Feels thread? I'll spend the holidays alone and this page, some books and games are the only thing I have

Feels thread? I'll spend the holidays alone and this page, some books and games are the only thing I have.

nothing to contribute, but you aren't alone buddy

Bump for the feels.

what are you reading

exactly the same

Been laying in bed alone on and off for the past 6 hours with her on my mind

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right on.

I saw family and friends for the first time in months and they're all shit people. Was a weird experience to realize that when you're trying to grow people just stew in their insecurity and try to drag you back down into the pit of failure with them.

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Think about how blessed you are to have shit as apposed to living in indentured ser itude to some transnational corp, or just trapped in a shit country/war.

You gotta start with the basics to build up your foundation of contentment. You gotta keep things in perspective. Belief in a higher power also helps relieve wise, and it doesn't have to be even in God it can be in the higher power of logic and reasoning. Or a fucking god of Skyrim it doesn't matter

>Had a beautiful woman in high school who taught me how to be a man. Taught me how to lead and listen and boosted my self esteem.
>Left her because she was insecure.

>Had another one, nurturing and humble. Non-jealous, non-clingy. Stuck around and waited for me to define the relationship for her.
>Left her because she wasn't hot enough for me.

>Met a sexy supportive, artistic little woman who came to love me—or so she said. Took her everywhere, did everything for her, fell in love..
>She left me. Didn't say why.

>MFW I feel like the best of my chances are behind me, I can't seem to get it right and time only goes one way.

I love you guys

I'm reading the foundation trilogy, I bought it for Christmas

Anyone interested in a super sad story that's been going on in my life?

Post it Sup Forumsro

When I was fifteen I met a girl. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah and her twin were in my french class. I knew when I first saw her that she was going to be a huge part of my life.
I was right, because even though they were pulled from the class a week later and I didn't see them again until the following year, just Sarah was in my class.
We became fast friends, bonding over her Gurren Lagaan necklace. She and I just clicked, I'm not sure how to describe it.
We got closer and closer for a year and then she and I fucked. I had lost my virginity in the process of being raped, but i consider this my first actual time. She didn't know and doesn't know. Fast forward through the year. High all the time, hanging out, listening to music, talking about life and what we want. We know each other like the backs of our hands.
She has had a boyfriend this whole time, I knew, it wasn't an issue for me. She told me she loved me a few times, and I definitely felt the same way. She broke up with him on their graduation date (I was a year younger).
A few weeks later, on my birthday, I asked her out.
She paused.
She told me she'd started seeing someone already.
I kind of disappeared for a year out of her life. I come back and we're connecting like it's old times. She's still with that guy, I've been with my girlfriend for a year as we got together pretty much right after Sarah turned me down.
It was as though no time had passed, and, we were back at it.
The feelings wouldn't die.
Should I continue?

fuck u for being so relatable

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Sure, we're listening.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I love him, and I know he cares about me.
But he's told me before, months ago, that he doesn't think he'll ever love someone again the way he loves his fucking ex. He's said 'I love you' to me twice, and likely just by accident/saying it as he was leaving the apartment for work when I told him goodbye. But never to my face.
It just kills me. I dont know if it's a vain hope or not, wairing for him to return thsee feels.
But I absolutely hate feeling measured up to his golden memories of his ex.
Pic related. What an user told me before.

What a fucking comic.

in. i've posted part of my story before so i won't drag us through that, but christmas was the anniversary of my daughter's death so a feel thread isn't the worst place to be at 1AM.

also, i had to wipe my computer yesterday morning so I don't have anything on this computer but the stuff that shipped with windows vista.

...

Sorry to hear user

2/?
Cont.
So, we continue to hang out, and when I turned 19 she stayed over a lot. Her boyfriend ignored her and we liked to get trashed and watch movies.
She and I were going to bed one night and she started kissing me.
I hesitated for a microsecond and then went on to fuck her
we hung out every night for like five months, fucking, kissing, loving. We got each other gifts, talked about getting a place, never made it official. I asked her what we were and she said she couldn't think of me as more than a friend.
So of course, I blew up a little bit.
What do you mean we can't be more than friends? You wanted to marry me when I was going into the Navy, we fuck all the time, we never fight, we can talk for hours and you wanted to get a one bedroom apartment and take me to meet your dad. But you don't want to date me? What the fuck is that.
Regardless, we kept doing exactly what couples do for a few months before I broke it off because i got a girlfriend who I thought was going to be better.
(This is where it starts getting rough.)

