ITT: things you think only you do. I'll start

ITT: things you think only you do. I'll start.

Before I can take my first bite of cereal, I make sure all the cereal has been submerged in the milk at least once. There can't be any dry spots.

every non-barbarian does that.

While I shower, I lather shampoo in my butt cheeks and fart to make bubbles I can pop.

Before i piss in my toilet, i check behind my shower curtain. cant have any robbercunts see my wing wang

I fold the tp before wiping

hey i am a barbarian and even i do that dry cereal is nasty like raw sewage nasty like cook that shit

>Have an itch deep between my ass cheeks.
>blow a fart hard enough to scratch it.

Come to Sup Forums and don't look at rule 34 threads, trap threads, black threads, or dubs threads.

Yep, I do that too. Cereal tastes objectively better with milk. Anyways, for my part
>wear multiple layers of clothing for that comfy feel

masturbate to myself

when i shower i like to give myself an enema.

>talk to myself and act out little ideas by myself

wtf are you ?

Use hot dogs to simulate male frottage.

Microwaving them makes them too hot. Warming them on low heat in water gets it to a better "body temp". I hold it enough not to crush the hot dog while stroking. When I'm ready to cum, I stroke faster, holding the hot dog in my other hand lovingly rubbing the bottom of the head. Or I suck it. Depends on what I feel will make me cum harder at the moment.

Its the only way I can enjoy it without doing anything gay.

i do that everytime

Same!

like everyone else

> Scream at soup

Y.A.N.A.

eat right and workout on a daily basis

how do you give yourself an enema without a douche?

I masturbate

push the shower head against my put untill it becomes waret tight and the water has no other way to escape than into my anus

One better is when you have a really itchy anus, like right on the inside, and you also need a really good shit. You go for a shit and the solid girth of it helps scratch the itch from the inside. Holy shit that feeling is amazing.

I do the same, hate that shit

done this before
hard one to explain to other people
essentially the idea of making love to myself while still being me

Tits or GTFO

God you're such a fucking rebel

>pretend to be holding a rifle every time I run up the stairs
>enter and clear my room like a swat team guy
>flex and REEE in the mirror when no one's home
>halfheartedly stroke my cock while browsing through Sup Forums, not even looking at anything arousing

Make sure I slaughter a goat to the great god M'beke before leaving the house every morning.

Take Japanese language and culture learning seriously.

>t. elite-weeb

Does it get you off or something?

that sounds expensive.

I cut my toast like this.
GF thinks it's weird.
Then I eat the top/smaller part first.

I used to do that until I accidently kicked my bathroom door down.

I do the first two all the time unless I have my airsoft gun then it gets worse.

Me too, except I have two nudes of Bart Simpson I troll the r 34 threads with sometimes.

some times it gets me hard. but not everytime.
i guess i have to be in the right mood.
but taking a dump afterwards is amazing.

If I got a bag of chips, I used to eat them in the same order:

>seperate the broken pieces from the whole chips
>eat the broken pieces first
>eat the whole chips in order from smallest to largest
>somehow they tasted better this way

u fuken wot m8

thats because it is weird.
>muh symetry

You have hemorrhoids. Go see a doctor.

> asymmetry is my trigger

bruh what is wrong with you

When jerking off, when I'm about to cum and put my finger on my urethra or squeeze my head. Then grab a tissue so there's no cleanup.

I don't think I've cut bread in half since I was 10.

That's really bad for your urinary tract. Stop doing that and learn to edge instead.

Or they have a anal fissure

I prefer to stick the hotdogs up my asshole and push it in and out like a dick. pic related. a hot dog in my asshole

holy fuck, can't that kill you?

I think fissures present themselves in a much more painful manner. Intense itching is usually hemorrhoids, fissures is a stinging sharp pain.

I do that!

I have to salute to magpies when i see them

1: why the fuck are you cutting bread slices for, THAT'S LIKE CUTTING A PIZZA SLICE, IT MAKES NO SENSE! 2: seek help you fucking psychopathic nigtard cuntfag

Could be threadworns

that's just plane weird my friend.

I put the vegimite in the fridge

the fuck is vegimite, you mean marmite?

The struggle is real.

holy shit that autism

Fuck can you imagine. Actual live parasites living inside your ass.

Well, I think it's safe to say I'm the only one who cuts my toast like that.

kill every one in a web comic I made and some how get a fan base

A disgusting yet common problem. In the pharmacy I work at we get a lot of parents asking for Mebendazole (the drug that stops them.)

Same. Even when imma shit

I eat pizza starting from the crust, it actually tastes better

I do the last one all the time. You dont need no porn to have a hard cock man

...

I GOT ONE! after i piss i take a piece of toilet paper wrap it around my dick, zip my pants, wait a little, then take it out to prevent any drop of piss.

Same. I always believed thats how to properly eat one

sup hussey

I do this too.

I didn't even think about it until you mentioned it

Holy fuck what are you talking about.
And yes, if you're wondering i'm italian.

I eat chips with pickle juice

Is that supposed to mean something? Italian pizza is disgusting, not nearly as american pizza but its still p bad

I browse dank memes

Holy fuck i do that too