Be Australian

>Be Australian
>need to have 12 bottles of anti-venom lying around the house

is Australia a meme?

>Be Brit
>can't even kill it with a knife without being arrested

stop bullying Australia they are good pls thank you

hope they didn't kill the poor fella just defending his shoe

Sydney cucks will defend this

>Be Sudanese
>Too poor for antivenom
>Die of starvation before the spider's venom is able to fry your nerves

>all the legs and everything crawled around my finger and I couldn't get it off
fug

>Be Dutch
>inject yourself with the venom to get high after maxing out your cocaine tolerance

When I was a kid and we were putting new wiring around the house, my old man made make my brother and myself get under the house and set up all the cables, as well as the wiring in the roof. The cunt was too cheap to pay an actual electrician to do it and when I complained about red backs he told me to stop being stupid.
What a cock. Also, fuck spiders. I'd suggest nuking the bastards but that'd only make them bigger.

>Be British
>Dont have to kill any spiders with a knife because we have no life threatening spiders

>Be britshit
>Fail basic English comprehension
Anyways yes it's surprising the hospital had the 12 vials lying around, not so much that he needed them. Regional hospitals here only have enough for early emergency treatment and life support if that, and they rely on fast evacuation to a city hospital (which may or may not have antivenom themselves) or being able to borrow other hospitals, clinics' & vets' antivenene

Okay I am sorry. Yet again I was trying to garner Australian replies by leaping to their defense

Do you get any huntsmen spiders in the UK? Hate those big hairy pricks.

They're fun to tickle

I have one that collects the dustbunnies in my apartment with his legs

That may work with some other countries but Australians aren't really keen on anything that seems like an outsider sucking up. Too used to being told to fuck off.
They'll probably just ignore you.

...

Kek

Every hole's a goal mate

No, theres been a few incidents of them been transported here but they never survive very long. The scariest we have are wolf spiders, which cause swelling and itching but unless allergic, are never fatal or move past being a bit of a nasty nip

>pic related

And its okay my Sudanese friend, its all banter here. Apart from insults towards Canadians, we mean them

You're sick, mate.
In all seriousness they move way to fast. From zero to holy fuck in one missed shoe squash attempt.

Okay thanks for that tip, albeit 5 years late. I always knew you were too reserved and despondent for a reason, even the Americans, Canadians, Brits and a brilliant New Zealander penpal I had here were too affable compared to you

Thanks again, for going the extra mile

We need spoilers on Sup Forums.

Honestly I'm a lot less concerned about spiders when I'm naked. Had a shower spider for a long time, never worried because when you're naked it's not like the spider can get stuck in your clothes.

That's why you check your shoes before you stick them on every time. Fuckers love shoes since they're dark and damp places to hide.

fpbp

>spider wont attack you in the shower
Are you seriously that ugly?

I apologize for this, but had I included it in the post it would have lost most of its quality

I had a resident spider in my back garden for years. ive never seen a spider as big as that guy before or since, He was as big as my palm and a friendly guy.
He would routinely take down wasps and flies.

he was a bro


no worries!

>tickling a spider

Their hairs are suprisingly taut, not like regular human hair

Its honestly like rubbing freshly shaved pubes

hot

>yamero~

>that feel when you would piss on the same black widow in your backyard every morning for a while

Did it eventually die of diabetes?

maybe

>sydney

lololololololol

>Mathew
hmmm

...

lel

Hey just popping in to remind youse that Sydney is the crown jewel of Australia
>financial centre
>cultural centre
>tourism centre

>Sunanese bants

...

>killing spiders with knives

Are you total pussies?

No we don't dissect weird insects with cutlery and call it cuisine

You should try.

you're about 1/3 of those you nonce

soon melbourne will overtake you as the premier city of australia

Honestly I just want a steaming hot baguette and the thickest cream cheese every morning, with my tea, life would improve 10-fold

...

>a steaming hot baguette

HNGGGGGGGGGGR, ARE YOU A GRILL?

t. Zhang Dong

t. Ling Xiao

fuckin hell sudan bringing some uproarious ridicule today

t. I call everyone a chink name when I get jealous because I have no other constructive comeback

Include me in the screencap please anons! i want to be on r/all

Save me from Islam my valiant knight!

Kevin, mate. Kevin Dong.

...

nah, they transported him to a zoo or something

...

y-yes, ma'am

damn Sudan is on fire

>Jealous of unaffordable houses, Chinese immigrants, purple haired SJWs and hipster fuckwits
Truly lelbourne is the jewel of the country

top kek

>believing memes on a filipino basket weaving forum

good going mate maybe those $20 beers got to your head a bit there

>yametekure!!!!

>on fire
litterally

>BBC BASED user

keke, this is why i love int

this
spider dindu nuffin
spiders are good lads

free ma boy

Wolf spiders are great, one of the best and nicest spiders. They will not hurt you at all, they will defend your house.

Also, this is why most Australians I know pefer urban centres over living in the country, where all this shit happens. I live in Melbourne, and Ive never seen the bush. Ive only seen an abo and a kangaroo maybe once in my life. The Bush is dangerous if you dont have local knowledge of the area, like which spiders/Snakes/Drop bears are common in a given area.

huntsmen do this too, just keep them outside your house

Top kek

Excellent bantz

Top kek
Based af

tell the american to piss on him to douse the flames

>Have to enter house via side gate because my sister is triggered by the noise of the front door
>There are 3 or more large (hunstman size) hairy black spiders that like to spin webs at head height at night and hang around the side gate after dark
>The light has stopped working
Coming home every night is a run through the gauntlet

reminds me of this

There are different kinds of drop bears?

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
still want to move there though

The smaller varieties in the south will only take a limb or two. The bigger ones most common in Queensland have been known to take down groups of backpackers at once

what did he mean by this?

>A giant spider wraps around your hand and does not get off whatever you do

>The spider was caught and taken to the Australian Reptile Park, where it will be milked as part of their program to develop anti-venom.

t. spider

SPIDERS FUCK OFF

How do the locals deal with them? Do they just avoid wandering into their territory? And incase you happen to see one before it attacks you, is there something you can do to defend yourself? Does vegemite behind your ears really work or is it a hoax?

I wonder who could be behind those posts.

>How do the locals deal with them? Do they just avoid wandering into their territory?
Yeah more or less like crocs, don't get in their way and they wont hurt you

And incase you happen to see one before it attacks you, is there something you can do to defend yourself?
Slowly back away and pray they don't notice you, or play dead until it goes away are the best options
>Does vegemite behind your ears really work or is it a hoax?
It's a hoax to get dumb europeon backpackers killed ;^)

Thanks mate. If things don't work out here, then I'll just get a heli license and try to get a job as as a mustering pilot in the Northern Territories. It's my dream job.

neither knives

张东
玲晓

Spiders are bro tier

holy fucking shit, is this really common in australia

i mean just look at the spider in the pic. thats not even a bug thats a monster

>is this really common in australia
no, just Sydney

...

wew lad

how can people unironically live there and sleep at night?

It's easy to sleep at night when you don't spend all day napping.

kek'd

don't think anyone's died from a spider bite in fucking years

lol