Basically I fucked up at work. I'm probably going to be charged with breaking and entering, destruction of property, theft, and a few other things. This ruins my life as my whole goal in life was to become a State police officer.
So i'm debating if I should jump from a 4 story TV antenna mast on my house onto big rocks around a pond. Or if I should try another way. I'm dead fucking serious. Only if they try and charge me though, if they just decide to fire me and demand an apology, I won't. But if they try and press charges, i'm jumping.
I know its selfish to do that to my family. I just hope that I can go to heaven after begging forgiveness before the jump. Im going to try and go head first to either snap my neck or crush my skull. I hope it will be painless, but I guess its the no pussy way out because when I jump there is no turning back. Once I hit, i'm going to die, slow and painful or quick and painless.
I would say i'd take a video, but how would I upload it. So that wont happen.
I already talked to the suicide hotline, i'mm going to wait until I know if they are going to press charges.
Anyone think this wont work, and have a better idea? I don't have a big guns, drugs are out I have a weak stomach. And drowning is just to easy to react to primal survival instincts.