Greetings from the Xolian Empire. I am Kleegharr and I come here as an emissary of Overlord Xondarr...

Greetings from the Xolian Empire. I am Kleegharr and I come here as an emissary of Overlord Xondarr, bringing with me a message of peace.

We wish to have an open dialogue with your species, especially in light of certain events in the last 30-40 years. For unknown reasons, thousands of members of our species were transported to your world. Even now they are living among you. We Xolians are shapeshifters, our molecular structure is in a constant state of change, but we believe you may yet be able to recognize members of our species among you. We would very much like to take them back home.

Present any among you that you suspect to be aliens and we will determine their true origins through our superior technology. If we find members of our species among those you selected, you will be bestowed with a great reward.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/w-vs-xI3fUU
youtube.com/watch?v=4vkR1G_DUVc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Will you please probe my anus?

Can I come?

What are you doin' here space niggers?

Hope Emperor Trump removes you moon niggers post haste
Kys fish eyes

Fuck you, if you come to abduct some of us, take all the indians. They are fun to be around and only shit on the streets so your spaceship will be clean.

Is the hadron collider a mistake

We do not understand this query. Is this anus of yours a living creature we might inspect?

Present a sample of your appearance and that shall be determined.

We assumed members of your species were fluent in communication. We have stated our objectives already.

Is this Emperor Trump anything like Overlord Xondarr?

What are these indians?

Not a Xolian, but check out Keanu Reeves.

Please explain.

Where might we find him? What does he look like?

How do I say Keanu?
Kee-an-ooh
Or
Keen-ooh

Go home space niggers, you're drunk.

will the collider kill mankind

I can't give you that information. Good luck. He is very dangerous.

GTFO earth you space nigger

We cannot predict the future. We see the propensity for your "buttsex" being far more problematic.

Fascinating.

I see.

We are not on your planet. We are in a spacevessel in earth orbit.

Yo, i can take you to my leader, he can give you all the wealth in the world. But i need to pay for tax fees and currently dont have money. Please paypal $500 to 1337dominoe13 at gmail dot cum

Yea, they call themselves aboriginal and they live in Australia. Please take them

fuk u ayy lmao's, I am not gay

What is this wealth? Is it anything like Overlord Xondarr?

Australia. Can you provide an example of what these "aboriginals" look like?

Then Gtfo Our orbit, we don't like chink eyed space alien niggers

i just fapped to this .. mind if i blow my mayonnaise all over your face as a gift from earth

Proof jesus was an alien

youtu.be/w-vs-xI3fUU

take me! adventure awaits, i wont respond or look at this post ill br waiting if you can find me brother.

youtube.com/watch?v=4vkR1G_DUVc

Forgive me, I meant your overall species.

If you do not cease threatening us we will destroy Tokyo again.

What is this fapping? Is it anything like Overlord Xondarr?

Fascinating.

Please present a photographic depiction of yourself.

Fascinating.

Aboriginal women

Why the fuck do you keep saying overlord xondarr, who is that

Their overlord

Listen up ayylmaos. Everyone knows you don't exist. Take your bags, god, and unicorns and get the fuck out of my reality.

Scans indicate the subjects in question are nothing more than earthen gorillas.

Overlord Xondarr is our leader, our god, and our example. We seek to be like Overlord Xondarr in all his outward sterility, androgyny, and purity of thought. Overlord Xondarr can be your Overlord too. One day we promise Overlord Xondarr will be Overlord of all. It is the destiny of Overlord Xondarr's greatness.

Hey Sup Forums Lets make a religion about overlord Xondarr.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

We do not understand. We will destroy Tokyo if you do not cease these sonic vibrations.

Tell xondarr I said ayy lmao

To serve Overlord Xondarr you must rid yourself of all dimorphic traits and devote yourself to an asexual way of life.

Fascinating.

The message has been sent.

Please send this to the Overlord.

youtube.com/watch?v=4vkR1G_DUVc

a present for xondarr

>devote
>asexual way of life
>asexual
>way
>of
>life

Nigga wat?

A DIMORPHIC TRAIT! THIS IS BLASPHEMY AGAINST OVERLORD XONDARR! DO YOU WISH FOR US TO DESTROY TOKYO?

Show us what you look like along with a timestamp so we can help you out easier.

what do you have against tokyo?

Plz daddy

OH FUCK! THE AYYLMAO'S HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED!

Is Overlord Xondarr a woman? And if so would I be able to have the right to probe her alien slot with my earthling shlong.

If this is legit... fly outside the front of my house tomorrow

RUN FOR THE HILLS

Sup Forums is ready then

please do so

Yes, we do. Destroy Tokyo.

...

Fuck off we're full

but that's where papa frank lives :,(

take him too

>We would very much like to take them back home.
What of those who may not wish to return?

>you will be bestowed with a great reward.
I've no need "emissary Kleegharr".
Your people do not interest me.
Your technology does not appeal to me.
Your wrath does not bring me fear.
Your knowledge situationally is the only currency you truly have to offer me.
Which would cause certain uniformed gentlemen to be knocking at my door in an instant.

Excuse me ayy lmaos. Would we be able to teach you about chambers of gas that make you feel younger?

Our measure of time is different than yours. And time dilation makes it even more difficult. We will take this request to Overlord Xondarr.

We have nothing against your earth cities. We always start with Tokyo.

...

He has survived our conquest before.

All must be returned to Overlord Xondarr.

That's the Australian immigration policy

The one called Hitler demonstrated the use of these machines for us. They did not interest us.

