Did your parents divorce, and if so do you think it has affected you badly?

Did your parents divorce, and if so do you think it has affected you badly?

Does it piss you off that you don't have a united family?

strawpoll.me/12016879

yes, yes, and yes. Haunts your entire life.

No, but they should've. Hated the shit out of each other.

Care to explain a bit more?

Mine divorced 5 years ago and yeah I'd say it's kinda shitty. Even though I'm 25. It's just torn everything apart. Literally fucking everything.

I mean they hated each other since I was maybe 10, maybe earlier, but at least having a dad around who PRETENDED to give a shit was good. Nowadays both my parents hate each other and hate themselves, my brother hates himself, I hate myself, there's no hope for any of us, we're all absolutely fucked, and I can't even talk about it because then they'll get all shitty about it like nothing ever happened - it's a bit like the war, you just don't mention it, you never mention it, you're not allowed to mention it.

Interesting, I've seen that sort of situation as well.

You don't think it's at least a bit good that you've got two parents, together, who you can always turn to? Even if they have their differences?

When they separate, you've got two people who despise each other and won't even talk to each other, and you can't tell either of them how you feel because they will spend their entire lives thinking everything wrong with you is their fault for not making their marriage work. They also will ask about the other one, but you can't say anything, because again they will get upset. And because they don't talk to the other one, they expect you to pass messages (but I never do)

And if you have any siblings they will repress their anger and emotion and fall into a deep well of depression instead - and again, no solution can be found, because the solution would be to talk about the fact that we're unhappy because we don't have a fucking family anymore, but you're not allowed to say that, because then the two parents (who have basically just decided they're going to feel guilty, 24/7, for the rest of their lives) will get upset and guilty and all that bullshit

mine are and it was the vest thing hat could happen. I guess it depends on how old your are when it happens. if you're old enough to understand it's best for both for them it can actually be quite relieving.

Yes, yes, yes. They split when I was 10, I'm 22 now. Even before they split up life was shitty, my mom and dad basically left my brother sister and I alone to start new families. They treated me awful and I hate them. Maybe in the next cycle of life I can have some sort of functional family, until then I'm pissing away my time with booze, weed & video games

>if you're old enough to understand it's best for both for them it can actually be quite relieving.
I was 19 when they divorced but it was coming since I was 10 at least

But they are both arguably more miserable now than they were before... well my mum definitely is, and my dad pretends he is with antidepressants. He's just a cunt who has no purpose in life so takes antidepressants to forget about everything.

Did your parents' lives turn out better then? Do you think you have better relationships with them now? I have WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY worse relationships with BOTH of my parents

don't just give up because they used to give up on you, man. Prove them wrong, settle the score, make them feel so sorry they didn't look after you better when you were young.

No,my parents are not degenerates

>Yes, yes, yes. They split when I was 10, I'm 22 now. Even before they split up life was shitty, my mom and dad basically left my brother sister and I alone to start new families. They treated me awful and I hate them. Maybe in the next cycle of life I can have some sort of functional family, until then I'm pissing away my time with booze, weed & video games
Damn. I guess you summed up my feelings on the subject precisely. Although not both my parents have started new families. One of them goes through an endless cycle of women who he deems not good enough for him; the other has vowed never to lay eyes upon another man again.

Do you just have nothing to do with them now then? Live a separate life?

I want to. At the moment I'm stuck working 40 hrs at min wage to pay off college bills, I flunked out twice because I became severely depressed. I've got like a year left before it's paid off and I can actually start saving

My parents are divorced since 2 years and i do not talk with my father since that, my father was sick and he cannot walk anymore(since 5 years or more), my father always talked shit of my mom with the whore of my grandmother and now my father says that my mother never helped him, my sister, my mom and i always helped him.

I think there's something twisted with your parents anyways, the divorce doesn't sound like the trigger for their behaviour.
I basically hated my mom when she was still together with myvdad because she was directing all of her mariage frustration on everybody. That went away after they divorced.
She is in a lesser financial/health situation now tho which makes things more difficult, but thats a different topic.

...

You are very very lucky. I wish I had a united family to turn to. A dad who gave a shit. A dad who actually did his fucking duty as a man and took care of his wife. And, therefore, a mum who wasn't miserably unhappy all the time.

Cherish it my friend.

Might want to think twice, they spawned you after all. Fucking up that badly takes actual effort.

>make them feel so sorry they didn't look after you better when you were young.
I always feel guilty about being critical about my parents, even though I hate them (well, I hate my dad), so I don't say anything.

