Careful sir, the bucket is hot!

Careful sir, the bucket is hot!

Didn't I ask you to pour some Raisenets on top before you poured the butter topping?

Thanks, you too!

>not mixing the popcorn with skittles and milk

ultimate pleb

popcorn only mixes with regular M&Ms, you chuckleheads

>not ordering the bucket of crab legs to go along with your buttered popcorn

Poor people shouldn't be allowed at the cinema

I don't think I could eat that after the negro man touched it :(

>Haven't been to the cinema in months and I miss the Pibb and large popcorn I'd get even though I never ate it all
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A JOB

>Tyrone gives you popcorn when you clearly ordered 'go'za

fuck's sake Tyrone, get it together

My falcon keeps eating my crab legs while I'm in the pre-movie shower. How do I stop this?

Pleb
Rent a Falcon flat at the shop before the metal detector/strip-search. You can purchase grubs & feed him at half-time intermission/delousing

>mfw I find a beta-looking falcon and throw Junior Mints at the back of his head during the flick

always amusing 2bh

>tfw you failed penis inspection last month and your popcorn privileges still haven't been restored

At least I can munch on bitey's birdseed.

>naming your kino-falcon Bitey
Disgusting.
*strokes Conrad VonFlatchester's head in amusement

If you think that's bad, my designated theater shooter fucking shot me in the dick, so now I fail every time.

Why don't you just volunteer as an anus sprayer at the bathrooms for when people get the shits from bad crab legs. They'll reduce your popcorn ban by 1 week for every 50 assholes cleaned. I never care about my dick cheese because my theater has really shitty crab legs so I can clean 20 assholes in a night easily.

>not keestering a rubber filled with Corn Nuts in your bum
Do you even kino, m8

Classic Landa

>tfw you failed your movie license exam
>tfw Tyrone has to take your wife's son to the cinema to watch pleb shit whilst your shed has a Blu Ray player and the Human Condition trilogy is coming out in a month

Every cloud has a silver lining lads.

>At least I can munch on bitey's birdseed.
Reported to the Kino Commission
We have rules for a reason, user

>Here's the popcorn for your wife's son sir.

>Falcons eat grubs
American education at its finest!

I almost passed my exam but I forgot there was a physical test in addition to the written part. I studied all night for nothing.

Geez man, you don't have to rub it in.

>sorry, sir. Popcorn is for non-singles, only.

Every time. I hate this theater.

why is Sup Forums the undisputed king of memes? It's amazing.

>Big hotdog above the black man
>Tiny pretzels above the white man
Huh... really makes you think...

>Casual racism

Because we have a dream
A dream of memes
Of memes so keen you'll cream your jeans

At least they didn't immediately kick you out, or worse, send you to the singles gulag like they do at my theater.

>Get to the categorisation portion of the exam
>Give an example of a film, a movie and a flick
>Call A bout de souffle a film
>Examiner says it's a flick at best

>singles gulag

Jesus. I still have nightmares about working in the popcorn farms.

Last time I went to the movies the T-shirt gunner keep blind siding me during all the tense moments of the Conjuring 2. Every time he nailed me he'd chortle real loud and other patrons would start to laugh with him.

plus you can make pretty good tips as an anus cleanser if you're cinema's in a nice neighborhood

Know how to beat the no-singles policy every time?

Get dubs.

Why would the bucket be hot? Why would he heat the bucket up?

Negro trickery

Buckets? I asked for a briefcase.

I paid for this to be delivered to me after I'd gotten the complimentary back rub for using the cinema showers, you fuck.

Then why didn't you do it? ;^)

>Tfw Tyrone was flirting with kelly from Technical while serving me crab legs.

My falcon flew away just by seeing that in action

Why does he smile so much?

>penis inspection at your theater
I think maybe you should find a different theater. At my theater, they don't violate your rights as a human being to watch a movie. Get a good lawyer and sue that theater if they did that to you

>not knowing about the liability waiver you're given before pre-game shower
Found the britbong

He dips his nutsack in the popcorn.

>Why does he smile so much?
Ask your wife, m8

>kino-falcon

but why would you have to sign something to just go see a movie? I am an American, I go to my local harkins and they don't have someone inspect my penis. That's absurd. Are you joking about this?

Man you must live in a shitty area. Penis inspections ensure a safe kino viewing for everyone. Unless your theater was chosen for the monthly scheduled mass shooting.

because of all the money he's making selling overpriced popcorn and soda

Why is the white girl on the back so serious?