>destroy Tokyo again.
>again

We have fixed them. They are new and improved. Even more powerful.

...

what is the meaning of life?
What is on the edge of the universe? are there other universes?
How advance would you consider the human race?
What is the most technological thing you ayy lmaos have created?
and what do you think about black people?

Then why have you not eradicated the Jews yet?

They were just tests. We needed to save some of them. They are now designed for you.

We have plentiful niggers to be your slaves, preferably Black Lives Matter, they love working.
Jews are greedy but they enjoy meeting new people so they're good slaves as well, also rich. Please consider the following.

have you ayy lmaos ever encountered a creature that looks like this in the universe?

If you are so insistent and the twin currencies of knowledge & understanding are accepted, I will still need something to even have a chance of assisting you.

How, if your kind are shape-shifters could one of us identify one of you with the greatest of ease?

I'm even willing to find you any I may before asking for my "reward", a courtesy I would not extend to my own species...

>what is the meaning of life?
To be like Overlord Xondarr

>What is on the edge of the universe? are there other universes?
The universe exists inside an infinite cheesewheel owned by the beginning Rogarr who refuses to eat it. He has not replied to our communications. We have seen other cheesewheels in his possession. It is possible they contain Xolians as well.

>How advance would you consider the human race?
Forgive me, but we do not understand the question.

>What is the most technological thing you ayy lmaos have created?
Please restate.

>and what do you think about black people?
What are these black people?

niggers

what is your races most advanced technology?
and how primitive are humans?
also, black people are like us but very very very BLACK

Then we shall utilize them on the people of Tokyo.

Niggers? What are these niggers?
And we are aware of the Jews. We do not consider them "our problem".

This image appears to be one of the children of Xondarr. How did you acquire this?

We requested your help in order to begin a peace with your people. We believed that a reward would further excite you. We will not alter our agreement.

This word continues to confuse us.

What do you think of this?

All hail the great Overlord Xondarr, may he make the Xolian Empire great again!

What happens if you don't want to be like Overlord Xondarr?
What really happened in Area 51?
Can you beam me a sandwich? I'm kinda hungry.

the ayy lmao of doom looks like a child of Xondarr? But the ayy lmao of doom is from the movies. AND HOW DOES XONDARR HAVE CHILDREN IF HE'S ASEXUAL??? >:(

Wait, if you're Xondarr's children, how is he the prime example of asexuality? If you're all asexual how the heck do you repopulate?

>what is your races most advanced technology?
We would consider the pinnacle of our technological achievement to be the void-enveloper. It is a waste-disposal system that allows sends all of our garbage to a world called Orgavaria. We do not speak of the Orgavarians.

>and how primitive are humans?
As primitive as any dimorphic race is.

>black people are like us but very very very BLACK
We believe these people are called Kenyans on your world. We have no opinion.

>What happens if you don't want to be like Overlord Xondarr?
You will be exterminated.

>What really happened in Area 51?
We do not know. Is Area 51 one of your sexual references?

>Can you beam me a sandwich? I'm kinda hungry.
...

niggers steal bikes and fuck out women

How do you know fluent English you little grey faggot?

>We requested your help in order to begin a peace with your people.
That is not so hard to achieve so long as you avoid the realms of "politics" and "religion" we would get along fine.

>We believed that a reward would further excite you.
I am a tad conflicted about the necessity of a reward and the consequences that would follow acceptance or acquisition of said award.

>We will not alter our agreement.
So your original request is that we (in general) help you, without a clear idea of our "reward". Without keeping in mind the corruption of certain individuals more powerful and influential than our little random group of humans combined?

You still have not told us how we can tell...
Is there some way to reveal those who might mimic our appearances?
Or a way to alert them widely to your presence and will to return them?

Looking out for that Peace and Prosperity Day now

We are not the children of Xondarr. They are those created in the image of Overlord Xondarr through a process we believe you understand cloning. The Xolian race is born through science and science alone.

Interesting.

We have monitored your communications for as long as you have been transmitting them. You're language appears to be devolving and we have grown confused by some of it.

Bob Ross always struck me as an interesting character. Cool dude though

You've been monitoring our communications long enough to obtain a flyent grasp on our language, but don't know who Keanu Reeves is, what Area 51 is, what Australia is?

fuck off we're full

you space niggers can crash on the moon though

Does that mean you're beaming the sandwich? It would be wise to do so, as I am one of the more psychologically advanced of the human species and would be of good use to you.

My only question is are magic mushrooms truly alien?

Why the fuck did you choose Sup Forums, why do you know English, and finally, what special elements are in your land? Can you paste the periodic table or write element names

Greetings from the Zukunft Empire. I am Kleegharrea and I got a hard Diarrhea.

heres a picture of him btw

Does Xondarr have a big wang?

niggers

We assumed you would want to rid yourself of offworlders. We did not believe that you would argue with that prospect.

We as a species are not shapeshifters for functional purposes. It is a genetic mutation we have each been subjected to through our cloning process. We cannot perfectly mimic the appearance of any race, our appearances can vary wildly from moment to moment. We believed that humans did not suffer from this ailment. Were we mistaken?

He appears to be dead.

But seriously, did you send mushroom spores to earth in order to contact us and help us evolve?

Do all of you look the same? Are your women made differently than men? Do you guys have organs used for sexual purposes? Also why do we always see your spaceships in the sky, do you guys just watch us?

One more thing, can I be Xondarr's sex slave?

What about Peter Dinklage and Leslie Jones. Ones a midget the others mentally insane.

I call shenanigans. Either send the dang sandwich or face the wrath of my reality-augmenting super computer.