You are inside this house, what do you do

You are inside this house, what do you do

>post ending in even number

Assume door is locked, break window

jack off

Look around. Turn on computer (if found), and masturbate.

You break the window with your hands, some pieces of glass fall inside, and outside, then you realize that is dark outside

Slit wrists with glass shards.

>what do you do
IMMEDIATELY stop mixing shrooms with acid.

You use a piece of glass to slit your wrist, somehow it doesnt hurt you.

Fucking cop out.

Crawl out the window without removing any of the glass from the way.

fucking what?

You use your skills learned from the military ninja school to crawl ot the window without even touching the glass, got out, and now you are outside the house, you barely see some trees and 2 ways

head back to the house

You turn yourself looking at the house, and then you see a normal american man standing right next to the house

Ask the man if he's really american, because clearly he is not fat

You call him a fag and take his pants

The man sees through your intentions, gets very angry and pulls out a swiss knife

you drop your pants and start running towards him with your anus pointed at him

Offer to suck his dick for your safety

Steal knife and ask him out on a date

You stole the knife successfully, and then you tell him if he wants yo go out on a date, the man shows mixed feelings but he doesnt reply to your question

dig a hole by the tree with the knife

summon shrek

Stick it in his pooper, ask again.

re roll;
shrek will fuck him for you

Place the blade on your wrist and say you'll cut yourself if he doesn't agree

Re roll

Roll

Reroll

Stab him in the neck

Roll.

You tell him if he doesnt go on a date with you, you will commit suicide, then he starts running into the woods, because he doesnt give a fuck

OP here, i have to go, i give all my mspaint powers to the user from below this post

Damnit OP you fag