I guess I'm a fucking spineless faggot

I will tell him how much I hate him but first I should probably get a job. Although I don't necessarily hate to wait until then, since I live at my mum's.

>Did your parents divorce, and if so do you think it has affected you badly?

Yes they divorced and I don't think it affected me badly. My father is a rapist so I am glad he's gone.

Could God have a penis ?

Parents didn't divorce. I always wish they had. My dad was such a dick. I'll never forgive him but he tries real hard now.

That must be stressful to deal with. It's complicated. My mom remarried a year afterwards, had 2 kids the next year and moved away the year after that, I lived with my dad and just talked to her on the phone and visited occasionally. My dad had nothing to do with us, was single for a few years then invited a woman & her daughter into our house who my brother sister and I all hated

...

That sounds fucking shitty bro. Hope it gets better. Find some fun things to do to make it easier.

Fair enough. What's your relationship like with your mother? I don't get on with either of my parents.

Do it man. It's a parents responsibility to raise their child, if they don't then you get fucked up for life and have to deal with the consequences

Interesting. Why do they necessarily need to be together for you to be able to turn to them? What makes you think the type of divorce you're describing here necessarily applies to all divorces? Some can be fairly decent, believe it or not.

Not to say your scenario wouldn't happen, but weigh it against them staying together. Is it worse to have divorced parents who hate each other but are devoted to raising you, or to live in one home with parents who are constantly exploding at each other all the time and still take out their frustrations on you? Married or divorced, parents use their kids as weapons against each other. That doesn't change.

I would rather have separated parents living their own lives than a dysfunctional family which only stays together because they think it's what they're 'supposed to do.'

Yeah they divorced. My mom became a possessive psycho and my dad was in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. I have not had any relationship with my moms exes or my stepdad since I am afraid that they will leave me. I have abandonment issues and it does impact my relationships with women. I cannot be in a long term relationship without freaking out that they will leave me or I will hurt them. I am 21, they split when I was 5. I have been in therapy for almost a year and lost a gf, but I am starting to finally feel better.

Fuck my dad for even fucking making me, fucking bastard, i never asked to be alive, fucking cunt, dad if youre reading this, suck a chode

Unfortunately, my father was a complete degenerate after the divorce. My fantasic mother after that was living with my fuckface lowlife stepfather, not doing shit also a complete fucking degenerate. After highschool ending after living at my fathers shithole house, moving into an apartment and couqouring a stable job nearby... I finally live in total peace.

If only your parents called it off before concepting You, faggot

My parents stayed together, even though they probably should have divorced.

But the smart thing they did (which I now appreciate as a divorced dude) is they just looked the other way when the other was out getting tail someplace else. I always knew the old man was fucking around, but I learned only a few years ago that mom was doing the same thing. Go Mom (she's fucking ancient now, fags, so no pics, creeps).

If I had done the same thing in my last marriage, I'd probably still be with the ho. Divorced her because she cheated. Should have just told her I was going to go out and fuck some 20 year olds myself and leave it at that.

Thanks man, hope you can find happiness in this messed up world

>I think there's something twisted with your parents anyways, the divorce doesn't sound like the trigger for their behaviour.
My dad clearly gave up on the marriage when I was very young - he has always been a very motivated, but ultimately very very insecure person, and in my opinion he thought he was too good for my mum for all those years. He just refused to be a husband. He *was* a father, to be fair - he stayed around because of guilt (his father had left), but he was not a husband. I saw them kiss once in my entire life, when my mum kissed him goodbye for a solo cycling holiday (he did a lot of those). It was just a fucking idiotic family, it wasn't even a family. Just two separate parents who happened to live in the same house, but wouldn't even talk to each other. They slept in separate rooms the last 10 years before divorcing.

So I guess it was untenable.

>I basically hated my mom when she was still together with myvdad because she was directing all of her mariage frustration on everybody. That went away after they divorced.
At least it went away - although my mum hates men a bit less than she used to, which is okay i guess. I think she realised that my brother and I were affected by the fact she kept saying all men are selfish during our teenage years. Because then we felt guilty about it.

Although while it may be less now, she still won't ever consider the thought of being with another man, probably for the rest of her life.

