Does anyone know of a really quick way to detox...

Does anyone know of a really quick way to detox? I have a drug test tomorrow for a job that'll basically save my life but I smoked pot a week ago. Please Sup Forumsros i need help!

Buy someone else's pee

Okay but how would I go about making the same temp as my internal body temp?

Get some of those hand warmers

Drink water until it hurts and try to pee as much as humanly possible. Also why is this job so important?

omg OP how fucking retarded are you?
Just get a nerd from your algebra class to pee in your mouth and keep it there till the fucking drug test. I assume you're in algebra cause there's no way you're older than 12 and don't know this trick.

> also underage b&

Ask a friend for their piss. It's the only way if you habitually smoke.

put it in ur mouth

bottle with someone else urine, why do i even reply to you...

dude this is going to sound straight retarded but my friend did this a month ago

same situation as you, huge job, but he thought he would lose it for sure so he killed an ounce with some friends that week

he ended up passing, we were fucking bewildered and looked it up. apparently if you smoke as much as you can, the molecules will become so frequent in your piss that the test cant differentiate between the thc and your actual piss

hes been doing this shit for months. get smoking OP

a year* ago

I'm not an expert but this sounds like bullshit

Charcoal and Vinegar, seriously, it's saved me hundreds of times.
Just drink plenty of water too.

full of shit

DO NOT DO THIS. If you actually try this you don't deserve that job OP. I don't really have anything else to say, say that this job'll save your life and play down what happened. Say it was the only time you've done it or something, or that you barely smoke and'll stop. That's really all I can tell ya.

It starts at 15 an hour plus i get bonuses and incentives. Money's really tight around the house. 3 people living here. 2 (including me) are unemployed. 1 has job but massive debt and court fines. Can't pay rent. Blah blah

Drink water. If you don't smoke every day and it was a once installed. Lifetime sort of deal and you are not a lazy fuck and have clear piss most of the time for a week you're fine

Wtf? How much of both would i have to ingest?

but only say this IF you fail the drug test

This

You'll die moron.

Planet k has some stuff for this. Maybe it'll work

No you won't you fucking autist.
Not a lot you stupid fuck, you can buy charcoal tablets at your local pharmacy, just ask where they are, take two every 6 or 7 hours.
Then, drink about a single cup of vinegar asap, like, a small cup, water it down if you have to.

On Wed. The other side. I am going to be the first of the most important part of a sudden, and a lot. It will take you about

Get someone else's piss in a condom and tape that condom to the inside of your thigh.

Charcoal is an over the counter supplement.

If you're retarded enough to need someone to say this then you don't deserve the job either.

ask a family member or relative for pee, do it all the time.

Just after a night of a cocaine binge. it's 4 in the morning and I have to get up for work at 7 in the morning. I'm still kinda high so I've decided to just stay up and not sleep. What can I expect during my working day?

Drink a 60/40 mixture of hydrogen peroxide and bleach. It is vital you get it correct so as not to harm yourself.

Now this, this will fucking kill you.

Jesus Christ OP, it's 2016.

Drink a fuck ton of water a few hours before your test. Like 6-7 bottles. Piss 7-10 times before your test and dilute your piss. Drink a 5 hour energy 30 minutes before so there are B-Vitamins in your urine and you can't be accused of diluting it.

This WILL NOT kill you. This will however allow you to pass the test.

Bleach cleans you out pretty quick.

Does that make it yellow? Because lack of color will make them retest you.

Find a cat. Make the cat drink about 10-12 beers. Shake the cat for about 24mins to make sure the beer is shaken well inside of it. Hold the cat above the sink with the plug in. When the cat pisses drink about a cup full mixed with baking soda. Works like a charm.

Op here. From what i know about drug tests, that doesn't sound half bad.

This is easier.

I hope you arent circumsized because if you are, you dont have any chance of passing

you gotta take drain cleaner and put it under your helmet, get it in the cup when you take the test

I've been on probation for a total of 3 years and it works everytime

apparently the chemicals in the drain cleaner fuck with whatever registers the thc in the piss