ITT: Weird shit you either do because you want to or because you have to that you don't really have an explanation for

ITT: Weird shit you either do because you want to or because you have to that you don't really have an explanation for
I'll start: I have to pull out my nuts when I pee at a urinal. If I don't, I can't pee, and I don't know why. Nuts gotta be out.

that's normal. but people usually just lift it out a little bit with there hand and use the other to aim.

Late at night, I think of you and touch myself

I piss on the fuckin floor at convenient stores

Hahaha if I feel like it sometimes I'll pull my nuts out at the urinal too. The best is with sweatpants and you can flop everything over the elastic.

As for shit I do. Sometimes when I'm naked around the house I'll slap my ass once out of nowhere. Sometimes laying in bed too. Just be like *PAP* the slap sound is funny.

Fucking asshole.

I weigh myself before and after taking a dump to see what the turd weight was. Interestingly, its almost 0.6 pounds every time.

I sometimes do guess my turd weight threads on Sup Forums when I'm doing this.

i browse Sup Forums

I shit in condoms and hide them in people's mailboxes.

I once shat in a ziplock and threw it in my neighbors grass. The lawnmower caught it and sprayed my shit into their pool. Good times.

I always set my microwave to a time that's evenly divisible by 6 seconds. no idea why.
i also like to set it with improper seconds, like 4:90 instead of 5:30. That's just because it amuses me, though.

When I was 6 I had a friend who's 11 year old brother took a shit in a 7-11 cup then tossed it over a fence into our neighborhood pool. Shortly after 2 guys jumped in and didn't notice until it was 2 late. One of them screamed "it's shit!" And we lol'd.

...

What a waste of both

I like to do little dumb things, like leaving times on microwaves, number of kisses I give my girlfriend, how many sips I take from a drink, how many reasons I list for things, etc... in a series of 4, 8, 16, 24, 28, 35, 42, 44, or 47, and sometimes even 80 and 88. Yes, because I'm crazy.

after i take a shit, i sit over the edge of the bathtub and run the water next to my butt. Then i rub my asshole with water running through my hand to get it clean. I hate wiping my ass with toilet paper. Such a waste of time and it's disgusting. if we had bidets in America I'd still probably rub my starfish to get it 100% clean. anti bacterial soap gets my hands clean afterwards. I'm not an ape

Before I open a door I have to touch the wall with my hand.

Occasionally I blink really fast for a while and then go back to normal

I have a double identity. In the every day world out side of my studio apartment that I have lived alone in for 10 years, I am a calm mostly emotionless individual, I am nice to people in the walk an old lady across the street kind of way, at bars I am easily able to charm my peers, I have friends that I see once every few weeks, at work I do almost twice the work of a normal employee and when my managers ask how I get so much do I just tell them that it's my job.

I am not that person at home. No one has ever been allowed in my apartment other than the landlord. My place is unfurnished, except the desk for my PC and an old beaten up mattress tossed on the floor with no sheets or blankets. I have nothing. I come home from work every day and sit on the floor against the wall watching as the sun goes down, hoping that if I can just will it hard enough I can make the sun explode and consume this world. I want nothing more than complete annihilation of all existence.

I like you.

You sound incredibly well adjusted.

Thank you for your societal contribution.

SHit me too
Same reason i cant jack it without my undies at least to my knees

Hello, Dexter Morgan.

kekkk

>i also like to set it with improper seconds, like 4:90 instead of 5:30. That's just because it amuses me, though.
autism detected

why post a random quads faggot

>pee in sinks
>smell paper covered with turd after I wipe
>staire into animals eyes and try to send messages
>try to send people telepathic messages when Im bored
>Pick my gfs nose
>pick my belly button so I can sniff it
>cook based on smell
>groom my cat with my tongue for a few secs
>make random ugly autistic faces as I plow my gf in doggy style