>She is in a lesser financial/health situation now tho which makes things more difficult, but thats a different topic.
Damn. Sorry to hear it man. Hope she does better. That's another thing that sucks - we should be worrying about our OWN futures and our fathers should be doing their duty and taking care of our mothers. But they're not, so who do our mothers have to rely on? I refuse to be that person, myself. Maybe I'm a cunt but I won't do it.

my mom is very unstable because a day is very angry other day sad etc... i don't talk much with my mom, sisters, step brothers... i'm always alone in my room

Parents divorced when I was around five.
Mom is basically a wannabe down to earth whore who literally abandoned my brother and I with my dad, and she's such a huge whore that both my brothers are half-brothers and none of us have the same dad. She left my brother and I alone for years and suddenly three states away decided to contact us and get back into our life. My dad is a controlling fuckhead who is also a wannabe down to earth faggot, but at least he's not wallowing in poverty like my mother.
Fast forward to now, I still live with my dad, my extremely close half-brothers left me to live with our mom and I'm stuck here, but visit them every year, where their house is often poor as fuck and infested with something or other.

I've never given a damn what my family is up to. I'm the middle child in a family of five kids with and older brother and sister and a younger brother and sister, and I can honestly say I've never felt that natural love for my family that is practically instinctual for most people. I don't know why. I love other people quite a lot. I'm a very romantic guy, and I think it would be great to have a family of my own. I've just always felt like it didn't make any sense for me to love my family just because they are my family. I'll still help them out if they need it because they've done the same for me in the past but I don't love them at all. I actually don't really even like being around them. I moved out on my own when I was sixteen and was infinitely happier and better off for doing it. Maybe something is wrong with me though. I've tried loving them but it's just not there.

Parents divorced
Not too big a deal
They're adults

Oh check my dubs. Also, my mom is a drug addict. Probably my dad is too.

They divorced over 10 years ago, and i'm 25 now. I ruined me, i didn't understand why and believed my sister's lies.
Now, even though it's difficult to think this, i know my dad wasn't à good husband, i just know now that i won't do what he did.

My parents divorced when I was two. I still saw my dad after frequently and I wouldn't want them to still be together or anything but it's definitely affected me. I didn't really have a constant male figure in my life, other than him (who lives over an hour away by car) the entire family is female, and it's contributed to anxiety among other things.

Man.

Do you get on with your mum?

Interesting. Yeah I guess it's true some parents who are together have problems / do shitty things too.

>My mom remarried a year afterwards, had 2 kids the next year and moved away the year after that, I lived with my dad and just talked to her on the phone and visited occasionally. My dad had nothing to do with us, was single for a few years then invited a woman & her daughter into our house who my brother sister and I all hated
Damn man. On the one hand that sounds way worse than mine. On the other, I wish my parents would at least get on and fucking do something with their lives instead of hating each other and being depressed

But then my dad says "I DIDN'T HAVE A FATHER" and "I PAID FOR YOUR EDUCATION" because he's a cunt (yes tbf he did pay for education, but yeah)

>Damn. Sorry to hear it man. Hope she does better. That's another thing that sucks - we should be worrying about our OWN futures and our fathers should be doing their duty and taking care of our mothers. But they're not, so who do our mothers have to rely on? I refuse to be that person, myself. Maybe I'm a cunt but I won't do it.

I feel you. My dad is a rolemodel, top of his life game. My mom on the other hand has poor spending habbits and is constantly finding excuses not to work. Sometimes I feel more like a father to her than she is a mother to me as she basically isn't, she does so much shit wrong. But I've gotten used to that, I wouldn't even want her to have her 'educating' me. I just do my own thing, learn from her mistakes and flaws and found my own way.

>Do you get on with your mum?
My mother and I are fine, my sister however or my sisters I should say are the ones that got raped as kids. Its was about 20 years ago, i was 5 years old. When my sister turned 19 or so 6 years ago she sued him for what he had done. Shortly after that my mother startet the divorce. They are still fighting about the house and all the stuff so technically they are still married. I hope it's over soon. Can't wait to sell the house and move on, far waway from where it happend and far away from my father.

nigger dick dick butt blast

I know that feel man.

bump

>Why do they necessarily need to be together for you to be able to turn to them?
True. Well I can't talk to either of them at the moment because they're both cunts - no wait that's not true, only my dad is a cunt, but I don't like talking to my mum because she wants me to be a pussy bitch nu-male and I don't.

It's not her fault tbf, my dad was a cunt.

>Is it worse to have divorced parents who hate each other but are devoted to raising you, or to live in one home with parents who are constantly exploding at each other all the time
Well all of our lives have gotten worse since they broke up. APART from my dad, funnily enough! Insofar as he now buys himself expensive shit and has an endless succession of women who aren't good enough for him - but fundamentally he's still an unhappy lonely prick, though he'd never ever ever admit it.

But yeah, my brother's life, my mum's life, and yeah my life, all our lives have been completely buttfucked. I guess I feel mostly pissed off that my dad never paid attention to my brother (who got bullied as a teen, and still gets depressed and everything) and obviously my mum.

