a little bit of girl fuzz around the butthole.
that my dick dont work right
Lol
You think your dick doesn't smell at all ?
And you think a girl likes inhaling sweaty ass and pube stank as she blows you?
Lol kiddo welcome to reality life isn't a porn
>about to nut and she says "Don't cum inside"
Happened to me once, didn't end up cumming at all. Completely ruined my boner. Wasn't planning on it.
Faggot
Who gives a fuck about some ass fur? Nice trips though.
You and your pathetic thread.
>implying you're having sex right now
>implying you'd ever have sex at all
>implying you're not going to grow old and become a wizard
k
>getting a whiff of shit during doggy style
>damaged goods that lie there like dead fish
>creepy enough to kill boner
>make up excuse about being impotent because she'd prolly try to kill herself if told the truth
>grab her arms and her armpits smells like isis sandniggers ones
>she dosnt moams, at all, even in 6shift
>she has a outtie
found the roastie
Follow through after anal
Her wanting a kiss after you cum in her mouth
Her father chasing you down the street with a shotgun when he finds you fucking his 14 year old daughter
Kek
/Thread
God I hate this.
>taking years to convince my gf that anal will be fun
>she finally agrees, but is not excited
>we talk about positions and cleaning/prep
>our nigger bull comes over
>fucks my ass
>pulls out to gape me for her
>shit and far come out
>both haven't spoken to me since
"Whoops a doodle!"
I once had to hide a guy and his girlfriend from my shotgun wielding neighbor
When they wake up just before nut. Kinda get all acuard and shit.
BINGO
>TFW sex has gotten routine and stale in my long term relationship and I love my partner but I suspect the magic we used to enjoy together (in bed) is forever gone.
>About to go down on a girl and get a faint smell of piss.
Almost like the piss comes out right around where you're eating or something...
Yup I'm into that
Kek I have done this a time or two
Welcome to life. You can leave her if you want, but the next girl will ultimately lead to the same. Sex gets boring after a while. There's only so much you can try.
If you want to spice things up I got one tip for you
>Nazis
Look at you pretending you're not a virgin.
Captcha: Choose all images with Sushi.
add some poo-play for fart sex to the mix. you're too vanilla and 'safe'.
just watching her dominate a turd into the punch bowl might be hot, pic related.
This
More of a relationship problem here.
>when she's not in the mood but acts like she is
Nothing like slamming some barley wet pussy. I would rather just not fuck than have you do it just for me and be half there.
lol kill yourself
barely*
inb4
Too real.
this is the perfect vag + butt hole
why? it's hairy. it has a slight hint of vaginitis (the fish smell), a slight touch of unwiped poo on her butthole (again to add to the boquet of scents), and it just looks perfect.
>when they take too long to get wet
Sometimes I don't want to eat the pussy. Sometimes I just want to kiss a little and stick that shit right in. Fucking preheating the oven takes way too long sometimes. Fuck lube.
why dont you do drugs together and fuck while high on drugs?
>barley
Ha! Already taken care of.
You're too late Joker!
Agreed.
I wish I could get my wife to smell more fishy. She rarely smell or taste of anything, except urine at the most. :-( How to get her to smellz?
dammit
Because some of us have jobs and can't afford to just go about ingesting random drugs.
Talk about it and find a new kink.
Go dangerfuck in a store or something.
not showering. vaginitis is what causes the fishy smell. your wife showers too much.
tell her take a week off.
also tell her to leave a touch of unwiped poo. just a hint obviously.
your wife's new bouquet will bring you both to new heights in love and in your sexual lives.
...
this lmao
I am a medical cannabis patient so more often than not we are high, although I can't always say that enhances sex.
She is on the implant and it causes vaginal dryness....very difficult for her to get wet without a lot of foreplay. Even then it takes a good amount of lube.
Despite my post, we had sex this morning and it felt breddy good. I guess I just miss that crazy fucking four times in the space of three hours. I miss her being truly hot for my dick instead of just fucking me out of formality.
I would never cheat but after this experience I totally see why people cheat.
Shower before you go out and throw a little talc or baby powder down there so you don't reek like an Indian man, you disgusting faggot.
I think bad blowjobs are just about the worst thing for any guy.
this or any talk about finishing. It's like being interrupted with a math question.
>>Shitty things about sex
>>Faint smell of piss
Choose one
when you've been rock hard the whole time you've been fooling around, then when you're finally ready to stick it in, you can't get hard again because your dick gave up
How long is the relationship? Also, how many years in did it take to start feeling this way?