I'm sorry for your loss user.
How'd she die?

Oh, wait, you're a guy?

No I'm female. I assume the user who conversed wit me knew that, and just wasn't being a dick by saying "tits or gtfo"

I didn't care about the gifts I got for Christmas.
I did care about the dream I had on Christmas Eve about a fellow college student. I don't even know her name, have none of her contact information (because I'm a faggot who can't muster any courage), but I normally act very humorous/friendly and end up making her smile and laugh.
I still can't believe I'm dragging myself through college with no job, living off my family's income because I'm a NEET faggot who should off himself. I somehow can act sociable in college classes and make people smile, yet I fuck up every interview I go to. No one ever goes out of their way to look for me or hang out with me so I end up spending most nights playing video games or watching TV. I find it near impossible to exercise for whatever reason (probably a lack of motivation) but I do manage to read a book every once in a while.
I regret not doing what I told myself I would do, over and over again in high school. I said I would leave town and hitchhike across America before finally returning one day and continuing with my life. Hitchhiking used to be a sort of manliness passage thing (many famous historical figures did it) but I could not manage to follow through. I have considered, multiple times, asking that girl who I can make smile and laugh to just travel with me. Spur of the moment, but such acts are condemned in today's society.
I have never had dreams about any girl like I have had about her. They're not even sexual (most of the time). Normally, it's just us, spending time together and whatnot.
I promised my family I would never kill myself after my battle with the worst parts of my depression. I promised a lot of things.

3/?
Cont
So, this girlfriend, let's call her Cat, is nice. She's pretty attractive, intelligent, and we met online, but, she moved out to live with me after we spent a week together a year into our relationship.
She's pretty emotional, but, that's fine. I have APD and I'm pretty okay at working through things with her.
So, things i learned.
-Cat is a slob.
-Cat likes to fuck up all forms of sleep schedules
-Cat likes adding strangers on facebook
I can look past this.
Cat starts freaking out thinking I'm cheating with Sarah, who I haven't seen in months. Has me block sarah on facebook. I do it for a few days and then unblock her and send her a 'fuck i'm so fucked help me' message.
She replies with how she gets it and it's fine and how she'll always be around.
This sudden suspicion has me thinking though; i check Cat's phone. She's cheating. Has been since before she moved out here. Was planning hookups around my work schedule when she wasn't working as much at first.
All of this was found on christmas morning. Today. She was in missouri visiting family for the holidays and i was going to tell her when I got back and talk it through but I just ended it.
That's when Sarah came over.
Cont?

I appreciate that. SIDS was her cause of death. It certainly does not seem as though it's been two years, but then my perception of time has gotten rather fucked up over that period.

Yes, continue

Oh, okay.

Well I think the other user was right. Love seldom occurs between two people at the same time. It's a feeling, as organically formed as any other. If he's not there yet, you have your decision to make.

I advise you to do your job and occupy yourself with that. You love him, and that should be its own reward if you're doing it right. I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but in good faith I assume that he chooses to spend his time, and his energy and possibly money on you for the feeling that he has when he's with you, and I want to warn you against your ego getting in the way of recognizing how special that is.

As a man, I can say that we tend to prefer setting the pace of the relationship, and it may throw him off some if you become overbearing with it.

Love him genuinely and he may come along in time.

Thanks, I appreciate your manly wisdom user. I know he cares and plans to do things to me in the future, in the form of christmas presents that are hiking/camping gear (I've never gone camping).
...I'm at a loss for words these days, but thank you user.

Care to give your reason as to why you're in a feels thread?

Oh man, jesus. I was imaginine a daughter who was already in like elementary school or something. Not a little infant. My heart goes out to you man.

Its your own fault. You deserve to feel bad.

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My condolences. My daughter is my world, and I couldn't imagine a life without her now. I hope you find a way to make it through, user.

Thank you. That's something I've found myself considering at times, her age. She could have lived long enough to start school, or graduate, or grow up, but she died at two months old instead. Ultimately, the age and timing of the death of someone you truly love are just different shades of grief - pointless, because it makes no difference what color a blade is when it's been shoved into your chest and left there.