I haven't shit in 8 days and laxatives aren't working. What do I do medfags?

I haven't shit in 8 days and laxatives aren't working. What do I do medfags?

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get rubber gloves and some olive oil

Here is an Idea. Go skydiving so you shit yourself.

fuck off, stamper

Better get a spoon user

drink a gallon of olive oil and take 2 days off from work

Shove a dildo up there

Push until you give yourself a prolapse

Well, I got tickets to iFly for christmas, but I don't think that will work.

A good curry from a shitty Indian restaurant does me right.

Bad dragon. It is always there for you.

Go to the hospital, stupid niggerhead.

Use an enema.

I'm not kidding, just straight pump water into your ass and the shit'll come flooding out soon after.

Op you don't need a Dr however get some kind of lube and dig out the shit. Ita going to be hard and will take time. Enjoy it man love ass play. Of you go to the Dr they will dig it out. But why pay for it when you can get it for free.

I don't like the idea of a doctor digging in my ass with a spoon.

Hippie fag here... go to a health food store.. get some senna pods.... brew a tea.. drink it.. I guarantee you will spray paint your entire bathroom in shit.. you may well crap your brain out.

>I haven't shit in 8 days and laxatives aren't working. What do I do medfags?

quit taking dicks up your faggot ass

Reach inside and pull it out.

Shitload of water because your probably dehydrated. Then like 5 or 6 cups of coffee back to back a few hours after all the water has settled down.

Colonoscopy. Colon cancer could be causing this.

1 bottle of magnesium citrate, usually about 10 oz.

I had the same problem and that's what worked for me

Not op but i chugged 5 or 6 of the 90 cent bottles once. Didn't do shit so i went to bed scared i was gonna shit myself. Woke up in the morning just fine and released about a bucket worth of shit.

10/10 would recommend

Eat that cereal that has like 10 grams of fiber per serving every morning.

what do you think? you need to give yourself an enema.

>be me
>have brain surgery
>be put on lortab
>never again
>so strong i couldn't even shit
>had to use enema kits
>my anus still bleeds whenever i have a hard shit

...

well alright.

Well eventually the body gets its shit together and forces it out. One time I didn't shit for 92 days. But if I had gone to the hospital instead of a big risk of death I'd have a 100% chance of them cutting it out and having to shit in a bag from a new hole.
..take more laxatives.

>didn't shit for 92 days
bs

I haven't keked this heartily in a long time

Not bs and it fuckin sucked. Continually shit myself with overflow diarrhea, lost 60lbs starving myself trying to not add more volume and have a fatal perforation, before the nightmare of it coming out even began. And yes it involved large amounts of opiates.

Try the sharpie in pooper trick with timestamp.

Anal with a horse.

youtube.com/watch?v=mII9NZ8MMVM
watch this video or your mother slowly grow cancer. The next time you will talk to her she will stutter as a result.

Fill a flatbed truck.

seriously, chug magnesium citrate, look it up.

i was in your predicament. saved my ass. literally

1- don latex gloves
2- wash your latex-encased hands in copious amounts of olive oil
3- dip dive your fists in your anus
4- remove the turks

Stool softeners + enema/saline suppository.

What kind of laxatives?
Suppositories are more effective than ones you take orally, but a lot harsher. You may need a few days off work, especially if you use too many

Eating ghost peppers works for me.

take a large wooden spoon and poke in your ass with the back end of it
that should get your shit going again

>Magnesium Citrate

Came here just to say this. One bottle is like, $1.50. Drink it with 8 ounces of water (the more the better) and it will clear your shit out.

Fuck laxatives, that shit doesn't work.

where the fuck do yall live

you're an idiot/10 if drank 5 or 6 bottles. Or most likely, you're lying.

land of the free idiots

This. I will always keep a nitrile glove by the shitter, because the first time I had an impacted turd, I had to go get some, but I would have (gladly) dug out pieces of the monster turd with my bare hands if necessary. I just spit on the glove though...