ITT: things that elicit a comment from your dad when he's watching a movie or TV

ITT: things that elicit a comment from your dad when he's watching a movie or TV.

>hot blonde enters
>"hoo boy"

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>gay character shows up
>oh boy another sicko

my dad is like a Sup Forums autist who sits there scoffing and going "yeah right, hes completely unhurt from that? of course!" at action movies

crypto white thread

>chicken on camera
>lol cock

He sounds cool

Got any pics

>hot blonde enters
>"do you have a girlfriend yet, bud?"

kill me

I don't have a dad

lmao

My dad loudly whispered "IS THIS A BLACK AND WHITE FILM!?" in the middle of a Taiwanese theater showing Hobbit 3.

>pope john paul 2 on Sup Forums
>fucking polish cunt I swear i'd punch his face right now if I could

>sports scene
>wow, I wish I had a kid who played sports

>rousing inspirational scene
>oooowwwwoooooh
It's like a sarcastic "I'm so impressed noise."

>white guy kills a minority character
>*chuckle*

My dad drinks a lot.

My mom knows a bunch of actors/actresses/directors which I find kind of weird because she doesn't watch a lot of movies or read gossip mags, my dad might be faceblind because he can't recognize actors who aren't Clint Eastwood or John Wayne.

>>white guy kills a minority character
>>*chuckle*
>My dad drinks a lot.

absolutely fucking based

>oh great, a dream sequence

Ponchos should really be a thing, especially if worn with just panties.

Your dad sounds like a tryhard. I bet he has a push mower.

>watching TV with dad a while back
>Bernie Sanders ad comes on
>"fucking socialist nigger hippies"
>awkward silence

The weirdest part is he isn't even the redneck racist type. It came out of nowhere.

>any kind of period piece before the 1900's

"Boy they sure had it rough back then, how did they even survive."

any time there's a "full figured" woman (fat) with giant tits he yells

"hey now, big girl!"

so like any time he watches a game show

...

>gay character on screen
>makes a gun with his finger and goes ZAAAP~

He loves the Simpsons and John Waters

>something embarrassing happens on screen
>dad chuckles and says out loud "remember when [similar situation] happened to you, son?"

Yes, dad, I fucking remember.

lmao

>dad catches the walking dead
>rick shooting down some saviors
>he says "wait shouldn't they band together? I mean it's humans vs zombies right?"
That's when I knew my dad was patrician

these people get paid to play this game.

You could learn something from dad

>every time there's a hot girl on screen
>"That's what I want for Christmas"
>mom sitting there with us
>everyone else beside my dad feels uncomfortable

>character starts giving a speech that's just a mouthpiece segment straight from the director about some ideology
>dad grunting and sighing

i never knew my father

That's how he keeps his alpha status. Why don't you stand up for your mother, you little shit?

>his dad wasn't racist

>casually mention that to him that he should leave the crevice he has hid himself away in since his metamorphosis
>he spits back at me Ỳ̶̶̧̫̱͔͍͔̰̱̗̩͚ͅO͜͜͝҉̙͍͕̺̺͕̰̬̼̤̝̹͉ͅU̧̢̮͚͇̕ ̷̬̦̪̳͙̹̲͕͓̙͕͜͝B̵̵̨̩͚̝̟̖̳͠R͏̺̞̗̺͍͈̼͇̜̻̫̝̥̱̠̕͡Ó̻̙̹̹̲̻͈̞̟̬͍͉͘ͅỪ̴̬̲̹̥͍͖̲͜͝G̸͔̱̝̙̼͔̻͎̳͠H҉̲͔̠̤͕͎̼̀ͅT̰̬͎̘̙͉̳̫̣̫̻͖͡͝ ̷̤̖͙͉̥̀̕͜T̴̛͟͡҉̹̗̜͚͙͓̗̖̭͈̱͓̙͎̞̭H̵̼̼͈͓̤͇̮̤̱̻̰͕I̶̙͎̖̤͎͡S̢̟͔̪̗͙̦̪̱̹͜͠ ̭̥̹̲̞̪̬̫͕̰͚͡R̸̡̻̘̱̱͖̻̦͈͖̥͖͟͞U̴̟̺̳͓̙̰̕I̵̴̲̪̦̠͖̹͔̙̺͉̕̕Ǹ̸̸̴̫̣̖̮͔̗̣̥̝̯̜͓́ ̷̡̧̬̪̘͖̕͢Ò̙̲̱͍̞̥̤͓̹̻͚̙̗̀̕ͅͅN̵̛̞̳͍͍͉̟̖̮̲̺͔ ͏͏͏̤̤̭̬̞Y͏̸̸̨͇͔̥̞̫͝Ơ̸̴̢҉͉̖̫̼̫̖͇̣̼̺͍̖̹ͅU̡͖̲̱͎̭̘̥̠̹̰̫͕͎̻̕͢ͅR̵̙͎̖̲̯͖̥̦̖̣͉͓͘͟͠S̶̢̻̦̮͡E͢҉̷̻͚̗͚̫̺̠͎͇̳͞Ĺ̵̡̼̤͎̩͚̼̺͝F̴̡̼̬͙̙̩͍͎̬̲̣̭͉

jeez dad

youtube.com/watch?v=zJ8s4cX_uWk

>everytime this is on
>wow I'd probably break an ankle haha

youtube.com/watch?v=y6cgzBgWTss
>everytime this is on
>yeah the barefoot guy was a cunt but he was entertaining

>They mention that the earth is millions of yours old, or talk about evolution
>he says rubbish and scoffs
>Gay people kiss or it illudes to homosexuality
>ew and visible disgust

>attractive woman giving any serious performance or reading the news
>"yalla shut your dumb ass, you bitch"

>watching any olympic event with the possibility of eating shit like gymnastics or figure skating
>someone eats shit
>"HAAAAA-IIIIIIKE"

>dad's a retired engineer that worked at NASA and defense contractors
>some scene that doesn't make sense technically/physically
>dad goes on a loud rant on how it's bullshit

*years

>watching Drive with my peepaw
>gee son, you sure have shit taste, you need to be more like Jamal

thanks a lot asshole

Arab dad?