I dated a dead fish girl.
I was new to sex, so I believed her when she just called it being "submissive". Bitch was just lazy af.
Now I'm fucking this ACTIVELY submissive chick and the difference is incredible.
I make goddamn sure my dick is spit clean when I want to use it.
I shave it and wash regularly, plus I wash it again before sex if I'm planning it.
It's just goddamn respect, I want to see her eating the fuck out of my dick like it's the only thing that matters in the world, not watching her trying to lazily put a blowjob together while visibly disgusted by your smell.
A smelly dick = a bad blowjob or no blowjob at all, so I try to always be in top shape when she goes down on it and I expect the same treatment.
And this comes from someone who was told that my dick has a distinctive smell when I first started getting blowjobs, so I made sure to never have that problem again. It's both basic hygiene and respect for the person who is eating your genitalia for the sole purpose of making you happy.
>her urge to pee midway...
We had sex this morning and it felt breddy good
> breddy good
She showers every second day. Even when see goes 4 days without a shower, no fishyness. Only moar pissyness. ._.
I do not however think she will cut down on her ass hygiene for my sake. I usually give her a lot spicy food which cases her too shit moar, and since she only wipes and does not clean her asshole with water, there is still a healthy hint of poo around the area. But she is nevertheless always super clean. No poo fragments or stains are ever to be found.
I get where you're coming from and all, but sometimes I just don't want to wait. Sometimes a slight wiff of piss is more acceptable for me than waiting 5 minutes for her to clean up.
about three years.
she moved in with me two years ago. so obviously we could have sex all the time and it became less of a treat and more like a regular thing. she was on the pill but it made her sick so now she has the implant.
the implant is good, for obvious reasons. but I feel she was hornier on the pill and it didn't impact her ability to get wet.
I started feeling like our sex was losing its luster probably 6 to 12 months ago. Honestly, what scares me isn't so much that I feel this way, but that she also feels it. she is younger than me and less mature - I find myself worrying more and more that she's going to fuck someone else.
True. I've had a blowjob where the girl was using her teeth and was sucking my balls way too hard and it fucking hurt. I didn't want to say shit, though, because I was afraid if I did, she'd get upset and call off the main event. I had to just lie there and take it and hope she'd get it done fast.
Turns out she "loved sucking cock" and apparently thought she was really good at it, I imagine because other dudes told her she was because they didn't want to not be able to duck her too.
The actual sex was pretty good, but goddamn, I had to sit through 20 minutes of hell to get there.
Yeah I tend to lose my wood. I totally get why this happens to girls, but you're gonna have to start over somewhat babe.
You're a moron, plain and simple. Learn some basic communication skills.
>Making her cum hard and she falls decides to fall asleep after before finishing you off
Had an ex who used to do this all the time
a stinkinking pussy/asshole is my biggest turn off during sex.
Once it was so bad, that I even smelled it when I was doing my ex from behind
I'll give some female perspective.
>When you give head and the guy has a major bush and you get pubes in your mouth
>Positions such as doggy style making you queef
>Needing to fart
>When a guy just tried to ram their dick in too soon
>When someone goes down on you and you pray there is no fragments of toilet roll are stuck to your vaj
I wish I could help. I asked because I'm literally in the same boat almost 100% as you. Was hoping you had some magical advice. I guess we'll just have to ride this out and see how it goes.
This. If I have a date or whatever, I wash my dick thoroughly, throw on some talc to avoid the ball sweats, and I spray a little cologne on my belly so when they're going down there, they get a nice whiff. I also make sure to excuse myself and run to the bathroom and give it a quick rinse if it looks like some action is imminent.
Luckily my current gf is obsessive about hygiene so the only smell that comes out of her pussy is the smell of her natural lube, which rarely smells like anything at all 2bh. I love going down on her, seeing she takes care of her goods makes me enjoy it a lot more and I suppose it's the same for her when she gives me a blowjob and my dick doesn't smell like piss or sweat.
My previous gf wasn't so obsessive about hygiene, she never had a smell so strong to become disgusting, but you could still feel it and it was a massive boner killer for me, to the point I stopped going down on her for good.
To each their own I guess
we may have to give her a urinary tract infection. that will help with vaginitis.
you're not to shower for 2 weeks. use deodorant, cologne etc.
but no genital cleansing for you. then have a lot of sex with her. we'll get her snizz stinking soon enough.
also go butt-to-puss without cleaning your dick off.
