Has anyone on here forgiven a cheater ?

Has anyone on here forgiven a cheater ?

Has you S.O ever cheated on you ? If so to what extent ?
Did you get back together ?
How did the relationship turn out?

never ever forgive a cheater. or a lier or a thief. they can't be trusted, any of them

My long time gf (ex now unrelated), fucked a random dude, got preg, had an abortion. I found out like 5 wks after it happened. i forgave her and we dated another year.
when you get older, i mean like 30's, you find out love is like family. you go through some real dark shit together.

>> cheated on my then fiance
>>felt like shit every day for 2 or 3 years constantly thinking about it
>>told her and apologized profusely
>>she forgave me
>>years later find out she's sexting some guy in next town over, my heart falls out of my ass when I read her messages to him
>>confront her and she denies it twice then confesses, but claims the chatting was as far as it went
>>give her a second chance because she forgave me
>>no problems since that I'm aware of

Why are you ex's ?

Would you have forgiven her if she had slept with him ? considering you had shagged someone else ?

I did. Wasn't bad - she let another guy finger her and made out with him.

It was a bad decision.

It's not the act of forgiving that's bad. It's the inevitable breakup and finding out two weeks later she's with the guy she cheated on you with that's the real kicker.

My story is mild, but hurt a lot. Don't forgive a cheater - it'll end up hurting you in one of so many different possible ways.

Don't refuse to firgive them out of hate though. Just refuse to forgive them because you respect yourself too much to do that.

It's easy to forgive, that's not what breaks up relationships when someone cheats, it's the destruction of trust that does. The act of sex with someone else isn't really why it's so destructive, it's because it's a complete disregard for the commitment you've made to each other to be exclusive (married or just GF/BF)

And what's the point in being in a relationship with someone you don't trust? If someone cheats on you then break up with them. Maybe you can try a relationship again a few years down the line when both of you might have matured.

that's a tough one, I imagine I would have because fair is fair, but it would have been hard to be as cool about it as her

this guy gets it

OP here again.
My GF of 3 years recently cheated on me.
She came and told me instantly the next day hysterical and crying.
It was a one night stand when she got drunk and had sex with someone uglier than me
(she's NOT using her excessive drunken state as an excuse which is rare for women and takes 100% full responsibility for her actions, but is just saying she had drunk a lot)

I have dumped her and its been almost a month now of wrestling with this and talking it through and not seeing each other.
She says she will do ANYTHING to keep me (give me her login-details, give up drinking and going out and basically be under my heel for as long as I trust her again)

What do ?
If there was EVER a time to forgive a cheater, wouldn't this be it ? or am I a fool ?

Don't be a fool OP. You're never going to truly trust her again. You don't need her login details to trust her. It fucking sucks and hurts but let's be honest - whether he is uglier or not as she said, it will always be at the back of your mind of how she must've enjoyed that moment. I can't imagine being with someone like that afterwards. Do the right thing, stop contact and move on with your life man you'll save yourself the headache. Once a cheater always a cheater.

don't ask Sup Forums for advise

Dated who I had thought was the love of my life, she cheated after 2 years with a fuckin short, indian kid. Needless to say, she wants my cock to this day but the relationship would never work out again. I still love her, but I know it will never work.

Would I nail her? That's a different story. But i'd be too afraid to catch feelings.

My rule of thumb is basically, when you get into a relationship, if you think they're the cheating type they more than likely are.

You're probably right man, just sucks that 3 years gets thrown away so quickly because she made a colossal mistake. I do believe it was a mistake, it wasn't a prolonged instance, like an affair or anything. but still, getting shot is getting shot, even if its in the foot or the chest.

>don't ask Sup Forums for advise

Yea, you're probably right, but more minds are better than one.

yeah, my ex cheated on me... multiple times. each time i forgave her, and then she did it again. once a cheater always a cheater is as true as it gets. she wants to get back with me now, because i have the kids, but tough luck.

Fuck I support this, but at the same time idk. OP i'd give it time. If she's still sincere, maybe it's worth a shot. But I would still keep some distance between the two of you, just for your own well being to make sure she isn't gonna just take you for granted. BUT if you want the hassle free route, i'd say just leave it where it's at and don't look back. Cause guaranteed just because she cheated there will be newfound trust issues.

I cheated on my gf of five years for the first time yesterday morning, as a mater of fact.

look, if you're going to give her another chance, then you have to find out what the real problem is. people don't cheat if they're happy with their relationship. if you just chalk it up as a mistake, you won't figure out why she did it, you won't fix the problem whatever it is, and she'll just make a "mistake" again later.

Contrarian here.

I'd say take her back, but don't watch her or anything. Just be normal. Tell her "one chance. If you fuck it up we're through, never again and I have 0 tolerance for it." And follow through with it.

Nothing has to change, just the fact that she knows that you love her but won't stand for further betrayal. If something does happen, it doens't make you a cuck or loser, you were the forgiving party. And if not, then hopefully what you have is a strong bond made on mutual understanding.

You know what they say, the mended chain is stronger than one freshly forged (totally didn't pull that out of my ass).

Bad idea, forgave her once for cheating then it happened again, forgave her again to the same result after the third time I finally had to stop doing that to myself. Get out while you can.

Pulling two chains from your ass must hurt, glad you didn t do it

Leaking my way to 2017...try this out on any girl in your school lol snap-leak-cf

Or anyone for that matter.

Here's what nobody will tell you: Staying with someone who cheated can be awesome.

The guilt will stay with them as long as you're together compelling them to be better than they otherwise would have been.

Meanwhile: you go through life safe in the knowledge that you've got a free pass to cheat if you choose to do so.

If you break up with them: you're just giving them what they wanted.

Leaving someone who cheats is the merciful choice. Why would you make it that easy for someone who has done you wrong?

Theres nothing wrong with taking her back, and theres nothing wrong with wanting to stay separated. If you take her back give her full trust. Yoi domt need her login info, you dont need to force her to stay in all the time. If you have to do that then you shouldn't even be with her in the first place. Its all or nothing user. If you cant place your full trust in someone you shouldn't be with them. She obviously felt bad about it but dont pity her. A relationship built on pity or guilt ends in heartbreak and uglieness.

Fuck a whole lot of that bullshit! Trust but verify.

Nothing wrong with forgiving someone once and having no further tolerance for it, but being walked all over like you were is different. Im sorry if that sounds harsh man i didn't know how else to put it.

Its not bullshit really. If you see obvious signs of ifidelity no shit you need to verify. Controlling someones social life is completley different veryfing solid suspicions.

It's just gonna end in more cheating if you forgive u cuck

No you dont you cuck

No forgiving. Fuck that shit. Respect yourself enough to tell them to fuck off.