You are now the owner of a macdonalds Sup Forums what will you do

You are now the owner of a macdonalds Sup Forums what will you do

>inb4 OMG EW MCDONALDS
sit there and collect the money, of course

OMG EW MCDONALDS

Charge a dollar for refills, suckers.

Cire all the mexicans and replace them with fun, cute, and loving animatronic anime girls. The vocaloids will then follow me around and suck mad dudes, slowly turning rhe fast food joint into a dirty, grungy, fast food atop for sex depraved truckers.

OMG EW MCDONALDS

bring back the old fry recipe with beef tallow.

>Replace the mayo on someone's burger with my own spunk
>serve it to them and sneak a photo of them so I can amass a collection of people who ate my jizz
>When I amass enough, I will send said photos to the police department with the saying "Child Predators". In a sense that they fed on my would be's.
>Wait for lulz
>Proceed to tell staff to fill orders for meals which is fake. All the meals are for me
>Gorge myself in the meals
>Die from eating all those meals
>Have whoever find my glutenous corpse.

Establish communism

>post a lot more hamplanet greentexts

secretly pay people to release bodily fluids into the sauces

>e.g. pay someone to piss, spit, cry, and/or cum into the mayo

mayo is creamy and thick.

semen is sticky and cloudy.

you think no one is gonna notice?

>buy oven
>turn on the gas

Fire anyone who says "mac"donalds.

Put in all self serve ordering systems, rake in more profit. Enjoy the sweet life thanks to Mickey-D's.

Invent time travel, swap out my inventory with a McDonalds from 1978. Mine gets voted best in the country, theirs gets shut down by the health department.

This is funny and depressing at the same time.

raise prices by a few cents

start skimping on whatever condiments are normally on the food.

Replace as many people as possible with machines

Fresh coffee every 30 minutes.
It's my way of giving back to middle/lower America.

Replace staff with wig-wearing, big-titted hotties. Have the drive-thru 50 stories up so flying cars can stop by. Have something called a Golden Menu.

Dress all employees as plague doctors

Have them greet customers by saying "Welcome to McDonalds. We are here because you won't stop eating."

Put packs of cigarettes in Happy Meals. Get rid of healthy items. Bring back fry oil that made their french fries the envy of the world.

Close the pool
Put up Help Wanted signs
Petition all franchise owners to close 365black.com
All Niggers stay miles from my place of business
???
profit

Get Ronald McDonald to come work there, because when I was little and my mom first took me to a McDonalds, I was so fucking excited that I was gonna get to meet Ronald McDonald! Then when he wasn't there, she told me that he must've gone home for the day and he'd be there next time. But he wasn't there the next time. Or the next time. Or any fucking time after that! You know what was there, though? That fucking burger-carousel-thing with bars that you climb up inside! That wasn't even supposed to be at McDonalds, it was a Burger King thing. I don't even know what the fuck it was doing at McDonalds in the first place! So yeah, Ronald McDonald. He'll fucking be there.