I'm not sure if this is my loneliness speaking or if this is a common occurrence...

I'm not sure if this is my loneliness speaking or if this is a common occurrence, but I think I am in love with Tina Fey. Tina thread?

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youtube.com/watch?v=j-5Q7yuaXjM
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What the hell is wrong with actresses nowadays?

...

Looks like she has waifued you.


I have a harem of waifus

I'd like to smell her sweaty stinky asshole after she's been camping for a week and hasn't showered

a-and then what?

...

I think Tina is hilarious but I remember watching this and just thinking "What the fuck is she doing? Is this supposed to be humorous?" during this bit.

She's just so perfect.

I don't care if it's airbrushed to hell, that's a pretty picture

There's a lot to love. I'd marry her and make some little oily greeklings.

Even Tina looks ten years younger and 20 years hotter when she gets in the getup of Ma Palin.

make her eat eggs

I know right! I like to think of it as what a woman looks like when you're truly in love with her.

...

My mom went to theater camp with her back when she was crabby and frumpy and went by "Beth"

also Amy is the superior waifu

CREEPY GLOVES FER MUH FEET

>Tina and Amy will never be your moms

Literally the only funny female comedian.
Name another.

Can you imagine her working her feet into those, while wearing spats and a sports bra. Then wiggling her toes into place in the little toe pockets. Satisfied with her new foot gloves she stands and does a little prance/twirl.

>thinking anyone will fall for the "I'll just say everything you say is wrong even though it's completely subjective" meme in 2016
AHHHHHH THE OL' REDDIT SWITCHAROOOOOOO

I love both of them but I can't help but prefer Tina. I think shes just cuter as she does her self deprecating humor.

my rich uncle's summer home in Fire Island, NY is right next to Tina Fey's house and their families attend a lot of rich people parties together. supposedly back in summer 2008 they were drinking on my uncle's deck right after Sarah Palin appeared they realized how much Tina looked like her and it all snowballed from there.

I'm not that petty I promise you, name another funny female comedian that makes me laugh, go on

>you will never fuck a rough, domineering Tina before fucking a sweet, nurturing Amy
just fuck my shit up fampai

I really wish I could man. The pickings are pretty slim. Damn shame too, a good sense of humor is one of a woman's sexiest traits in my opinion.

>name another funny female comedian that makes me laugh
I literally know nothing about you except that you for some reason think women aren't funny except Tina Fey, why don't you google "female comedians" and watch youtube until you find one so I don't have to waste any more time?

Kaitlyn Olsen?

Imagine them both in bed with you doing a good cop/bad cop routine. UNF

natasha leggero maybe?

who's who in your scenario? I can see both as either

I'd probably pass out from lust

It could start with Tina doing bad cop and at some point through a humorous transition they switch roles!

When Tina Fey was five years old, a stranger ran up to her in the alley behind her house and slashed her face with a knife

I came

I came

Huh, I never even noticed the scar before.

I never really realized she had a scar till recently. honestly if that's the reason she has her cute lopsided smile then its pretty sad. Her smile is still adorable though!

ucb era amy is literally perfect, she was cute and limitless in performing, not handicapped by race paranoia and feminism like she is now.

It kind of ruins it to know that at the time she was just fuck-leapfrogging every successful improv guy she met to get famous by proxy. I really don't understand how matt besser is still on good terms with her.

I came

The best!

I agree that women generally aren't funny, but there have been a few exceptions over the years.

Also correct, but I don't think she writes any of the jokes on the show. She still has the timing, mannerisms, and delivery down pretty consistently, so I'd say she counts.

...