HAHAHAHA women have no refractory period, they dont get tired after they cum. she just didnt want to fuck you user
found the stupid cunt
Doesn't mean they don't get tired after annorgasm sometimes. You've obviously never dated a chubby girl. Lazy bitches have an intense, full-body orgasm, that's the most exercise they've had in weeks, and now they're too tired to fuck.
That's why when I was dating my chubby ex, I'd always at least have her finish me with her mouth before I'd make her cum. Make sure I at least get something.
Of course you can be tired... You've just done physical activity and an orgasm involves so heavy breathing. It is exhausting.
ITT, teenage fags who are scared of a pussy smelling a bit.
fair enough if its gross but jesus a bit of natural smell is a turn on for me. real smell of a woman. fyi, your dick/pussy still smells even if you wash it faggots
LITERALLY the worst
Love that ass smell when doing it doggy
no girls on Sup Forums
3 years and you've settled down sex wise already? seriously user? we've been together 12 years and our sex is great, fair enough it isn't every day like it used to be. but if you're bored after 3 years man walk away.
What if the guy didn't hold queefs or even farts against you? On account of believing in comfort above all.
Thats cuz you gay, and imagine it to be a mans asshole.
I have a little of advice that seems to be working lately...take it as you like it.
For whatever reason, they get excited when sex isn't planned. I don't know if it's just my GF or all women, but they hate it when sex feels like a formality. There has to be some edge, or some element of (pretend) danger.
For example instead of being like "Hey, want to fuck?" or "Can we fuck?" (I generally NEVER ask directly like this - it almost never works) try to come up with something more exciting.
Sometimes my GF likes it when I just start pulling off her clothes. Sometimes right before we go to bed I just say nothing and get on top of her. Obviously she doesn't want to be raped but that element of pretend danger or unpredictability can help make it more exciting.
one other thing I can suggest is dropping a couple hundred bucks and take her to a nice hotel. Even a decent budget hotel like La Quinta can seem exotic if you live in a shitty apartment like we do.
anyways, that's all I got.
good luck man :)
...
Moar cottage cheese
Also, you sound like a sick 55 year old sweaty man.
>When someone goes down on you and you pray there is no fragments of toilet roll are stuck to your vaj
There's always bits of toilet roll stuck to the vaj unless it's just after a shower
My gf went through both pill and implant. Implant was horrible for her, pill was horrible for her. Now she's on nothing. We're doing the "pull-out" method now. I'm scared that one of us is actually infertile though because she hasn't been pregnant in the year she's not been on the pill or i'm just great at pulling out.
tl;dr gf not on birth control, horny as fuck
Couldn't agree more, both genders, in my bisexual opinion.
Then that's ok, it's just naturally embarrassing. No one has ever had an issue with queefs, that's just a normal result of sex, if someone is pounding a dick in and out a tight hole then it gets some air trapped in there which will release, just obviously the sound is not very sexy
I love it when women queef
Most women don't have refractory periods, but some do. The girl I'm with right now can't have sex after she cums and she has difficulty cumming with a dick inside her, just easiest for her to get herself off near the end of our fucking. She says it feels uncomfortable to fuck after she cums just like when dudes nut but she keeps sucking.
I actually just tried this last night and had the most enjoyable sex I've had in a while. Woke up and immediately went at her. She wasn't even sure I was awake when I first started grouping her. This just further proves that you're my clone and this is starting to freak me out a little.
When you find some of her pussy maggots crawling under your foreskin afterwards.
>cuz
GTFO nigger
Toilet paper grosses me out, especially when it's wet, so I'd be horrified and that's why I worry about that.
Nope, your cunt is simply malformed and attracts TP beyond normal.
Bro every dude has stuck his morning wood into a sleeping girlfriend. Never had a girl that didn't enjoy that.
Queef just doesn't bother me in the least. My bull balls slapping the clit are making so much noise, it's just another noise. The sounds of sex are naturally hot.
It's only a bit of paper, I lick it off
the shit that makes her horny makes me soft and the shit that makes me hard makes her dry... fucking yay
How often are you guys having sex? Sometimes a lack on entertainment in the bedroom comes from too much time spent in the bedroom. You might try reducing how often you have sex and see if that works. Sex will get boring no matter who you're doing it with if you're doing it four to five times a week.
Or she cums but then becomes lazy as fuck and you can just tell she's waiting for you to finish.
This exact thing happened to me when my wife went on the implant. Rip it the fuck out, try a different pill. I went through this for a year before I told her that if she doesn't fix it i'm gone. Well, she fixed it, and now we have great sex again. Thanks Obama.