In this thread we discuss why Australia is the greatest country in the world to live and your favourite things about...

In this thread we discuss why Australia is the greatest country in the world to live and your favourite things about our great land.
Iv'e been to nearly every country in Europe and most south east Asian countries and every time I find my self always yearning to come home.
Sure there isn't all that much to do, not to the extent of some other countries, but we have it pretty damn good when it comes to crime, saftey, wages/earning, environment and personal freedoms.
I just love our relaxed way of life.
Pic related, Australian Cattle dog which is my favourite breed of all time.

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i like how we think we are the center of the world
and how we think its normal to talk the way we do

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the Bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can't spell either.

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.
It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea.
Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.

We have the potential to eventually be a big player on the world stage.

A stick is very useful for this task.
Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that are more dangerous. The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the night it comes out to eat worms and grubs.
The wombat kills people in two ways: First, the animal is indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles that outclass Olympic weight lifters. At night, they often wander the roads. Semi-trailers (Road Trains) have hit them at high speed, with all 9 wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller cars, the wombat becomes a symmetrical launching pad, with results that can be imagined, but not adequately described.
The second way the wombat kills people relates to its burrowing behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a Wombat hole, the Wombat will feel the disturbance and think "Ho! My hole is collapsing!" at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause the Wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much.
At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus, estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical' Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a short history: Some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and lot of them died. The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick. Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended Holiday and became Australians.
The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories.
Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world.

Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American.
Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country") and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth." The irritating thing about this is they may be right.

There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt. Religion and Politics are safe topics of conversation (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best {insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!".
It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite.

You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub.", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook.
Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australia, you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture.
Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.


Typical Australian sayings:
* "G'Day!"
* "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."
* "She'll be right."
* "And down from Kosciusko, where the pine clad ridges raise their torn and rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky.
And where, around the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household word today, and the stockmen tell the story of his ride."

Tips to Surviving Australia:
* Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it.
* The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
* Always carry a stick.
* Air-conditioning.
* Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fist fight.
* Thick socks.
* Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
* Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them", "The Stick: Second most useful thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42"

Lol those tips are actually pretty genuine.
Especially the slang.

australians remind me of texans. in a bad way.

I don't understand what's wrong with texans?

lots of stuff

mostly they are everything that people usually say badly about the US, loud, obnoxious, self righteous, rather stupid, and etc

Have you ever met an Australian? or at least more than one?

have you ever met a texan?

Never.

Is it true that you are required to vote?

Fuck off count!

Yeah, technically you are, you're supposed to enroll in the electorate at the age of 18.
It's not illegal to do so but it is illegal to enroll and not vote.
In my opinion it should be.

youtube.com/watch?v=gOr9P61OQu0

Hahaha do you mean "cunt"?

I've never understood the line in our national anthem "Our land abounds in nature's gifts"
What gifts?
It certainly isn't water there are no major freshwater lakes. Now this may be hard for you americans and europeans to understand, I am very serious when i say NO major freshwater lakes. In fact the only freshwater lakes on the entire continent are volcano craters, which are expectedly not very big and dams, which can't really be called "nature's gift".
Now you may be thinking "Oh but what about rivers" Well you sweet summer child. See pic related? That's the river. That's it. every other river in the country is either less than 100km long or completely empty for years at a time. Usually both. It's also not very big, it's long but it's discharge is disastrously low for our only river of note.
There's like 10 rivers in africa that contain more water than this thing.
I was Looking around on google earth one time and i started following the ohio river and I was astonished. It met up with other rivers and combined with others and together the whole system snaked through the entire country like really drunk highways.
It seemed absurd to me, before that point I couldn't imagine a landscape like that.
Don't get me wrong I like this country, but this may be the worst land on the planet bar antarctica. Whoever wrote that song was a liar or retarded.

why you writing out a douglas adams book? must takes ages and to what end?

So you want every abo in the country to vote regardless of whether they have any knowledge of the issues?