>come home late from school
>Tina lets you in looking disapproving
>"Hey kiddo, where've you been?"
>you can hear the anger in the way she says "kiddo"
>"uh, I was just-"
>Tina cuts you off
>"I don't wanna hear it, I don't care who you were with, you have to focus on your work or you're going to flunk. I told you when I want you to be home and I know how long it takes you to get here."
>"I'm sorry."
>Tina rolls her eyes
>"Just get in here."
>You kick your shoes off and set your bag down
>"Woah woah woah, you need to pick that bag back up and get to work."
>"I'm really tired, I can't focus."
>Tina grits her teeth
>"You think I like being this way? You keep promising and promising you're going to pull your grades up and they keep slipping."
>Amy walks in from the kitchen and smiles really big
>"You're home! C'mere honey!"
>She gives you a big kiss on the cheek
>"How was school?"
>Tina furrows her brow
>"I'm trying to talk to him about his grades."
>Amy ignores her
>"Ohhhh sweetie you look so tired, do you wanna lay down?"
>"Yes please."
>Amy runs into your room
>"Let me make your bed for you!"
>Tina gives you an evil eye
>"I'm really pissed off at you, I feel lied to. You can nap for 30 minutes, then I want you working. Got it?"
>"Yes'um."
>"Don't give me that shit."
>Amy calls from your room
>"It's ready, hon!"
>Tina jerks her head indignantly towards your door
>"Go on, then"
>You head into your room and Amy is sitting on your bed
>"Go ahead and throw some jammies on, get comfy."
>You take off your pants and slip some pajama bottoms on
>When you turn around Amy has pulled back the covers
>You climb into bed and pull them up to your chest
>Amy smiles warmly at you
>"You look snug."
>She wrinkles her nose.
>"I love you."
>You laugh a little and mumble "love you too"
>You close your eyes and Amy starts stroking your hair
>You feel her fingernails on your scalp as she scratches your head lovingly

adair nabbed himself a top tier jewfu tbf

pic related

Based Joan earned it. And gave zero fucks.

While Tina and Amy have done some good stuff I feel like there too forced and have too much undeserved self importance.

female """comedian"""

yeah joan rivers was based tbf
youtube.com/watch?v=j-5Q7yuaXjM

...

> they erase the scar and you let it pass without comment

do you even tina fey? get on my level.

most reddit choice of waifu

>"I know you're struggling and I know it can be tough to get anything done when you're so tired. They get you up too early. I know you're depressed too, part of it is just being a kid, but part of it is just you being you and I know that's tough. I want you to know I'm proud of you."
>Amy leans down and kisses your forehead
>"You're gonna be ok."
>Amy smooths out the lumps in your covers and accidentally rubs your semi-hard cock
>"Oops..."
>Amy gives you an awkward, apologetic look
>"Sorry, I...That's weird."
>She notices you're pretty unfazed and smiles
>"I'll let you get some rest, ok?"
>You stretch your neck a little bit
>"Actually...uh, can you keep scratching my head? It's really relaxing."
>"Oh, sure! Anything."
>Amy scratches the top of your scalp, the back of your head, behind your ears...
>You let out a sigh and smile, and Amy smiles back
>She starts rubbing your chest, a little rough but slow and in a good way
>"Such a good boy..."
>Amy looks down and notices the lump in your sheets is even bigger
>She laughs and covers her eyes
>"Woahhh, dude...Woah, I should...Well, I mean..."
>Amy bites her lip and squints thoughtfully
>"Maybe...oh man."
>She laughs again and shrugs
>"Hold on..."
>She starts rubbing your belly in little circles and cocks her head
>"Are you seeing anyone right now? Got a little crush? Anything?"
>Your heart starts pounding
>"Uh, n-not...not really."
>Amy gives you a sympathetic, exaggerated frown
>"That's too baaad, you're a good lookin kid."
>You notice her rubbing is getting closer to your pelvis. You swallow spit and shake your head.
>"It's not...it's no big deal, I just-"
>Amy slips her hand under your shirt and starts scratching your belly as she rubs
>"Heh, I forget how grown up you are sometimes, you've got hair down here. Know what they called this in my day? Treasure trail. Isn't that funny?"
>"Y-yeah, I mean, I think people still call it that."
>Amy's pinky starts scratching the top of your pubes

Tina Fey is a smug talentless cunt

Amy schumer

Summer stage?

yup, she wrote about it in Bossypants

I worked there lol. She came by two years ago and I met her

small world

...