>Married or divorced, parents use their kids as weapons against each other. That doesn't change.
True tbf.

>I would rather have separated parents living their own lives than a dysfunctional family which only stays together because they think it's what they're 'supposed to do.'
I agree there, which is why I wish my dad had had the balls to leave when he had clearly already made the decision to leave, 15 years ago, instead of sulking in his room for 15 years like a fucking teenager.

I just don't know how to fix the current I guess. Yes I'm currently NEET and should get a job, but even if I do, my mum will then be alone, having to care for her mother, she'll be lonely as fuck again, having all this burden all by herself. And my brother is in another city and he's still depressed. So I don't know what the fuck to do.

bump

Damn that sucks. How's your sisters' lives?

Glad to hear you've got a role model in your dad, I think that's really important in life. Basically every guy I know who didn't have a father figure around growing up is fucked up.

Glad to hear you've found your own way man.

Jesus. That's fucked up. Sorry to hear it. That's pretty fucking insane.

Hope your lives get better.

I think there are people who have it worse but thank you nonetheless. Every time I post my story no one seems interested, maybe everyone is thinking this is bait.

On a side note, my father was sentenced but he only had to pay money, no jail for him. I hoped he would die in prison.

Yeah, when I was 6. Now I really don't have any family values, I feel weird when other people do

>it's a bit like the war

WTF are you talkin about user?!

Wtf

Sup Forumsros, I'm in a bit of a situation here with all that. Got divorced in May. I have an awesome 3 year old daughter who I'm wild about. Found out this evening that ex wife is now engaged and her new fiance lives 140 miles from me, he owns a house so I'm assuming that's where they will be living. I'm getting ass raped on child support, I had to work 80 plus hours last week to pay my shit, and I'm near the end of my rope. I could give two fucking shits about my ex wife but this is going to affect the relationship between my daughter and myself. With child support being so high, there is no way I can save money to move closer either.

Drinking myself to death right now seems like a quality idea.

Yeah, to all three.

My parents divorced when I was, like, 8.

I thought for the longest time that it had no appreciable effect on me, but in retrospect, yeah, yeah it definitely warped me a little bit.

It's not even so much anything psychological or nuancey, like, "I can't get close to anyone after seeing my parents split up."

It's more that my single, working mother couldn't look after us properly, that my father was around but not often enough; he was a weekend dad, and then an every-other-weekend dad, and a boy needs more of a father figure than that.

So, in short, yeah... yep. Not blaming my problems on my parents or anything, but it didn't help things at all.

user I'm not the voice of reason but think of your daughter when you drink. If you care about her do you want her to
grow up living with her mom while her dad is some salty drunk far far away? You're going to get your ass beat either way by the government, do whats best for her. I don't want to say it but there is no chance you can keep her permanently. Sorry, I wish you the best

>I think there are people who have it worse but thank you nonetheless.
My friend, I don't think there are many things worse than what you described.

I also don't see how the fuck he avoided jail for that...

Do you think things will be better for all of you after the divorce? I'm sure they must be.

You know how they say when you go to Germany, don't mention the war. That's what I mean. It's like something that you just shouldn't mention.

That's fucking shit bro

Sorry to hear it man

Don't top yourself though, do you want your daughter to grow up without her dad around? Don't do that shit man.

I don't really know what to advise for your situation because that sounds real shit.

>a boy needs more of a father figure than that.
Damn straight, without one you're pretty fucked

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Guess you've got a good attitude towards it 2bh.

I also used to take the line of "it hasn't affected me at all" because I didn't want to cause a fuss, and I didn't want to be a whiny bitch. But then I got angry at realising that my dad is really just an arrogant cunt.

Yeah this is so very true. It's terrible to say, but if I'm honest with myself, family doesn't mean a whole lot to me.

And I'm like ostracized for it because I'm from a boopity boppity beep Italian-American pasta nigger family where family is supposed to be the most important shit in the world to us.

For me, it's just not. I have to feign that shit every time people are like "Oh you're Italian! Food and family, right?" Heh... yep! You know it! (Guh....)

Keeping her permanently isn't even the goal... but this every other weekend only bullshit isn't working out for me. I have no doubts the cards are stacked against me and the government is going to be a real ball ache, but god damn.... I love my daughter more than life itself and this is just eating me up inside.

I'm 28. I realized not having a frequent father figure kind of fucked me when I was about 20.

I grew up with my mom and my sister, so I'm snarky, sarcastic, passive aggressive... I basically get my period once a month.