Worst land on the planet?
Do you mean resource wise?
Remember places like far north Queensland and the Northern Territory gets torrential rain fall in the appropriate seasons? And don't forget Tasmania.
Saying center Australia is dry is like saying water is wet.

As opposed to all the rocket scientists and doctors that make up the rest of the country?
It makes no difference. Also aboriginals are an insignificant minority, they only make up about 2% of the population.
There's more chinese in this country than aboriginals.

The Yarra is also of note... Since when does a river need to be classed as "oh note" just be length?
Also it is over 240km...
I dont really know others outside of VIC since i dont give a fuck about the other states, but i know for sure Tassie has some notable river.
"Our lands abounds in natures gifts" probably refers to a lot of farm land and our native animals only found on our island. Don't understand ur chub for rivers mate... might wanna get that checked, last time i looked, pornhub didnt have a "sexy rivers" section next to "secretaries"

Assuming that even the younger white generation has knowledge of issues.
Australia's biggest problem is a pitiful young people vote count.
The majority of voters in Australia are still our parents and grandparents.

Chinese contribute to the country... Abbos literally do nothing... name one of significance that isn't due to sport.

its not the greatest country in the world you fucking idiot.
PS. I'm an Australian

I think our culture is fucking stupid

Culture?? do you even know what that is?
We are barely a baby when it comes to other countries... and we are so badly influenced via USA and UK that we will never have our own culture... not to mention how multi-cultural we are... We literally can't gain our own.

Why are you so mad over someone else's opinion, I know it's Sup Forums but damn you sound like you have behavioral problems.

Hit a wombat doing 95 in a ea falcon wagon fuckd the wombat up nothing wrong with wagon still hate fords

So should people be judged whether they're contributing to society to earn the right to vote?

Our is that our culture?
A hybrid of many but never a dedicated one?

My experience with Australians is that they are either completely awesome folks or the worst fucking Anglo scum I've ever had to deal with. It's weird, I don't think I've ever met or worked with an Australian who wasn't one or the other.

Fuck off ya dog cunt. If you don't like it piss off then m8. You're no better than those Muslim cunts. Up ya dog.

Cultural hybridity.

I think that's a fair presumption.
If you're not contributing to the nation why should you have any say or input on what the future should hold for the country?
It is an earned privilege.

And who will determine who has the right to vote?

I'd say we have a pretty definitive culture centred around sport, Australian bush and wildlife, mateship, beach and outdoors, vocabulary and slang, a 'fair go' etc. Just because our culture isn't as obvious as say a country like Japan, doesn't mean we don't have a culture.
And we definitely haven't stolen our culture from America. As someone who has been to the states, each country is much different.

Your social and working status will be taken into account.
So the federal Government I'd say.

Kek what an absolute terrible fucking idea. So basically you want to strip the poor of the right to vote? Let me guess, you voted Liberal in the last election?

So a Government decides who is allowed to vote for the Government based on something as superficial and vague as "social and working status"
Sounds like a eutopia to me.

Your culture is best summarized as "Alabama with kangaroos"

Anyone got any nudes?

Lol no. Australia has much more in common with California then Alabama.

My point is, that people who don't know anything about the issues, really shouldn't vote. I'm an amerifag, and the reason we ended up with a dumb fuck like Obama is that people who knew nothing about the issues voted simply because they wanted to elect a black president.

No, not poor, I worded incorrectly.
Anyone who has been convicted of any major crime, anyone who has been on Government support (that has not a disability) anyone who has failed to produce proof of employment for no reason over a set period of time.
You know exactly what they would vote for every time.

Then stay there, we don't need any more left wing fucks in the US

So basically the poor? That's exactly the type of people you are talking about. By your logic, how about we stop people earning 7 figures a year from voting because they'll more than likely want tax breaks and you'd just know who they're going to vote for every 3 years.

Whats your deal with the poor? Are you a socialist?
By your logic only poor people commit crimes?
You seem like you want to give a lot of excuses for laziness and being work shy?