>"Oh really? That's good."
>"G-good?"
>Amy laughs
>"Yeah, good to know I'm not THAT old."
>"I don't...I don't think your old."
>Amy laughs with a snort
>"Too kind, you're too kind."
>She's scratching your pelvic area. You start to squirm a little bit, resisting an eons-old biological urge to start thrusting.
>Amy giggles
>"You know, I know what might help you go to sleep..."
>Blood is pumping very fast throughout your body
>"Uh...uh, w-what...uh..."
>Amy smiles
>"Trust me, honey."
>She starts rubbing the base of your cock gently with the side of her hand. It twitches as you shiver.
>"Is that good?"
>You don't know what to say
>"That's okay, you don't have to answer."
>The rubbing goes from side-to-side to up-and-down. A little bit at first, further up your shaft over time.
>Amy shakes her head
>"This is kinda fucked...I mean, are you okay?"
>You nod a little too fast
>Amy laughs through her nose
>"Right, right...you're still young, I remember..."
>She lies down next to you cheek-to-cheek and slides her fingers around to the other side of your cock, stroking up and down with two fingers
>She rubs her cheek against yours, then nuzzles her nose against your ear and whispers:
>"Mmmmm...it feels nice, right?"
>You nod
>"You want me to keep doing this?"
>You nod
>She gives you a little kiss and slowly starts to grip your cock
>She squeezes gently, over and over
>You can feel her smile with her lips against your ear. She gives you another loving kiss, then another, then another
>"I like this. You like this, right?"
>You nod.
>"Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"
>You freeze, unsure how to respond.
>Her hand starts sliding a little easier from the precum as she gives you more kisses
>"I love you...you know I love you, right?"
>You nod
>"You know, sometimes I look at you and...you've gotten so strong...and I've just been wondering about you. And now..."
>She slides her hand down and starts gently rubbing your balls
>"I want you to feel good."

they can't be womanly and attractive or else they are called shit actors and eye candy. Not to mention SNL has been shit for a decade and that's where this recent crop of comedy acts has come from.

I like the scar - its character.

Yeahhhh I'm sure that's how it happened buddy

Your uncle is basically the reason why Tina Fey is so famous for her SNL skits of Palin... Riiiiight

>not funny
>just keeps on going and going despite the fact
This was written by a female comedian, right?

>best female comedian in the world
>mostly know for her good looks
Why do females suck at comedy?

>mostly know for her good looks
she isn't though

I'm writing this for me, sperglord

>Amy gives you another kiss and lingers, and when she pulls away you feel the tip of her tongue brush your ear as you inhale sharply through your nose
>"Oh...hmmm...Sorry"
>"No no, it's uh..."
>Amy smiles
>"It's what?"
>It's...it's..."
>Amy leans in again and whispers in your ear
>"It's whaaaaat?"
>"Nice."
>She laughs quietly, and you can feel her warm breath in your ear
>"Hmmm..."
>She hesitates, and then starts tracing the very tip of her tongue along the outside of your ear
>You can feel her chest heaving as her breasts press against your shoulder
>She starts stroking you a little more aggressively, from your balls to your tip
>"This is okay, this is nice..."
>She sits up a little and looks down at you
>She gives you a quick kiss on the lips
>She beams down and sighs
>"Here..."
>She pulls the covers back gently and slides your pants and underwear down
>She looks back and kisses you on the mouth again, this time a little longer
>It's closed-mouth, but you can feel a little bit of tongue against your lips
>She starts kissing you all over both cheeks, slowly and gently making her way to your neck
>Your muscles tighten as she starts gently licking, making little circles that get chilly from the wetness
>She sits up and looks in your eyes, her face flushed and slightly sweaty
>"Here, I'm gonna try something..."
>She scoots down a little towards the end of your bed
>She bites her lip as she looks down at your cock
>"Let me know if this is okay..."
>She slowly leans down until her face is centimeters from your cock
>"Okay?"
>You nod
>"Okay..."
>She plants a gently, lingering kiss on the side of your shaft
>She looks to you for approval and you smile awkwardly
>"No good?"
>Your head bobbles wildly, unsure whether a shake or a nod is appropriate
>"Nonono...it's good"
>She smiles
>"Good"
>She inhales and exhales through her nose and kisses again

She is a great writer and actress, just not a good stand up. No shame in that to be honest

woman confirmed

>She's just so perfect.

no.

