whats the best way to set off an easily triggered fuckhead at work without getting fired?
The dude is a buzz kill. He is the guy that literally has to have a fucking safe space. Groans can be heard in waves because of shit this guy does. I want to trigger this fuck so bad he gets fired because he is cancer to the company culture. Quads and Ill do it no matter what
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>Ill do it no matter what.
>without getting fired.
Those do not go together, user.
Also, more info on the type of work that is being done and also a bit more about this person in general.
They dont go together but fuck it, quads are quads
software dev
>whats the best way to set off an easily triggered fuckhead at work without getting fired?
grow up and learn that happiness comes from within and not others. this is what you get for working at some dumbass tech startup.
protip: nobody gives a fuck about company culture. it's about profit, and if he's contributing to that he isn't going anywhere.
Have a christmas present from me....Merry christmas enjoy lol maybe leak your sister? snap leak,cf
Fuck with his code
change format of keyboard to some other language
piss on his chair
convince him to work on something totally unrelated so when the other project is due, he doesnt have it.
If he is tightly wound, try an Annoyatron
Go on..
What kind of workplace?
Have sex with em
software dev.. so office.
/thread
Prove to him that modern art is shit.
Shitting on everyone elses fun is bad for company profit. This guy will see or hear people enjoying themselves while working and make it a point to make sure he is super duper over worked and busy and is overly distracted....yet you can go by his fuckign desk at anytime and he will have some youtube video playing, facebook, some web app game or all of the above. It would be one thing if he was legitimately busy but doing all that other shit...yeah thats hard to buy.
It's a thing, google it you lazy fuck
>save and print cp
>put in his locker or desk or whatever
>tell your boss that you saw him looking at indecent images at break time
>he gets fired
>his life is ruined
>he gets beaten and brutally raped in prison for many years that's if he don't anhero
>you win and have a good life
Feed him some pot cookies, then a week later anonymously report him for drug use
>plant drugs
>fuck with his work
>trigger him in a subtle way noone else would understand and take a punch from him
>poison him with laxatives or something so he spends more time shitting then working
>bait him into a convo talking shit about the company and record it, just make sure you do it in a way you dont say anything negative
>fuck his wife and send him pics, that could be why he hits you!
if quads go to the pet store and buy hamsters, take a bite out of them and leave the corpses on the bosses desk with a not from "him" demanding a pay rise
>This guy will see or hear people enjoying themselves while working and make it a point to make sure he is super duper over worked and busy and is overly distracted
You know you dont HAVE to play into his bullshit right? Just tell him to quit complaining or call him out super sarcastically. Fucking with people is easy, just look them dead in the eyes and laugh at them. Just say some shit like "Oh bob, you're so cute with your "workload", what will it be like when you get a real boss?"
You don't necessarily have to be a total cunt to have some fun with this guy.
Plant some panties under his car seat then call his wife
Don't pay a bit of attention to him then.
Only talk to him when needed, and if he tries to talk to you make your conversations passably polite but noticeably short.
Seems like the kind of guy who just wants people to listen to him bitch, and if you don't give in to it it'll drive him to a point where he'll make a huge ass of himself just for a reaction.
what triggers the fuckhead fuckhead.
I mean sure, give us something to work with here.
Find out what drives him nuts. Neat freak, be messy: hates burned popcorn, burn popcorn
Just remember not to direct it at him.
I got rid of an asshole because he was a full on paranoid. Counted the candy in his candy jar each fucking morning because someone was stealing it. So I added candy. Literally measured his chair and shit on his desk because someone was moving it. So I moved it, but exactly 1mm. Also tossed big printout on his desk, messing up all his measured shit.
Dude eventually blew up at manager. Full up screaming hissyfit. The day he got sacked we had a huge pizza party at work.
Ima gunna re roll this again
So... I would say fuck up his car. Go overboard with it too... like break the windows and piss on the seats, etc. Then make sure he know it's someone from the office by leaving a note- something along the lines of: you will never be part of the team you jewish nigger. We all hate you and hope that you die soon. Next we will poison you coffee.
He will be a paranoid fuck for the next 3 months and hopefully leave after that.
Forgot pic
this
Does he happen to own a stapler?
Just ignore him or walk out the room when he comes around. Refuse to talk to him when alone, like just be silent and smile, but talk if someone else is there.
It will drive him crazy, keep you sane, and probably the most evil but adult thing you can do.
Treat him like an unperson, like he doesn't exist anymore.
impossible. he finds the crowd thats having fun, drops his pants and shits right in the middle of it.
seconded this is very good solution... to improve drop that shit on his work computer. HR will spaz the fuck out.
OP, do we work together? Everything you've said sounds just like this piece of shit Tony I work with.
roll
>do you rember the pineapple story ?
Do that or my cp plan
Rolling for cp plan
Not OP, but you have a Tony too?
We have one that spends like a fucking hour stretching and yawning at the top of his fucking lungs. Then types like a few lines and gets up because "stress". Thank $diety he's not in my department.
what does he do exactly?
1) Be fucking sneaky; if you get found out you're fucked.
2) It has to be something that irks him; a quirk he has about something.
3) You need a trusted accomplice; this will be difficult because when the shit hits the fan some people break
4) All evidence needs to be eradicated or disposed of
5) Make sure it can't come back in some HR kind of way
In my personal experience they fucker will hang themselves but management are cucks and will let it fester beyond a reasonable tolerance.
good luck user
I have worked with people like this and it makes going into work a chore.
makes an often fun environment one where others have to walk on egg shells so as not to set off snowflakes feefees when he is watching some shit metal band on youtube