>20 minutes watching a movie
>i hear snoring

>champagne appears on screen
>"MAAAAAHAAA the french champagne"

>watching attitude era raw is war
>step dad comes in
>divas match comes on
>step dad stays

Anyone up for the bantz does this lad

Yeah, he's pretty westernized but he seems to revert back to traditional mentality when watching tv

you should watch The Martian with him

my dad never watches films when me and the buck hang out

kinda fridge desu

not completely but kinda

My dad isn't an asshole so he doesn't talk during movies. We do discuss them though after we walk out of the theater.

Memorable things were we both loved Walk Among The Tombstones and John Wick (Though we preferred Walk Among the Tombstones) and he called No Country For Old Men 7/8ths of a great movie

He also gives me shit for The Searchers being my favorite movie and he prefers The Cowboys or True Grit. The bantz is pretty good

he alreday knows you're gay.

>peepaw
>Jamal

>a is couple kissing for more than one second
>"oh boy they should get a room eheheheh"
>"they should eat some lunch instead(?) ehehehe"

I've watched more stuff with my grandpa. It's mostly golf but every time he notices a new black commentator or female he will stop for a few seconds and say something like, "well I suppose they just had to have another one"

>Any time a guy does something really cool or badass
>"Reminds me a bit of myself"
(you) dad

>sleazy rich old man character
>"auld jew"
>black person
>"crazy nigger"

>Ellen Degeneres comes on screen
>"Is that Ellen Degenerate?"

Classic dad bantz

Agreed. This cuck needs to learn how to have the correct opinions, pronto! Too bad there's no downvote button we could use against this degenerate.

this looks like my ex except the cock was black

>turn on the tv
>"When are you going to get a job?"

He's right user.

...

I chuckled.

How is it being a faggot? You guys have a lot of rights these days

>cute girl on tv
>"When are you going to get you one of those, huh user?"

Based dad.

>sports
>american "football"

>dad is 6'6" bearded powerlifter
>any time a small Asian girl comes on screen he says
>"oh she's cute, huh?"
>mom is white

>an autistic neet gets bullied and laughed at
>hey son he's just like you hahaha

>this is getting ridiculous, user
>you know you cant live with us forever
>"i know"
>you've been saying "i know" for 5 years!
>"i know"

you're dad want it and asian kind

>actor portrays a crazy character well
>'he's a good mental'

Kek'd my dad does this too.

Your dad's a dumbfuck, lad.

>(?)

He's smarter than you. Sorry your disgusting pleb show was outed as the retarded trash it is

>neet masterrace on screen
>I wish I could live like him son, I'm glad you're one of the chosen people. Without you our species would be doomed; I for one am glad to support your life choices and I do believe that each and every parent out there should raise his children like I did with you. Not only this, but I also feel sorry for every wageslave out there, just imagine working 24/7 for a boss that hates you, with people that want you to fail and in a field you hate. Wageslaves are really destroying our planet, they're clinging to every bit of traditional society, especially in its more dire aspects such as slavery, because they're afraid of change. We can save them user, please help me to save them like I did with you.

>movie has ambiguous ending
>Stupid fucking movie!

>strong female character doing something useful and empowering

"Alright this bitch is already getting on my nerves"

...

>hot underage schoolgirl shows up
>I wouldn't mind getting up her clacker eh son

>successful woman appears on screen
>"haha that's the type of stuff you only see on movies"

>big gun fight happening
>"how the fuck has that guy not been hit yet? are they fucking blind?"

>sex scene
>"i miss when the times when ur mom did that hahaha"

>durr in a zombie apocalypse everyone would become allies against the zombies :D
Nah m8, your dad's a retard who doesn't understand people. Sounds like you're a chip off the old block.

ahah

>woman shows her tits
>dad puts his hand in front of my eyes


dad, i'm 25

>girl with big boobs
>"holy moly"

>Dad left

:^(

fucking idiot who reads deep observations about the human condition into the motherfucking Walking Dead

>any sonic commercial comes on
>"Oh these fags again"

>has no clue how human nature works
I guess that's autism

based

just akward reactions

>french girl gives blowjob in movie
>dad : ''you know what they say about french girls huh?''

>guy goes to a brothel
>dad ''have you ever been to one of those?''
>gives me a look that says ''i sure have''

>it's a "deep observation" that with no infrastructure people would revert to a tribal lifestyle

Have you guys ever talked to your dad about sex stuff? I don't even know if he slept with a woman before he met my mom

No and I never will, I'd rather let my parents think I'm gay

>he doesn't know he is the embodiment of "my wife's son"
shit man i feel for u i really do

Girls who grow up on farms or near animals menstruate earlier because they see animals fucking and this stimulates their menses.

no but my grandpa married my 14yo grandma when he was 21. simpler times

>my dad might be faceblind because he can't recognize actors who aren't Clint Eastwood or John Wayne.
>*black girl appears on screen*
>my dad: "Is that Beyonce?"

>I can see why you like Rome
>there's lots of titties in it

yeah dad....