>I remember watching this and just thinking "What the fuck is she doing?

Tina Fey is desperate for me to think she's hot.

It's incredibly obvious.

She shows her tits (in a bra) every chance she can get.

So virgin betas like OP will think she's hot. When in reality she's maybe 6/10

It's pathetic.

>being proud of your body means you are desperate

I cannot imagine the disgusting body you must inhabit

>being proud of your body means you are desperate
>I cannot imagine the disgusting body you must inhabit

Aww it's ok White Knight.

You can put down your imaginary sword.

btw having tits and showing them when there's no reason. Isn't being proud of one's body. It's a desperate attempt for attention.

Look at the OP my friend.
If you can't see that for what it is then she got you beta boy.

btw I'm 6 foot 2
159 pounds

>projecting deep insecurity by giving your measurements to anonymous strangers over on a lithuanian macaroni sculpture forum
what a sad little man you are

what an insult, thanks for being a loyal reader

>Amy briefly pauses and looks in your eyes before running the tip of her tongue from base to tip, once again stopping for approval
>You gulp nervously
>She does it again, this time with her eyes closed
>She starts licking with more of her tongue, every once in a while letting a very brief, involuntary moan escape when she exhales and kissing your tip, strands of precum on her lips
>She smiles and nuzzles your cock with her nose, sliding down to lick your balls with the shaft against her cheek
>She looks lost in her task as she runs her tongue up and down your balls and rubs your tip in little circles with her thumb, her other hand unconsciously rubbing her breast
>Suddenly, she licks all the way up and sucks the head into her mouth
>You jolt as it disappears into her lips
>She looks up at you apologetically
>"I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself."
>Without thinking, you bravely hold her head with your thumb on her cheek
>She flashes a sly smile and draws your thumb to her lips, kissing and sucking
>She moves back down to your cock, wrapping her lips around your head once again as her tongue swirls
>She gradually goes down further and further until she's fully sucking you off
>"Here, let me just..."
>She shifts so she can face you, almost straddling you
>You can feel heat from her pussy against your legs through her thin pants
>She starts sucking deeper and deeper, sticking out her tongue so it brushes your balls
>Her head snaps up with a popping sound as she looks adoringly at you
>She kisses from your stomach to your chest and up to your lips
>Her tongue slides into your mouth as she gently circles your nipple with her finger
>"Okay...okay, let me try something else."
>She starts sliding her pants down, revealing her lack of panties
>She tosses her pants aside and starts grinding her soaking wet pussy up and down your shaft

can you do this but with Tina? I like her more

I'm getting there...

>"Here, here..."
>In one quick motion, Amy pulls off her Iron Maiden shirt and tosses it aside
>She takes a deep breath and points to her jet black bra
>"Know how to undo one of these babies?"
>You freeze
>"Ahhh, I'm kidding."
>She snaps it off in a flash and tosses it
>Impressively, it lands right on top of the shirt
>She rubs her hands up and down her breasts before leaning down and putting them to your face
>"Here you go, it's okay, it's okay..."
>She starts scratching the back of your head as you rub your face between them
>"You're a good boy, here..."
>She holds your face to her nipple as your tongue swirls when suddenly she slips your cock inside her
>You inhale sharply and accidentally bite down a little
>Amy sucks air through her teeth and shuts her eyes
>Your eyes snap open
>"ohmygod, I'm sorry"
>She leans down and rubs your nose with hers
>"Shhhh, it's okay. Actually..."
>She puts her breast to your mouth
>"Do that again"
>You bite again, a little bit harder
>"Ooooooo..."
>She starts fucking you faster and harder
>You look at the door worried that Tina can hear
>"Shh shh shh, it's okay, I can hear the TV"
>A tiny bead of Amy's wetness trickles down your balls as her breathing gets deeper and heavier
>"Here, can you rub my clit? You know where it is, right?"
>You shake your head
>She laughs and grabs your hand, guiding it to her clit
>"Little circles, okay? Can you do that?"
>You nod
>"And you're okay?"
>You nod
>Amy smiles
>"Good."
>After a few minutes of rubbing and fucking, Amy grits her teeth and shuts her eyes
>"Oh...oh...ohhhh, this is...I can't believe"
>Amy lurches as her thighs start quivering
>She shoves her face into the pillow beside you and moans into it as her pussy tightens around you
>You can feel more trickles running down your balls as the pitch of her moans gets higher
>She tosses her head back, then leans down tracing along your lips with her thumb, panting with her tongue slightly hanging out

