My girlfriend and I are in love, and in a long distance relationship. LDR's don't last long. I want to trick her into getting pregnant so we have to get married and stay together. She is not on birth control.
>Pop a hole in the condom
That doesn't usually work considering how much spermicide a condom is covered in
>Don't do it
I know the risks and rewards. I am aware of the morbid nature of my request. I am not asking if I should, I'm asking how.
Thanks!
Just raw dog her and fill that twinkie up bitch
> buy a condom bigger than you
> lube up your dick
> oops! the condom came off
Option #2
> cum in your hand
> tell her it's lube
> rub and finger pussy
Raw dawg and don't pull out... man up, pussy. No wonder she is on the prowl looking for somebody else.
Pee in her butt hole
You realize that if you get married, she'll just take the kids, take your cash, and go back to wherever she is right now, right? Might as well let her go the easy way and try again from a better position.
>LDR's don't last long
I had one last for 6 years. It wasn't that far away, though. Like 100km.
I can confirm that this works.
Get over your oneitis before you ruin your life OP
Or why don't you just like, you know, propose to her? Of course she will reject it, because you are petty. But at least you can say you successfully tried something within your life.
Jesus Christ, you are a fucking asshole. This will ruin your life you fucktard.
hahahahaha, what an idiot
You sound a little bitch who can't handle not having things your way. like grow up faggot.
Drop the bomb on her when she's asleep
Tell her you want to give her oral but before you do put some of your cum in your mouth then while licking her try to get it inside her.
guaranteed pregnancy
Dude, wtf?
knot in her op
How heavy of a sleeper is she? Spend the night with her on your visits and jerk off then finger some cum into her while she's asleep.
This is a no-brainer. The traditional method is doing it doggy style, and while you're doing it, move the condom up until it becomes loose. Keep fucking until it comes off entirely and you can say that you didn't notice it slip off while you were fucking.
You got to invite her over for a few days and get drunk with her till the point you can talk her in to no condom and say you'll pull out easy. Once you're at the end just half jizz in her and pull out and let the rest go where ever. Sadly it worked for me and now I got an annoying ass kid
what makes you think she wont get the coathanger saver?
rape her
>adly it worked for me and now I got an annoying ass kid
this has the ring of truth to it
If she loves you back then you wouldn't need knock her up for her to stay with you. If you're going through lengths like this, I guarantee you that you're overthinking the relationship and are not fit at this point to do things like raising a child. You're going to fuck up her life, as well as your child's if you succeed in this incredibly stupid and selfish plan. Do you honestly think she'll believe you when she magically gets pregnant? This might be the most beta thing ever posted on Sup Forums.
>I am not asking if I should, I'm asking how.
There should be a reading comprehension test before allowing these chucklefucks on the internet.
OP i see no other way of doing what you want without kidnapping her.
You can say that you condim came loose but she can always use birth control pills
You can insert cum into her without her knowing but she can always get an abortion
>kidnap her
>tie her up and tape her mouth shut
>lock the doors
>strap dildo on her and make her fuck you in the ass until she gets pregnant
Go get some drinks, get both drunk, fuck her normally.. go nuts cumming in her vagina. Man that shit is awesome..
But user the girl friend needs to be impregnated not the OP
You're a massive pussay.
This is the kind of stupid I Love Lucy type bullshit some side-ho does to trap a married man.
>"she gets pregnant"
trouble reading user sir?
>hey babe let's do it without a condom I'll pull out
>don't
The one getting penetrated gets pregnant.
You are clearly the woman in this relationship
technically you don't need to penetrate someone to get them pregnant
bump
It worked for me, but it wasn't a long distence relationship, but I got her preggo
Hold her hand.
you could fuck her bomb her pussy and be romantic and marry her you faggot
you know theres nothing stopping her from aborting your child and leaving you right? unless you lock her in a dungeon
>I want to trick her into getting pregnant so we have to get married and stay together.
You know, there's something called divorce right?
...
fucking retard hahahahaha
if you think this will save your relationship, you're greedy and delusional at the least. This is going to fuck both your shit up, then your kids as well.
congratulations, your plan involves the degredation of multiple human lives.
How does it feel?
Bretty gud
:^)
Trips..this is what you do op...this is your fate
Turkey baster full of your jizz while she sleeps.
>Check'd
Trips have spoken OP