Where exactly is this kinema you go to, it needs to be reported to your local kinography authorities, for all we know they don't even apply the proper falcon policies

uh oh spaghettios

On the topic on Kino-falcons

>be me
>half-time intermission bell rings
>theater patrons congregate at eatery, shower room
>check up on Lord Vader in his rented falcon flat only to find he's escaped
>panic.jpg
>scour the building calling for Lord Vader as patrons towel off
>tap on my shoulder, in-house security manhandles me & drags me into the camera room
>explains to me that Lord Vader escaped, opened up several other flats & had his way with several female falcons
>I now work at said cinema to pay off Lord Vader's monthly falcon-child support
Oh the plus side, Warcraft was fun

>that fucking whore tyeesha
>tyrone was MINE
>no BBC in me right now

>scheduled mass shooting
Ok now I know you're joking. Why would you joke about a tragedy online? If your real name was displayed you wouldn't have the balls to say that coward

shut up you fool

Why was she allowed in the screening at all? She clearly is a single, didnt order the obligatory crab legs bucket AND has no falcon with her

poor stacy

Literally fucking reddit

Pretty much this & Sounds like someone is going rogue with the way they're running things.

>no kino-falcon facilities
>no popcorn bans
>no pre-movie showers
>no falcon flats
Next you'll say they don't serve crab legs or spaghetti in a tin foil bowl

What's wrong with reddit? It's a great site

damn that's a big bucket.

Post more american snacks famm

You can't give falcons sith names, everybody knows they get corrupted

I'll have your finest gourmet pretzel please

Didnt you ask for your kino-appointed falcon-lawyer? Or was it a late showing?

For once in my life I want to visit this fantasy movie theater that Sup Forums always memes about

For the record, my falcon's favorite wrestler is pic related

But he does have a tendency to elbow drop me randomly.

>tfw the Kino Kommisar finds your GF was a pillow all along
They have me in the cinema dungeon right now, what am I in for?

some of these may be memes, but the NSP is very real. Sometimes you can tip your way passed it though.

Do you guys ever pay extra for the car waxing? I prefer to get the car wash over as soon as possible, I find it distracting going through the water jets whilst trying to watch a movie. A bunch of attendants vacuuming under my floor matts would just prolong my discomfort.

they don't accept singles

I actually visited a cinema one time that sold crab legs, but that was many years ago back when my wife was still alive. The theater was located on the edge of san francisco bay. It was a stone's throw away from alcatraz. If I close my eyes I can see it now. I can feel the salty wind on my face, the cool breeze of the fog settling on my dark skin.

I went inside the theater only to be stopped at the ticket ripping booth. We don't accept your kind in here, the handle barred mustached gentleman of color said. I was not negro enough, my half white, half black skin stood out like a diamond in the shallow end of the pool. I decided to sneak in through the rear entrance while the other coloreds were leaving.

They sold crab legs at the concession stands (the theater was on the warf so they cold them there). Crab legs were my favorite food. I enjoyed the black and white motion pictures with my wife who also snuck in. Those were better days

What a "movie"?

Jesus Christ user... I don't think I can even tell you.

this is actually pretty good

It was a late showing & the falcon lawyers had all gone home for the night.

It's worse than a kino, but better than a flick

are you a professional author or something?

>I find it distracting going through the water jets whilst trying to watch a movie
M-moo've...?
Is that a French thing you eat while watching kinema?

Is it worse than hotdog roller duty?

I can relate

The Kino Kommisar... he... flays one of your fingers.

Last time I went to the movies someone left the retard pen unlocked and they made their way straight to the sand volleyball courts and threw sand at everyone in sight.

It took 40 minutes for cinema staff to corral them back into their designated area.

clever gal

Almost all of your food has at some point been handled by black and or brown people. Your only choice is to starve until you die

What? No way!

He makes you... kill... younglings

...

nice post

They make you clean up after showings of The Anvil Hoarder

how much do you guys tip the attendant who changes your diaper after you get out of the movie?
I usually give them a 20% tip

...

That's why you have to buy the dakimura special from the friendly black guys at the consession stand. I wish they would allow you to watch more than half the kino tho. They told me that waifus don't make you less of a single

Has anyone found a way to dupe the No singles policy? Last time I tried going with my mom but they ran a background check and kicked us out...

Can someone please explain this meme?

He cold be a professor author. Four real.

find another NEET and pretend to be gay

10/10 post. this is seriously the best thing I've ever read. changed my life, made me a new person. incredible concept, flawless execution. the post of a lifetime

I want to give you my virginity for writing this

I feel guilty when black people serve me.
I understand it's only their job but still.