>haha I'm so ugly guise look at me
Why do obviously attractive people do this?

tfw i have the exact same typewriter

You guys know Tina Fey uses Sup Forums, right? She talked about it in a radio interview.

She might actually see this.

They have ADD. They will die if they don't get enough attention.

youtube.com/watch?v=vJCEmT5Cqk4

>Amy looks deep into your eyes, her own looking glassy and half-lidded
>"Okay...okay...I wanna make you cum. Can you cum for me?"
>Hearing those words makes your muscles tighten
>"Y-yeah, I think I-I'm..."
>"You're gonna?"
>You nod quickly
>"Here, I don't wanna make a mess..."
>She slowly slides you out of her, and scoots down
>She starts lovingly licking her wetness off of your cock, smacking her lips as she enjoys the taste of herself
>"Oh, honey..."
>She licks you from base to tip before taking your whole shaft in her mouth
>You shudder as the tip of your cock slides past the back of her throat
>You can see her neck bulge as she goes deeper
>Her tongue squirming helplessly against your shaft is too much, and you grab her by the hair as you shoot cum down her throat
>She swallows like a pro and lets your cock linger as the last spurts trickle out
>She gives you one more warm smile before the sleepiness washes over you
>You barely have time to see her start to gather her clothes before you pass out

Wasn't she homely for a good chunk of her life? That's probably how she still sees herself, confused why people are not seeing the flaws she scrutinizes in herself while at the same time enjoying the attention.

>tfw tina feys scar is a turn on

>barren

>You wake up to Tina standing over you
>"Okay, time's up, let's go"
>She pulls the covers off to reveal you're bottomless
>"Oh my god! Damn it, I'm...sorry."
>She covers her eyes, embarrassed
>"I'm just...you need to get a move on."
>She peeks through her fingers and notices you're hard. She shuts her eyes again.
>"Jesus, I'm..."
>She heaves an exhausted sigh
>"I know you're young, I know that this...happens, and it's nothing to do with anything, so just...can you get dressed?"
>You sit in stunned silence
>Tina pulls her hand away and looks at you, exasperated
>"Well come on! Don't just-"
>She can't help glancing back at your cock and looks down again, blushing
>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
>You start stammering
>"Uh, it's...it's fine"
>Tina scrunches her face
>"It's not fine, I didn't even want to talk about it. Are you still not covering up? What's wrong with you?"
>You cover your cock with your hands. She looks down and can still see part of it
>"For god's sake, I'm..."
>Tina throws her hands up, frustrated
>"I don't even know what I'm doing here, can you just-"
>Without thinking, you blurt out:
>"I need help"
>Tina squints at you
>"Help with what?"
>You know it's now or never
>"Help...with...this."
>You glance down
>Tina looks disgusted. She motions toward your cock
>"Help with THIS? Are you kidding me?"
>"I mean..."
>Tina sighs
>"Ughhh, will it help?"
>You freeze
>"W-what?"
>"Will. It. Help. You keep promising me you'll work and you keep not doing it. I realize I've been giving you a lot of negative reenforcement. If I do something nice for you, will you work with me on this?"
>You start to stutter
>"O-oka...I mean...y-yeah, I..."
>Tina slaps her thighs
>"Alright, fine."
>She plops down on the bed and peeks at your cock out of the corner of her eye
>You can see on her face she's trying not to look like she thinks it's nice
>"I'm going to be very clinical about this, got it?"
>You nod
>"Okay, just...Relax."
>Tina starts to reach for it, hesitating.

...

Fuck this guyKeep going

hey, dummy