Yeah mate, Straya's a fuckin skits country, probs only thing that'd make it better is if the fuckin pollies would pull their heads out of their arses and lax up on fuckin gun control. I need a class A firearms licence for an Airsof gun? Fuck off...

The fuck you on about? Here in SA we get king browns all the time

I don't have a deal with the poor. You seem to be advocating for a society that tolarates division in class based on who's got money and who hasn't got money. And yes, crime is mostly commuted by poorer people, statistically. Most unemployed people want to work, they simply don't have the opportunity. Jobs are scarce ATM.

And people who talk about determining who should and shouldn't have a right to vote among legitimate citizens are just as stupid, but more destructively so.
Whoever is doing the determining will become the central power of the country, there's just no other way that can work out.
Democracy is fragile but your system is built to stand some stupidity and so is ours, the world isn't moments away from ending because some poor people are voting for a nigger or bigots are voting for a white man. The real danger to your freedom is people who are trying to get more power through money, military and most importantly, controlling the vote.

You're largely rural and redneck m8

Well the grass IS greener on the other side of the rabbit fence

Everyone I know that went to Australia said that it's such a nanny state.

Nope. Something like 70% of the population lives in coastal cities. We are big and rural, but no one lives in those areas as they are far to uninhabitable.

this is the most cooked shit I have ever taken a squiz at

honestly I think we just enjoyed starting with a clean slate and having most of history to look back on when forming our country, hence less learning the hard way.

Also we focus heavily on education and that just happens to lead to producing less dumb fucks

Dude you're talking about people in jail, on welfare and/or unemployed..
If you're none of those things you're almost certainly not poor

My original comment was never aimed and based at income bracket.
You turned it into that.
My train of thought was more on the fact of ones willingness to work and or to find work and to be able to prove it, which is already an in placed scheme.
Also ones behavior and sense of community.
Jobs are scarce at the moment simply because of the sheer complacency and pickiness of jobs.
You simply don't get the right to complain about not working and earning when you're a beggar who is choosing.
I never said that poor people can't vote, I meant intentional non earners and system leeches should be exempt from such privilege.

Nature's gift is 75% of the worlds raw uranium

Nature is a lot more metal than realised.

Tasmania doesn't count

gunna need that sauce bruh

>sheet complacency and pickiness of jobs
Bullshit.

>system leeches
It's more or less impossible to bludge Centrelink now. I had to wait 3 months before I could even get Youth Allowance as a full time student.

Your overall logic still makes no sense. Should we stop pensioners from voting? Damn old people leeching off the system. And besides, the type of people who do 'leech the system' aren't the type of people to vote anyway.

Sydney and Melbourne are, and thats where all the tourists go

>Goes on holiday, misses home country. This must be proof that home country is best!
When I travel I also miss my home, but that is because that is where my social network and life is.
The country itself is meh tier, but the friends and family I have there is why I like it there.
I'm sure Australia is great, I'd love to go there and see it for myself. But if I go, I'm gonna miss my home at some point, this won't make your country any worse in my mind though.

Fuck your dense, cunt.
Youre willfully ignoring and purposely bringing up counter arguments that you know full well where I stand on them and then play ignorant of it.
I'm done with this, fucking moron.

>your dense cunt
>your

Whatever mate. Take you toys and leave the sandpit. Why don't you go and google how a debate works?

Oh no, a grammatical error, nice one, really.
Also you debate like a child.
"YOU DIDNT SAY THIS POINT, BUT I ALREADY KNOW THE INTENTION AND MEANING BEHIND WHAT YOURE SAYING BUT ILL STILL USE IT AS A LAST DITCH EFFORT."
I wouldn't expect any thing less from a closet socialist.

>a closet socialist
Kek. And you mocked me for highlighting your shit grammar.

I can't tell if you're trolling or just an idiot.

It's ok to be socialist about some issues and capitalist about others. They use the labels to control you bro.

Considering besides the bass straight cable providing power to us, we only have hydro power stations here in Tas.
So yeah, rivers all over here.